Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Tuesday Night

I got the house cleaned up, the dogs linens changed and my laundry put away. My parents are here for the night and I am temporary guardian of their wicked little cat. I just ate a an aquarium's worth of fried seafood. Life is good.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Working Out

I am so lame. I stayed up a little bit past my bedtime  last night watching the Oscars (tm) and I spent the entire day today propping my eyelids open. When I was twenty I wouldn't even leave the house until 11pm and now I can barely stay up to then. Being old sucks.

My parents are coming tomorrow and instead of spending the  early part of the evening cleaning the place up and then going to bed early, I decided that what I really needed to do was to go to Big Lots and buy dirt.  So now I'm cleaning and vacuuming and putting away and its so much later than I would like. I am doing this while limping because I decided to get a pair of deeply discounted rocker sneakers and now I have a blister. My ass does not feel more shapely and I don't think my calves are toned, I don't think developing blisters was mentioned in the advertising. I'm pretty sure the only things I was supposed to develop according to the literature was my sexy. Blisters are not sexy.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

And the Oscar (tm) went to... Oscar (tm) Results 2012

 Start : 8:30 on the dot.

Art Effects - Hugo
Cinematography - Hugo
Costume Design - The Artist
Make Up - The Iron Lady
Best Foreign Language Film - A Seperation, Iran.
Best Supporting Actress - Octavia Spencer, The Help
Film Editing - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Sound Editing - Hugo
Sound Mixing - Hugo
Animated Feature - Rango
Visual Effects - Hugo
Documentory Feature - Undefeated
Best Supporting Actor - Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Best Orginal Score - The Artist
Best Original Song - "Man or Muppet", The Muppet Movie
Best Adapted Screenplay - Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash , The Descendents
(Jim Rash plays Dean  Pelton on Community)
Best Orignal Screenplay - Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Live Action Short Film - The Shore
Documentory Short - Saving Face
Animated Short Film - The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
Best Director - Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Best Actor -  Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Best Actress -  Meryle Streep, The Iron Lady
Best Picture -  The Artist

11:36pm last award presented.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Friday Cat Blogging

Small Cat wanted me to know that although he didn't know where I was going, that he was most certanly coming with.


In honor of lent I am absolutely going to put the bike back in the car and all ready there is nothing I want to eat in the house. I have had two lunches in a row of protean bar and tea in my car. While I haven't reached self-denial nirvana as yet, I know its out there. I am so going to move the exerbike back in front of the office TV very soon and as soon as I get the right cables, I am totally going to watch the How To Use This Big Giant Ball As A Work Out Tool DVD I haven't been able to watch yet.

On to a different thought process. You know what would really improve work productivity? Lap Cats! Each worker would be assigned a cat that would curl up in the workers lap and go off to sleep. The worker would be so happy with the sleeping cat that they wouldn't dare leave their seat for a non-work related purpose in fear of waking it up and losing the cat to another worker better able to stay at their desk. You might have to work hours before the cat would deem you a good nap risk and return to you. The kitty would purr every once in a while and have what ever dreams cats have and sometimes they would wake up and nuzzle the worker and all in all, the work day would be much better and much more productive and lower in stress, I would also guess there be less absenteeism because who wouldn't want to spend the day with a lap cat?

And see, they could all be adoptable as well! We could clean out the shelters of orphan cats and kittens! It would be a revolution! Lets say you really like one of the office lap cats and you want to  let it explore the career of couch cat? You could take it home with you! A new lap cat would be introduced and  the circle of life would go on! And if you have a bogus, made up "look at me I'm special!" cat allergy? You could get a lap turtle instead! Think of the  reptile joy! I see a lot of benefits to this, no downside at all. I think I'll start drafting a grant proposal immediately! Totally.

Tomorrow is by biannual review. I took a shower and washed my hair in preparation, I thought it would be good to have clean hair in advance of hearing my sins  categorized and rated by degree of incompetence. I think I'm going to have to bring Small Cat with me to work, I'm going to need a lap cat.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Being Good

I thought if I went to 7pm  Mass that I would be the minority and everyone else would have all ready gone earlier, they had Masses all day after all and there are so many churches around now. Yeah. The earlier masses must have gone begging because it looked like Christmas in there.

"Looked" being the operative word. I was outside with about a hundred other people, I didn't get inside the entry area until after the ashes - which they kindly sent a priest outside to give us. I had also thought that maybe the seven Mass would just be ashes. I was wrong.

I also had thought that a seven that there would be lots of parking. Do you know who else goes to Church Wednesday evening? Everyone and everyone has a church within shouting  distance of the Cathedral and everyone  at everyone else's church was at church. All ready. I had to park in hell.  I was going to make a crack about the Baptist skipping Ash Wednesday and having a  Mardi Gras pageant on Tuesday instead, but that would be wrong.

The long walk  was good for me, it was good for my soul, Lent is a season of self denial and penance.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Yay Wednesday!

Happy First Day of Lent 2012!!! Woooooooo!  Its Ash Wednesday Up In  Here! Woot Woot!

What? Not partying? not enjoying ones self?  Did you hit the self denial a little hard last night? I thought so. I hit the buffet table at China Panda pretty hard myself and I spent the day light hours of Fat Tuesday surrounded by donuts and fun-sized candy bars at my desk. I feel your pain and then I came home and went out to dinner and let me tell you, the protean coma I fell into after dinner was a bear. Once I regained conscience muddled through and I was able to bully the customer service drone at DirecTV into sending me a new receiver - the tech support douche bags didn't want to but I went over the heads and threw them under the bus, so thrrubbt to them.


Did you know people actually go to restaurants during the week? I thought I would be the only person there. I have no real experience with eating in restaurants on week days. In my world they are only open Friday and Saturdays and maybe, Sunday lunch. So imagine my surprise when not only was the place open, I wasn't alone and from what I could tell, most of the other people there weren't even on vacation! Weird.

My boss is at family funeral today, so should I skeeve off work for Mass? I men they have to let me go and I could be all kinds of pious and just keep going back all day if I wanted to. I bet Saniturm spends the whole damn day at Mass and I bet he bathes in ashes, just bathes in it. Totally against scripture to do so but I bet he does. Philistine. He's the type who "forgets" to wipe off the ashes and spends all day with it on so people know he went, because he's so observant. I wonder what he thought of Vatican II? I wouldn't be at all surprised if  he staged "illegal" underground Latin Masses for years. I bet he wears a scapular and  a hair shirt and still says nasty things about Romney's' Mormon underwear .

I want to know if he's as anti-Viagra as he he is anti-birth control?  If Gawd doesn't want you to have an erection, he is Sending You A Message, don't put yourself above Him by inverting in His plan for you. If he is all about Gods Plans for Us he must know that Viagra is wrong.

 I could go to seven something and be late to work? Noon something and take a long lunch, 5:30pm, lie say Mass is at 3:00 and go home early and hit the 5:30pm? I could also not skeeve at all and hit the 7pm? Or maybe, I'll just drive around and listen to Mass for Shut Ins on Sirius.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Baptism by Oil

I am two for two with frying. I fried again and did not burn down the house. Score.

AS promised I baptised the new frying pan with Chicken friend steak. I've always really liked but I've never known how one went about creating it. I was pretty much comfortable believing that they were created fully breaded from a restaurant. Shockingly, you can make them in your own kitchen. It does not require a commercial kitchen to make.

Stage 1 - Get a decent recipe. While I was thrilled to find Luby's recipe or something purporting to be Luby's recipe, I was not thrilled with the outcome. It was good, but next time I'll use a different recipe

Stage 2 - Let the oil heat up. It is not going to burn your house down if its hot enough to fry something. Truly, hot oil doesn't burn your house down, you screwing around with hot oil burns your house down. Fry your meat not your house. Not hot enough oil is a bad thing, its not supposed to be a lovely warm bath for your meat, its supposed to fry your meat.

Stage 3 - Pound that meat! Pound it! Pound it! I know have my very own meat pounder. I bought cube steak that while pre-tenderized and run through a machine, it still needed to be thinner to get the whole CFS effect.

Stage 4 - Learn how to bread. Flopping it around in flour isn't breading it. Do it right and it stays breaded, flop it around and you wind up with patches. Patches are bad.

All in all, I was pleased with this first effort. There was a lot of room for improvement but that just means I'm going to make it again. I love CFS so this is a win for me.




The next time I'm going to use this recipe , with a few tweaks. I'm going to pound the hell out of the meat - after I have done the intial breading, I saw that hint online somewhere and finally,  I'm going to let the oil heat up properly.

Monday, February 20, 2012


I had been happily blaming the satellite installation for causing my DVD problems. But then I started to think When was the last time I watched a DVD? Good question, the satellite provider changed on January 9 but I got the new TV the day after Thanksgiving. Could I have really not watched a DVD since before Thanksgiving? Really?

Could be. Christmas is a busy time and I was sick and going to be really early and by the time I was better it was January 9 . I don't think the satellite idiot is at fault. I think the TV is at fault. I immediately went to try to find my TV book, I have thirty different books for the satellite so where is my TV book?

I don't have a TV book. The TV  people were very happy to let me know that if I wanted that bad, wasteful, ungreen tree killer that I could just go online and print it out my own self. Have you ever printed out a manual? Yeah, I haven't either. I didn't think I would need to.

I need to, or really, I need to print out the section that explains how to properly hook my DVD player to my TV - which is where I think the problem lies. I don't think the satellite really cares about the DVD player at all.

I really thought I had maybe got the whole thing figured out because I was able to untangle a really awful mess of wires and cables and I thought this was going to be all enlightened but I wasn't, I did learn what those yellow and red wires do though - they seem to control the color of the image. I also found the very same looking plug ins on the side of the TV - this may be the enlightened part, but I'm still missing the one thing and I'm hopeing The Book will tell me and I can watch DVDs again. Netflix will be thrilled.

So, I went online and  I might have found it but it was taking forever to open the PDF file and desided that I will need to go online at work tomorrow instead. I can wait.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Friady Cat Blogging

Yay Friday!

I was casting about for something to do, something I didn't have to do and I decided that I wanted to go to Wallyworld, ebcause you know Wallyworld and so I set off down New Bern and about a quarter of the way there I realized I wasn't moving and none of the cars in front of me were either. I hadn't seen traffic like this since the Popeye's opened. It was then I saw the lights on the cop cars and I noticed how many of those there were. Lots. Lots and lots.

I looked for the tell tale puddles of blood or a vehicle destroyed beyond identification or a burned out building or any signs of violence and saw none. I was sitting in a endless traffic jam and no one was dead! I mean, really.

I wanted to go to Wallyworld because I wanted to get the fixings for Chicken Fried Steak. If you're in the market for a really cheap cut of meat you can't find a better market. You can't find the right kind of cheap meat at a real grocery because they have too much pride in their products to carry such shameful things.

But I never made it to Wallyworld, I made it to the signal and got out of line. I would really like to know what happened there. I'm thinking a gas leak from one of the gas stations at the intersection  bcause there were no ambulances and no signs of a wreak and nothing was on fire.

ANywa, it was for the best I didn't make it to Wallyworld, I don't have a recipe for CHS, I thought I did but when I looked I didn't have one. The one I really wanted was Luby's Cafeteria version, my favorite of all the CFS I've had and after 30 plus years in Texas, I have a had a lot of CFS.  I thought I had a recipe from a place in Austin that made a really good CFS but it's a nice place and while it makes a really good CFS, CFS can be too good. I'm not looking for designer CFS I just want chicken fried steak and I want Luby's.

And so I went looking, not really imagining I would find it and then I put "Luby's Cafeteria Chicken Fried Steak Recipe" and hit the mother load. Apparently, I am not the only person who lusted for The Recipe .

Hopefully, I'll be able to get to the Wallyworld.

In honor of That Stupid Holiday, I am posting a bonus Friday Cat Blogging!

Isn't he beautiful? My tiny valentine.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Technical difficulties

The Pekingese won? For real? I demand a recount!

I noticed the other day that  I have not watched a DVD since, oh, January 9th, which coincides with my new satellite provider moving to town.

I tried to watch a DVD and failed. After playing with the TV and finally reading the direction book, I can now control the DVD player with my satellite remote! What I can't do is watch a DVD.

I think the earnest young man who spent the better part of a day hooking up my system didn't hook up my components and Gawd knows I do not know  nothin' about hookin' up no components. It is not a part of my skill set. I will send up the Bro Sign and hope he can swoop in a fix it.

On the old provider I said "I want to watch a DVD" and I turned on the DVD player and I watched a DVD. It was simple. New satellite provider isn't as dedicated to simplicity as the old provided. Speaking of new provider, I just spent a long time on the phone with them to get a problem diagnosed and cured and I think it may have worked. The satellite kept losing signal, over and over again. It behaved as though the power was going out. I recognized that this was bad and I consulted my book wich directed me to press the red button. And I did, over and over again.

I was address the symptoms but not the cause. I finally called the number and told them about the problem. They gave me advice and suggestions. I unplugged a cable and replug it back in. The guy promised me this would fix it. And it did, for about twenty minutes.

I called back. Again, we unplugged the cable. Next we unplugged the box. This is where I think the initial problem stems from. The TV and box had been plugged into a power cord that was plugged into the wall. Now the power cord has nothing plugged into it and it is plugged into the extension cord I had used to plug in the Christmas tree. The guy on the phone suggested that I plug the box into the wall.

Done. Problem solved. The guy on the phone said if it happened again it was probably my TV. I told him it was not the TV and not-so-subtly blamed the guy who did the install. We agreed to disagree.

And then it did it again

When I have more time and perhaps an extra set of hands I'm going to plug both the TV and the box into the power cord and plug the cord into the wall. I have the same hook up with the computer and have never had a problem. Why would you plug an unused power cord into an extension cord and then use the extension cord as the power source for everything else?

I'm going to vacuum out behind the TV and the computer and get the cables figured out and try to get this stuff done correctly. And see if Broskey can make it so I can watch DVDs again.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Dog Show

You know what is kind of awesome? Pulmicort! Sure, it makes me a little nausea right after I take it but damn does it stop the cough! And I don't  actually throw up, I just kind of want to . Huge improvement.

I do have some cough left but its like regular person coughing! No dizziness or spots! Its like a miracle drug! Thank Gawd I got it for free because if I left it up to my insurance company I would just keep sucking on cough drops. Cheap bastards.

Dogger is watching the dog show and being very critical of the dogs. According to her all the dogs are "fat bitches" regardless of the dogs gender. She's being very hateful. She was sweet to the non-sporting and toy groups but I think she sences that she is related to a lot of the sporting breeds and she feels inadequate - so untrue by the way! If she wasn't chronically gun shy and adverse to swimming and uninterested in game, she would be a fantastic sporting dog.

Where is the Weim? They are outstanding sporting dogs! I mean I like cocker spaniels but is it necessary to have twenty-four different kinds? I've always heard that they are  high strung and hard to manage. Cute as all hell though.

Oh finally,  the Wiem was so pretty!  Our dog had a prettier face but wasn't as shiny or muscular as they are breeding them to be now but she had the best personality and was the sweetest dog. Well, the Weim didn't win but I bet he had the strongest character and does the most charity work.

I think Dogger might be more comfortable with the working breeds. They do the heavy lifting and I think Dogger is a spiritual sister to them if not actual kin.  Its the boxer and rot in her that are responsible for a big part of who she is. Yes, Dogger is all working dog. Strong, sweet, brave, ready to kick your ass. Thats my dog.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Watching The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show

They aren't kidding when they call this Awards Season! Golden Globes, SAG, Grammys, Westminster Dog Show!

I miss the dog park. It was like going to a dog show every day. Sigh. The thing that makes me the saddest about Dogger eventually going on is that unlike a say, a Golden Retriever, I'll never see another dog that looks like her. Its the curse of the mix breed. Of course, I grew up with a full blooded Weimaraner and I've never seen her twin either. She, like Dogger was one of a kind.

Did you know that Singleaire is too expensive for my insurance company to pay for?  See, if I could afford to buy my own meds, I wouldn't need insurance. The pharmacy shot it back to the doctor to try and talk BCBS into covering it. My regular doctor knows to order only generics.  At my regular doctors office there are no advertisements for hospice groups either, that was not the most uplifting thing I've ever encountered at a doctors office. It was also not helpful that  the man in the waiting room when I arrived, appeared to be dead.

I should get an Irish Wolfhound, all I would have to do is walk it around once or twice and I'm pretty sure I could get rid of my alarm. They kill wolves for a living, forget getting off the sidewalk to avoid us, I could evacuate neighborhoods with it.

Best hound should go to a hound not a dog like the Wire Haired Dachshunds. I think I would have voted for the either the Blood Hound or the  Rhodesian Ridge back. I guess I do have some fondness for the small dogs, I have a few dachshunds that I am  very good friends with and I never turn down a chance to play with a beagle.  Okay, I pretty much approve of the small hounds, but I still think the blood hound should have won or even the wolfhound because the big dogs never get any respect. No cute clothes either.

Its the Toy breeds that are truly pretend dogs. They even compete as pretend dogs!

This year the dog show has made some changes, this year we will not cry through David Duchovny and Sarah Mclaughlin  making us feel bad every ninety seconds. The new ads from the new sponsor are about happy dogs doing fun stuff and the message is  How much happier you will be if you have a dog, dogs are happy and think how much happiness a dog will bring you! go get a dog! Not as in years past when the message was: look at these miserable, pathetic dogs that are about to be euthanized, they will die because you wanted a golden retriever, you bigot. You are a puppy killer you are a miserable bastard. Guilt is good, I really promote it as a tool, and I do like David Duchovnys' voice, but Go get a dog! Dogs make you happy!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Watching the Grammys(tm) so you don't have to

"Watching" is the operative word. I have the TV on mute. I don't know what a Bruno Mars is and I don't care to learn, I don't have to, I'm over 40.

The show did kick off with a tribute to Whitney Houston, which was nice but had she not passed, she wouldn't have been mentioned even in passing. Isn't it ironic, she won't be mentioned either. Yes, my awesome music reference. I haven't actully really followed music with any regularity since 1994 with the exception of Adele and Bruce Springsteen so that may very well be my only reference. Lets hear it for AOR!

Bonnie Rhait still looks just like Bonnie Rhait, I don't know what that says about how she looked 15 years ago.

Yay Adele! Take that Lady Gag Me!

I bought a exercise ball over the weekend and I am trying it out. I discovered that I don't have the balance to do any of the suggested exersices so I am starting out slowly with using it has an office chair. So far so good. I'm not sure why this is supposed to be good exercise. What is sitting here supposed to accomplish? It may be too short to use a desk chair.

Perhaps I should watch the DVD. I also bought a cast iron frying pan the check out woman called a "attitude adjuster". My plan is to baptise it with chicken fried steak.

Reba Mcintire looks like a badly done muppet. I used to like her until she dissed the Dixie Chicks a few years ago, at some awards show. Rightwing cow.

I'm still sitting on my ball. I don't feel substantially more toned. I went and looked online as to why I am sitting on my ball. It seems my ball is really too small for this use, I am tall so I need a bigger ball. But according to 10 reasons to use an exersice ball as your office chair it is perfectly okay to use an exercise ball as a chair. But, there was another article from  the ergonomich chair industry,  ergonomically speaking, from our friends with the ergonomic chair industry, that its a no-no. Possibly because they would rather I use a $400 chair instead of a $40 ball. My ball cost on $12.

Rhianna is wearing a lot of clothes and none of her choreography thus far has included SMBD! (sadomasochism-bondage/discipline) They must have had a talk with her.

I didn't realize that the Grammys(tm) had good ads.

Okay, I'm pretty much done with sitting on this ball. I'm going back to my couch.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Friday Cat Blogging

Small Cat does his Orca impression.

A girl and her dog.

I totally would have had a real entry today but first I had to walk Dogger and we explored whjat passes for the warehouse district here in Mayberry, and  we looked into the artfully broken windows of abandoned warehouses and the most clever ivy covered facades and followed train tracks to nowhere and had a front row seat to a hobo fight. Actually, the last part is a lie, we didn't see another living thing, which was actually kind of weird.

And then I had to come home and heat up dinner - Pro-tip: Stroganoff doesn't age well, eat it immediately or set it free because noodles do not thank you for freezing them. And then I had to doze off in front of the TV because I suddenly was really, really cold. What does a cold flash mean? And then I had to load the car because I'm going out of town and then I had to watch 30 Rock, a one hour Valentine Special!

And than I couldn't find my cell phone and don't say just call it! because it and I don't have that kind of relationship! And then I found it and discovered I hadn't gotten an email in four hours. I had to sulk and then the cat jumped into my lap and I had to stay perfectly still until he had to get up to chase something invisible.

So. Why are we supposed to be all invested in Zoe Deschanel? I mean because I don't get it and I don't get her. I know she's supposed to be all cute and kooky and some kind of post-ironic hipster princess but really? Because I am surrounded by post-ironic hipster princess and frankly, she falls in about the middle of the pack. So whatever. Gen X rulz.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The price of no expectations.

And so you're asking yourself, Diana, how about those brownies? Did you make them? Why, yes, yes I did. I went to the less nice grocery store where I looked at various price points of less nice boxed chocolate powder and ultimately I decided on the less nice  mid-priced chocolate powder. I could have gone all the way with the $2.95 version,  or the nice grocery but I choice to go with the less nice mid priced powder because what is .45 anyway? The store was closer.

And how did they taste? You ask.

Brown. They taste brown. They taste like what would happen if you added oil and eggyweggies to brown powder and then baked the paste.  In their defence, they looked divine. Now I know what .45 gets you:  actual brownies. Actual nummy chocolaty goodness.

Lesson learned. When faced with two shelves of boxed brown powder : Buy the $2.85 brown powder and visit the nicer grocery store.Reach for the stars.

I know I should have made actual chocolate brownies from scratch but then I would have been in the store for days and my uncontrollable desire for brownies, any brownies  did not specify quality of said brownies and no its not "that" time, so shut the f' up. If I had gone Full Brownie the whole thing would have exploded into a full scale recipe and many dirty bowls and no doubt would have run me a lot more than $4.32 at the check out and a minute and a half of prep time. I also assume that most reputable brownies recipes do not include store brand eggyweggies among the ingredients.I don't see this as a total loss,  I itched  my scratch as well as scoring some  store brand eggyweggies for future use.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Bing Bong the Witch is gone!

It's a good week to be a liberal! First  after the application of considerable pressure, that zealot at SBK steps down and then completely on its own, the Ninth District court overturns California's' Prop 8. Yay us! Yay people who read and understand the constitution! and  sometimes when you sign seventeen different petitions, it actually works! Yay for Twitter and Facebook spreading the word! Yay! for equal protection under the law! Boo for those who would want otherwise.

Speaking of those who would want otherwise, how much did Romney contributed to the passing of Prop 9? back when, I think we should know that and I think he should tell us. Can I find it online?  Lets look shall we? Well, no official word of how much but some hint of what, stock transfers worth millions to the church  that coincided with their furious fund raising to  deny Californians to right to marry. Hmm. If he was willing as a private citizen to act against the rights of his fellow Americans what would he do with the power of the Presidency? A terrifying thought, one I hope the DNC runs with, first the gays then the women and then who? Who else might displease him? Who else might need to be controlled? The Mormon hating Baptists perhaps?  I'm really surprised that Mr. Noshame Gingrich isn't hitting this drum harder.

Anyway. On to me. I had a lovely dinner of  semi-homemade fish soup and some very nice rolls and I decided I still wanted something and after some reflection I decided that the "something" was most definitely brownies. Really good brownies. I then looked up online to see what goes into really good brownies and learned that I don't keep those kind of ingredients in the house, if I wanted really good brownies I would either have to offer it up or go shopping for cocoa powder and real eggs.

I don't really want cocoa powder in the house and eggs can be problematic. I started to think I could still go to the store but maybe just buy a really high end boxed brownie mix - I would still have to buy eggs but I could get by with eggyweggies and a less oily oil.

Brownies of any status would still mean leaving the house and I'm not sure I really want to. While its not actually cold outside, its not warm outside either and I don't think my delicate health needs me to spend a lot of time outside and if I do talk myself into going to the store, then I'll have to come home and make the brownies and then they have to cook and by the time they cook it will be very late and  you shouldn't eat brownies when its very late and then of course I will have brownies in the house and that is a bad plan because once you have brownies in the house you are obligated to eat the brownies until they are gone.

I wish there was Dog Brownies because then I could  fill my need to make brownies without the obligation to eat the brownies.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Pink hedge clippers do not cure cancer.

As you might remember, on Friday SBK decided that committing brand suicide is a bad idea. Shocking. While all that was going on, I among others discovered that SBK is not the worlds best charity, its a charity  boasting a  77% overhead?!, but not a great one. Its run by right-wing zealots and spineless  Bushco dweebs  - Ari Fleishman was the point man here! 

I don't think they have women's health or curing breast cancer at the top of their priority lists and women may not be on their lists at all and if women do show  up there its certainly not all women, just some women. I guess some breasts are more important that other breasts. We all have breast tissue but some of our breast tissue is made of unicorns and sparkles.

I had a mammogram,  I have insurance and I went to a very nice radiology clinic with lovely furniture in the lobby and expensive magazines and dressing rooms and cloth gowns  and calming music piped in. All in all, very nice, and yet  I'm pretty sure there were no unicorns in the images and a tragic lack of sparkles, possibly because I vote blue but this didn't matter and it shouldn't matter because mammograms aren't a red/blue issue, its a medical procedure performed thousands of times a day on republican women, democratic women, independent women, green party moron women.  Our breasts don't vote! I've never asked mine where their sympathies lay because it doesn't matter!

It matters to SBK. Medical procedures are not political footballs, unless you're you're a right-wing zealot and then everything is a red/blue issue and everything involving women and health and maintaining women's health is all about abortion.  Block that kick!

Many, many women don't have insurance and they don't get such fancy accommodations like I did or accommodations of any kind. From a completely bloodless, monetary stand point: They just don't get scanned and if there is an early cancer to identify it doesn't get identified  until  its well past early and now much too late and  then its not a cheap cancer either, late stage cancer, very expensive cancer and in the absents of  insurance, there is medicaid and medicaid means we all pay. The woman pays the real price but we all foot the bill - a huge expense to the tax payer. Catch it early, lose thousands in tax dollars, catch it late, lose millions.  It doesn't matter, Block that kick!

Okay, if you want to help in the fight against breast cancer and you have vowed that you will not buy another pink anything and you will  not donate one more cent to SBK, there are options. Enter options, lots and lots of options .

I'm spraying my hedge clippers black.

Monday, February 6, 2012


I sat on the couch and watched the game with Dogger and Small Cat. I did not write and entry. I enjoyed the game, I hope you did to.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Friday Cat Blogging

Put bread on my head. Try me.

Green Dreams

So tired. I need a Friday bad . Today I was changing out the messy, awful  powdered fax toner and it imploded. The resulting mess is both huge and permanent.  My bosses response was to tell me to clean up the mess because it isn't the housekeepers job to clean up after us.

Yesterday one of the section chiefs and I cleaned up a flood in the bathroom. I'm not exactly sure what the housekeepers do around here. We do have the spotless walls and baseboards though.

I heard that the groundhog saw his shadow so we're in for six more weeks of winter, I say Bring It On! another six weeks of seventy degree temperatures sounds like heaven. My iris plants are loving it and Fern is packing her things. I'm starting to think about going to the city and getting more dirt for the garden and pulling out the tiller and setting up the trellisi! I want to start hunting for free range honeysuckle because the dream is not dead! and then I want to go shopping for Knock Out roses and baby vegetable plants and maybe turf for the yard!

Of course, by next weekend it'll be snowing. I'm tired now. I'm going to go to bed and dream of bedding plants and tomaoto cages and tiny green melons and patio sized blue berry bushes.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Wouldn't it be nice...

I was very proud of me for taking the hit and spending my lunch hour at Sam's Club instead of going to Wallyworld . I spend so much time at Sam's now. They pharmacy as me on speed dial! since I've been ill I'm there all the time It was for the best, I came home and discovered that Dogger was a day or so away from critical dog food shortage and I was out of carpet shampoo.

What I really want is for someone less evil to open a big box store. I want to be able to shop and not feel guilty about being part of a massive web of exploitation and cruelty.

We need a nice liberal entity to open a big box store! Like Ikea with  Kraft Mac and Cheese and  oven cleaner and plastic flowers! A Grocery store modeled after Ikea! Full of cheap, medium quality foods! It would cheap and clean and well lit and they would play The Indigo Girls over the PA. They would  also sell  wildly over priced organic, free range crap to make the rich people feel good about shopping there because they feel that  the goods are expensive,  they are not "cheap", because cheap is bad. If its affordable there must be something wrong with it. The store would have that all that silly crap, but it would be in its own section and you wouldn't have to buy it! You would have  a choice! You can also get store brand ground chuck and Chinese apple pies and shampoo made of plastic too. You could use your own bag or not and that would be cool too.

I know how it would end. The new better store would be good to its employees, its vendors and the world at large and with all these people being so well taken care of the only person left to exploit would be me. Fair Trade seems fair to everyone except the guy pushing the grocery cart,  the only guy they all agree can be screwed with impunity.  Walmart makes slaves of us all.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The sound of one lady cooking

You know what doesn't photograph at all well? chicken pot pie. Even the best pot pie in the world photographs like dog food, wet dog food - and not expensive-looks-like-people-food-dog food, no it photographs like el cheapo, store brand "pate".  Tragic really because I made the best chicken pot pie ever and when I tried to capture its image, it morphed into pate. So demoralizing.

It turns out the secret to the worlds best pot pie  is in the browning.  Brown everything before  you pie it and its magic.  Brown that chicken and then soak that chicken all night in a red wine and herb marinade. Also? the  fresh, home-grown shiitake much-rooms didn't hurt either.

And how did I get all this done for a weeknight dinner? Well, if you are coming off an large enough dose of steroids, you too can chop and  prepare an entire meal in minutes the night before!  Really, I went to the store, I chopped, I separated, I soaked , I did it all! and then I found the perfect little plastic box or bowl to hold each ingredient - because the right sized container is key .

Today all I had to do was brown everything, deglazing between with lamb stock and add the cream  soup. Later, while it was cooking I made a hole in the center and added more lamb stock because I saw the Two Fat Ladies do it on TV, it works by the way. Nummy.