Friday, December 31, 2010

Friday Cat Blogging

Thursday, December 30, 2010


I got tired of the cold and decided that being cold and wet was more my style. So I went on a walk. In the snow.  I went back to Lake Johnson, several hours later than I probably should have, but it was a challenge and I wanted to play with the light!  Sure, it was planned that way, I didn't go to the park until almost too late because I've gotten too used to proper light and dry feet and a lack of frost bite and that's just lazy and wrong.

Ta Da!

Clearly, I didn't stay long and I didn't get very far. Again, totally part of my plan .

Monday, December 27, 2010


How was your Christmas? Good? Good.

We got snow.

The Garden in Winter. Rrrrrrrrrr.

my kingdom for a very large litter box

also wants a litter box

not excited about this

soooo pretty!

Saturday, December 25, 2010




Friday, December 24, 2010

Friday Cat Blogging

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas to me! Hazzah! I found a bunch of CDs I thought I had lost forever! Bruce Springsteen, Fat Boy Slim, Captain and Tenille! I decided that I must have taken them to Marquette and then left them there where I figured that they got eaten by over-wintering squirrels .

Thank gawd for New Car! Its the only working CD player in the house. Maybe after Christmas if I've forgiven myself my profligate ways, perhaps I'll by myself a working model.

Speaking of Christmas, Merry Christmas! And sicne we're talking about Christmas, lets chat about light posting. I'm going to be posting lightly through the new year - Not not posting, just posting less frequently than daily.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Domo Arigato, Santa!

Santa ga machini yattekuru]


Anatakara Merry Christmas

Watashikara Merry Christmas

Santa Claus is coming to town

Ne kikoetekuru desho

Suzuno negasugusokoni

Santa Claus is coming to town

~Machi kirenaide oyasumishitakoni

Kitto subarashii Present motte


Anatakara Merry Christmas

Watashikara Merry Christmas

Santa Claus is coming to town


Christmas Eve wo yubiorikazoeta

Osanai omoidemo koyoi natsukashi


Anatakara Merry Christmas

Watashikara Merry Christmas

Santa Claus is coming to town



Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I do go to church, thank you

Are ya'll ready for some football? No? Neither were any of my teams. How about Are ya'll ready for some sacrilege?  Okay! Its time for an all-dog-all- Daisy Nativity Scene!

Daisy as:
The Angel




three, Wisemen


the Shepard

And his


Desert Polar Bear

And his
Desert Bunny Rabbit

And  finally,



And, no I don't have a Daisy as baby Jesus - Its not Christmas yet! Get your baby Jesus out of your creche!  And Daisy may pass for many, many, many things, a new born human is not one of them.


Monday, December 20, 2010

The countdown

Heads up to my readers that access the site through your phone or other mobile devise, this page can now be read much more easily. Yay.

Instead of posting lyrics, today I'm doing a link to a transcript of a Saturday Night Live piece from gawd, a long time ago, but it is about Christmas Carols so its on topic.

Christmas Hits!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Friday Cat Blogging

Merry Christmas from....

Zan, zan, zan, zan, zan, zan, zan,

koy e van, koy e van?

Koy shte doyde v tozi chas?

Tuk pristiga dyado Mraz!

Iskam oshte shtom go zarna,

ot sartse da go pregarna,

che si znam, che si znam,

toy mi nosi dar golyam!

Zan, zan, zan, zan, zan, zan, zan,

koy e van, koy e van?

Koy shte doyde v tozi chas?

Tuk pristiga dyado Mraz!

Iskam oshte shtom go zarna,

ot sartse da go pregarna,

che si znam, che si znam,

toy mi nosi dar golyam!

Iskam oshte shtom go zarna,

ot sartse da go pregarna,

che si znam, che si znam,

toy mi nosi dar golyam!

..... Bulgaria!!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

It'sll be a blue and white Christmas...

Today's totally random foreign language Christmas carol is drum roll please...


Muistat Tuhkimon, Lumikin, Ruususen varmaan

ja Punahilkan ja sudenkin harmaan,

mutta poro tää sulta usein unhohon jää.

Petteri Punakuono oli poro nimeltään,

ollut ei loiste huono Petterimme nenänpään.

Haukkuivat toiset illoin majakaksi pilkaten.

Tuosta vain saikin silloin joulupukki aattehen:

Aattoilta pitkä on, taival valoton.

Petteri vois nenässään valon tuoda pimeään!

Petteri siitä asti pulkkaa pukin kiskoen

johtaa sen riemuisasti luokse lasten kilttien.
Deep, meaningful lyrics that go to the soul of Finnish faith or Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I transcribe, you decide. I spelled checked this and Blogger reported that it seemed I was asking it to correct Finnish and would I like to change to Finnish to do the check. It can't post pictures on a regular basis but it recognizes Finnish when it sees it.
Oh, I had a Christmas miracle around here. My table lamps in the living room haven't worked in years. I bought new lamp shades and suddenly they stopped working. I tried to do something about it at first and then I decided that I hardly ever lit them anyway and it wasn't worth the agita. I put my Santa's out and I thought they seemed really sad sitting in the dark, so I as a lark, flipped on one of the lamps and it lit! I put a bulb in the other lamp and for yucks I turned it on and it lit too! I was genuinely amazed. Now my Santa's are happy and I have my lamps back. Ta da!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Guess the carol

Tocam Sinos
Arrojadamente através da neve
Num trenó aberto de uma baia*
Sobre os campos nós vamos
Sorridentes todo o caminho
Sinos nos cavalos tilintam**
Fazendo os espíritos rebrilharem
Que divertido é rir e cantar
Uma canção de trenó esta noite

Ah, tocam sinos, tocam sinos
Tocam todo o caminho
Ah, que divertido é passear
Num trenó aberto de uma baia
Tocam sinos, tocam sinos
Tocam todo o caminho

Ah, que divertido é passear
Num trenó aberto de uma baia
Um dia ou dois atrás
Eu pensei em dar um passeio
E logo Dona Fanny Bright***

Estava sentada ao meu lado
O cavalo era magro e fraco
A má de sorte parecia fazer-lhe parte
Nós entramos num banco de neve
E então nós capotamos ****

Ah, tocam sinos, tocam sinos
Tocam todo o caminho
Ah, que divertido é passear
Num trenó aberto de uma baia
Tocam sinos, tocam sinos
Tocam todo o caminho

Ah, que divertido é passear
Num trenó aberto de uma baia sim
Ah, tocam sinos, tocam sinos
Tocam todo o caminho

Ah, que divertido é passear
Num trenó aberto de uma baia
Tocam sinos, tocam sinos
Tocam todo o caminho

Ah, que divertido é passear
Num trenó aberto de uma baia

Have you guessed? Do you think you know? A two part question -  what language is it in, and what popular carol is it?
I'll give you the language, its Portugueus! I'll give you a seconmd to go to babblefish to get it translated. Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Bing! Right in one!

Dashing through the snow

In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bob tails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing song tonight

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh

Bonus lyrics!
A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
We got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh yeah

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh

From: From:

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Baby weims! Squuuueeeeeee!!!

I either did my first or my last gardening this weekend. Last, in that I emptied out and brought it my front porch flower pots, and first, in that I disposed of the dirt by covering my  Halloween pumpkins and hopeing for sprouts.

This year I disposed of my pumpkins in a much more sprout friendly location with much better light instead of just dumping them over the side and forgetting about them. Last year they voluntarily sprouted under much more difficult conditions but did not produce any pumpkins, this year I am hopeing that under much better circumstances I might have volunteer pumpkins instead of just volunteer vines, lovely and welcome as they were.

My question would be, is it better to leave the pumpkins whole and let them break down naturally or should I break them up and hurry the process along? The fact that its veryverycold right now might render the question moot. According to the map all the bitter cold, stadium destroying weather is falling on us. I hate gravity. On the upside to all this cold, my raspberry bushes are in heaven. They love being cold.

My Christmas decorations have suffered their first casualty. Pengy the outdoor penguin had to come in from the cold. He did one beak plant too many and I decided to pull him from the line. Also his wing kept falling off and his hat needs to be tacked down. Pengy was sad and needed some  down time in the penguin ICU.

I've had problems with my other penguins too. I was bringing Dogger back from our Thank-You-Jesus-Last-Walk-of-The-Night and I noticed that there was too much snow collecting on the face of the globe, so I did my usual pat down to clear it and return  the "snow" to the atmosphere. The  globe deflated under my hands. Damn it.

I  hurried put Dogger back in the house and found a flashlight. I then went back outside in the cold to root around in the dirt around my snow globe. I've never had to do that, I plug it in and it blows itself up. There is no on/off switch. Its either plugged in or its not. I checked the cord and it was fine, I checked the extension cords and it was fine, I checked the timer and it was fine. My snow globe was not fine, it is called an "air-blown" and the air was not blowing.

I sat there in the dirt and tried to focus What makes these things stop? What do I know about sudden, non-cord related, non-electricity related stoppage? Fuses. Somewhere there is a fuse and it is bad. The problem now is to find the fuse. In the dark. In the cold. In the wet.

Fortunately, the air-blown practices good customer service. The fuse was indeed blown (patted self on back for figuring that out, in the dark/cold/wet)  but sitting quietly next to the blown fuse was a replacement, unblown.  Bright, warm, bright, dry Victory.

Monday, December 13, 2010


Well. It was rainy and cold and generally gross on Saturday. God smiled on the Edwards family because the weather kept most of the crazies of all persuasions at bay. It turned out the cult only sent five people and the nice people sent only enough to make the cult look small and pathetic by comparison, not that  it took a greater number of people to do that. There were pictures in the paper of a few signs reminding us that God is Love and no pictures of any signs suggesting otherwise.

I went, but too late to gawk at the cult members. I parked, I walked a long way in the rain and then nothing, the freaks had all ready left. A little rain and cold and and they left before there permit expired!  but I suppose that the shopping in whatever piss ant town in Kansas they hail from pales comparison to  the shopping opportunities at Crabtree Valley Mall. Greed always trumps bile spewing.  In any case I was forced to experience the heartbreak of Gawkus interrptus. I did however manage to get some good gawking in at the huge amount of press and  cops that pretty much made up crowd when I got there. I think I saw more cops there maintaining order in a sea of order then I did when someone was murdered on my street. The funeral went on unmolested.

Before I went and gawked, I went to get touch up paint - unsuccessfully, I ordered the paint but couldn't bring it with me then, a kind of a pain in the neck because the dealership is hardly next door and a return trip was not on my to-do list. It is now. On the upside a friendly tech person taught me how to set the trip odometer. I tried to read the book but it wasn't clear, but now I know how I can see if my oil needs to be changed without having to mess with the hood and interact with the actual oil,  so that's nice.

Later, Dogger and I went to get her picture taken. Successfully, the first fruitful thing I did all day. It took three tries, the first time she moved, the second time the elf forgot to put the memory card back into the camera and finally, the third time was the charm. We spent  a lot of wandering around the store waiting to hear if we could finally go home. Dogger was a total champ and charmed everyone she saw and actually did as she was asked! She was asked to sit for a treat and she actually sat! I had to check her ID tags to make sure I had the right dog!

For someone who was aggressively ambivalent about decorating, my house now looks like Santa's Workshop. The halls are well and truly decked,  the tree is resplendent and my Santa's are everywhere . Speaking of my halls,  I think the hall is the one place I failed to consider... This calls for a trip to Poverty Barn!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Friday Cat Blogging

The secret to your pets' lithe cat-like physique exposed!

I had a very simple plan for the weekend. It included decorating the tree, the mantel and distributing the Santai and then going to the Honda dealership to pick up touch up paint so I'll never need it - fail to get touch up paint and you are doomed to a life of door dings. and after that, getting Doggers picture with Santa taken.

This would be doable. Busy, but doable. And then, and then the freaks from Kansas decided to crash Elizabeth Edwards funeral. In Raleigh, on Saturday, downtown. And now I have something else to add to the list - decorating the tree, the mantel and distributing the Santai and then going to the Honda dealership  to pick up touch up paint so I'll never need it - fail to get touch up paint and you are doomed to a life of door dings, and after that, getting Doggers picture with Santa taken,  do whatever I can to make life difficult for interfere with and disturb freaks either downtown or at the cemetary, they are both close to my house.

Merry Christmas.

Thursday, December 9, 2010


I came home and walked Dogger and got her fed and then started my dinner and got me fed and got the dishes cleaned up and watched some TV and then I took my book in Doggers room and read in there with her for a while and it occurred to me that I had received a call from the framing place earlier in the day that my order was ready.

And I said Hmm. I would like to go pick that up but I don't know, it feels pretty late. I don't want to go out if its late . It was 6:34pm. It gets dark early here. It looks the same at 6:34 as it does at 10:45. I think there should be a difference, that there should be some way other than looking at the clock, to tell how late it is. Maybe  like until say, 8pm the sky could be a nice royal purple  and as it got later the sky could get less purple and more black. Someone can work on that.

I remember the first year I lived here, right after the time changed in the winter I was watching TV and I realized it was dark and had been for a while and  was just a few days ago it was light until about 9pm and so if it was really dark  it must be really late  and so I got ready for bed and put on my Pj's and washed my face and made sure my purse and keys were were I could find them in the morning and then I turned on the TV and it was, you know, 8:30 and I was ready for bed.

This time I didn't go quite that into it so I was still  wearing street clothes and was able to pack up Dogger and we went to Knightdale and I picked up my matting and while I was in the middle of Retailand, I thought it might be a good idea to look around... you never know, I might see something that I or someone I know needs.

Nobody I know "needs" anything right now. Santa is going to come to all of our houses and leave us a lot of stuff that we want, this is not a time of year for buying things because of need. March is a good time for need - things like socks and pajamas or new dress shoes or khakis. Boring things. Right now its all about want.

I all ready got everything anyone told me they wanted. To that end I bought  in bulk. Everyone I know is getting bedazzled Pj's and mirrored sneakers and fishing-rods you can also use as a pen. And this year everyone is getting slim jims and glorified burglar tools. I will never be locked out again.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


In honor of my getting my boxed up cookies mailed and my Christmas cards  addressed, stamped  and mailed  and scoring a flood light for my front door (Whoop!) and mindful of all the time I spent this summer and am spending now in Sweden with my new friends Elizabeth Salander and Kalle Freaking Blomkvist I bring you a Swedish Christmas carol about...  Gnomes!

Tomtarnas Julnatt  - The Gnomes' Christmas Night
Midnatt råder,

tyst det är i husen,

tyst i husen.

Alla sover,

släckta äro ljusen,

äro ljusen.

Se, då krypa

tomtar upp ur vrårna

upp ur vrårna,

lyssna, speja,

trippa fram på tårna,

fram på tårna.

Snälla folket

låtit maten rara,

maten rara,

stå på bordet

åt en tomteskara,


Hur de mysa,

hoppa upp bland faten,

upp bland faten,

tissla, tassla¹,

"God är julematen,


Gröt och skinka,

lilla äppelbiten,


tänk så rart

det smakar Nisse² liten,

Nisse² liten.

Nu till lekar!³

Glada skratten klingar,

skratten klingar,

runt om granen³

skaran muntert svingar,

muntert svingar.

Natten lider.

Snart de tomtar snälla,

tomtar snälla,

kvick och näpet

allt i ordning ställa,

ordning ställa.

Sedan åter

in i tysta vrårna,

tysta vrårna,


tassar lätt på tårna,

lätt på tårna

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


Tired. Tired now. Tired  and my knees hurt but I did get all my to-be-mailed dog cookies packed up and ready to go. I even remembered to put Christmas cards for the people tucked inside the boxes.  I'm pretty sure that I'm going to mail them in two trips because I don't really think anyone is going to want to wait for me to get seven boxes processed to seven different cities. Its not going to be pretty, The USPS is going to totally have to be on their Christmas list after this.

Speaking of Christmas, I still have the other non-dog cookie cards to deal with. I could have sucked it up and done the whole sign/address/stamp project tonight but I think its better just to do one job at a time and not make myself too crazy. Because I can make myself too, too crazy. I'm good at that.

I also made a decision about the decorations. The big tree is up and pre-let. It looks nice from the outside and pretty from the inside. I'm thinking that I'm not going to put ornaments on it, I have conservatively speaking, thirty-five million ornaments and while I lurve me some ornaments and I buy about sixteen thousand new ones every year - I really do not feel like putting them on the tree. In theory they're great, I mean so pretty... but  jeezus its a lot of work and then you have to take them down and thats about the most depressing thing to do ever.

I'm not turning into a Franciscan though, never fear. I am still bringing out the Santa's, albeit in an edited form and I'm still lighting and decorating the mantel so its going to be almost like it is every other year just less labor intensive. Less pretty, less shiny, less sparkly, fewer memories.

Maybe if someone would decorate it for me.

Again speaking on Christmas. Its cold! Very cold. Last night after we got back to the house, I puttered and Dogger slept. Time passed and I decided it was time to take Dogger out to relieve herself.

Me - Dogger do you need to potty?
Dogger - No. Go away now. Blanky and I need our alone time.
Me - Its been a while. Go outside and go wee-wee?!
Me - Go side?
Dogger - Do I look like a husky? Do husky have to wear sweaters inside? No where in my background does it suggest that I enjoy bitter cold.
Me - Its not good for you to hold it.
Dogger - Mind your business. If you need to go wee, go wee. Leave me and my blanket alone.

I poked my nose outside and it froze.  Dogger was more than happy to go out in the morning.

Monday, December 6, 2010


How was your weekend? Let see, I:

- Got some darling new micro-fiber pajamas
-Visited with my parents
-Updated my Amazon list
- Raked and leaf blew my front yard
-Finished up my Christmas Shopping
-Did about 90% of my outdoor decorating
-Got both trees up inside
-Unearthed my Christmas clothes
-Got a new car!

Remember Minnie Van? I don't! Completely wiped from my mind. Did you know that cars come with CD players and adjustable mirrors, and smoked glass and steering wheels that do more than steer? and  automatic locks and automatic windows? and fancy things like a search function for the radio and built in XM radio and keys called "smart keys"? and that some cars have places to plug in your Ipod? I didn't! It turns out over the last several years I have been driving a covered wagon. it was just painted purple and so I didn't recognize that it was actually a Conestoga wagon and it belonged in a museum

Meet Ellie the Element!
Isn't she the most beeytiful car you ever saw?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Friday Cat Blogging

Its 3am do you know what's in my food dish?
Checking her list

Well. While I didn't actually sit down and power through my Christmas card list, I did get three of them prepped to mail and got three bags of cookies boxed up. I counted and that's three down, seven to go. One was a late addition that didn't make it onto the Official List, so in fact, I did extra credit.

I also went through The List and separated the cards into  piles 1) Send with Cookies and 2) Just send, and 3) Work people - with and without cookies. There is also the list of who gets the "good" cards and who gets the "other" cards.  Point of order, the "other" cards are quite lovely in their own right.This took a lot longer than you would think  but now I am certain that while I ordered the right amount of  "good" cards, that I need to be very careful  with them because there are no extras. I gave myself a firm pat on the back for saving envelopes from last year from a few newbies so this year I will properly add them to my permanent list of "good" card getter's. Of course I will.

While I was sitting there feeling all organized and getting things together and separating my cards into little piles and I decided I could really get started trying to get started until I was able to mail the cookies, because it doesn't matter how many tidy piles I create if they have nowhere to go. A trip to Wallyworld ensued. I didn't need to buy more decorations but I did anyway. If I don't buy up the sparkly Moravian stars because I know they're Moravian stars then they are going to be bought by people who think they are merely "star-bursts" and that would be wrong and disrespectful. It was a public service really.

So what I will do it to put together my boxes and add a card with an ingredient list included to each - which I will remember to sign and  then plop in the bags of cookies, secure the whole mess and seal. I'm not planning on doing anything to personalize them because I am all ready personalizing them by remembering they have dogs.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Ya wanna see what I did instead of writing an entry?

I took all of those, I'm not sure its clear, that's ten, ten bags of dog treats

and turned them into

Nineteen bags of dog treats. I know its not clear from that picture but trust me, nineteen bags of dog treats. I think I have dog treat baggers elbow now.

I would posted these last night but Blogger was bloggered and wouldn't co-operate.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Cold Front

Monday night I  was tired so I went to bed early. And then woke up every ninety minutes until my alarm went off. No good deed goes unpunished.

I woke up the first time at the same time I would have normally been turning in, a creature of habit I guess I needed to make sure I wasn't missing out of anything, after that I work up because I was hot - not surprising as I sleep under about a foot of blankets and comforters, I removed a few layers and went back to sleep only to wake up again because I was cold. After that the kitty woke me up to let me know he lurved me, which I let go on way too long because it was just so sweet, until I looked at the clock and it had to end. Then I was just kind of awake.

It wasn't until after I was officially awake and dressed that I realized that kitty's bowl was completely empty, which totally made me rethink that middle of the night sweetness. He didn't want to remind me how much he wufed me, he wanted to force me to feed him. Sadly for him this isn't my first time on this ride and I do not feed on demand. Kitty does get points for resisting the urge to destroy my things to get my attention. Good luck with that though, everything I own now is plastic, thank you Tex.

I looked out the window first thing and it looked cold. I grumbled and pulled out a winter coat. I stepped outside to feed the ferals and it was hot. I found this really annoying. It looked cold,  and it was hot and I had been awake all night, I did not need this frustration.

You know what's also frustrating? The mentally ill do not put a lot of priority on customer service. I went to the Dix Grill for a tuna salad sandwich , they make an outstanding tuna salad and they are usually quite prompt, more so now that the place is all but empty. I was the line. The guys making my lunch, all killed someone to earn the privilege serving me but were to crazy to stand trial. I'm real polite to them and I try hard to not let the pod people wear my skin . I'm real strict about that with the pod people - No Wearing My Skin!

Anyway, I'm waiting and the guys in the kitchen bing the little bell.  My food is ready. The guy at the counter is filling the drink tower with ice. He was really serious about filling that drink tower. The kitchen binged the little bell again and the guy went on filling the tower. Bing!Bing!Bing!Bing! The guy just kept on with the ice. The guys in the kitchen were lined up watching him and taking turns binging the bell and looking well, like pissed off crazy people and this jack ass was  concentrating on filling the damn drink tower like the binging is not going on and the crazy guys aren't getting tense and that putting ice in the drink tower was the more important task ever in the entire world.

 I'm standing there thinking these are murderers! they chopped people up! These are the ax murderers our mothers warned us about and this lunatic is pissing them off! We are all going to d i e! I am going to die over a tuna sandwich! Oh gawd,  I am going to end up in the tuna salad!  Finally someone came and rescued me re-directed the guy , chilled out the other guys and gave me my lunch. It was still hot out.