Please Lord, don't ever let me get so famous that my body is ordered "preserved"
Judge orders Smith's body preserved at least 11 days
Somewhere she and James Brown are deciding who they're going to haunt.
Friday, February 9, 2007
TGIF
Finally. Longest week ever. Kind of, I mean I’ve had longer weeks, but ya know. I’m getting old. I was tired all week. Two week ends in a row I was busy and now I’m tired. I am so old. I woke up one morning and griped at myself for staying up so “late” the night before – That would be fine, but I asleep by eleven. It’s not like I was up late running around. In bed by eleven. I am so lame. And old.
I blame Eastern Standard Time. See, Central Time ends at 10pm. You can watch your 9:00pm hour long drama and be in bed five minute later. Sure, prime time starts at 7pm, but that means that the kiddies can be put to bed earlier. I think eventually the Nanny State will take over and will make it a law that children under age fill-in-the-blank must be in bed by no later than X time. They’ll quote a bunch of studies saying that children need X hours of sleep a night and how getting less sleep effects test scores and children who report earlier bed times have higher scores than those who report later bed times andthat will get everyone’s attention because the schools live and die by they federal funding and funding is tied to test scores and the schools will start little “Early to Bed Early To Rise” clubs where the kids will report in what time they hit the hay and maybe club members will get free breakfast and then they’ll decided that any child that is eligible for free breakfast has to be an ETBETR club member to maintain eligibility and eventually someone will suggest fining parents who don’t enforce bed times and on and on.
I don’t know how they would enforce this but I’m sure they would find some invasive way to monitor it. And we’ll let them, because by that time we’ll have given up and FAUX News will tell us that we all agree that personal privacy provides aid and comfort to the terrasts.
Whatever. I mean, I’m all in favor of going to bed early and I think children under the age of say, 12 should be in bed no later than 9:00pm – but mostly because I hate going out at night and having to keep an eye out for eight year olds dressed like ninjas riding their bikes in the middle of the street.
Anyway. Eastern Standard Time , bad and contributes to sleep debt and falling test grades. Central Standard Time, good as well as Gawds own time zone.
Next item.
I finally caved and bought a battery powered tooth brush. I thought it would be cooler but it’s really like getting an OTC tooth cleaning – about 85 percent of a “prescription” tooth cleaning. I thought that there would be more there “there”. Sure, it revolves and vibrates and all but…. I don’t know if it’s something I’m going to feel like I need another of when it wears out. I almost got a similar model that played “music” for two minutes. The tooth brush had kind of a faux NASCAR theme so I had my suspicions that the “music” it would play would be Proud to Be a Murrican, so I gave it a pass. If it hadn’t played music I might have gone with it, it was kewl but really, does anyone really need a black toothbrush with flame decals? I mean anyone who isn’t Danny Zuko?
Finally. Longest week ever. Kind of, I mean I’ve had longer weeks, but ya know. I’m getting old. I was tired all week. Two week ends in a row I was busy and now I’m tired. I am so old. I woke up one morning and griped at myself for staying up so “late” the night before – That would be fine, but I asleep by eleven. It’s not like I was up late running around. In bed by eleven. I am so lame. And old.
I blame Eastern Standard Time. See, Central Time ends at 10pm. You can watch your 9:00pm hour long drama and be in bed five minute later. Sure, prime time starts at 7pm, but that means that the kiddies can be put to bed earlier. I think eventually the Nanny State will take over and will make it a law that children under age fill-in-the-blank must be in bed by no later than X time. They’ll quote a bunch of studies saying that children need X hours of sleep a night and how getting less sleep effects test scores and children who report earlier bed times have higher scores than those who report later bed times andthat will get everyone’s attention because the schools live and die by they federal funding and funding is tied to test scores and the schools will start little “Early to Bed Early To Rise” clubs where the kids will report in what time they hit the hay and maybe club members will get free breakfast and then they’ll decided that any child that is eligible for free breakfast has to be an ETBETR club member to maintain eligibility and eventually someone will suggest fining parents who don’t enforce bed times and on and on.
I don’t know how they would enforce this but I’m sure they would find some invasive way to monitor it. And we’ll let them, because by that time we’ll have given up and FAUX News will tell us that we all agree that personal privacy provides aid and comfort to the terrasts.
Whatever. I mean, I’m all in favor of going to bed early and I think children under the age of say, 12 should be in bed no later than 9:00pm – but mostly because I hate going out at night and having to keep an eye out for eight year olds dressed like ninjas riding their bikes in the middle of the street.
Anyway. Eastern Standard Time , bad and contributes to sleep debt and falling test grades. Central Standard Time, good as well as Gawds own time zone.
Next item.
I finally caved and bought a battery powered tooth brush. I thought it would be cooler but it’s really like getting an OTC tooth cleaning – about 85 percent of a “prescription” tooth cleaning. I thought that there would be more there “there”. Sure, it revolves and vibrates and all but…. I don’t know if it’s something I’m going to feel like I need another of when it wears out. I almost got a similar model that played “music” for two minutes. The tooth brush had kind of a faux NASCAR theme so I had my suspicions that the “music” it would play would be Proud to Be a Murrican, so I gave it a pass. If it hadn’t played music I might have gone with it, it was kewl but really, does anyone really need a black toothbrush with flame decals? I mean anyone who isn’t Danny Zuko?
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Train of thought
A chip here and chip there, every one of them an opportunity to begin picking, picking, picking at my nail polish. It was lovely but now it’s time for it to go.
I felt bad even thinking about removing the polish while my nails were still flawless. Now? a few days in flaws are staring to show up and I am less precious about removing the polish - one flake at a time if that's what it takes. The last time I did this the polish came off in sheets. Spekaing of polish, how does polish end up scratched? I hadn’t even done anything to them yet and there are these little lines, they almost look like stretch marks? Do nails get stretch marks? Do nails lose weight suddenly? Are my nails doing trim spa and not sharing with me? What does it all mean? Are my nails sending me messages? Can they breathe under there? Did that highly flammable stuff they sprayed on them to make them dry faster, make them ill? I could imagine. I think an alternate use for the nail spray would be as a jet fuel . McGuyver would love it.
As pretty as most of my nails still are, I am starting to get the same sensation I do when I have dried glue on my hands. Am I the only one with that issue? Other people can get down right rhapsodic about the joys of popping bubble wrap – fun, I’ll admit but not as good as picking at glue.
Another car jumps the tracks
The mail guy at work was late today. It makes up for yesterday when he was early. And he didn’t even hang around to let us catch up; he hurried out just like he does when he arrives on time. Today I hurried to get everything ready to go early and he showed up late. I liked it better when he had a set schedule.
The new file manager is making copies. Did you know that there is more than one way to make copies? I had no idea. I did it the right way and she is doing it in a completely different way. It’s taking a great deal of self control to not get up and show her the “right” way to do it. I’m sure we’re getting the same results, maybe. I wasn’t much for chaos when I was making copies. Different strokes I guess. I just prefer having my copies in neat stacks and the originals back in the order I found them. I’m just wacky that way .
Watch out!
I finally bathed Dogger last night. She was really wretched. She was so stinky she all but jumped into the tub and soaped herself up. It’s really sad when you walk into a room and your first thought is Wow. Did I track something in. I didn’t track anything in, I lead it in on a leash and now it was standing there wagging its tailette and wanting to get up on the furniture.
It was time for a bath and she knew it. I should have guessed the way she was going though deodorant. After I finished with her hair, I thought about using my conditioner but she didn’t seem to be feeling it. I thought she would like smelling like a tropical bouquet. She did not. She was like ”I’ll stand here through the baby shampoo and I can understand the flea stuff but I draw the line at you putting “product” on my fur. Paris Hilton you are not and I do not fit in your purse. Tick tock babe, I'm losing patience fast.”.
Since she didn't want the finishing rinse, we were almost done. She could get out of the bath but I had to get her toweled off and then I had to dig out my hair drier and blow dry her coat, what you don't blow dry your dog after it's bath? and after that the weekly brushing of her teeth.
I’m pretty sure I spend more time on her beauty regime then my own.
A chip here and chip there, every one of them an opportunity to begin picking, picking, picking at my nail polish. It was lovely but now it’s time for it to go.
I felt bad even thinking about removing the polish while my nails were still flawless. Now? a few days in flaws are staring to show up and I am less precious about removing the polish - one flake at a time if that's what it takes. The last time I did this the polish came off in sheets. Spekaing of polish, how does polish end up scratched? I hadn’t even done anything to them yet and there are these little lines, they almost look like stretch marks? Do nails get stretch marks? Do nails lose weight suddenly? Are my nails doing trim spa and not sharing with me? What does it all mean? Are my nails sending me messages? Can they breathe under there? Did that highly flammable stuff they sprayed on them to make them dry faster, make them ill? I could imagine. I think an alternate use for the nail spray would be as a jet fuel . McGuyver would love it.
As pretty as most of my nails still are, I am starting to get the same sensation I do when I have dried glue on my hands. Am I the only one with that issue? Other people can get down right rhapsodic about the joys of popping bubble wrap – fun, I’ll admit but not as good as picking at glue.
Another car jumps the tracks
The mail guy at work was late today. It makes up for yesterday when he was early. And he didn’t even hang around to let us catch up; he hurried out just like he does when he arrives on time. Today I hurried to get everything ready to go early and he showed up late. I liked it better when he had a set schedule.
The new file manager is making copies. Did you know that there is more than one way to make copies? I had no idea. I did it the right way and she is doing it in a completely different way. It’s taking a great deal of self control to not get up and show her the “right” way to do it. I’m sure we’re getting the same results, maybe. I wasn’t much for chaos when I was making copies. Different strokes I guess. I just prefer having my copies in neat stacks and the originals back in the order I found them. I’m just wacky that way .
Watch out!
I finally bathed Dogger last night. She was really wretched. She was so stinky she all but jumped into the tub and soaped herself up. It’s really sad when you walk into a room and your first thought is Wow. Did I track something in. I didn’t track anything in, I lead it in on a leash and now it was standing there wagging its tailette and wanting to get up on the furniture.
It was time for a bath and she knew it. I should have guessed the way she was going though deodorant. After I finished with her hair, I thought about using my conditioner but she didn’t seem to be feeling it. I thought she would like smelling like a tropical bouquet. She did not. She was like ”I’ll stand here through the baby shampoo and I can understand the flea stuff but I draw the line at you putting “product” on my fur. Paris Hilton you are not and I do not fit in your purse. Tick tock babe, I'm losing patience fast.”.
Since she didn't want the finishing rinse, we were almost done. She could get out of the bath but I had to get her toweled off and then I had to dig out my hair drier and blow dry her coat, what you don't blow dry your dog after it's bath? and after that the weekly brushing of her teeth.
I’m pretty sure I spend more time on her beauty regime then my own.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Shocking. Just Shocking
Three former Army Reserve officers and two civilians indicted with conspiracy, money laundering and bribery in probe of alleged fraudelent use of millions of U.S.
dollars in Iraq.
McNulty added that the defendants smuggled bricks of stolen cash from Iraq back to the United States for personal use.
U.S. government officials working in Iraq are not for sale. We will prosecute anyone who attempts to exploit the reconstruction efforts in Iraq for their personal gain.
CNN.com
So, can we assume that Haliburton will be next up? Isn't "exploiting the reconstruction efforts in Iraq for their personal gain" a part of their misson statement? I'm confused. Do you think they asked the two civilans if they voted for Bush? . The republican culture of corruption goes on and on, on and on, on and on...
Three former Army Reserve officers and two civilians indicted with conspiracy, money laundering and bribery in probe of alleged fraudelent use of millions of U.S.
dollars in Iraq.
McNulty added that the defendants smuggled bricks of stolen cash from Iraq back to the United States for personal use.
U.S. government officials working in Iraq are not for sale. We will prosecute anyone who attempts to exploit the reconstruction efforts in Iraq for their personal gain.
CNN.com
So, can we assume that Haliburton will be next up? Isn't "exploiting the reconstruction efforts in Iraq for their personal gain" a part of their misson statement? I'm confused. Do you think they asked the two civilans if they voted for Bush? . The republican culture of corruption goes on and on, on and on, on and on...
Dear Sam’s Club,
If that’s your real name… See, the suspicion? It burns.
I went to your store today, I mean I am assuming it was your store, but that with Identity theft being such a problem these day, it could have been almost anyone's. I blame the internets. I chose your establishment because I could both buy gas for my car and pizza for my lunch at the same place!, I thought How Neat!
Well, I dutifully flashed my membership card to the young lady at the door. I could have flashed my library card at her as much as she cared, but that is beside the point. She didn’t even notice that I walked past a display of plasma screen TVs and didn’t steal any of them.
And then I walked past a huge display of valentines candy and while no one was looking, I didn’t steal any.
I decided to eat lunch first so as to not have gasoline on my hands while I was eating. I’m really into the science of scentology and I know it’s not a scent that facilitates digestion. So, I went to your Bistro and bought a slice of pizza and a soft drink, I paid for it with my Sam’s Club credit card. The counter help gave me my recipt and I found a seat, I mean not everyone lives to ponder the circle of life where you can have cheese pizza and tires sold in the same building. What came first the tire or the cheese, they are both made from the same petroleum based products... Boy were there a lot of empty seats! I had to get up and get a napkin because the pizza was a little greasy – have you thought about selling your excess grease? Does your store do lube jobs? or would the public have to buy those in bulk too? Perhaps marketing towards fleets? Just a suggestion!
I finished my meal and prepared to leave the store. I walked past a huge display of deodorant and while no one was watching, I didn’t steal any.
I was at the door when it struck me that my receipt at become adhered to my napkin and was accidentally thrown away! I felt just awful about it and told the gal at the door right off.
She contacted her manager and the manager took my Sam’s Card.
And I stood there.
And I stood there.
And I stood there.
And I stood there.
I was begin to feel a little bit like I had done something very wrong. They were assuming I would steal from them.
The manager had my card and he had been gone a very long time. I began to wonder what he was doing tapping away at his computer.
And I stood there.
And I stood there.
And I stood there.
And I stood there
And I finally went to his computer and while no one was looking I did not steal their credit card machine
I went to remind him that like Old Glory, I was still there.
He smirked at me. At Me! Old Glory!
He said he was printing out a new receipt for me. I told him I didn’t want my receipt, I wanted to go back to work. He said the gal would ask for it.
I walked back to the door and while no one was looking, did not steal their suggestion box.
The gal looked embarrassed. The only one demanding to see my receipt was him. Anyway, I just wanted to write and share with you a new marketing slogan:
Sam’s Club - Where making you feel small is our business.
Yours Truly,
If that’s your real name… See, the suspicion? It burns.
I went to your store today, I mean I am assuming it was your store, but that with Identity theft being such a problem these day, it could have been almost anyone's. I blame the internets. I chose your establishment because I could both buy gas for my car and pizza for my lunch at the same place!, I thought How Neat!
Well, I dutifully flashed my membership card to the young lady at the door. I could have flashed my library card at her as much as she cared, but that is beside the point. She didn’t even notice that I walked past a display of plasma screen TVs and didn’t steal any of them.
And then I walked past a huge display of valentines candy and while no one was looking, I didn’t steal any.
I decided to eat lunch first so as to not have gasoline on my hands while I was eating. I’m really into the science of scentology and I know it’s not a scent that facilitates digestion. So, I went to your Bistro and bought a slice of pizza and a soft drink, I paid for it with my Sam’s Club credit card. The counter help gave me my recipt and I found a seat, I mean not everyone lives to ponder the circle of life where you can have cheese pizza and tires sold in the same building. What came first the tire or the cheese, they are both made from the same petroleum based products... Boy were there a lot of empty seats! I had to get up and get a napkin because the pizza was a little greasy – have you thought about selling your excess grease? Does your store do lube jobs? or would the public have to buy those in bulk too? Perhaps marketing towards fleets? Just a suggestion!
I finished my meal and prepared to leave the store. I walked past a huge display of deodorant and while no one was watching, I didn’t steal any.
I was at the door when it struck me that my receipt at become adhered to my napkin and was accidentally thrown away! I felt just awful about it and told the gal at the door right off.
She contacted her manager and the manager took my Sam’s Card.
And I stood there.
And I stood there.
And I stood there.
And I stood there.
I was begin to feel a little bit like I had done something very wrong. They were assuming I would steal from them.
The manager had my card and he had been gone a very long time. I began to wonder what he was doing tapping away at his computer.
And I stood there.
And I stood there.
And I stood there.
And I stood there
And I finally went to his computer and while no one was looking I did not steal their credit card machine
I went to remind him that like Old Glory, I was still there.
He smirked at me. At Me! Old Glory!
He said he was printing out a new receipt for me. I told him I didn’t want my receipt, I wanted to go back to work. He said the gal would ask for it.
I walked back to the door and while no one was looking, did not steal their suggestion box.
The gal looked embarrassed. The only one demanding to see my receipt was him. Anyway, I just wanted to write and share with you a new marketing slogan:
Sam’s Club - Where making you feel small is our business.
Yours Truly,
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Girl looks like a Lady
Pwetty, ohhhh! Shiny… I’m sorry; I was totally distracted by the luster and glammer of my nails.
I decided to get them “done” for the baptism. It’s been a while, oh, I don’t know twelve years since I’ve had them professionally painted. They are all shiny now and reflective and I keep trying to see myself in them, but I can't, not really.
After the ceremony I wanted to say “Well, I can’t walk in heels and managed to walk right out of those shoes walking up the stairs to the alter (Does that sound hugely embarrassing? Yes, yes it was! And was this all captured on tape? Yes, yes it was!) . I may look like a total loser but my look how great my nails are!”.
I had the nails of a woman who could not only walk in heels but who also climb stairs in them! And would have never experienced a shoe related mishap. Ever. I walked up to the alter with the nails of a woman who would never buy discount shoes on sale. I walked up to the alter with the nails of a woman wearing Jimmy Chew shoes. Sadly, that woman’s nails were attached to my hands and I wasn't wearing Jimmy Chews.
Shiny, shiny! Prwetty
I think you have to pay more for the truly mirror like finish, but still. I would paint my nails myself, probably more frequently than my once every twelve year schedule that I have been working on, but I suck at it. Not just kind of suck, I mean really, really suck. A three year old would do a better job. A three year child with pink fingernail polish all over their hands and face and clothes and walls and the cat… It’s cute. An issue for your insurance to resolve, but cute. When a grown adult woman can’t put polish on her nails without ending up looking like some sort of Circ de Soloa wannabe, it’s just sad.
Oh, so smoooooth…
Oh, wait, sorry. I had to pet my nails for a second.
All of a sudden I’m noticing my fingers. I spent the weekend with them splayed out on table tops because I was so entranced by their shiny newness and their sudden, tragic fragileness. All it takes is single bad idea and they aren’t perfect anymore and polished nails are all about perfection. I know now why they say ladies don’t drink out of cans. It’s not that ladies shouldn’t drink out of cans, it’s because they can’t open those cans. Those pop tops play havoc on your manicure! I’ve opened hundreds of cans but all of a sudden I had to think about it and I was like Oh my gawd! This is totally going to mess with my nails! Damn.. I was goingto ask for assistance but I was afraid that suddenly setting back the woman's movement by 25 years would cause waves. I don’t really want to get a pissy cease and desist letter from Ms. magazine or a pissy letter of congratulations from the Eagle Forum.
I wonder if I was trying to open a diet coke would the pop top have been more manicure friendly. Maybe they come with a wider pop top or a springier release? Or padding? Or something? I don’t it’s too much to expect. If they can make huge buttons in Dodge trucks to serve guys wearing work gloves, they can make better pop tops for woman wearing nail polish.
While I am really enjoying the new shiny state of my nails I also want to start picking on the polish. I mean, really I want to peel it off in sheets . The longer my nails are covered the more I am beginning to relate to my shiny overlords like they are a particularly insidious form of band aid.
You know the good thing about having your nails painted a really dark color? If you happen to get dirt under your nails? It’s invisible! I mean, not that I have dirt under my nails at present, but it’s an interesting solution. Perhaps during spring planting season I will visit the manicurist again…
Pwetty, ohhhh! Shiny… I’m sorry; I was totally distracted by the luster and glammer of my nails.
I decided to get them “done” for the baptism. It’s been a while, oh, I don’t know twelve years since I’ve had them professionally painted. They are all shiny now and reflective and I keep trying to see myself in them, but I can't, not really.
After the ceremony I wanted to say “Well, I can’t walk in heels and managed to walk right out of those shoes walking up the stairs to the alter (Does that sound hugely embarrassing? Yes, yes it was! And was this all captured on tape? Yes, yes it was!) . I may look like a total loser but my look how great my nails are!”.
I had the nails of a woman who could not only walk in heels but who also climb stairs in them! And would have never experienced a shoe related mishap. Ever. I walked up to the alter with the nails of a woman who would never buy discount shoes on sale. I walked up to the alter with the nails of a woman wearing Jimmy Chew shoes. Sadly, that woman’s nails were attached to my hands and I wasn't wearing Jimmy Chews.
Shiny, shiny! Prwetty
I think you have to pay more for the truly mirror like finish, but still. I would paint my nails myself, probably more frequently than my once every twelve year schedule that I have been working on, but I suck at it. Not just kind of suck, I mean really, really suck. A three year old would do a better job. A three year child with pink fingernail polish all over their hands and face and clothes and walls and the cat… It’s cute. An issue for your insurance to resolve, but cute. When a grown adult woman can’t put polish on her nails without ending up looking like some sort of Circ de Soloa wannabe, it’s just sad.
Oh, so smoooooth…
Oh, wait, sorry. I had to pet my nails for a second.
All of a sudden I’m noticing my fingers. I spent the weekend with them splayed out on table tops because I was so entranced by their shiny newness and their sudden, tragic fragileness. All it takes is single bad idea and they aren’t perfect anymore and polished nails are all about perfection. I know now why they say ladies don’t drink out of cans. It’s not that ladies shouldn’t drink out of cans, it’s because they can’t open those cans. Those pop tops play havoc on your manicure! I’ve opened hundreds of cans but all of a sudden I had to think about it and I was like Oh my gawd! This is totally going to mess with my nails! Damn.. I was goingto ask for assistance but I was afraid that suddenly setting back the woman's movement by 25 years would cause waves. I don’t really want to get a pissy cease and desist letter from Ms. magazine or a pissy letter of congratulations from the Eagle Forum.
I wonder if I was trying to open a diet coke would the pop top have been more manicure friendly. Maybe they come with a wider pop top or a springier release? Or padding? Or something? I don’t it’s too much to expect. If they can make huge buttons in Dodge trucks to serve guys wearing work gloves, they can make better pop tops for woman wearing nail polish.
While I am really enjoying the new shiny state of my nails I also want to start picking on the polish. I mean, really I want to peel it off in sheets . The longer my nails are covered the more I am beginning to relate to my shiny overlords like they are a particularly insidious form of band aid.
You know the good thing about having your nails painted a really dark color? If you happen to get dirt under your nails? It’s invisible! I mean, not that I have dirt under my nails at present, but it’s an interesting solution. Perhaps during spring planting season I will visit the manicurist again…
Monday, February 5, 2007
Damn, the Colts won.
Whew. What a weekend. What with family in town and Tiny E’s baptism, lovely, by the way, and post-Baptism gatherings and The Puppy Bowl and the Super Bowl and Broskey running into that deer - Gosh. There wasn’t much time for blogging. So I didn’t.
But. I did have a question answered that had been bothering me for some time. I have read many, many stories of hit and run drivers swearing to Gawd that they had no idea that they hit and then ran over that full grown human being. It made me very scared that perhaps I have been running over people for years and not realizing it. I’ve been wanting to ask a cop but I could never find the right opening and then I was afraid they would see my question as well, questionable. Every time I saw a report of a hit and run I would sit there and think if I could have been there. I mean, even if I had not been driving in the area at the time or had even been awake at that hour... even though I am rarely out driving around at four am , when most of these things seem to happen, I worried.
It’s one of the reasons I don’t like driving at night, I was truly afraid of committing a hit and run and not knowing it. People are stupid at night and they don’t pay attention. Drivers and pedestrians. A pedestrian out playing in traffic - late, late at night is likely very, very, stupid.. A driver out late, late at night is likely stupid and have their finger on the trigger of a 1200 pound weapon. It doesn’t take much to figure out who is going to be still be stupid when the lights come up and who is going to be dead.
Well. I know now. If you hit a full grown anything, if you as much as wing a full grown anything - you can tell. There is a sizable impact. It feels like being rear ended. Hard. You may not see what SOB hit you, but know for damn sure you were hit.
We winged a deer and we could tell right off. It was a big thing and we hit it. Hard. Even if we didn’t see the deer the car bore witness. It was slammed. The impact left a big damn dent, smushed the bumper and shattered the headlights. We could tell we hit something. And a good sized human can out weigh a deer and most likely isn’t going to scamper out of the way to go die in the woods. A person is going die on the road and won’t be invisible.
We could have all been drunk off our ass’s ( which we weren’t. Post baptism, the only spirits running though us were Holy) and it would have been perfectly clear that we had just hit a something. A drunk who hits a something knows they hit a something, the drunk would be startled at the very least. For sober people, it was terrifying.
I have my answer and I know I have not been randomly playing chicken with pedestrians The next person who hits a full grown human and claims they couldn’t tell or they didn’t know . I’ll know one thing, they are lieing.
Whew. What a weekend. What with family in town and Tiny E’s baptism, lovely, by the way, and post-Baptism gatherings and The Puppy Bowl and the Super Bowl and Broskey running into that deer - Gosh. There wasn’t much time for blogging. So I didn’t.
But. I did have a question answered that had been bothering me for some time. I have read many, many stories of hit and run drivers swearing to Gawd that they had no idea that they hit and then ran over that full grown human being. It made me very scared that perhaps I have been running over people for years and not realizing it. I’ve been wanting to ask a cop but I could never find the right opening and then I was afraid they would see my question as well, questionable. Every time I saw a report of a hit and run I would sit there and think if I could have been there. I mean, even if I had not been driving in the area at the time or had even been awake at that hour... even though I am rarely out driving around at four am , when most of these things seem to happen, I worried.
It’s one of the reasons I don’t like driving at night, I was truly afraid of committing a hit and run and not knowing it. People are stupid at night and they don’t pay attention. Drivers and pedestrians. A pedestrian out playing in traffic - late, late at night is likely very, very, stupid.. A driver out late, late at night is likely stupid and have their finger on the trigger of a 1200 pound weapon. It doesn’t take much to figure out who is going to be still be stupid when the lights come up and who is going to be dead.
Well. I know now. If you hit a full grown anything, if you as much as wing a full grown anything - you can tell. There is a sizable impact. It feels like being rear ended. Hard. You may not see what SOB hit you, but know for damn sure you were hit.
We winged a deer and we could tell right off. It was a big thing and we hit it. Hard. Even if we didn’t see the deer the car bore witness. It was slammed. The impact left a big damn dent, smushed the bumper and shattered the headlights. We could tell we hit something. And a good sized human can out weigh a deer and most likely isn’t going to scamper out of the way to go die in the woods. A person is going die on the road and won’t be invisible.
We could have all been drunk off our ass’s ( which we weren’t. Post baptism, the only spirits running though us were Holy) and it would have been perfectly clear that we had just hit a something. A drunk who hits a something knows they hit a something, the drunk would be startled at the very least. For sober people, it was terrifying.
I have my answer and I know I have not been randomly playing chicken with pedestrians The next person who hits a full grown human and claims they couldn’t tell or they didn’t know . I’ll know one thing, they are lieing.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Friday, February 2, 2007
Wake County Schools Suck.
Today it pretended to snow again. The schools took the opportunity to drill what they would do if they actually were faced with a real weather related emergencey and were forced to close the schools.Someday, when we get actual, seriously bad weather - the school cancellation will go really smoothly. No panic, no stressing.
The scool system is damn good at it, all the driling it into the kids that bad weather= stay at home; it's not easy to train good habits out of them. But they do their best to make sure their students have no work ethic whatsoever. Those lessons has to last them into adulthood. They need to learn that if the streets are wet - they just shouldn’t risk it. The kids can’t read or write but damn it, they can deal with classes being cancelled like champs.
So. Since it was wet and cold and nasty and I wasn’t going to go to the park or walk Dogger under the circumstances - Gawd created fenced yards for a reason.
I went shopping instead. I still was looking for an appropriate baptism gift for Tiny E. I was on a mission. So after exhaustive online searches I settled on a old fashioned brick and mortar store for my purchase. The store was even kind enough to provide a handy map and directions. Yes, my old friend online directions. I know they’re always wrong, I know they mean me harm... But.
I printed out the directions. There was a problem right off. While the map mentioned streets that are found on Dix campus, the streets they mentioned didn’t exactly have anything to do with getting off campus. It just seemed to be a random selection of streets. I’m glad they recognized that there are streets on Dix, it was a nice gesture. I wished it hadn’t been a rude gesture.
There is a major street in front of Dix. An artery if you will. It’s big. It runs right through town and it’s hard to get from point D on my map to point E if you don’t use that street. I mean, you could fly, but you’re just going to fly right over it. It’s hard to ignore.
My map did.
Ignored a lot of streets that you really kind of have to use if you are trying to get to where I was trying to get to. It turns out there were a lot of streets that my map just kind of ignored.
It wasn’t all wrong. Once, I found one of the streets and from there I did run across other streets mentioned on the map. They weren’t exactly where the map said they would be but I got excited every time I ran across one. At least I knew I was headed in the right direction. Kind of. I knew I wasn’t going in circles because I never did see a damn thing I recognized.
Against all odds, in the dark, in the rain, in a strange neighborhood and frankly, by accident - I found the store!
And it was closed, on account of the weather. I blame the schools.
Time for Plan B .
Today it pretended to snow again. The schools took the opportunity to drill what they would do if they actually were faced with a real weather related emergencey and were forced to close the schools.Someday, when we get actual, seriously bad weather - the school cancellation will go really smoothly. No panic, no stressing.
The scool system is damn good at it, all the driling it into the kids that bad weather= stay at home; it's not easy to train good habits out of them. But they do their best to make sure their students have no work ethic whatsoever. Those lessons has to last them into adulthood. They need to learn that if the streets are wet - they just shouldn’t risk it. The kids can’t read or write but damn it, they can deal with classes being cancelled like champs.
So. Since it was wet and cold and nasty and I wasn’t going to go to the park or walk Dogger under the circumstances - Gawd created fenced yards for a reason.
I went shopping instead. I still was looking for an appropriate baptism gift for Tiny E. I was on a mission. So after exhaustive online searches I settled on a old fashioned brick and mortar store for my purchase. The store was even kind enough to provide a handy map and directions. Yes, my old friend online directions. I know they’re always wrong, I know they mean me harm... But.
I printed out the directions. There was a problem right off. While the map mentioned streets that are found on Dix campus, the streets they mentioned didn’t exactly have anything to do with getting off campus. It just seemed to be a random selection of streets. I’m glad they recognized that there are streets on Dix, it was a nice gesture. I wished it hadn’t been a rude gesture.
There is a major street in front of Dix. An artery if you will. It’s big. It runs right through town and it’s hard to get from point D on my map to point E if you don’t use that street. I mean, you could fly, but you’re just going to fly right over it. It’s hard to ignore.
My map did.
Ignored a lot of streets that you really kind of have to use if you are trying to get to where I was trying to get to. It turns out there were a lot of streets that my map just kind of ignored.
It wasn’t all wrong. Once, I found one of the streets and from there I did run across other streets mentioned on the map. They weren’t exactly where the map said they would be but I got excited every time I ran across one. At least I knew I was headed in the right direction. Kind of. I knew I wasn’t going in circles because I never did see a damn thing I recognized.
Against all odds, in the dark, in the rain, in a strange neighborhood and frankly, by accident - I found the store!
And it was closed, on account of the weather. I blame the schools.
Time for Plan B .
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Yay!!!
Dear Amazon.com Customer,
Horcruxes and Hallows and Hogwarts, oh my! We know you can't wait to see your favorite wizards. Lucky for you, J.K. Rowling has just announced the date! "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" will be released on July 21, 2007. Pre-order your copy today at $18.89, a savings of 46%, and be protected by Amazon.com's Pre-order Price Guarantee*. You'll get your copy faster than you can say "Accio, Book 7!"
Dear Amazon.com Customer,
Horcruxes and Hallows and Hogwarts, oh my! We know you can't wait to see your favorite wizards. Lucky for you, J.K. Rowling has just announced the date! "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" will be released on July 21, 2007. Pre-order your copy today at $18.89, a savings of 46%, and be protected by Amazon.com's Pre-order Price Guarantee*. You'll get your copy faster than you can say "Accio, Book 7!"
Jesus! Mary! And Joseph!
With Tiny E’s baptism coming up I thought I would find her something appropriately religious in nature – I take my responsibilities seriously. I thought Baby’s First Rosary would be an easy get, also,not expensive.
Boy,was I wrong. First I have to find a Catholic Oasis in the middle of the King James Desert. This is not easy. In reality your garden variety “Christen” store is actually a Protestant store and they don’t tend to sell rosaries. Books about papists? sure would you like to see one about how Catholics worship statues or the ones about how Catholics don’t read the bible or are witches or some such ignorant clap trap. Whatever. Reason numbers 1-23 for not doing business with those places.
But. There is a Protestant Store in just about ever strip mall and more and more if you go in and ask where the rosaries are, the help is less and less likely to make a face and more and more likely to send you to the jewelry counter. Not the greatest but better than a snort and a comment about statues.
I would like a choice of rosaries. I want shiny ones and wooden ones and since this is for a baptism I want to see cute little pink ones and maybe some wooden ones in primary colors and then I would like to overthink the whole thing. I need choices for that. And I don’t want to pay a lot because I know if I paid more attention at church camp I could make one myself and wouldn't that be special and meaningful?! I suck at godmotherhood all ready! It doesn’t take special beads you know – they don’t have to be blessed or prayed over. It’s just beads. But sadly, I didn’t pay attention at church camp. I played poker for pencils at church camp.
Okay. So I went online. And rosaries were plentiful. Expensive! But plentiful. I was shocked. They wanted upwards of $80 for them. For rosary beads! And did you know there were Men’s and Womans rosaries? I had no idea. I thought one set was like another but apparently there is a difference. I had always seen them as being pretty gender non-specific but maybe I have always had a woman’s rosary? I mean, the stuff you learn online today.
I learned that the kind I’ve always had cord rosaries are what they call “plastic rosaries” in the biz. I also now know why they are the only kind I’ve ever had – they’re cheap.
But if you are too pious for mere plastic beads you can shell out the bucks for ”deluxe” set.. Maybe if you’re Mel Gibson’s wife… are break away, lets-face-it- heretical pseudo- Catholic sects even allowed to use officially sanctioned Roman Catholic Church approved tools or do they have to make their own? I mean how would any one know? I mean sure, Mel does walk around with a flashing "Hi! I'm a Heretic !" sign, but how about the others?
Do you think Mel saw The Da Vinci Code?
I think I found the right gift but am I being a bad Godmother-to-be if I shopped for it online? Do I have to make the pilgrimage to the store? I’ve been to Catholic Bookstores in the past and they are almost as scary as the “Christen” Stores. More so because I can’t blame any of it on “them”. If I saw Priest and Nun dolls at one of “their” stores I would raise holy hell.
With Tiny E’s baptism coming up I thought I would find her something appropriately religious in nature – I take my responsibilities seriously. I thought Baby’s First Rosary would be an easy get, also,not expensive.
Boy,was I wrong. First I have to find a Catholic Oasis in the middle of the King James Desert. This is not easy. In reality your garden variety “Christen” store is actually a Protestant store and they don’t tend to sell rosaries. Books about papists? sure would you like to see one about how Catholics worship statues or the ones about how Catholics don’t read the bible or are witches or some such ignorant clap trap. Whatever. Reason numbers 1-23 for not doing business with those places.
But. There is a Protestant Store in just about ever strip mall and more and more if you go in and ask where the rosaries are, the help is less and less likely to make a face and more and more likely to send you to the jewelry counter. Not the greatest but better than a snort and a comment about statues.
I would like a choice of rosaries. I want shiny ones and wooden ones and since this is for a baptism I want to see cute little pink ones and maybe some wooden ones in primary colors and then I would like to overthink the whole thing. I need choices for that. And I don’t want to pay a lot because I know if I paid more attention at church camp I could make one myself and wouldn't that be special and meaningful?! I suck at godmotherhood all ready! It doesn’t take special beads you know – they don’t have to be blessed or prayed over. It’s just beads. But sadly, I didn’t pay attention at church camp. I played poker for pencils at church camp.
Okay. So I went online. And rosaries were plentiful. Expensive! But plentiful. I was shocked. They wanted upwards of $80 for them. For rosary beads! And did you know there were Men’s and Womans rosaries? I had no idea. I thought one set was like another but apparently there is a difference. I had always seen them as being pretty gender non-specific but maybe I have always had a woman’s rosary? I mean, the stuff you learn online today.
I learned that the kind I’ve always had cord rosaries are what they call “plastic rosaries” in the biz. I also now know why they are the only kind I’ve ever had – they’re cheap.
But if you are too pious for mere plastic beads you can shell out the bucks for ”deluxe” set.. Maybe if you’re Mel Gibson’s wife… are break away, lets-face-it- heretical pseudo- Catholic sects even allowed to use officially sanctioned Roman Catholic Church approved tools or do they have to make their own? I mean how would any one know? I mean sure, Mel does walk around with a flashing "Hi! I'm a Heretic !" sign, but how about the others?
Do you think Mel saw The Da Vinci Code?
I think I found the right gift but am I being a bad Godmother-to-be if I shopped for it online? Do I have to make the pilgrimage to the store? I’ve been to Catholic Bookstores in the past and they are almost as scary as the “Christen” Stores. More so because I can’t blame any of it on “them”. If I saw Priest and Nun dolls at one of “their” stores I would raise holy hell.
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