Monday, January 31, 2011

Sunday night feels like Monday

I'm trying to watched the Sag Awards but I'm finding I don't care. Steve Buscemi just won again. This trophy is being announced by an actor I don't recognize and a pair of tits in a blue gown.

I'm sure the tits are fine actors.Boardwalk Empire just won for I think best ensemble, I'm having to read lips because the tits have an irritating speaking voice. Now The White Shadow is announcing something. or reading rules or perhaps singing I can't tell and I can't be bothered to unmute the TV. He might be reading the rules, the rules were applauded by  juvenile actors I don't recognize and Ernest Borgnine.

Now the president from 24 is talking. He is enunciating very well but I don't know what he's talking about. Commercials! He does commercials! Okay! Does SAG hand out trophies for commercials? Or maybe we're celebrating commercials as another avenue for actors to get paid and thus pay their SAG dues. Very many well known actors paid the bills and pay the bills still, by doing commercials. Well, who knew? Other than everyone in the audience and everyone watching at home.

Now another actor  is talking. A title card tells me he's announcing Best Actress in a supporting role, film.  I hope the little girl for True Grit wins. No, Melissa Leo wins. I don't care for her because I found her tiresome on Homicide Life on the Streets  but rather her than Jackie from That 70s Show, because really? that would be embarrassing.

I was a very good girl this weekend. I single handily turned my spare bedroom from a storage locker back into a spare bedroom! It morphed into a storage locker around Christmas and I just learned to keep the door closed.

Oh! Its Amy Poler from Parks and Rec, I don't watch that show but I understand it is not The Office. I have turned up the sound.  Best  Lead Actor in a comedy,  Steve Buscemi can't win this one! Have I mentioned that everyone from Glee pisses me off? Oh! Alec Baldwin won! I like him! Yay! Glee lost!  Whoo!

John Ham announcing Best Lead  Actress in a Comedy. I love Tina Fey and I want her to win! I don't find drug addicted RNs funny and I hate Glee, The Tits were nominated too! Oh, and Betty White for her show.  And the winner is Betty White! What. A. Shock. I wrote that down even before he said it I am awesome and my power is great.

The cast of  The Kings Speech . Draco Malfoy's' Aunt is wearing a better dress at this awards show than she did at the Golden Globes but her hair is a fright. I think they are talking about Great Brits on Film or their film or something British. Now we seeg to the very American Run DMC and "Red Hot Republican Mama" Angie Harman who is noticeably horrified by Run. We are now announcing best cast of a comedy or advertising theirs, its hard to tell. Harmon's dress is distracting. I wonder how many dead liberals it's made of.

Go 30 Rock! Damn it, Glee is there too, Hot in Cleveland might be a dark horse in the race, Modern Family whatever, The Office, yawn, And the winner is Modern Family, The Tits are back!

I missed some award show. I think they are explaining why the 102 year old Earnest Borgnine was in the audience. He's being given the Betty White Award Life Time Achievement for outliving his better paid, more famous co-stars. Character actors do not flame out or die young.

Charlie Sheen will never be a character actor.

Winona Ryder is nominated for something? She looks as shocked as I am. Goof God, Claire Danes is winning again for that same movie? Didn't it come out three years ago? Is every  award show adopting the Grammys policy of rewarding work no matter how old? She won a GG for it to. Two years in a row.

Why am I watching this? I must have more important things to do? Soon,  I have decided that the garden is too small and it needs to be expanded so I am going to, expand it. Intitally the size wascompletely arbitrary and I was so thrilled that it was so much larger than it had been the fact that it was still small didn't register. It won't much bigger as my yard is small  tiny, but I hope to expande the garden enough to capture more sunlight and allow for more planting - my bean and pea tee-pees are going to take up more room than  tomato plants, so I need more space. I am also thinking of bringing in the baby pool off the bench and utilizing it this year as well and of course, the side of the house will again be part of the starting line up. Its not about working harder its about working better.

Christan Bale won something.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Friday Cat Blogging


Somebody was having tummy troubles and it was not me. If I was ill I could be ill inside, where its marginally warmer and where I could read a magazine or huddle under a cozy blanket. Instead I've been wandering around  the front yard while somebody ate all the grass that had not yet died in the yard. Someone is very picky about which roughage she will eat - dead grass and weeds need not apply, a lot of wandering around had to be done to get what she needed. She prefers the hipsters front yard as it has more live grass than mine.

She ate all the grass, the hipsters and mine so now my yard looks like an infield now after all of that, nothing . Dogs eat grass and then they throw up. Period. Grass is ingested and then vomit occurs. Issues solved. Isn't nature wonderful?  But no. I got tired of walking around while she grazed and so I poured a little hydrogen peroxide down her throat. Finally some progress.

She came back inside, drank  a lot of water and went to sleep.

This was not totally unexpected. Heartburn is common in dogs  and is a known side effect of her Addison's med in general. I have kept prilosec(tm) around the house for years but when I ran out I think I replaced it with the wrong kind. I thought what I was getting was the kind that extinguished the heartburn - Its not, its the kind that treats it by preventing it. This is not helpful.

She seems okay now. I hate it when she's sick. I get bad flashbacks and I get anxious. I'm sure sickness makes her day too but I'm not sure what she remembers about those events. Does she start to worry about her health? does she get the same stress that I do when she's a little off? Does she remember the tense trips to the emergency clinic? Does she think about the IVs and scary white coats? Does she remember anything? I hope she doesn't. I hope every tummy ache is a completely new experence.

Thursday, January 27, 2011


Why isn't it spring yet? I"ve been researching DIY sprinklers for the garden, I need an extra wide sprinkler and I'm afraid there isn't one I can buy OTC from my friendly neighborhood discount store that will suit my needs. I've looked at them but I think I need something longer with a wider spray area, I'm a little afraid that I;m going to have to solve this problem with a bit of retail therapy but I would prefer not to. I have looked online and found directions for DIY sprinklers. The magic words for a DIY sprinkler making are  "PVC pipe". They don't explain how I can make this contraption spray the space as most of the pictures of these show them as being more like fountains than practical  irrigation devices.

There is more research to be done and in the mean time I've been looking at seed catalogues for different varieties of bell peppers and bean and pea seeds, visiting nurseries for the same and driving cross country for barrels to plant in as well as day dreaming about spending as portion of my tax refund on a good used garden tiller.   I am ready. I am praying in a week or so when that whatever top hatted vermin tells us its spring, tells us to get our shorts out.

It is 40 degrees and raining.

On the upside, I am riding my exerbike three miles a day in addition to walking the dog three times a day and I am cutting back on work day snacks. These are good things. I look forward to being able to ride an actual non-stationary bike outside at some point and I would love to no longer wear three layers of clothes just to walk the dog. I am ever hopeful.

I am also a liar. Dogger has not gotten three walks for the last two days! she's had two walks over two days! I am a bad Dog mother. Dogger needs those walks to keep her joints lose and pliable, and maintain her strength and endurance as part of her on going rehabilitation .I've been making the walk decisions on my own and decided for Dogger that she doesn't really want to walk in the drizzle. I decided that she hates drizzle - Which is a patent lie, because as many times as we have walked in full on deluges I can attest that Dogger doesn't really care about getting wet, she doesn't like thunder and lightening but she has no argument with rain. She doesn't mind walking in it but oddly, she objects to going out in for a quick pee in the same rain. Thus proving my argument : She hates the rain.

Its really the air temperature, warm rain is not  a problem, but cold rain is a no-go. She's a nine year old large breed dog with arthritis that  only exacerbates her pre-existing joint issues. If I really loved her I would have moved us to Nevada years ago.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

2011 Oscar Nominations

Best Picture

Black Swan - I've heard this is really good and that Portman is outstanding. Did I mention that college taught me to hate dancers? They are banana clip wearing prima donnas who can't be bothered to build their own sets or sell their own tickets and think costumes grow on trees.  Brats. I hear this is also about mental illness, so I am assuming this is a dance documentary.

The Fighter -  Poor Irish kids in a Boston suburb turn to boxing and meth sales to support their birth control echewing families.

Inception -  Leo Dicaprio and a green screen team up to fight crime.,

The Kids Are All Right  - Gay parents raise children that are just as douchebaggy/conflicted/over praised as het parents!

The King's Speech - The King has a speech impediment and goes to a speech pathologist. Prevails over speech impediment and Nazism. (will win)

127 Hours - Male  hiker cuts off own arm before he asks for directions.

The Social Network - Facebook inventors learn about privacy settings the hard way. (will win for Director)

Toy Story 3 -  You grow up and put the toys away and it makes the toys sad or not.

True Grit - Cowboys shoot each other and beat on a child who kills one of them and grows up to be more of a man than any of them. (Best Adapted Screen play)

Winter's Bone - A girl goes and searches for her scum bag meth addict father so he can help them not lose the meth house they call home.

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale, The Fighter - I really liked him as a child actor. He is now a douchebag.
John Hawkes, Winter's Bone - The run away meth addict or one of his kids.
Jeremy Renner, The Town  - Not actually something they put together as a show within the show for Entourage.
Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right  - The all right sperm behind the all right kids. (If he wins, Benning won't)
Geoffery Rush, The King's Speech - A lot nicer than Henry Higgens

Best Supporting Actress

Amy Adams, The Fighter -  She just won, she needs to sit out a year.
Helena Bonham Carter, The King's Speech - The dress she wore to the Golden Globes was offensive.
Melissa Leo, The Fighter - Totally cornered the market on White Trash women.
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit - Killed the bad guy, kicked butt, did not die at the end. (will win - its her first time out and she's a child.A BSA shoe-in)
Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom - No idea at all. Don't know why she's here, assuming as sop to snobby New York Times  movie reviewers who are the only people who have seen this film.

Best Actor

Javier Bardem, Biutiful - Title miss-spelled, out of running.
Jeff Bridges, True Grit - Just won this last year, good for him though.
Jessie Eisenberg, The Social Network - He's hosting SNL this weekend.
Colin Firth, The King's Speech - Good chance he's going to win, the Academy loves a good handicap and really loves films about defeating Nazis.
James Franco, 127 Hours - I feel like this guy has been doing the  worlds longest Performance Art piece of all time. Stop all ready. He wants a Day Time Emmy and an Oscar?

Best Actress

Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right - Look! Look I'm acting! See! Still!
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole - Too much botox, can't even looked grieved.
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter's Bone - The Meth addicts daughter.
Natalie Portman, Black Swan - Probably going to win.
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine - Really? She plays a sad, put upon woman who suffers for love? Really? Again.

Best Director

Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan - Will get profuse thanks from very pregnant Natalie Portman
David O. Russell, The Fighter - Academy will send him a fruit basket for not killing Christian Bale.
Tom Hooper, The King's Speech  Film will win for Best Picture .
David Fincher, The Social Network - Will win.
Joel Coen/Ethan Coen, True Grit - Will win best adapted screen play.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Hop, hop

They teased us with snow but  now are planning on tormenting us with rain. Forty degrees and three days of rain, I can hardly wait. Oh to be cold and wet! And to be cold and wet at 5:30 am is a treat beyond measure, on the upside, Dogger doesn't care for the cold and wet anymore than I do so our morning walk is more like a morning pit stop as she much prefers a quick turn around the front yard to a slog around the block.

A few minutes ago she wanted to play tug of war with a pen,  she was all Ohhhh! Look what I have! Is this something of yours? Do you want it back? I don't want to give it back! I've got your thing, I've got your thing! She was so proud of herself but  I really didn't want to have this fight with her, one because I didn't want her to swallow sharp pieces of shattered pen or to be some kind of dog contrarian and  develop a taste for them, because that could not  possibly be good of  for her or there would be a dog food that came with tiny pieces of shattered plastic all ready, oh wait, they did that all ready and it killed dogs.

 I can't imagine that ink is something the vet wants her to have and there is the matter of the ink that she wouldn't manage to ingest that would get all over the carpet - through hard work and determination and luck,  the stains on the carpet thus far have been to limited to earth tones, I really don't want to have to deal with ink.

I think it might be time to cut back on her glucosamine. I  don't want her know know this but it secretly makes me happy to see her race around and be so energetic, for the first ninety-seconds then I have to grab her collar and tell her to stop and explain to her what is really fun is laying on the carpet and playing with her bone. If she doesn't remember what happens when she jumps around, I certainly do.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The first step

Have you ever messed up something on the stove so thoroughly that you felt the need to apologize to the pan you used? Wow.

The potato Gawds smiled one me again! After a number of conversations with the barrel guy I finally picked mine up. I had my doubts about finding the place as the original directions were wrong, thank you barrel guy! Where I was confused, Mr. GPS plowed straight through and decided that barrel guy had misspoke himself and plotted a map to where he most likely really lived. Tada! It wasn't "Wake" something it was "Lake" something!

It was off the map though. I had no idea that there was so much there out there and it went on and on and on and I started to wonder how much I really need this barrel. I was afraid I was entering the realm of rest stops and if I should be have brought something to drink with me.

I had worried that I was going to drive off the end of the world and once there I was going to end up married off to some redneck while the soundtrack to Deliverance played in the background. I mean any directions that have the words "next to the double wide" and "turn right at the double wide" do not bode well. Too many double wides, too few witnesses.

As it ended up there were no forced marriages and no rednecks. I drove up to the address and per intructions, called the barrel guy and he said to  just leave the money under the rock on the porch. You know you are way, way out of your element when you are directed to just leave the cash on the porch and then you do it.

I had brought Dogger with me, as protection and company and she was not sure what to do with this new passenger in the car. She looked at me a little funny but she seemed okay with it, I think she was just happy she didn't have to ride in the front with me - which she might have had to if I had brought more money with me because he has some very nice barrels, it made me think Maybe I could plant more potatoes! Different varieties! What else could I plant in a barrel? But, I had money for the one and that was all. Its about portion control.

Isn't it pretty? I'm not sure if the picture does it justice, but that's 60 gallons of  potato growing joy. I lurve it! I lurve it so much I totally forgive it for making my car and basement  reek of smell like pickles. Now I have to decide if I'm going to cut it in half or just cut the bottom off and then where is it going to go? On the side of the house? in the garden itself?  What kind of potatoes am I going to plant? Do I want another one?

Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday Cat Blogging

I'm a bird! I'm a bird! I'm a bird!
Thinking Ahead

I grudgingly went to my County Executive Committee meeting. What is it about getting people in groups that makes it permissible to waste their time? I don't mind other people having control over my time but I object strenuously to having that time wasted. If I'm giving you two full hours of my free time I suggest you pretend that my billing rate is impressive.

Anyway. It wasn't a total loss. I got to see something I don't get to see often enough : Angry Democrats. Democrats that are tired of the status quo and getting beat by cretins who can't spell. Sadly, we had to be told that we need to Stop whining! Stop apologizing! and Stop bringing position papers to gun fights!

Keep it simple, Stupid! We need to keep the message short and sweet. We good , they bad. We help, they hurt. Its not "stooping to their level" to call a liar a liar or to call a Tea Partier a Tea Partier. And if you suggest that all tea partiers are dangerous racists who support violent over through of the government, well, again, not lying. I think that the next time a Democrat runs for Wake County school board that they need to find out how much George Wallace's'' estate charges for that quote. Very simple ads, If the Republicans get this seat... insert quote Vote Democrat, vote Blah Blah . Now it doesn't have to be mentioned that George Wallace was at that time a Democrat. Hell, I'd run that quote for every race, over and over, I don't care if the guy is running for Dog Catcher. Fear not facts, wins elections. I know my neighbors and rainbows and unicorns and position papers and group hugs bore them. It takes fear to get them off their couches. They don't go to the polls unless they are scared not to.

Its time to stop with the politics of constant apologies and long winded explanations and sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and appeasement and holding hands and talking about how much we love and admire our Republican brothers and how much in common with have them except  for, fill-in-the-blank. The Republican party is dead, Sarah Palin shot it from a helicopter. The Democrats need to stop trying to win going By The Book, because  Gawd knows the average Tea Partier doesn't read books and he doesn't have to try to win.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Eyes on the Prizes

I think I should have moved up to three miles before I did because it doesn't hurt at all and I especially should have introduced the Ipod, way, way before now! Wow, does it make the whole thing just flow so much better.  Still, three weeks at three before I move up though, no pain? no pain!

Post tax refund it might be time to start trying to track down a remanufactured Ipod of  later model than my mine. Mine is old and tiny and all it does it play music and I think the battery is beginning to fail after three years. The new  car after all, can play my Ipod and it might be nice to have a nicer one  for it to play with. I just have to decide if I want a fancier Ipod more than I want a pawn shop garden tiller... I can have one but not both.

I would like the Ipod but it might just end up costing me more in the long run because you want to put stuff on your Ipod and stuff costs. The garden tiller on the other hand, I would have to put gas in the few times a year it got used - But, it would only get used a few times a year and an Ipod I would presumably use a lot more - But, a garden tiller would be very useful and last longer - But, a garden tiller,  even used tiller can be really expensive and an Ipod, even a new one would cost less...

I'm all ready spending money I don't have yet. I'm on a spending diet as well and I think about  things I could buy and little else. It does not help that bad, naughty food stuffs are among the things I could buy, if I could buy things. Which I can't . I would feel better if I had all my tax stuff in hand because than I could file and then I could get my refund and stop all forms of dieting... Not that I would of course, because not spending money is an achievable goal, much easier than not getting fat.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Greening up

I need to wash Dogger more frequently. She went into the tub a retriever mix, post bath blow out, she had morphed into a chow mix.

This weekend was very successful. Three days make such a difference! If I had three days to get everything done, I wouldn't have everything sitting around to be done. I got all my laundry done, I put all the laundry including the laundry that had been sitting around on the bench waiting to be put away, put away, I made dog cookies, did many loads of dishes and slept late every day. And I started my gardening, a few months late. I finally re-potted my poor, pot-bound raspberries! I'm sure they'll punish me this season for my lack of attention, but next year they will be so happy they have such nice, big pots to live in and hopefully they will reward me with berries. Or I'll just toddle back to the nursery and buy new ones.

I also discovered that whole wheat pasta is okay, it tastes like non-whole wheat pasta and after its cooked, it loses its too brownness that had been a real turn off until I read an article in my Real Simple and it said that wheat pastas are very healthy. I like healthy and I like pasta, perhaps too much, so eating pasta that is at least not bad for me is a win. In addition to everything else I did, I also made some killer baked spaghetti.

Oh, the Potato Gawds smiled on me! I had been putting serious thought to growing potatoes in a barrel this year and had been looking through seed catalogues at the 10,000 different potato varieties available and doing research into what grows here the best and then all the 10,001 things that can go wrong with potatoes once planted - but before I can move forward I needed a barrel first.

Online it suggested 30 gallon garbage bins, which is a good idea and possibility and there is certainly no lack of choices available but they are kind of expensive choices. A nice one can run more than I want to spend on this experiment - perhaps next year, if it works this year but I don't want to pour a lot of money and time into it so I can end up in the fall with 30 gallons of dirt. I have failed before.

A few years ago I read somewhere that it was possible to grow potatoes in garbage bags. You put your seed potatoes into the bag, (not all potatoes are good for this - El shock-o) filled it with dirt and waited. Wow I thought, I can do that! I could do that. I plopped some potatoes into a bag and covered them with dirt and waited for the pay off.

I don't remember if they even sprouted, or if I even waited long enough for them to do anything. I got no potatoes. The not-really-seed potatoes had even disappeared. It was not a heartening experience. I stopped growing potatoes.

But then. I saw an article on growing potatoes in barrels and decided to try again. I needed a barrel. Did you know that barrels are expensive and if they are not expensive, they probably are not "food quality" barrels. its important that they be food quality if you want to eat whatever comes out of them - and those run you. I did a search and got a little bit unexcited about the potato idea and then I remembered; Craigslist!

Among the ads for barrel racing saddles and barrel racing horses, and barrels that were filled with things you can't eat - I found actual barrels - food quality, 60 gallon barrels - $5! Outrageous! The next issue was contacting Mr. Barrel seller. I emailed and waited. I wanted to pick up my barrel over the long weekend. I heard nothing. I emailed again.


I finally called the barrel tease. Nothing.

I called him from work on Monday and actually reached the tease. I said I've been trying to reach you about getting a barrel from you He said - "You have?"

Deep breaths.

And then he gave me directions. I wouldn't say he lives in BFE because BFE is closer to town. The sticks, beyond the beyond? out in the middle of nowhere? hell? He claims he lives in Garner! Does anyone know where Four Oaks is? The directions include "turn left at the mail boxes and look for the paved driveway" I could almost hear the banjos in the background. But a barrel will be coming home with me.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

All the way home made

I do not think I am going to be known for the quality of  my pie crust. I don't think that the ideal home made crust should have a metallic after taste or cause a frantic compulsion to rinse your mouth and brush your teeth. Thoroughly.

I looked for a sell by date on my Crisco but I couldn't find one. Does grease go  bad? It could have also been a problem that I don't have a pastry cutter, my recipe called for a pastry cutter and I don't have one but I do have two metal spatulas. You get your dough into pea sized balls your way I'll get mine in my own way.Mu one spatula is sharp enough to be a weapon, I didn't know this before I started and in the future if I want to go for a walk,I think I will leave the dog behind and just pack my spatula. Dick around with me and not only will I cut you into manageable pieces and then I will flip you over as well.

In my defence, the crust looked lovely.

After dinner I was still hungry, I tried all the old standbys to distract myself and while that worked for a while, I was still needy. I decided what I really wanted was a childhood treat and I also decided that I was not going to store to buy it. I made dog cookies earlier in the day and I was pretty sure I had what I needed to make pie crust.

I had flour, milk, butter, sugar - All the usual suspects, and now I just had to track down a recipe. I only have a couple of dozen cookbooks, at least one should have a recipe. "Pie Crust" is not listed - what is listed is variations in how many layers you want. Pain in the ass cook book writers.

I found one. Pie crust doesn't require milk, butter or sugar. It wants flour and shortening and water. I knew I had at least two of those. The shortening took a little longer and required some searching through my larder. I think the Crisco is where I think my problems started. The flour and water I would swear by. I think the lack of a sell by date on the can of grease could be a problem.

I think now I know why my Mother and I and everyone else I know buy the stuff premade at the store. It lacks a certain metalic aftertaste.

I am still hungry.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

2011 Golden Globes Results

(In no disconcernable order whatsoever)

Christian Bale - Best  Supporting Actor Motion Picture, Drama, The Fighter.

Best Actress TV Series Drama - Katie Segal, Sons of Anarchy

Best Mini-Series or TV Movie - Carlos

Best Male Supporting Actor in a TV Drama - Chris Colfert, Glee

Best Male Actor in a TV Drama - Steve Buscemi (sp) Boardwalk Empire

Best TV Drama - Boardwalk Empire

Best Original Song Motion Picture - You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me, Burlesque

Best Original Score - Trent Rezner, Atticus Ross, The Social Network

Best Animated Feature Film  - Toy Story 3

Best Actress in a Motion Picture. Comedy or Musical - Annette Benning, The Kids are All Right

Best Actor Mini-Series or TV Movie - Al Pacino, You Don't Know Jack

Best Actress Mini-Series or TV Movie - Claire Danes, Temple Grande

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture - Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Supporting Actress, TV Comedy or Drama - Jane Lynch, Glee

Best Foreign Language Film - In a Better World, Denmark

Best Actress in a TV Comedy or Musical - Laura Linny, The Big C

Best Actor in a TV Comedy or Musical - Jeff Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture - Melissa Leo, The Fighter

Best Director, Motion Picture - David Fincher, The Social Network

January Jones Dress is awful.

Best TV series Comedy or Musical - Glee

Best Actor Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical - Paul Giomotti, Barneys Version

Best Actress Motion Picture Drama - Natilie Portman, Black Swan

Best Motion Picture Comedy or Musical - The Kids are All Right

The audience is getting really loud.

Best Actor Motion Picture, Drama - Colin Firth, The Kings Speech

Best Motion Picture Drama - The Social Network

Friday, January 14, 2011

Friday Cat Blogging


I blame my nap on the cat. It was totally his fault. I had nothing to do with it, I was going to briefly relax after dinner, take a load off after work and watch a little L&O and that was it. I was going to get up, do my two miles and get my stuff done.

And then the cat jumped into my lap and I was done - d-o-n-e. The next thing I knew it was much, much later than it should have been - I couldn't move! He had trapped me on the chaise! He was all stretched out and warm and he is very long - properly stretched out he's a good, five, six feet long, he's like some sort of elasticat! On all fours he's only thirteen inches tall! He's tiny. He's would not let me get up.

So. Everything gets re-scheduled. I'm not happy, Dogger is probably not going to get a proper third walk, but she got a longer than usual 5pm walk so it might all even out. Its really cold outside anyway so maybe I'm not heart  broken about a quick tour of the front yard instead. I still have to put the whole manatee outfit on but I only have to wear it for a short time.

While I was napping, I had a chance to think about the layout of the garden - Really? What do you think about while you're dozing off? I took a look at the garden space itself and it was a small as I remembered it being. It has not grown. I'm using pole beans this time around and they need to climb. I could use my backyard fence because it borders the garden on tow sides, but, I have existing growth on the fence as it stands and I don't know how I would coax the young beans to find the fence, its there but its not in the garden itself. My other option is to repurpose tomato cages and just plant the beans around them have them grow on those. I also have to think about where the potato barrel is going to live.

I'm also having thoughts about maybe not using the soaker hoses this year and instead going with a sprinkler instead and seeing if the plants like it better or if they suffer from having wet foliage. . Hmm. That seems to be a lot of thoughts, I must have slept for a while.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Cold Snapping

Dogger is trying very hard to make me feel bad.

She wants to go for a walk right now. I do not want to go for a walk right now. I'm warmish right now and if I go for a walk I will become cold and no ish about it. I would rather stay inside where my afghan lives. Besides, when I am outside and swathed in layers of layers, I can't see, I can barely hear and I look like a manatee.

I like to spend as little time as a manatee as I can so I am not going to take Dogger for a walk right now. I will take her for a walk but not right now - soon, most likely within the next hour but right now I would rather not. I will have to start getting dressed right now and it takes a while to get fully outfitted for a trip outside.

First I put on my first layer muffler, then my coat - the big one the full length down filled one, not the relatively lighter weight, hip length ski parka one,I save that for "warm" days.  Then I put on my fur lined aviator hat, its a designer job I got at a discount place because it was cut incorrectly and it makes the wearer look like a chipmunk with half a case of mumps - Bred by Pierre Cardin, no less. A mumps infected chipmunk with warm ears but a chipmunk with half a case of monks. Not adorable.

Then I apply my outer layer muffler, this I wrap around face as so protect my  exposed nose and chin, sometimes this layer makes me nauseous - but I would rather be queasy than cold. Then I button the button at the bottom of the coat then I put on my micro-fleece gloves then I fetch the dog - who at this point must also function as a seeing eye dog as I can not turn my head and I can pretty much only through the narrow band not covered by a  scarf. I think I look like the Michelin Mans' frumpy old aunt or a fat manatee. I don't think manatees wear scarfs. But if they did, I would look like one.

I think what I really want though is one of those bank robber ski-mask things. Those look very warm, but the question is, do you wear your glasses over or under the mask? I fear a high potential for smudges or even more annoying, would it makes my glasses fog up? I hate that.

All of this in addition to my street clothes and the layering there in plus I have a pair of ski pants that take the place of sweat pants for around the house lounge wear this time of year. I'm sure there are easier ways to accomplish not freezing to death but I have very thin blood and I do not tolerate this weather at all well.  At night I sleep in so many layers and under such heavy blankets that I have had to lay down the law about liquids after 9pm! 

Dogger finally gave up on her whining. She has retreated to her futon where she is practicing looking pathetic and unloved while my back is turned. It would be more believable if she wasn't  trying to look unloved while rehearsing on sheets with higher thread count than I have on my own bed.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Ice sucks

I feel so dirty! I'm sitting here watching Fashion Police and it isn't even an after award show special! Its just a regular episode. I blame the cold for this, if I could find my remote in this blanket nest I would totally be watching something educational, like Holmes on Homes .

Speaking of dirt, the seed catalogues have landed. Thanks to Alphagal I spent several hours on Sunday  in warm, sunny, lovely June, surrounded by beautiful blooms and successful, super productive vegetable plants. It was heaven and after spending an afternoon with floral porn, fancy inpatients! I'm going to end up with enough plants to landscape my house, the neighbors house and probably my Mom and Dads as well. Good for me I say! I like flowers.

With the front of the house taken care of, my thoughts turned to the backyard. I think this year I am going to make some changes to the garden : I don't want to grow things I don't want to eat. Period. Which means goodbye tomatoes and hello other members of the nightshade family. I'm going to plant peppers and a selection of  vine growing beans and peas - which means there are going to have to be  making some literal changes to the space - I grew bush beans last year and while they were moderately successful, they didn't produce as much as pole beans so this year I'm changing things. I'm looking to utilize the space above the ground, the gardens loft! I'm thinking of construction projects.

Among the structural changes to Garden 2011, are the inclusion of a new friend, the potato!  These new friends are going to be wacky neighbors! These guys are going to be grown near but not in the garden! The potatoes are going to be grown avec garden, potatoes are going to be grown in a barrel! Very haute gardening! I know, I know a few years ago I tried to grow potatoes in a bag - this was a bad idea, it didn't work and it was disappointing but barrels on the other hand are an excellent idea! I can't wait!

Lets go spring!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Big One

We have been warned and now we are waiting. We have been told at least twice a day for the last four days that there is a very good chance that "we all gon' die". There has been more build up for this weather event than there has been for hurricanes. They are forecasting less than an inch of snow accumulation ,Its not the snow its the ice.

We were told this was all going to start at 4pm, and it would be the end of the world as we know it. I left work to very light flurries. I went to the store in solidarity with my peers and then I went home to quickly walk Dogger, hopeing she would not be too freaked out by the falling snow.

And then I waited. I am still waiting.

Two inches of ice is what they have threatened us with, on top of whatever snow falls. They have told us that we are going to lose power and that it will be days before we can leave our homes. The thing is, they keep crying wolf and thus far all that has happened is that instead of the wolf at the door we've been visited by a Schnauzer. A Miniature Schnauzer. Woof. I'm having a very hard time taking this whole thing seriously, despite the flurry of warnings I've been  helpfully texted by The Weather Channel. I have every intention of being at work Tuesday morning.

It started snowing, other places. It snowed north, it snowed south, it has not snowed here. Not that stuck and so we wait. We've been waiting, and waiting and waiting since they began to scare us early last week. I don't think this is much a case of severe weather as it is bet among the local weather people to see who can win the coveted crown of King of the Panic Merchants. I went to the grocery store after work, a clear case of second hand panic, and while there was some "we all gon' die" buying going on it wasn't a mad house and there was plenty of milk and bread to be had - a sure sign that the end times aren't on the way.

So why are we panicking? We're tired from the holidays and we don't want to go to work and what we really want to do is to stay home in our jammies and drink hot chocolate and watch our Netflix movies and its freak out over this or become much better actors and fake sickness. We aren't very good actors.

Monday, January 10, 2011


All of my Christmas decos inside and out, are packed up, boxed up and upstairs in the attic for the season. All. Of. Them .

Friday after work, before I even unlocked the house I was taking down the outside lights and organizing the extension cords and timer and getting the air blown unmoored, then I went in the house dragged out all my boxes- kudos to me by the way, for efficiently not putting them back in the attic at the start of the season, it wasn't because I was too lazy to put them back, it was because I was being proactive about getting them back into their boxes at the end of the season - There is no way I would have gotten the job done as quickly as I did if I  had had to drag them out of the attic and hump them downstairs after work.

The way it worked out I had all the outside of the house stripped and the decos carefully put back in their boxes and labeled by 5:30! Then I took Dogger for a walk fed her and started on the inside stuff.

That took longer, a lot longer,because there is so much more of it and its spread all over the house and falls into so many different categories of stuff that needs to be kept together but aren't necessarily displayed together; but  even with all that, I had everything put away and labeled except the tree by 10pm and by 1pm on Saturday I had that chore completed as well and after that, I made 478 trips up the stairs with heavy boxes. I'm counting it  as cross training.

My other chore on Saturday was to get my car looked at by the dealership. My new car. On the way home after New Years I was driving down the highway at speed and out of nowhere I began to hear a sound on the roof that was alarming. It sounded like an enormous bird had become stuck to the roof of the car and was now wildly but uselessly, flapping its wings to free itself. I wanted to pull over and at least take a picture of the bird, because I wasn't going to try to mess with a terrified, probably injured enormous bird under any circumstances.  I did think it was odd that of the many, many cars passing me on the road as all this was happening, that none of them made a move to try to alert me to the enormous, angry bird adhered to the roof of my car.

Maybe they thought I was a hunter,  so perhaps they assumed I all ready knew about the bird and its status -  I'm not sure that Honda makes a hunters package for the Element, because they surely would be a Hunting package available for the car. Honda loves its packages... I see some sort of tie down system and built up bumper and built in coolers and fancy drains in the back. Anyway, I don't think many middle aged Element driving women do a lot of hunting and even if we did, I don't think we would tie down half dead enormous birds on the roves of our cars. But I digress. I soon learned that I did not in fact have an enormous bird in its death throes adhered to the roof of my car, instead I had a strip of rubber that came lose from my windshield banging away on the roof of my car. I would have perhaps preferred the dieing bird to the piece of rubber.

I got up early and dutifully showed up for my service appointment. I had explained to the service department earlier in the week the nature of my problem and they made an appointment for me to bring it in, which told me that this was an issue they could handle - a piece of rubber town lose from the windshield and the need for it to be fixed. Simple.

No. They "don't do glass". I said the glass was fine, they still said no. The glass may have to be removed and they "don't do glass", I have to take it somewhere else. I don't want to find some random window repair place. The car is under a one year 100% warranty. I don't have to do anything else with it, if it has an issue, they can take it someplace else. Monday morning I speak with the service manager.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Friday Cat Blogging

Food for thought

The cat and dog can not occupy the same bed at the same time. Dogger takes the term "dog bed" far too  seriously and the cat fails to see the difference between one soft place and another. They can however, share the futon but I am pretty sure the cat pays some sort of toll.

I was very proud of me Wednesday night. I took a hunk of frozen ground chicken and a lump of frozen  pepper slices and a half a bag of Poverty Barn glass noodles and some cumin and some garlic and some rosemary and eventually turned them into chicken soup. It started out as a stir fry and  then kind of changed genres.

I could have made a turkey burger out of the meat but frankly, that just now occurred me. That would have been so easy! I could have chopped up the peppers, added them to the turkey and made it on my George Forman. Damn, that would have been really good and easier than the soup and I wouldn't now have as much left over ground meat and glass noodles as I do. I had no idea that glass noodles are quite as elastic as they turned out to be. They were like  coat hangers in the closet. I put in a handful of noodles and five seconds later I had a pile of noodles. Lots and lots of noodles and then even after I ate some, they kept multiplying! I felt some trepidation when I opened my refrigerator this afternoon, fearing some sort of noodle hive, but fortunately the cold seemed to have some sort of sedative effect on them. Thank gawd but now I'm afraid to take them out of the fridge lest they  take over the house.

Speaking of food, I was in the parking lot of a Burger Yucky and despite the fact they have my very favorite fast food chicken sandwich two-for-one, I did not partake! I took care of my business while at the same time walking past 75% off Christmas candy and went back to campus and ate a protean bar and only a protean bar for lunch okay, and some green tea but it was sweetened with fake sugar.

But then I came home and made cheese sauce and rice for dinner and I doubt it would be a contender at a weight watchers buffet. It was really good though and I did use low fat milk in the sause.

Thursday, January 6, 2011


Yes, raising the seat helped. Tuesday morning I took Dogger for  her morning walk. It was cold and dark and very quite. For a about a block and then I turned the corner and it was not dark or quite anymore.

I watched the lights and tried to count cop cars. If it had been lighter I could have done a census of the firetrucks - In the dark all I could get was "many". I walked a little further down and tried to get up the nerve to go bother one of the cop cars, good news for me, another cop car chugged up . He wasn't nearly as scary and he was closer, no worries about traffic, the street was blocked at both ends.

I asked the cop what happened. He ignored me. I asked him again and He finally stopped gossiping with the other cop and told me "Just a fire" , just a fire? I asked because the flotilla of emergency vehicles didn't say "just a" anything to me, "Yup.Just a fire".

I didn't ask what had just burned, it was very early and I figured I could rubber neck later when it was lighter. I went to work and looked online and shockingly, the local media had also noticed the lights and sirens.

The news report

I went back later and rubbernecked, but not much. The lesson here is if you think a building is kind of funky and might be neat to photograph, carpe funky building!  Because it is not as neat to photograph after it burns.

I was always too afraid to go there to take its picture before, too many scary people around. No scary people now. I do hope they get rid of the hulk before the rats and less cute two legged vermin take over. The only thing more ugly than an abandoned building - ten months? I had no clue, it looked the same open for business as it did abandoned - the only thing uglier then an a boarded  up building is a burned out, boarded up building. I think I'll start calling the city in the morning.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Prepare ye the way of the...

Day 3.The exerbikes' seat is incredibly uncomfortable. I'm going to save up  my shekels and see about getting a replacement seat, perhaps one down-filled? I'll have to get something better or risk developing calluses where no calluses should be. On the up-side it has led me to find that my own seat is  significantly less well padded then I thought,  Score!

I also learned that it helps some to be distracted from my task. In this case I played with my phone. It does make the first half mile go a little faster though and that's always a nice start, I also distracted myself with  trying to keep myself and a  couch pillow balanced on the exerbike seat. It was a challenge. It also illuminated the idea that I might want to raise the seat a bit. I did so and will see tomorrow if it improves the experience.

I would rather watch TV then try to read while on my highway to hell but the peddling makes so much noise that I would have to have the TV volume up to high for  my delicate senses, it would also make Dogger and Boy Cat wild and they are all ready a little concerned by the exerbike being used rather  than a dust catcher slash cat toy. If it was a very expensive exerbike it would have quite peddling  and a comfy seat and somewhere to balance a book - but it wasn't. It was a $25, 5th hand buy from a  second string resale store so I gets whats I paid for and I did not pay for comfort or ease of use. I paid for basic functionality and I got it .

I turned off my outside lights tonight. I noticed I was the last one on the block with them still burning and I decided to give in to the peer pressure and unplug the display. I still have all the inside decos perking along, but I haven't turned my tree or the mantel on in days and have no plans to do so. I need to start the step-down process. It makes it much easier to take the tree down if it  doesn't look like a giant jewel and everything around it basks in the reflected glory and just shines, no matter what it looks like the rest of the year; and nothing makes a creaky, Eames era, plug in fireplace look like the real thing like stockings... for a few weeks a year I get to live in a Christmas card.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2 More

If you peddle harder you are traveling faster but you don't get there any sooner. I was absolutely sure that I was veryclose to the end and in reality I had barely started. It was sad making. Also the seat of the exerbike is very uncomfortable.

On the upside to all this discomfort,  I was warm for the first time since I came home from work. While it was colder outside I wasn't running the heat as much but I dressed accordingly,I looked like a "before" picture but I was toasty - now its warmer and I can run the heat more liberally - the heat pump runs much better when its warm-er. 40 and above its a worker bee - of course, who needs the heat on full blast when its not that cold outside? I want heat when its 19! It was very warm over the weekend and now I am spoiled. Today it was significantly less warm and it hurt my feelings. I also was dressed for warmer weather and now I'm cold.

While I was warming myself over my burning calories, I noticed that there was yarn in the gears of the bike. I don't knit and I think Dogger is more into cross stitch. We shouldn't have a lot of yarn gumming up our lives. I finally finished the endless ride and began to get the yarn out. It wasn't doing anything to the works but once I knew that its was there, I have to remove it and I blamed it for all my troubles. I can't imagine what was yarn-y and what it would be doing on the exerbike, I don't use it as a clothes hanger and Dogger travels pretty light and I don't think anything in her wardrobe is knit. I looked close at Boy Cat, but he has even fewer things than Dogger and I don't think he likes knits, he's much more into micro-fleece.

If Dogger doesn't like me to use her futon she really doesn't like me to use her dog bed. I utilized it as a base of operations as I cleaned out the exerbike gear. She was really put out, fortunately, its my house and everything in it belongs to me so I was able to overcome her attempts to make me feel like a bed napper. It didn't take very long to get it out and by the last piece I figured out that it was not vestiges of a sweater, it was part of the carpet the exerbike sits on. The rug isn't "finished" and a corner of it unravelled got caught in the gears. I suspect that Boy Cat had something to do with this.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Day 1

Damn is it over all ready? Because I was getting used to all the shiny. July is nice but it suffers from a dire lack of sparkles.

I decided I needed to have resolutions. I decided that I need to get more exercise, I was riding my bike at lunch for months and months but then the bike began to have issues and I couldn't ride it and then I got a replacement bike and then it had issues and then my bike pump was a piece of shit and I had to get a new one and then it got cold and I took the bike out of the car and never put it back and still has issues...

So. Two miles a day on the exerbike. Two miles? you say , way to push yourself Lancette, you are a such an inspiration! Fuck off.  I didn't just pull it out of the air. One mile isn't really much of a push, even for me and three miles is more than I want to do, again, FU, so two miles was the winning distance. Its better than the no miles I'm rocking now. I do hope to be back to riding my bike at lunch soon and I will do the two miles on the exerbike as well.

Its also really, really hard to sit in the car and eat a protean bar when its so cold. Its just not a good thing and its great when I can sit in the car with my book and a bar but I'm not going to torment myself - I all ready do that at home. I like being warm, I can sit in the warmth at McDonald's with my book, and get a Happy Meal instead of a value meal. Every little bit helps. The summer is coming and it will be warmer.

First bike ride.

I need to move the bike. This would be better if I could watch TV

I should have brought my phone.

reset the tension so I was not riding the bike through wet sand

The top  shelf of the desk is really dusty.

dust does move when huffed on. Dust does not move when rubbed off

Visualizing peddling away from here.

Am I there yet?


Peddle, peddle, peddle

Is there something wrong with the tachometer thingy?

peddle, peddle, peddle


This seat is really uncomfortable. Is my ass too big or is the saddle too small?

Vow to check into replacement seats for exerbike.

peddle, peddle,peddle

The dog is really concerned. The bike is loud and she really, really wants to sleep. The cat  is looking at me as if I am hogging the bike. He can't reach the peddles anyway.

peddle, peddle, peddle


Chose to go my mileage instead of time because, because there isn't a clock I can see from here.

The dog is very concerned. The cat is trying to find someone to make me get off the bike. Cat forgets I live by myself.


peddle, peddle, peddle

My legs hurt!

peddle, peddle, peddle!


I am a exersice rock star.

Saturday, January 1, 2011