Tell David Smith that making our war dead invisible and dishonoring their total sacrifice is counter to showing support for them.
David D. Smith, CEO
Sinclair Broadcast Group
(410) 568-1500 x1504
Friday, April 30, 2004
Yard Dog
I took Dogger on a different route today for our walk. I get bored walking the same routes day after day. It gets old. I think Dogger likes to mix it up herself a little, sniff new smells see new sights. I think so at least, for her part Dogger doesn’t say much either way and she keeps her inner dialogue to herself.
The new and improved route we took last the one I see people on with their dogs every morning when I’m turning into campus to go to work. I always wondered where they were going and why they were there. They are there because its pretty! And peaceful and it smells good. It’s right off the main road, across from the prison within site of death row, You would never know from the path. The only lifers on this side of the road are bunny rabbits, squirrels, song birds and flowering vines. A little creek burbles by. I felt like Snow White.
We came across the worlds slowest squirrel. It sat there for so long I was wondering if the squirrel had mistaken dogger for a lost deer. It came with a hair of getting up close and personal with the business end the not really a deer. I’m would have made a great chew toy for Dogger, she would have loved digging the squeaker out.
We had the best time. We even met another dog and some people and Miss Dagger behaved like a lady. She didn’t lunge at the people, hardly at all and she didn’t even try to taste test the little dogs ears, much. The little dog was yipping and yapping and trying to be all tough and thuggy. Dogger was all sweetness and light. The people even commented on how calm Dogger was. Dogger doesn’t have to be thuggy with yappy little dogs. She saves her thuggery for her chew toys and random people walking past the house - conveniently for both of them, out of her reach. The last thing I want is to look out the window and see Dogger playing tug of war with one of the drug dealers customers. Dogger has stronger jaws, weighs more and is in better shape then most of them but I’m afraid they are better armed.
By the time we came back it was twelve hours since her last meal and she was looking at me like what she imagines poor starving doggers must look like. After all, she had two rides in the truck and a long walk. She was exhausted! Sleeping all day, riding in the car and then a walk! Poor thing.
After I fed Dogger I mowed the yard. I had thought all this time that I had the mower set on the“Sir! Yes Sir!” New Recruit setting but instead it was set on “Just A Little off the top, I’m letting it grow out” Suburban mom
. I should have known. There are these raggy little flowering weeds that sit out there and smirk at me every night when I pull into the drive way. I look at and say “those little bastards are going to be first against the wall when the mower revolution comes”. But the little bastards get away from me every damn weekend! So I reset the mower and showed them Revolution. I kind of like those little flowering weeds in other peoples yards. They look cute in kind of a shaggy chic way. In my yard they look like ass and they must die.
I discoverd after mowing the back yard that it is like a balding man. I should barber the yard like you would barber a balding man, keep what little is there longer, it looks better. If it gets too short you see how sparse it really is. Sigh
I took Dogger on a different route today for our walk. I get bored walking the same routes day after day. It gets old. I think Dogger likes to mix it up herself a little, sniff new smells see new sights. I think so at least, for her part Dogger doesn’t say much either way and she keeps her inner dialogue to herself.
The new and improved route we took last the one I see people on with their dogs every morning when I’m turning into campus to go to work. I always wondered where they were going and why they were there. They are there because its pretty! And peaceful and it smells good. It’s right off the main road, across from the prison within site of death row, You would never know from the path. The only lifers on this side of the road are bunny rabbits, squirrels, song birds and flowering vines. A little creek burbles by. I felt like Snow White.
We came across the worlds slowest squirrel. It sat there for so long I was wondering if the squirrel had mistaken dogger for a lost deer. It came with a hair of getting up close and personal with the business end the not really a deer. I’m would have made a great chew toy for Dogger, she would have loved digging the squeaker out.
We had the best time. We even met another dog and some people and Miss Dagger behaved like a lady. She didn’t lunge at the people, hardly at all and she didn’t even try to taste test the little dogs ears, much. The little dog was yipping and yapping and trying to be all tough and thuggy. Dogger was all sweetness and light. The people even commented on how calm Dogger was. Dogger doesn’t have to be thuggy with yappy little dogs. She saves her thuggery for her chew toys and random people walking past the house - conveniently for both of them, out of her reach. The last thing I want is to look out the window and see Dogger playing tug of war with one of the drug dealers customers. Dogger has stronger jaws, weighs more and is in better shape then most of them but I’m afraid they are better armed.
By the time we came back it was twelve hours since her last meal and she was looking at me like what she imagines poor starving doggers must look like. After all, she had two rides in the truck and a long walk. She was exhausted! Sleeping all day, riding in the car and then a walk! Poor thing.
After I fed Dogger I mowed the yard. I had thought all this time that I had the mower set on the“Sir! Yes Sir!” New Recruit setting but instead it was set on “Just A Little off the top, I’m letting it grow out” Suburban mom
. I should have known. There are these raggy little flowering weeds that sit out there and smirk at me every night when I pull into the drive way. I look at and say “those little bastards are going to be first against the wall when the mower revolution comes”. But the little bastards get away from me every damn weekend! So I reset the mower and showed them Revolution. I kind of like those little flowering weeds in other peoples yards. They look cute in kind of a shaggy chic way. In my yard they look like ass and they must die.
I discoverd after mowing the back yard that it is like a balding man. I should barber the yard like you would barber a balding man, keep what little is there longer, it looks better. If it gets too short you see how sparse it really is. Sigh
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Disagreeing like cats and dogs
Diana Had a very long day at work so the little animals agreed to handle todays entry. Todays topic “You are What You Have Eaten”
Kitty - I own this. I am the King of mischief. There is nothing worth putting “up” beyond my ability to toss, push or throw it off to its death. I have broken things bigger than me. I have left a wake of destruction in my wake that is awesome. I make huge messes and get away with a scolding and cuddle.
Dogger - How many TV remotes have you eaten?
Kitty - I don’t eat things. I leave things shattered..
Dogger - Shattering stuff is not the same as eating stuff.
Kitty - How many times have you eaten something and been forcefully cuddled as your punishment? You eat things without knowing. You slobber on something and get yelled at and put in your box, I get moved. Cats’ know what they are destroying. Dogs destroy mindlessly.
Dogger - Mindlessly? you think for one moment I didn’t know I was chewing her favorite bra? Phhht.
Kitty - It was there and you were teething. Mindless.
Dogger - I plan what I’m going to chew.
Kitty - You’ll slobber over what is in front of you.
Dogger - Slobber? I’m not one of those slobbering breeds.
Kitty - What breed are you exactly? Tick Tock, if you don’t know...
Dogger - And you are what kind of Cat? . Is Fat an actual breed?
Kitty - I am Rubenesque.
Dogger - “Rubenesque” the fat kid who won that Talent Show? ‘Cause Kitty, you’re fat.
Kitty - Fluffy. I am Fluffy
Dogger - a couple of minutes ago you were Rubin Stoddard, now your fluffy?
Kitty - Why don’t you go gnaw on something?
Dogger - I get exercise, I walk every day. Nothing sticks to these hips. Do you have hips? Where do your legs go? Little tiny, spindly things.
Kitty - I can’t be spindly and fat.
Dogger - Your legs are spindly, your body is fat. You are a fat animal.
Kitty - How many cats do you know?
Dogger - I know you and your fat butt, I think that counts for at least two and if I count your dew laps, I know a lot of cats.
Kitty - You know a lot of cat . I am a lot of cat. And, I knock something off a shelve? I get fed. You knock something down? You get put away. Advantage Kitty.
Dogger - Fat Kitty. Fat increasingly slow Kitty. Keep knocking things to the floor. Wait. I’ve just learned to down, I’ll be down there, waiting.
Kitty - You forget Dog. Every part of me is sharp. You wait.
Diana Had a very long day at work so the little animals agreed to handle todays entry. Todays topic “You are What You Have Eaten”
Kitty - I own this. I am the King of mischief. There is nothing worth putting “up” beyond my ability to toss, push or throw it off to its death. I have broken things bigger than me. I have left a wake of destruction in my wake that is awesome. I make huge messes and get away with a scolding and cuddle.
Dogger - How many TV remotes have you eaten?
Kitty - I don’t eat things. I leave things shattered..
Dogger - Shattering stuff is not the same as eating stuff.
Kitty - How many times have you eaten something and been forcefully cuddled as your punishment? You eat things without knowing. You slobber on something and get yelled at and put in your box, I get moved. Cats’ know what they are destroying. Dogs destroy mindlessly.
Dogger - Mindlessly? you think for one moment I didn’t know I was chewing her favorite bra? Phhht.
Kitty - It was there and you were teething. Mindless.
Dogger - I plan what I’m going to chew.
Kitty - You’ll slobber over what is in front of you.
Dogger - Slobber? I’m not one of those slobbering breeds.
Kitty - What breed are you exactly? Tick Tock, if you don’t know...
Dogger - And you are what kind of Cat? . Is Fat an actual breed?
Kitty - I am Rubenesque.
Dogger - “Rubenesque” the fat kid who won that Talent Show? ‘Cause Kitty, you’re fat.
Kitty - Fluffy. I am Fluffy
Dogger - a couple of minutes ago you were Rubin Stoddard, now your fluffy?
Kitty - Why don’t you go gnaw on something?
Dogger - I get exercise, I walk every day. Nothing sticks to these hips. Do you have hips? Where do your legs go? Little tiny, spindly things.
Kitty - I can’t be spindly and fat.
Dogger - Your legs are spindly, your body is fat. You are a fat animal.
Kitty - How many cats do you know?
Dogger - I know you and your fat butt, I think that counts for at least two and if I count your dew laps, I know a lot of cats.
Kitty - You know a lot of cat . I am a lot of cat. And, I knock something off a shelve? I get fed. You knock something down? You get put away. Advantage Kitty.
Dogger - Fat Kitty. Fat increasingly slow Kitty. Keep knocking things to the floor. Wait. I’ve just learned to down, I’ll be down there, waiting.
Kitty - You forget Dog. Every part of me is sharp. You wait.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Better Living Through Letting The Other Guys Do All The Work
I think I’ve decided what I want. I don’t want to have to paint my own walls or deal with clean up. I want to live on a home improvement show!
Everything is so neat and tidy in those worlds. The walls get painted, the wood work gets done and there is isn’t a drop of stray paint anywhere. Their clothes are even more or less clean. They aren’t walking smurfs or white haired before their time. They glow. They just wander around watching the show’s elves do all the real work. Sure, the host may come by once ain a while and whine about getting stuff done, what a fake out, all that created drama - Of Course It’s Going To Get Done! It’s the whole point of the show, everything gets done,. No one spends the better part of a week with a damp dresser in the middle of their living room or have their basement full of even damper dresser drawers. If they are ever put out, they are put out “cute”. Bastards..
In also want a band of elves to do most of my work for me. I mean, I would some of it, the cute parts of it, the easy eye level work, no bending down. I might even use a step stool if the paint was thick and not likely to drip down my arm or get in my eyes. I hate that. I also think having a designer on site would be good too, I pick colors fairly well, but I am lost with furniture placement and fabric choice. I think the elves could also take stuff back to the home improvement store for me too. I think I should eat lunch over lunch. The elves would live for returning stuff to the store.
It would also be nice to have a lot of people around, people who could stay up late and finish all the jobs for me so I could sleep. I think the elves could also clean the brushes and deal with the paint pans too. The elves could also be responsible for supplying me with clothes that I could just throw away after I was finished for the day. I don’t like ruining my clothing. There are only many paint shirts one girl needs.
Where was Paint Shirt One? Paint Shirt One is hidden somewhere in one of my closets, safely away from the paint. Paint Shirt One is very sensitive to color and seems to prefer the richer colors, light blue would have made it depressed. I’m sure it is very sad it missed the stain experience, brown is such a rich color. And so stain-y so permanent in nature, so hard to get out. Paint Shirt Two is going to kick Paint Shirt One’s ass. Paint Shirt One is going to be all “Sheeeeit, you don’t know from stained until you have had bright red oil based exterior grade paint splashed all over you, you don’t know from stain. and then Paint Shirt Two is going to be all Red? Red is an okay color, with red you score a Halloween costume, splashed red paint is nothing. Brown Stain is mush worse, brown is just nasty.
My clothing and I are no longer on speaking terms, I need What Not To Wear to stage an intervention.
I think I’ve decided what I want. I don’t want to have to paint my own walls or deal with clean up. I want to live on a home improvement show!
Everything is so neat and tidy in those worlds. The walls get painted, the wood work gets done and there is isn’t a drop of stray paint anywhere. Their clothes are even more or less clean. They aren’t walking smurfs or white haired before their time. They glow. They just wander around watching the show’s elves do all the real work. Sure, the host may come by once ain a while and whine about getting stuff done, what a fake out, all that created drama - Of Course It’s Going To Get Done! It’s the whole point of the show, everything gets done,. No one spends the better part of a week with a damp dresser in the middle of their living room or have their basement full of even damper dresser drawers. If they are ever put out, they are put out “cute”. Bastards..
In also want a band of elves to do most of my work for me. I mean, I would some of it, the cute parts of it, the easy eye level work, no bending down. I might even use a step stool if the paint was thick and not likely to drip down my arm or get in my eyes. I hate that. I also think having a designer on site would be good too, I pick colors fairly well, but I am lost with furniture placement and fabric choice. I think the elves could also take stuff back to the home improvement store for me too. I think I should eat lunch over lunch. The elves would live for returning stuff to the store.
It would also be nice to have a lot of people around, people who could stay up late and finish all the jobs for me so I could sleep. I think the elves could also clean the brushes and deal with the paint pans too. The elves could also be responsible for supplying me with clothes that I could just throw away after I was finished for the day. I don’t like ruining my clothing. There are only many paint shirts one girl needs.
Where was Paint Shirt One? Paint Shirt One is hidden somewhere in one of my closets, safely away from the paint. Paint Shirt One is very sensitive to color and seems to prefer the richer colors, light blue would have made it depressed. I’m sure it is very sad it missed the stain experience, brown is such a rich color. And so stain-y so permanent in nature, so hard to get out. Paint Shirt Two is going to kick Paint Shirt One’s ass. Paint Shirt One is going to be all “Sheeeeit, you don’t know from stained until you have had bright red oil based exterior grade paint splashed all over you, you don’t know from stain. and then Paint Shirt Two is going to be all Red? Red is an okay color, with red you score a Halloween costume, splashed red paint is nothing. Brown Stain is mush worse, brown is just nasty.
My clothing and I are no longer on speaking terms, I need What Not To Wear to stage an intervention.
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Home Computer, Sweet Home Computer
Finally. The whole tour grind was really getting me down, as much as I loved collecting all those snowglobes and paper weights and groupies, it is good to be home. I have done more traveling then that little Expedia(tm) troll thing.
Mother Nature was all up in my face today. This afternoon she really needed to talk and frankly, she over shared. Once she started to open up it was TMI City. Despite Mother Natures need to let us all feel her pain, Dogger and I needed to walk.
That Mother Nature is a real bitch. We hardly got any walk at all before the sky started to look like a wet blanket and it began to drip all over us. Dogger does not like rain and she hasn’t learned to look at it as a surprise bath. Dogger only likes warm showers and only those because she gets many, many bones to help soften the blow. Dogger is not a natural born water dog, she had to be taught how to swim, if left to her own devises she would just sink like a stone and she’s never gotten to like swimming enough to do it on purpose, pity, she has large enough flippers to swim to Canada. She could be a great all natural outboard motor, and with gas prices being the way they are now... I could rent her out all summer! There are a lot of lakes around and many of them have prohibitions against power motes. I bet they wouldn’t have a problem with a dogger motor! she’s quite, more or less, she doesn’t leak petroleum products and what she does leak, is totally biodegradable. I think the Sierra Club would want to know about this alternative power source. It could put a lot of otherwise unadoptable big dogs to good use.
It would empty out the shelters, all those over sized dogs that just languish at those places until they are either put down or languish into furry throw rugs would suddenly be useful, local humane societies could finally get really nice facilities and it would be so good for those dogs self esteem and confidence and they would probably not eat small children because they would be too tired from being out boards all day that they wouldn’t have the energy to nosh on toddlers. I mean, people would take advantage of the dogs, because people in general suck, but if they worked their big dog too hard it would just eventually drown and leave them to die in the trackless deep or the muddy shallows or whatever. Boats sink.
I could just see it. Little dogs on little boats in the shallows, maybe with little kids at the helm! It would be so cute. Puppy Power! Those puppies would grow up to propel bigger boats and it would be a world of happy, useful dogs and their would always be leetle puppies at the lake to play with and lot’s of little kids would spend the summer around little puppies. Puppies who spend time with people turn into happy, well adjusted dogs, kids who spend time with dogs turn into happy well adjusted people.
Could you imagine all those puppies in swim class? All those tiny swim wings? All the Mama Dogs standing by with towels and cameras? I think the teachers would be German Short Haired Pointers named Lars, but maybe, for the puppies they would use Beagles so that they wouldn’t be that much larger then the students. I think on the first day of class they would throw a one of those Taco Bell dogs into the water to prove that there is no such thing as a dog too small to swim, Maybe a specially trained Cat for the non-sporting breeds. I
think it could work
Finally. The whole tour grind was really getting me down, as much as I loved collecting all those snowglobes and paper weights and groupies, it is good to be home. I have done more traveling then that little Expedia(tm) troll thing.
Mother Nature was all up in my face today. This afternoon she really needed to talk and frankly, she over shared. Once she started to open up it was TMI City. Despite Mother Natures need to let us all feel her pain, Dogger and I needed to walk.
That Mother Nature is a real bitch. We hardly got any walk at all before the sky started to look like a wet blanket and it began to drip all over us. Dogger does not like rain and she hasn’t learned to look at it as a surprise bath. Dogger only likes warm showers and only those because she gets many, many bones to help soften the blow. Dogger is not a natural born water dog, she had to be taught how to swim, if left to her own devises she would just sink like a stone and she’s never gotten to like swimming enough to do it on purpose, pity, she has large enough flippers to swim to Canada. She could be a great all natural outboard motor, and with gas prices being the way they are now... I could rent her out all summer! There are a lot of lakes around and many of them have prohibitions against power motes. I bet they wouldn’t have a problem with a dogger motor! she’s quite, more or less, she doesn’t leak petroleum products and what she does leak, is totally biodegradable. I think the Sierra Club would want to know about this alternative power source. It could put a lot of otherwise unadoptable big dogs to good use.
It would empty out the shelters, all those over sized dogs that just languish at those places until they are either put down or languish into furry throw rugs would suddenly be useful, local humane societies could finally get really nice facilities and it would be so good for those dogs self esteem and confidence and they would probably not eat small children because they would be too tired from being out boards all day that they wouldn’t have the energy to nosh on toddlers. I mean, people would take advantage of the dogs, because people in general suck, but if they worked their big dog too hard it would just eventually drown and leave them to die in the trackless deep or the muddy shallows or whatever. Boats sink.
I could just see it. Little dogs on little boats in the shallows, maybe with little kids at the helm! It would be so cute. Puppy Power! Those puppies would grow up to propel bigger boats and it would be a world of happy, useful dogs and their would always be leetle puppies at the lake to play with and lot’s of little kids would spend the summer around little puppies. Puppies who spend time with people turn into happy, well adjusted dogs, kids who spend time with dogs turn into happy well adjusted people.
Could you imagine all those puppies in swim class? All those tiny swim wings? All the Mama Dogs standing by with towels and cameras? I think the teachers would be German Short Haired Pointers named Lars, but maybe, for the puppies they would use Beagles so that they wouldn’t be that much larger then the students. I think on the first day of class they would throw a one of those Taco Bell dogs into the water to prove that there is no such thing as a dog too small to swim, Maybe a specially trained Cat for the non-sporting breeds. I
think it could work
Monday, April 26, 2004
Fun In The Sun
After much soul searching . Is this what I really want to do? , advise gathering “Is this what you would do? , research How do I do this?. I finally took the big leap and spent Saturday in the sun staining the tiles on my front deck, my clothing, my shoes, the driveway and The Kitty.
Oh, and I got some stain on my dresser too. I went to my local do it yourself place and did it myself. It would have been nice if there would have been some one handy to help me Do It Myself, but I guess that would run counter to the whole Do It Yourself thing that they have going. “Don’t ask us! Do it yourself!”, having a lackey around to tell me what it I was buying would be too easy and might cause me to not have to come back and buy the right stuff when I figured out what I bought was not the right stuff. Measure once buy twice.
Stain. intentionally permanently staining an object. How unnatural! How nice it would have been to actually have a wood stain instead of wood paint masquerading as stain. Stupid Gel Stain.
Brosky came over and helped me move the big enormous thing outside, prior to that I had to empty out the drawers which I did in a hurry, the night before as if I was practicing for some contest or was about to be tested on how fast I could clean out a dresser. Fast but not well was the verdict. I may never see my clothes again because for some reason I felt compelled to hide everything from what I don’t know, but I really had to get all the clothes away! And where they would be safe. Like I was preparing for some tee-shirt eating monster to come charging in.
I didn’t notice how many drawers my dresser had until I had to deal with each one on an individual bases. A lot is how many, many, many , many drawers. Big drawers, smaller drawers, really itty bitty drawers .I think they spent there time making more of the itty bitty drawers while I was spending most of the after noon painting the enormous dresser itself. Painting not staining. Staining would have been what I had wanted to do, not what I was doing. I had to move on and do with what I had. So I painted.
If I had planned on painting it , I would not have planned on painting it brown. I would have painted it white, a bit on the Shabby Chic side for the look I was going for, but I could have lived with it being painted white but ... I wanted to stain it! I wanted... I ... it’s brown! I have to move on past the brown dresser disaster and on to other things. Like fabric swatches.
The good thing about the painty stain was it did briefly give me the appearance of the dark pre-cancerous tan that I have always dreamed about possessing but was too cheap to go to Jamaica to get. My friends at work spend big money on getting that dark. Had I but known that the fastest way to that tan was spilling stain all over myself, I would have done it years ago. No more "Leche Legs" for me! I had that dark pre-cancerous tropical tan that people spend big money on and that dermatologists name their yachts after, "Come have some Fun In The Sun aboard the SPF 2 (BYO tanning lotion)" .
I suggested one of my friends at work that as a money saving tactic maybe instead of spending the cash on the fake bake she could just work out in her yard or walk her dog or something that might put her in contact with the actual sun that might produce an actual pre-cancerous natural tan instead of her pricey fake bake pre-cancerous tan,. She demurred. I guess microwaveing is not just for popcorn anymore.
After much soul searching . Is this what I really want to do? , advise gathering “Is this what you would do? , research How do I do this?. I finally took the big leap and spent Saturday in the sun staining the tiles on my front deck, my clothing, my shoes, the driveway and The Kitty.
Oh, and I got some stain on my dresser too. I went to my local do it yourself place and did it myself. It would have been nice if there would have been some one handy to help me Do It Myself, but I guess that would run counter to the whole Do It Yourself thing that they have going. “Don’t ask us! Do it yourself!”, having a lackey around to tell me what it I was buying would be too easy and might cause me to not have to come back and buy the right stuff when I figured out what I bought was not the right stuff. Measure once buy twice.
Stain. intentionally permanently staining an object. How unnatural! How nice it would have been to actually have a wood stain instead of wood paint masquerading as stain. Stupid Gel Stain.
Brosky came over and helped me move the big enormous thing outside, prior to that I had to empty out the drawers which I did in a hurry, the night before as if I was practicing for some contest or was about to be tested on how fast I could clean out a dresser. Fast but not well was the verdict. I may never see my clothes again because for some reason I felt compelled to hide everything from what I don’t know, but I really had to get all the clothes away! And where they would be safe. Like I was preparing for some tee-shirt eating monster to come charging in.
I didn’t notice how many drawers my dresser had until I had to deal with each one on an individual bases. A lot is how many, many, many , many drawers. Big drawers, smaller drawers, really itty bitty drawers .I think they spent there time making more of the itty bitty drawers while I was spending most of the after noon painting the enormous dresser itself. Painting not staining. Staining would have been what I had wanted to do, not what I was doing. I had to move on and do with what I had. So I painted.
If I had planned on painting it , I would not have planned on painting it brown. I would have painted it white, a bit on the Shabby Chic side for the look I was going for, but I could have lived with it being painted white but ... I wanted to stain it! I wanted... I ... it’s brown! I have to move on past the brown dresser disaster and on to other things. Like fabric swatches.
The good thing about the painty stain was it did briefly give me the appearance of the dark pre-cancerous tan that I have always dreamed about possessing but was too cheap to go to Jamaica to get. My friends at work spend big money on getting that dark. Had I but known that the fastest way to that tan was spilling stain all over myself, I would have done it years ago. No more "Leche Legs" for me! I had that dark pre-cancerous tropical tan that people spend big money on and that dermatologists name their yachts after, "Come have some Fun In The Sun aboard the SPF 2 (BYO tanning lotion)" .
I suggested one of my friends at work that as a money saving tactic maybe instead of spending the cash on the fake bake she could just work out in her yard or walk her dog or something that might put her in contact with the actual sun that might produce an actual pre-cancerous natural tan instead of her pricey fake bake pre-cancerous tan,. She demurred. I guess microwaveing is not just for popcorn anymore.
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Friday, April 23, 2004
The Good With The Bad
Remember a few days ago when I was doing a Congo line around my office because I had finally collected enough scratch to replace my dead computer? And I hauled off and bought a new one? it was a big day. Well, for me anyway. You might be enjoying the tour of public facilities and playing "catch that transmittable disease" or getting excited by playing the at home version of Law And Order, but frankly, I am way over it.
The other day I came home and there was a sticky note on my front door letting me know that UPS had been there. I am assuming that the UPS person took a quick look around the neighborhood, and after making sure his wallet was still where he left it, decided that he was not going to leave anything out where it could possibly be mistaken for carrion and get carried off by the neighborhood vultures. I understand that. He could have left it with the nice neighbors, but I don't exactly have a sign in the yard saying "This Way To The Nice People, Guaranteed Not To Sell My Stuff At The Flea Market Out Of The Trunk Of Their Car because ya know, that wouldn't be neighborly and might piss off the neighbors that would steal my stuff and sell it at the flea market out of the trunk of their car.
So. I grabbed the sticky off the door and rolled over to the library and looked up the address and got the directions to the UPS place and a nifty rash. They will wipe the screen off while you are still sitting in front of it but God Forbid they as much as dust the keyboards and the less said about the mice the better. Anyway I made plans to go to the UPS place the following day.
I find the UPS place, surprisingly and I only passed it up one time, Go Me! I waited around for a while and got rewarded with my box. Yay Box! I put it in the truck and went on my merry way.
And then I got home. I wasn't going to unpack it because it was nearing nine o'clock and I had a show to watch and I didn't really want to get into it with the machine just yet - Hey, Angel only has so many episodes left and I didn't want to half watch it. The show wasn't supposed to start just yet so I opened the box. I pulled out my new computer, mouse pad, mouse pad and keyboard, and approximately 378 different preloaded disks. All good. I did notice that among the 378 preloaded disks they included a pre-loaded AOHell disk even though I clearly told them that AOHell was not my choice and not the ISP I wanted pre-loaded This ended up being a sign of things to come.
I plugged everything in and sat down in front of the screen and prepared myself to be dazzled…
So far, nothing shiny.
Okay, it sings. Go it. My speakers do work!
Good, the screen is working, slicked right on, little messages from Dell, little messages from Windows. Okay. All systems go!
"Now Hit The Next Key" the machine sang at me.
I took the mouse and, and, nothing the pointer didn't even twitch. I moved the mouse again. Maybe it fell asleep or something. It's a version of Windows I haven't used before and maybe it does things differently.
No
Long story short, it never moved. I called tech support in Bombay; I switched the keyboard and mouse hook ups to see if maybe they were put in backwards or something. Nope.
So the good news is, I have a new computer, the bad news is, it doesn't work.
Edited to add, It Works Now!!!!!
Remember a few days ago when I was doing a Congo line around my office because I had finally collected enough scratch to replace my dead computer? And I hauled off and bought a new one? it was a big day. Well, for me anyway. You might be enjoying the tour of public facilities and playing "catch that transmittable disease" or getting excited by playing the at home version of Law And Order, but frankly, I am way over it.
The other day I came home and there was a sticky note on my front door letting me know that UPS had been there. I am assuming that the UPS person took a quick look around the neighborhood, and after making sure his wallet was still where he left it, decided that he was not going to leave anything out where it could possibly be mistaken for carrion and get carried off by the neighborhood vultures. I understand that. He could have left it with the nice neighbors, but I don't exactly have a sign in the yard saying "This Way To The Nice People, Guaranteed Not To Sell My Stuff At The Flea Market Out Of The Trunk Of Their Car because ya know, that wouldn't be neighborly and might piss off the neighbors that would steal my stuff and sell it at the flea market out of the trunk of their car.
So. I grabbed the sticky off the door and rolled over to the library and looked up the address and got the directions to the UPS place and a nifty rash. They will wipe the screen off while you are still sitting in front of it but God Forbid they as much as dust the keyboards and the less said about the mice the better. Anyway I made plans to go to the UPS place the following day.
I find the UPS place, surprisingly and I only passed it up one time, Go Me! I waited around for a while and got rewarded with my box. Yay Box! I put it in the truck and went on my merry way.
And then I got home. I wasn't going to unpack it because it was nearing nine o'clock and I had a show to watch and I didn't really want to get into it with the machine just yet - Hey, Angel only has so many episodes left and I didn't want to half watch it. The show wasn't supposed to start just yet so I opened the box. I pulled out my new computer, mouse pad, mouse pad and keyboard, and approximately 378 different preloaded disks. All good. I did notice that among the 378 preloaded disks they included a pre-loaded AOHell disk even though I clearly told them that AOHell was not my choice and not the ISP I wanted pre-loaded This ended up being a sign of things to come.
I plugged everything in and sat down in front of the screen and prepared myself to be dazzled…
So far, nothing shiny.
Okay, it sings. Go it. My speakers do work!
Good, the screen is working, slicked right on, little messages from Dell, little messages from Windows. Okay. All systems go!
"Now Hit The Next Key" the machine sang at me.
I took the mouse and, and, nothing the pointer didn't even twitch. I moved the mouse again. Maybe it fell asleep or something. It's a version of Windows I haven't used before and maybe it does things differently.
No
Long story short, it never moved. I called tech support in Bombay; I switched the keyboard and mouse hook ups to see if maybe they were put in backwards or something. Nope.
So the good news is, I have a new computer, the bad news is, it doesn't work.
Edited to add, It Works Now!!!!!
Thursday, April 22, 2004
See no Dead, hear about no dead, Know about no dead
What George Bush doesn't want you to know about from the Seattle Times. The woman featured in the interview that accompanys the photo this is what happened to her from CNN.Com
What George Bush doesn't want you to know about from the Seattle Times. The woman featured in the interview that accompanys the photo this is what happened to her from CNN.Com
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