Oh. My. Gawd
Thousands expected? To look at a Casket? and a closed one at that? how do they know it's even him? it could be anyone, who do you think the GOP wants to bury this week?
Monday, June 7, 2004
What-ever
Bushit has proclaimed Friday a National Day of Mourning, true, this is SOP with a dead president, but Ronald Reagan??? (and the link is from FAUX news, so ya know, you never really know.). We're lucky he didn't call it Ronald Reagan Day, as he did with Jesus Day back when he fancied himself The Grand Executioner of Texas.
The CREP has taken down their site to show what big fans they are as well.
While our letter carriers are remembering The Big R by keeping it real hanging out by the pool and not delivering our mail, the rest of us can remember Ronnie Raygun this way.
Bushit has proclaimed Friday a National Day of Mourning, true, this is SOP with a dead president, but Ronald Reagan??? (and the link is from FAUX news, so ya know, you never really know.). We're lucky he didn't call it Ronald Reagan Day, as he did with Jesus Day back when he fancied himself The Grand Executioner of Texas.
The CREP has taken down their site to show what big fans they are as well.
While our letter carriers are remembering The Big R by keeping it real hanging out by the pool and not delivering our mail, the rest of us can remember Ronnie Raygun this way.
Finders Keepers Losers Weepers
I’m finally going to go back to the library and let them know I’ve lost their book. It’s gone and I can’t find it. I had it and then it disappeared.
I will explain to them that I have been reading a lot of Harry Potter lately and I can only assume that some Dark Wizard has cast some sort of Hiding Charm or Losing Spell on it and leave it at that. I think the library will accept that and move on.
Of Course they will. I think it should work. Maybe if I dress up like Dorothy and click my heels together three times and wish the book was in my hands... probably not.
If I can get worked up enough. I mean, I’ve read four of the five books over the past week and I just saw the movie and, ya know, I could be really freaked out and seeing brooms and enchanted rats and all make and model of magic folk all over the place. I think I might be able to convince them that I am A) Completely out of my mind, and as such not at all responsible for the status of said missing book and B) so damn clever to come up with such a cute excuse for misplacing their book that we all share a laugh about it . I am hoping for the “I’m so clever” instead of the “I’m so crazy”, but I do want them to not want to talk about it with me. Maybe if I just write a check and slip it under the door with a note,
Dear Library,
I lost your book. It was at my house and then it wasn’t. I have no clue where it went off to. I had suspected that it went to France as a stow away but it turned out that it hadn’t. I think some bad person stole it. My dogs soccer ball was stolen and I think your book suffered the same fate. Sorry, please find enclosed a check for X amount.
Signed,
I did do something to make sure that if something else disappears that I might be able to get it back. It being Kitty. I went and got him chipped. Now if the little monster tries to run away and ever ( God Forbid) stays away if he gets picked up by the pound they will be able to find out where he really belongs. I haven’t seen a truck from the pound in my neighborhood and from the number of stray cats there are just on my street, I doubt the pound has ever been here. It doesn’t matter. Kitty can run be can’t hide. And ya know , if he ever gets stolen or something and he ends up in some black market Kitty adoption ring, when he gets scanned at the hoodwinked adoptive parents vet, they will discover the cats secret identify and we’ll all end up in a Hallmark Network Made For TV Movie.
Speaking of Harry Potter, I think what would be really nice would be instead of making vague references to something that happened in the past, they could say something along the lines of, Hey, Potter, remember in Book 2 when we were doing blah, blah, blah and.... it would make it much easier to follow. Maybe if the books came with footnotes - that would be nice.
I’m finally going to go back to the library and let them know I’ve lost their book. It’s gone and I can’t find it. I had it and then it disappeared.
I will explain to them that I have been reading a lot of Harry Potter lately and I can only assume that some Dark Wizard has cast some sort of Hiding Charm or Losing Spell on it and leave it at that. I think the library will accept that and move on.
Of Course they will. I think it should work. Maybe if I dress up like Dorothy and click my heels together three times and wish the book was in my hands... probably not.
If I can get worked up enough. I mean, I’ve read four of the five books over the past week and I just saw the movie and, ya know, I could be really freaked out and seeing brooms and enchanted rats and all make and model of magic folk all over the place. I think I might be able to convince them that I am A) Completely out of my mind, and as such not at all responsible for the status of said missing book and B) so damn clever to come up with such a cute excuse for misplacing their book that we all share a laugh about it . I am hoping for the “I’m so clever” instead of the “I’m so crazy”, but I do want them to not want to talk about it with me. Maybe if I just write a check and slip it under the door with a note,
Dear Library,
I lost your book. It was at my house and then it wasn’t. I have no clue where it went off to. I had suspected that it went to France as a stow away but it turned out that it hadn’t. I think some bad person stole it. My dogs soccer ball was stolen and I think your book suffered the same fate. Sorry, please find enclosed a check for X amount.
Signed,
I did do something to make sure that if something else disappears that I might be able to get it back. It being Kitty. I went and got him chipped. Now if the little monster tries to run away and ever ( God Forbid) stays away if he gets picked up by the pound they will be able to find out where he really belongs. I haven’t seen a truck from the pound in my neighborhood and from the number of stray cats there are just on my street, I doubt the pound has ever been here. It doesn’t matter. Kitty can run be can’t hide. And ya know , if he ever gets stolen or something and he ends up in some black market Kitty adoption ring, when he gets scanned at the hoodwinked adoptive parents vet, they will discover the cats secret identify and we’ll all end up in a Hallmark Network Made For TV Movie.
Speaking of Harry Potter, I think what would be really nice would be instead of making vague references to something that happened in the past, they could say something along the lines of, Hey, Potter, remember in Book 2 when we were doing blah, blah, blah and.... it would make it much easier to follow. Maybe if the books came with footnotes - that would be nice.
Sunday, June 6, 2004
Saturday, June 5, 2004
Friday, June 4, 2004
Democratic Picnic Animal
At the last convention I saw a flyer for some Democratic Picnic sometime in June. I took the flier and thought that if this picnic thing was on a Saturday or something I might go. I brought the flyer home and Kitty ate it.
Before I could go to this soiree I had to get money. I decided on the bank near my house. When I got to the bank I decided on the drive through. Why Not?
Why. Not.
I know it’s a cliche. I know everyone who has ever been through a drive through bank has said the exact same thing. I’m going to say it anyway. WHY must the people in front, why must they do think that getting their boat refinanced is something they need to do at the drive through? and why is it the car in front of me is there to close on their house? Why! I just wanted to cash a check. It would have hardly been faster going in the bank since my neighborhood bank is Fort Apache The Bank and I end up standing in isolation booths while some computer checks me out against known bank robbers for twenty minutes before I am set lose on the interior of the bank where I get the same treatment . In My bank there is no waiting. Waiting in groups breeds bank robbers, so there is never more then one customer in the bank at a time. You will stand there and wait when you are the only person in line. They need one teller to keep an eye on you, one to run you through BCIS, another to keep an eye on the one keeping an eye on you and the fourth to pretend you aren’t there at all. This is the only teller with out a Next Window Please card .. I feel the love every time.
Anyway. I finally get my money. Three days and two gallons later.
On The Road To Find Out
I get Dogger up and throw her outside. I decided that feeding her before our little trip might be the wrong idea. People might not really dig her squatting while they are trying to eat their pulled pork. It can be kind of an appetite suppressant. So we leave.
Dogger loves this idea. This is the maiden voyage of her fancy collapsible bowl and I want to see if she will drink from it. It’s awfully convenient. The only non-convenient part is that I have to cart the water as well and I don’t have a hands free water bottle. Juggling is good for you.
We get to the fair grounds where the picnic is being held. Lot’s of cars. That is a good sign. Its always good to see a nice turn out at things like this. I find a place to park and maneuver Dogger, her bowl and the water out of the car. So far so good. No squirrels, gross things in the grass or anything Doggger needs to investigate right now.
I am not seeing a lot of people hauling blankets and chairs. Maybe we all forgot to bring them. I am also not seeing other dogs. There are always dogs at these things. Always. Every time I go to a group activity there are dogs. This is why I brought my dog.
There were a hell of a lot of Yellow Dogs there. Dogger was the only one with out an ACLU card.. Dinner was also an inside event. Dogger had to go back to the car. I woofed down my dinner and went and rescued her.
Many Pols. Many speeches, many reminders that the soul of our very country depends on this election. We and we alone can save this country. Another GOP term and we are all going to hell. Then I ate a brownie and we went home.
At the last convention I saw a flyer for some Democratic Picnic sometime in June. I took the flier and thought that if this picnic thing was on a Saturday or something I might go. I brought the flyer home and Kitty ate it.
Before I could go to this soiree I had to get money. I decided on the bank near my house. When I got to the bank I decided on the drive through. Why Not?
Why. Not.
I know it’s a cliche. I know everyone who has ever been through a drive through bank has said the exact same thing. I’m going to say it anyway. WHY must the people in front, why must they do think that getting their boat refinanced is something they need to do at the drive through? and why is it the car in front of me is there to close on their house? Why! I just wanted to cash a check. It would have hardly been faster going in the bank since my neighborhood bank is Fort Apache The Bank and I end up standing in isolation booths while some computer checks me out against known bank robbers for twenty minutes before I am set lose on the interior of the bank where I get the same treatment . In My bank there is no waiting. Waiting in groups breeds bank robbers, so there is never more then one customer in the bank at a time. You will stand there and wait when you are the only person in line. They need one teller to keep an eye on you, one to run you through BCIS, another to keep an eye on the one keeping an eye on you and the fourth to pretend you aren’t there at all. This is the only teller with out a Next Window Please card .. I feel the love every time.
Anyway. I finally get my money. Three days and two gallons later.
On The Road To Find Out
I get Dogger up and throw her outside. I decided that feeding her before our little trip might be the wrong idea. People might not really dig her squatting while they are trying to eat their pulled pork. It can be kind of an appetite suppressant. So we leave.
Dogger loves this idea. This is the maiden voyage of her fancy collapsible bowl and I want to see if she will drink from it. It’s awfully convenient. The only non-convenient part is that I have to cart the water as well and I don’t have a hands free water bottle. Juggling is good for you.
We get to the fair grounds where the picnic is being held. Lot’s of cars. That is a good sign. Its always good to see a nice turn out at things like this. I find a place to park and maneuver Dogger, her bowl and the water out of the car. So far so good. No squirrels, gross things in the grass or anything Doggger needs to investigate right now.
I am not seeing a lot of people hauling blankets and chairs. Maybe we all forgot to bring them. I am also not seeing other dogs. There are always dogs at these things. Always. Every time I go to a group activity there are dogs. This is why I brought my dog.
There were a hell of a lot of Yellow Dogs there. Dogger was the only one with out an ACLU card.. Dinner was also an inside event. Dogger had to go back to the car. I woofed down my dinner and went and rescued her.
Many Pols. Many speeches, many reminders that the soul of our very country depends on this election. We and we alone can save this country. Another GOP term and we are all going to hell. Then I ate a brownie and we went home.
Thursday, June 3, 2004
Unfull House
I'm getting used to the nephdogs being gone. I was taking Dogger out this morning and when I looked up at the clock I realized that for the last two weeks by this time I had fed all three dogs and was finally sitting down to read my paper. Wow.
It's so nice to sleep past 6am! I had no idea how very early it was and how much I wasn't loving getting up early. I didn't really know what time it was because I keep all the clocks in the house fast and when I set the clock for the extra dogs I just kind of let it go ahead what looked like a reasonable amount of time, keeping in mind it's all ready ten minutes fast or so.
The paperboy also picked that period of time to start experimenting with his delivery times, getting my paper to me whenever he got around to it. I hate that. I want my paper at the same time everyday. I don't like having to keep my self occupied at that hour, it leads to napping.
Weighter Topic
Mr. Kitty is much happier. When I came home yesterday after work, when I picked him up, instead of biting me or trying to get away, he snuggled up to my shoulder and purred. It had been a while since he has purred at me. He has been a tense kitty.
He's been lying on the carpet in front of the TV the last couple of weeks looking like some sort of beached orca. I thought I would use him as a back rest for watching TV and then I tried him out as a footrest when he didn't like being a back rest, he did not appreciate being a footrest either. If you are going to lie about like a footrest you shouldn't be surprised when you are used as a footrest. Fat Kitty.
Meow
They love sending out emails here at work, enlightening us to little known or archaic rules and regs, I think they need to send out an email about children. Today for instance, I am working at a Kindercare, there are three different kids wandering the building and none of them need to be here. This is a place of business, if I wanted to work at a daycare I would, actually if I wanted to work at a daycare I would shoot myself - but that's irrelevant. The kids shouldn't be here. I doubt seriously if I brought my dog up here to hang out all day and pretty much left other people to look after her, I would get called to the carpet. These people bring their kids up here and its okay. The only difference between my dog being here and these people's children being here, is that my dog makes less noise. And weighs less, but that's just me being catty. Right, but catty. If the child can tie up one of our, and in one case, two of our computers all day playing games, why can't that same child be at home playing computer games?
I also want an email about listening to religious radio stations while at work. This can't be right. It bugs me and I want it to not be allowed. I have half a mind to call personal and see if we can listen to inflammatory religious programming while at work. I bet we can't. It could be worse though, it could be Rush.
I'm getting used to the nephdogs being gone. I was taking Dogger out this morning and when I looked up at the clock I realized that for the last two weeks by this time I had fed all three dogs and was finally sitting down to read my paper. Wow.
It's so nice to sleep past 6am! I had no idea how very early it was and how much I wasn't loving getting up early. I didn't really know what time it was because I keep all the clocks in the house fast and when I set the clock for the extra dogs I just kind of let it go ahead what looked like a reasonable amount of time, keeping in mind it's all ready ten minutes fast or so.
The paperboy also picked that period of time to start experimenting with his delivery times, getting my paper to me whenever he got around to it. I hate that. I want my paper at the same time everyday. I don't like having to keep my self occupied at that hour, it leads to napping.
Weighter Topic
Mr. Kitty is much happier. When I came home yesterday after work, when I picked him up, instead of biting me or trying to get away, he snuggled up to my shoulder and purred. It had been a while since he has purred at me. He has been a tense kitty.
He's been lying on the carpet in front of the TV the last couple of weeks looking like some sort of beached orca. I thought I would use him as a back rest for watching TV and then I tried him out as a footrest when he didn't like being a back rest, he did not appreciate being a footrest either. If you are going to lie about like a footrest you shouldn't be surprised when you are used as a footrest. Fat Kitty.
Meow
They love sending out emails here at work, enlightening us to little known or archaic rules and regs, I think they need to send out an email about children. Today for instance, I am working at a Kindercare, there are three different kids wandering the building and none of them need to be here. This is a place of business, if I wanted to work at a daycare I would, actually if I wanted to work at a daycare I would shoot myself - but that's irrelevant. The kids shouldn't be here. I doubt seriously if I brought my dog up here to hang out all day and pretty much left other people to look after her, I would get called to the carpet. These people bring their kids up here and its okay. The only difference between my dog being here and these people's children being here, is that my dog makes less noise. And weighs less, but that's just me being catty. Right, but catty. If the child can tie up one of our, and in one case, two of our computers all day playing games, why can't that same child be at home playing computer games?
I also want an email about listening to religious radio stations while at work. This can't be right. It bugs me and I want it to not be allowed. I have half a mind to call personal and see if we can listen to inflammatory religious programming while at work. I bet we can't. It could be worse though, it could be Rush.
Wednesday, June 2, 2004
'Cause the seperation of church and state just isn't Khristian...
Vote like your soul depends on it.
Vote like your soul depends on it.
insert title here
So how was your long weekend? Do anything fun? Need another day off to recover from your day off?
I did nothing. Okay, I did slightly more then nothing because until late Sunday afternoon I still had a herd of dogs in my house, but for the most part nothing. Well, I did laundry. A lot of laundry. And I planted dwarf impatients, I had to go out and buy the flowers, so that was something.
Let's see what I accomplished
Friday
Fed, watered took in and out Dogs
Drove the nephdogs over to campus for a walk. That was kind of fun. I also brought them into my office to pick up something I forgot. I was right, two dogs is too many for the front seat of my car.
Went to Wal-Mart to get some film developed.
Returned to Wal-Mart to pick up film.
Went home, watched HDTV.
Took Dogs in and out
Read Harry Potter
Saturday
Moron woke me up at a quarter to eight in the morning to borrow a spoon. Had to kill him.
Fed, watered, took Dogs in and out
Bathed all three dogs in front yard
Caught the Kitty after he took advantage of the door being open while I was bringing one dog or another into the house post bath.
Read Harry Potter book
Went to Broskey and Alphagals to pick up mail, was not struck by lightening or set upon by ticks!
Took Dogs in and out
Went to K-Mart for some bedding plants found they were using the garden center to store polyester pants. I know where all the polyester pants got to after 1979. They did not have any bedding plants although they did have plastic plants. Martha is falling down on the job.
Finally found bedding plants at Farmers Market.
Took Dogs in and out
Finished Harry Potter book prior to movie opening this week. Yay Me.
Started fourth Harry Potter book. AKA the first one she was paid by the word.
Decided to ignore the trash in the closet. Too much like work.
Took Dogs in and out
Watched HDTV
Read Harry Potter book.
Did Laundry
Did Laundry
Did laundry
Read Harry Potter book.
Took dogs in and out
Sunday
Called To see if Brosky and Alphagal were home yet
Fed, watered took dogs in and out
Planted impatients. Discovered that a whole flat is a lot of impatients. Many, many, many little plants. Wondered if dogs would like to eat them.
Took Nephdogs for a walk.
Called to see if Broskey and Alphagal were home yet
Called to see if Broskey and Alphagal were home yet
Called to see if Broskey and Alphagal were home yet
Called to see if Broskey and Alphagal were home yet
Read Harry Potter
Took Dogs in and out
Filled dishwasher
Watched HDTV
Called to see if Broskey and Alphagal were home yet
Took Dogs in and out
Broskey and Alphagal Are Home!!!
Read Harry Potter book
Watched HDTV
Took Dogger out
Monday
Watched Law and Order marathon.
Read Harry Potter book
Closed Camp Knotty-Pina for the season
Did laundry
Did laundry
Read Harry Potter book
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Took Dogger out.
Went to Brosky and Alphagals.
Watched a Harry Potter movie.
Put Dogger out.
Yeah. I went to work today because it just sounded so much more exciting then what I had been doing.
So how was your long weekend? Do anything fun? Need another day off to recover from your day off?
I did nothing. Okay, I did slightly more then nothing because until late Sunday afternoon I still had a herd of dogs in my house, but for the most part nothing. Well, I did laundry. A lot of laundry. And I planted dwarf impatients, I had to go out and buy the flowers, so that was something.
Let's see what I accomplished
Friday
Fed, watered took in and out Dogs
Drove the nephdogs over to campus for a walk. That was kind of fun. I also brought them into my office to pick up something I forgot. I was right, two dogs is too many for the front seat of my car.
Went to Wal-Mart to get some film developed.
Returned to Wal-Mart to pick up film.
Went home, watched HDTV.
Took Dogs in and out
Read Harry Potter
Saturday
Moron woke me up at a quarter to eight in the morning to borrow a spoon. Had to kill him.
Fed, watered, took Dogs in and out
Bathed all three dogs in front yard
Caught the Kitty after he took advantage of the door being open while I was bringing one dog or another into the house post bath.
Read Harry Potter book
Went to Broskey and Alphagals to pick up mail, was not struck by lightening or set upon by ticks!
Took Dogs in and out
Went to K-Mart for some bedding plants found they were using the garden center to store polyester pants. I know where all the polyester pants got to after 1979. They did not have any bedding plants although they did have plastic plants. Martha is falling down on the job.
Finally found bedding plants at Farmers Market.
Took Dogs in and out
Finished Harry Potter book prior to movie opening this week. Yay Me.
Started fourth Harry Potter book. AKA the first one she was paid by the word.
Decided to ignore the trash in the closet. Too much like work.
Took Dogs in and out
Watched HDTV
Read Harry Potter book.
Did Laundry
Did Laundry
Did laundry
Read Harry Potter book.
Took dogs in and out
Sunday
Called To see if Brosky and Alphagal were home yet
Fed, watered took dogs in and out
Planted impatients. Discovered that a whole flat is a lot of impatients. Many, many, many little plants. Wondered if dogs would like to eat them.
Took Nephdogs for a walk.
Called to see if Broskey and Alphagal were home yet
Called to see if Broskey and Alphagal were home yet
Called to see if Broskey and Alphagal were home yet
Called to see if Broskey and Alphagal were home yet
Read Harry Potter
Took Dogs in and out
Filled dishwasher
Watched HDTV
Called to see if Broskey and Alphagal were home yet
Took Dogs in and out
Broskey and Alphagal Are Home!!!
Read Harry Potter book
Watched HDTV
Took Dogger out
Monday
Watched Law and Order marathon.
Read Harry Potter book
Closed Camp Knotty-Pina for the season
Did laundry
Did laundry
Read Harry Potter book
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Watched Law and Order Marathon
Took Dogger out.
Went to Brosky and Alphagals.
Watched a Harry Potter movie.
Put Dogger out.
Yeah. I went to work today because it just sounded so much more exciting then what I had been doing.
Tuesday, June 1, 2004
Grrrrrrrrr AArrgghh
Dear Drug Dealers next door,
I am not deaf. Speaking louder does not make what you are saying less easy to hear. I can read my book and over hear you talking. Stop Talking! There are so many things I do not want to know. If I wanted to take an extension course from the University of The Street, I would take something in Jump Rope or How To Avoid Pot Holes. Stop Talking!
sincerely,
The Material Witness next door.
edited to add, this is what they were talking about! OMG!
Dear Drug Dealers next door,
I am not deaf. Speaking louder does not make what you are saying less easy to hear. I can read my book and over hear you talking. Stop Talking! There are so many things I do not want to know. If I wanted to take an extension course from the University of The Street, I would take something in Jump Rope or How To Avoid Pot Holes. Stop Talking!
sincerely,
The Material Witness next door.
edited to add, this is what they were talking about! OMG!
I have a word for Koby Bryant...
if you don't like the word "victim" how about
RAPIST! you low life SOB!
if you don't like the word "victim" how about
RAPIST! you low life SOB!
Do to my deep laziness, this is a reprint of a “classic” entry from September 2003.
Hooommmmmeewaaarrd Booouunnnd, I wish I wasn’t Hooommmeewaaarddd Booounnnd
I went to the beach for the first time in a long time. Just sat by the beach and read my book. And played in the water. And got sunburned. If any of you were out looking at mars over the weekend, you weren’t seeing it. You were seeing my bright red self. Mars only thinks its got a big red face. Mars was pinkish and to my left.The warm water really gives you the opportunity to flop yourself into a deep state of meditation. You don’t have to be outfitted in something yoga-ific that Madonna approved. You can wear anything you don’t mind getting salt water on. Salt water also causes buoyancy. You can float! unaided, for as long as you can stay on the right side of the water, but let a bigger then average wave pound you into the shore and you may lose your floppy state of mind and find yourself just a bigger piece of flotsam – some old guy with a metal detector will throw you into his trunk, take you back to his garage and spray paint you and cover you with reflectors until you turn into yard art. Avoid beaching yourself.Anyway, on to my Theory of Floppiness.All great theories seem to have multiple points. Floppiness does not have points. Floppiness requires, rounded, calming shapes. Points are not calming shapes, they are pointy shapes. Not Calming and not conductive to floppiness.Floppiness has suggestions, ideas, thoughts, no points.Letting yourself go mentally floppy does not preclude dealing with more concrete issues, you cannot flop yourself away from mortgage payments or credit card debt or work. You can flop away from emotional things. Old friend suddenly being a complete boor? Want to kill him? Flop, flop, flop away!, some cow flip you off for no reason whatsoever? Flop away! Feeling low self esteem forming regarding your less then tailored shrubbery? Flop away!. Your feelings can be preserved almost indefinitely. To make Flopping Away work for you, you have to decide before hand that piddly little things are piddly little things. If someone is ugly to you or you have an interpersonal issue that needs to be dealt with? And you can’t right now deal with? Get floppy. Let the waves take you where they may! Let the current take you away from the icky interpersonal issue, which, really isn’t your problem any way.You must be firm in forcing yourself to let go, and let the waves! you cannot brood about it, you have to remain floppy or end up in some hideous garden spray painted and covered with reflectors. The only way to remain calm and at ease is to remain floppy. You must let yourself over to the current. Stressing about things out of your control, say your old friends boorish new behavior is not floppy. Stress leads to spray paint and garden gnomes.If you need a mentor in your floppiness, think about the Porpoise. This is a completely floppy animal. A dolphin, while somewhat floppy, has too many expectations attached to it. Strive to be a dolphin and you’ll be expected to have answers, and untold depth and contacts in Hollywood. Porpoises do not have untold depth, or famous friends, they have floppiness.Getting dicked around? Get Sharky , bare your fangs, eat that jerks head? No. Too messy and not at all floppy, Unleash your inner porpoise and flop away, roll around in the surf and go where the current takes you.
Hooommmmmeewaaarrd Booouunnnd, I wish I wasn’t Hooommmeewaaarddd Booounnnd
I went to the beach for the first time in a long time. Just sat by the beach and read my book. And played in the water. And got sunburned. If any of you were out looking at mars over the weekend, you weren’t seeing it. You were seeing my bright red self. Mars only thinks its got a big red face. Mars was pinkish and to my left.The warm water really gives you the opportunity to flop yourself into a deep state of meditation. You don’t have to be outfitted in something yoga-ific that Madonna approved. You can wear anything you don’t mind getting salt water on. Salt water also causes buoyancy. You can float! unaided, for as long as you can stay on the right side of the water, but let a bigger then average wave pound you into the shore and you may lose your floppy state of mind and find yourself just a bigger piece of flotsam – some old guy with a metal detector will throw you into his trunk, take you back to his garage and spray paint you and cover you with reflectors until you turn into yard art. Avoid beaching yourself.Anyway, on to my Theory of Floppiness.All great theories seem to have multiple points. Floppiness does not have points. Floppiness requires, rounded, calming shapes. Points are not calming shapes, they are pointy shapes. Not Calming and not conductive to floppiness.Floppiness has suggestions, ideas, thoughts, no points.Letting yourself go mentally floppy does not preclude dealing with more concrete issues, you cannot flop yourself away from mortgage payments or credit card debt or work. You can flop away from emotional things. Old friend suddenly being a complete boor? Want to kill him? Flop, flop, flop away!, some cow flip you off for no reason whatsoever? Flop away! Feeling low self esteem forming regarding your less then tailored shrubbery? Flop away!. Your feelings can be preserved almost indefinitely. To make Flopping Away work for you, you have to decide before hand that piddly little things are piddly little things. If someone is ugly to you or you have an interpersonal issue that needs to be dealt with? And you can’t right now deal with? Get floppy. Let the waves take you where they may! Let the current take you away from the icky interpersonal issue, which, really isn’t your problem any way.You must be firm in forcing yourself to let go, and let the waves! you cannot brood about it, you have to remain floppy or end up in some hideous garden spray painted and covered with reflectors. The only way to remain calm and at ease is to remain floppy. You must let yourself over to the current. Stressing about things out of your control, say your old friends boorish new behavior is not floppy. Stress leads to spray paint and garden gnomes.If you need a mentor in your floppiness, think about the Porpoise. This is a completely floppy animal. A dolphin, while somewhat floppy, has too many expectations attached to it. Strive to be a dolphin and you’ll be expected to have answers, and untold depth and contacts in Hollywood. Porpoises do not have untold depth, or famous friends, they have floppiness.Getting dicked around? Get Sharky , bare your fangs, eat that jerks head? No. Too messy and not at all floppy, Unleash your inner porpoise and flop away, roll around in the surf and go where the current takes you.
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