Calling the dancing dead!
...the theme of this year's DHHS's State Employees Combined Campaign Kick Off will be Pirates of the Caribbean; which will be held in the Haywood Gym on Thursday, September 7th at 2 PM. We need Line Dancers! If you wish to perform please contact me so we can arrange rehearsals! This promises to be a lot of fun!...
...Because Pirates are all about the joys of voluntary giving, pirates are really all about sharing and caring and doing for others. Nothing blood thirsty or violent or thieving about pirates, the ones operating off Somalia are big givers to Toys For Tots.
Wednesday, August 2, 2006
Hot Time, Summer in the hemisphere!
Heat Taxes Utilities, Human Endurance . I’m not sure that this is common knowledge, but its summer where I am. It gets hot here in the summer. I’m hot, you’re hot, it’s hot here it’s hot there it’s pretty much hot all over. I bet it’s hot pretty much over the entire hemisphere. It’s August! If it wasn’t hotter then hell outside that would be news. I just think the P.R machine behind An Inconvenient Truth may have gotten out of hand. People are losing their minds! In Ohio, they are reminding the folks that there is less sun inside than outside, I knew the GOP had been in charge there too long - Residents Warned Not To Spend Time Outside In Heat. Duh. I went to Yahoo to look it up. Shockingly, we are learning, in August it's hot, hot, hot. Who would have thunk it?
When I went to look at it there were around 3000 references to the heat, I’m fairly certain that there is actual news being made out there, for instance, The War. Or more correctly, thanks to the largess of the Bush admin and their client states, the wars. Now, war is news. You even have your pick, are you bucking the trend and Bushcos wishes, still interested in Iraq? Or for you old school peeps,Afghanistan? Or for generation Ipod, Lebanon?
I almost forgot North Korea!. True, the wars got more hits than the heat, but the heat is gaining. It's a sexier story and there aren't any contentious red state/blue state issues.
Even Dogger is not above whining about it. I came home after work she was stretch out under the desk, where she was when I left her, you know, nine hours ago. She finally stirred herself and I dutifully took her out to relieve herself. Dogger poked her nose out the door and shook her head.
Me - Go pee.
Dogger - I’m okay.
Me - No. Out.
Dogger - It’s hot.
Me - and you would know that how?
Dogger - It smells hot. I got a breaking news bulletin from CNN and they said it was really, really bad. I'm going to hold it.
Me - Its okay.
Dogger - I don’t need to go out.
Me - Did you learn how to use the cat box?
Dogger - I’ve been restricting my fluid intake.
Me - That is contra-indicated, I read that on Yahoo.
Dogger - Lets go back indoors.
Me - It’s really not all that bad. Do you want to try the backyard? Why, I can remember The Summer of ‘80
Now, that was a harsh summer. 100 days of a 100 and over. I did learn though that you can’t really fry an egg on the side walk no matter how hot it is. I tried, when the street failed me I even tried it on a metal slide. The egg and side walk thing is a myth as is the egg and slide. It just doesn’t get hot enough.
That summer my Mommy decided that even though you couldn’t really fry an egg on the sidewalk, it was too hot for her baby birds to go outside themselves and she wanted us to not drive her insane inside so she packed us up and we all went out to California to see my Grandmother. I lived in Dallas, Texas and my Grandmother lived outside San Francisco. We went by bus. I’m not sure how far it really is but by bus it was 14, 235 miles. I’m not kidding. The bus stopped every three city blocks the whole way. The locals treated a cross country bound Greyhound like a crosstown ride to the grocery. For 14,235 miles. It took less time to get the settlers to San Francisco a 150 years ago then it took to get us from Dallas to the coast by bus in 1980.
But. This summer is not the summer of '80, it’s not even the summer that 500 people died in Chicago. It’s a little warm, it’s kind of hot, but its not newsworthy.
Heat Taxes Utilities, Human Endurance . I’m not sure that this is common knowledge, but its summer where I am. It gets hot here in the summer. I’m hot, you’re hot, it’s hot here it’s hot there it’s pretty much hot all over. I bet it’s hot pretty much over the entire hemisphere. It’s August! If it wasn’t hotter then hell outside that would be news. I just think the P.R machine behind An Inconvenient Truth may have gotten out of hand. People are losing their minds! In Ohio, they are reminding the folks that there is less sun inside than outside, I knew the GOP had been in charge there too long - Residents Warned Not To Spend Time Outside In Heat. Duh. I went to Yahoo to look it up. Shockingly, we are learning, in August it's hot, hot, hot. Who would have thunk it?
When I went to look at it there were around 3000 references to the heat, I’m fairly certain that there is actual news being made out there, for instance, The War. Or more correctly, thanks to the largess of the Bush admin and their client states, the wars. Now, war is news. You even have your pick, are you bucking the trend and Bushcos wishes, still interested in Iraq? Or for you old school peeps,Afghanistan? Or for generation Ipod, Lebanon?
I almost forgot North Korea!. True, the wars got more hits than the heat, but the heat is gaining. It's a sexier story and there aren't any contentious red state/blue state issues.
Even Dogger is not above whining about it. I came home after work she was stretch out under the desk, where she was when I left her, you know, nine hours ago. She finally stirred herself and I dutifully took her out to relieve herself. Dogger poked her nose out the door and shook her head.
Me - Go pee.
Dogger - I’m okay.
Me - No. Out.
Dogger - It’s hot.
Me - and you would know that how?
Dogger - It smells hot. I got a breaking news bulletin from CNN and they said it was really, really bad. I'm going to hold it.
Me - Its okay.
Dogger - I don’t need to go out.
Me - Did you learn how to use the cat box?
Dogger - I’ve been restricting my fluid intake.
Me - That is contra-indicated, I read that on Yahoo.
Dogger - Lets go back indoors.
Me - It’s really not all that bad. Do you want to try the backyard? Why, I can remember The Summer of ‘80
Now, that was a harsh summer. 100 days of a 100 and over. I did learn though that you can’t really fry an egg on the side walk no matter how hot it is. I tried, when the street failed me I even tried it on a metal slide. The egg and side walk thing is a myth as is the egg and slide. It just doesn’t get hot enough.
That summer my Mommy decided that even though you couldn’t really fry an egg on the sidewalk, it was too hot for her baby birds to go outside themselves and she wanted us to not drive her insane inside so she packed us up and we all went out to California to see my Grandmother. I lived in Dallas, Texas and my Grandmother lived outside San Francisco. We went by bus. I’m not sure how far it really is but by bus it was 14, 235 miles. I’m not kidding. The bus stopped every three city blocks the whole way. The locals treated a cross country bound Greyhound like a crosstown ride to the grocery. For 14,235 miles. It took less time to get the settlers to San Francisco a 150 years ago then it took to get us from Dallas to the coast by bus in 1980.
But. This summer is not the summer of '80, it’s not even the summer that 500 people died in Chicago. It’s a little warm, it’s kind of hot, but its not newsworthy.
Tuesday, August 1, 2006
When Kitty Comes Marching Home Again…
I need to bath Dogger. I needed to bath Dogger last week. I didn’t. I just wasn’t in to it; “It”, not being limited to just the soap and water aspect but the gathering of the towels, the empting of the bathroom of all things that do not need wet dog as an additive , the gathering and laundering of her bedding, the finding of replacement bedding, the gathering and laundering her wet towels and the whole remembering to put the whole mess in the dryer and then remembering that the whole mess is still in the dryer the next day… it makes me tired just thinking about it, all those trips up and down the basement steps…
She smelled last week. The kind of doggy smell that soaks into your furniture and is so overwhelming that if you are around it enough you don’t notice it – like cigarette smoke but with out the carcinogenic aspects but slightly more embarrassing to greet guests with, it says “Hi! I’m lazy!” it just says “dirty house”. My house is all ready quite visibly dirty so I don’t need the smell-o-vision to illustrate it to visitors. although if I were to entertain a blind person they might appreciate my efforts to share the experience with them - but there it is. I would clean the house but I can’t do that until after I bath the dog and lose the dirty dog smell. The whole idea makes me tired.
Any activity more complicated than finding the remote makes me tired. I did take Dogger for a walk over the weekend and that made me feel like less of a slug. It just means I left a lovely, glittery trail behind me.
I did make progress on getting the house ready for The Kitty to come home. I soaked his box and left it out in the sun to hopefully bake the bad, nasty impurities out of it. Poor Kitty. He’s all sick again and back on drugs and expensive vet food – which of course is making him sick again. He can eat one brand of cat food and one brand of cat food only. Everything else no matter how expensive it is going to make him sick.
Baby kitty has a very delicate system and it is better not to mess with it. He can have the One True Cat Food and the One True Cat Food only. True, the One True Cat Food has no nutritional value whatsoever and seems to have more along the lines of malnutritional values when you really get down to it - even I can tell he’s a couple of flies away from catching Angelina Jolies’ attention – but eating TOTCF he’s not acutely sick! He can go about his business with out waking anyone up in the middle of the night, and I do not have to sleep with air freshener under my pillow!
I am starting to think that the extreme weight loss works for him! Sure, he’s very, very… okay he’s painfullythin, but I’m getting used to it. That’s right, his lower GI health issues are all about my sense of cat weight aesthetics – as long as I am still okay with how he looks and he’s not waking me up in the middle of the night, he must be okay!
Shut Up. He and I have all ready clocked more time in various doctors offices over the past couple of years then I have since I aged out of my pediatrician.
I need to bath Dogger. I needed to bath Dogger last week. I didn’t. I just wasn’t in to it; “It”, not being limited to just the soap and water aspect but the gathering of the towels, the empting of the bathroom of all things that do not need wet dog as an additive , the gathering and laundering of her bedding, the finding of replacement bedding, the gathering and laundering her wet towels and the whole remembering to put the whole mess in the dryer and then remembering that the whole mess is still in the dryer the next day… it makes me tired just thinking about it, all those trips up and down the basement steps…
She smelled last week. The kind of doggy smell that soaks into your furniture and is so overwhelming that if you are around it enough you don’t notice it – like cigarette smoke but with out the carcinogenic aspects but slightly more embarrassing to greet guests with, it says “Hi! I’m lazy!” it just says “dirty house”. My house is all ready quite visibly dirty so I don’t need the smell-o-vision to illustrate it to visitors. although if I were to entertain a blind person they might appreciate my efforts to share the experience with them - but there it is. I would clean the house but I can’t do that until after I bath the dog and lose the dirty dog smell. The whole idea makes me tired.
Any activity more complicated than finding the remote makes me tired. I did take Dogger for a walk over the weekend and that made me feel like less of a slug. It just means I left a lovely, glittery trail behind me.
I did make progress on getting the house ready for The Kitty to come home. I soaked his box and left it out in the sun to hopefully bake the bad, nasty impurities out of it. Poor Kitty. He’s all sick again and back on drugs and expensive vet food – which of course is making him sick again. He can eat one brand of cat food and one brand of cat food only. Everything else no matter how expensive it is going to make him sick.
Baby kitty has a very delicate system and it is better not to mess with it. He can have the One True Cat Food and the One True Cat Food only. True, the One True Cat Food has no nutritional value whatsoever and seems to have more along the lines of malnutritional values when you really get down to it - even I can tell he’s a couple of flies away from catching Angelina Jolies’ attention – but eating TOTCF he’s not acutely sick! He can go about his business with out waking anyone up in the middle of the night, and I do not have to sleep with air freshener under my pillow!
I am starting to think that the extreme weight loss works for him! Sure, he’s very, very… okay he’s painfullythin, but I’m getting used to it. That’s right, his lower GI health issues are all about my sense of cat weight aesthetics – as long as I am still okay with how he looks and he’s not waking me up in the middle of the night, he must be okay!
Shut Up. He and I have all ready clocked more time in various doctors offices over the past couple of years then I have since I aged out of my pediatrician.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Open Wide.
My local Raleigh readers know that this weekend was the opening of Fayetteville Street to traffic or as it was portrayed by the local boosters in the media - the most important thing ever in the entire world. Totally.
Friday and Saturday were the big event nights. There were fireworks ( that just to note, they went on longer than the city's Forth of July display or I was hearing some sort of massive shoot out on Tarboro street) and street performers and a parade. The paper said there were 20,000 people in attendance. That says more for the lack of anything else to do in Raleigh then it does for the actual crowd pleasing nature of the event. I would have gone but it was hot and Dogger isn’t into crowds, and besides, if I am going to be an anonymous member of a big crowd I want it to be for a good cause, like ending the war or over throwing the administration. Also? It was too hot.
I didn’t know Friday was the big night anyway. I went to dinner with broskey and took my normal route home and couldn’t get there. They opened one street and closed all the others. That’s a great way to welcome the suburbanites back to downtown, make it impossible to get around once they get there. It’s very welcoming. Not. I was pissed off and confused and I live down there all ready. If I was coming in from the hinterlands it would have been a real turn off..
It would also be nice if there was any “there” there once you go there, one of the first things you see when you look down Fayetteville St. is a parking garage. They should have busted ass and handed out incentives to get stores in there, boutiques, gift stores, galleries anything, hey how about a library? I would ask for a movie theatre but I know that is too much to expect from The City of Raleigh. The only things I found along Fayetteville Street were Law Offices and a dead Hallmark store and a umber of closed resturants - very welcoming chamber of commerce! I for one would be happy if the damned Chic Fa Lay would change its hours so that it might be open more than six hours a day and closed all weekend, how about some Saturday hours? Or a few hours in the evenings? Everything downtown is closed all weekend. As Dogger and I were wandering around I saw a few places I might want to go back to some Saturday sans dog or after work, but they all closed at five on Friday and open at 9am Monday, this does not work for me or anyone else. If you want me to eat, shop, spend money downtown you must give me somewhere to spend it.. I can only do so much admiring of the architectural details
...before I want to buy a drink or a new blouse and lo and behold! There is no one open to sell me either. If I want anything I have to go home or go to outside the downtown area. Good going City Fathers. It’s about creating a permanent destination not just creating buzz about the odd special event.
Once you are there, there is no there there. The city need to get their shit together and really make an effort this time to make people come downtown and stay downtown and part one of this needs to be to make sure that the few stores and restaurants that are located downtown be open and ready for business over the weekends and in the evenings, if you want to give the impression you have a vital, happening downtown the side walks must not be allowed to roll up after 5pm.
My local Raleigh readers know that this weekend was the opening of Fayetteville Street to traffic or as it was portrayed by the local boosters in the media - the most important thing ever in the entire world. Totally.
Friday and Saturday were the big event nights. There were fireworks ( that just to note, they went on longer than the city's Forth of July display or I was hearing some sort of massive shoot out on Tarboro street) and street performers and a parade. The paper said there were 20,000 people in attendance. That says more for the lack of anything else to do in Raleigh then it does for the actual crowd pleasing nature of the event. I would have gone but it was hot and Dogger isn’t into crowds, and besides, if I am going to be an anonymous member of a big crowd I want it to be for a good cause, like ending the war or over throwing the administration. Also? It was too hot.
I didn’t know Friday was the big night anyway. I went to dinner with broskey and took my normal route home and couldn’t get there. They opened one street and closed all the others. That’s a great way to welcome the suburbanites back to downtown, make it impossible to get around once they get there. It’s very welcoming. Not. I was pissed off and confused and I live down there all ready. If I was coming in from the hinterlands it would have been a real turn off..
It would also be nice if there was any “there” there once you go there, one of the first things you see when you look down Fayetteville St. is a parking garage. They should have busted ass and handed out incentives to get stores in there, boutiques, gift stores, galleries anything, hey how about a library? I would ask for a movie theatre but I know that is too much to expect from The City of Raleigh. The only things I found along Fayetteville Street were Law Offices and a dead Hallmark store and a umber of closed resturants - very welcoming chamber of commerce! I for one would be happy if the damned Chic Fa Lay would change its hours so that it might be open more than six hours a day and closed all weekend, how about some Saturday hours? Or a few hours in the evenings? Everything downtown is closed all weekend. As Dogger and I were wandering around I saw a few places I might want to go back to some Saturday sans dog or after work, but they all closed at five on Friday and open at 9am Monday, this does not work for me or anyone else. If you want me to eat, shop, spend money downtown you must give me somewhere to spend it.. I can only do so much admiring of the architectural details
...before I want to buy a drink or a new blouse and lo and behold! There is no one open to sell me either. If I want anything I have to go home or go to outside the downtown area. Good going City Fathers. It’s about creating a permanent destination not just creating buzz about the odd special event.
Once you are there, there is no there there. The city need to get their shit together and really make an effort this time to make people come downtown and stay downtown and part one of this needs to be to make sure that the few stores and restaurants that are located downtown be open and ready for business over the weekends and in the evenings, if you want to give the impression you have a vital, happening downtown the side walks must not be allowed to roll up after 5pm.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Vacation Pictures!
I was going to wrote a normal entry but I had errands to run and that didn't leave much time for writing an entry. I decided that the posting some of the vacay pictures would be faster - I was wrong. More of Marquette MI 2006 can be found here, I will be updating the pictures as time allows.
I was going to wrote a normal entry but I had errands to run and that didn't leave much time for writing an entry. I decided that the posting some of the vacay pictures would be faster - I was wrong. More of Marquette MI 2006 can be found here, I will be updating the pictures as time allows.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Title
I was going to write an 800 word treatise on my various health complaints and how my much my job is kicking my ass - answer hugely, but I changed my mind. I don’t need to relive it and you don’t need to go there. Also Nephdog needed me and I got called away on a mission of mercy to help tend to him so I had to change my plans blogwise.
Instead.
I was slumped in front of the TV, eating some sugar free mini Reece's (TM) and feeling pretty smug about it. Yeah, I made a choice and it was a healthy choice. I didn’t have to ya know, I could have gone with the sugar version but noooooo, I went with the good and pure version instead. And so I’m slumped there watching MASH and I decided to go through my junk mail - some times there are freebies to be found and I have been burned by expired coupons. I ripped open an envelope because it said something was free and I like free stuff.
It was an ad for some magazine called Cooking with Cardboard or Your Colon, Your Self or maybe even You are Going to Get Cancer and Die!. The message being if you can actually taste what you are putting into your mouth it is going to kill you.
They enclosed a handy tip sheet to let us know what we should and should not be eating, for example, Sweet potatoes are good Marie Calender is bad.
Things that are bad that we should “NEVER EAT”. But really, would the people this magazine is aimed at ever eat these foods anyway? Isn’t it a bit like preaching to the choir?
1) Pepperidge Farm Chicken Pot Pie - it sounds really good, so of course its very, very bad for us. I make my own, so the warning is wasted on me.
2) McDonald's Chicken Strips and Burger Kings fries, Mrs. Fields cookies - What a surprise. I had no idea that vegans would want us to turn up our noses at random fast food. Gosh. I’m shocked that the chicken is salty or that the fries are 600 calories or that the quarter pound cookies might be bad for us. Nummy.
3) Haagan-Daz - Ice cream? Less then healthy? I am shocked I tell you shocked.
They also hate Campbell's soup, Hershey's Scoops, Starbucks blended cremes and anything from the Cheesecake Factory.
What do they approve of ? The TEN SUPER FOODS
Sweet potatoes. Grape tomatoes, skim milk. Blueberries - I can get behind that. Blueberries are tasty. Wild Salmon, none of that bourgeois farm raised salmon - that shit will give you cancer and play into the hands of the administrations plan to poison rivers and streams, ask David E. Kelly!, “crisp breads” A.K.A little bits of card board, Uncle Ben's wild rice - which lack “photo-chemicals” according to the hand out, I’m not sure what tribe Uncle Ben comes from but the only people I’d buy wild rice from (not that I would) but in general, were I to be running an errand for some one who would, I would only buy wild rice from those who sell it at the side of the road, no corporate wild rice for me, thank you very much, oranges “natures candy”, blah, blah... what really surprised me was the entries concerning pre-cut, pre-washed microwavable vegetables. Does some one have an all natural, guaranteed totally organic, farm raised, no added chemicals, anti-biotic free ax to grind?
I learned from the hand out though, I went to McDonald's and passed on the chicken and I'll never eat Burger King fries again.
I was going to write an 800 word treatise on my various health complaints and how my much my job is kicking my ass - answer hugely, but I changed my mind. I don’t need to relive it and you don’t need to go there. Also Nephdog needed me and I got called away on a mission of mercy to help tend to him so I had to change my plans blogwise.
Instead.
I was slumped in front of the TV, eating some sugar free mini Reece's (TM) and feeling pretty smug about it. Yeah, I made a choice and it was a healthy choice. I didn’t have to ya know, I could have gone with the sugar version but noooooo, I went with the good and pure version instead. And so I’m slumped there watching MASH and I decided to go through my junk mail - some times there are freebies to be found and I have been burned by expired coupons. I ripped open an envelope because it said something was free and I like free stuff.
It was an ad for some magazine called Cooking with Cardboard or Your Colon, Your Self or maybe even You are Going to Get Cancer and Die!. The message being if you can actually taste what you are putting into your mouth it is going to kill you.
They enclosed a handy tip sheet to let us know what we should and should not be eating, for example, Sweet potatoes are good Marie Calender is bad.
Things that are bad that we should “NEVER EAT”. But really, would the people this magazine is aimed at ever eat these foods anyway? Isn’t it a bit like preaching to the choir?
1) Pepperidge Farm Chicken Pot Pie - it sounds really good, so of course its very, very bad for us. I make my own, so the warning is wasted on me.
2) McDonald's Chicken Strips and Burger Kings fries, Mrs. Fields cookies - What a surprise. I had no idea that vegans would want us to turn up our noses at random fast food. Gosh. I’m shocked that the chicken is salty or that the fries are 600 calories or that the quarter pound cookies might be bad for us. Nummy.
3) Haagan-Daz - Ice cream? Less then healthy? I am shocked I tell you shocked.
They also hate Campbell's soup, Hershey's Scoops, Starbucks blended cremes and anything from the Cheesecake Factory.
What do they approve of ? The TEN SUPER FOODS
Sweet potatoes. Grape tomatoes, skim milk. Blueberries - I can get behind that. Blueberries are tasty. Wild Salmon, none of that bourgeois farm raised salmon - that shit will give you cancer and play into the hands of the administrations plan to poison rivers and streams, ask David E. Kelly!, “crisp breads” A.K.A little bits of card board, Uncle Ben's wild rice - which lack “photo-chemicals” according to the hand out, I’m not sure what tribe Uncle Ben comes from but the only people I’d buy wild rice from (not that I would) but in general, were I to be running an errand for some one who would, I would only buy wild rice from those who sell it at the side of the road, no corporate wild rice for me, thank you very much, oranges “natures candy”, blah, blah... what really surprised me was the entries concerning pre-cut, pre-washed microwavable vegetables. Does some one have an all natural, guaranteed totally organic, farm raised, no added chemicals, anti-biotic free ax to grind?
I learned from the hand out though, I went to McDonald's and passed on the chicken and I'll never eat Burger King fries again.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Dust off the baby book!
It’s baby’s first EKG!!
Yes, children, if your day didn’t start with dry heaves and end in a doctors office, I have you beat.
It was a normal day. I started the day with a little paralyzing anxiety over what fresh hell would be unloaded on me at work and then left for the day carrying a big bag of dread - you know, a normal Tuesday morning.
My trip to doctor land started really Monday, A.K.A. The Worst First Day Back From Vacation Ever. After the threats of hell and damnation in the morning, by the afternoon I was feeling kind of frantic and by chance I grabbed my wrist and said “Wow, that is one speedy pulse rate. Hmm, perhaps I should take my blood pressure - because I know how, and I work in an office where there are blood pressure cuffs wandering around, well actually, they aren’t free range blood pressure cuffs, we had to fence them in, you know, for their own protection - well, actually, there was an ugly non-consensual squeezing incident at an office party and we kind of became obligated to keep them locked up. It was part of a settlement.
Anyway, I managed to spring one and I set to trying to take my own blood pressure with an old fashioned, manual BP cuff. I have taken hundreds of vitals - other peoples vitals. I’ve taken so many I can feel comfortable calling them “vitals”. I have my own stethoscope - I rock vital signs Sprague Style. Despite my rockin’ vital taking experience, I haven’t taken vitals in five years. I have never taken my own. Do you know why? Its hard. And not hard like being president. Hard like trying to get the cuff thing, which isn’t really like the cuff on your pants, by the way, it’s not a circle, it’s what’s left over when you hem your pants. It’s like what would happen if you had to like reattach the piece back onto your pants - One handed! and then had to pump it up.
I forgot things about BP taking over the years. I sat there and tried to get the stupid thing on my arm and that took a long time. It was also kind of a stresser. You don’t need to be stressed while trying to get your blood pressure, it can affect your grade. In blood pressure the lower score is the better score. Like golf.
Anyway. I got the damn thing on and then I tried to pump up the pump. And tried, and tried and tried. Nada. Nothing. A lot of hissing. As I said, it’s been like five years. I really should have signed up for a refresher course or asked some one else to do it for me. There are like nurses coming out of the wood work here. But, I soldiered on. I figured out the hissing thing and I got a reading, part of a reading. I didn’t like the part I got. It was over par. Tiger Woods cried for me.
Later, I asked an actual nurse to do the honors and she got a better number - Tiger was sad, but dry eyed. She got both numbers and told me to call my doctor. I did.
I went home and found the number and called and found out they were all ready closed. Tuesday morning I called back and I got an appointment. Same day! If you want to get in to the doc, mention “high blood pressure” and “nurse said to call” . It gets you in.
When I went in to tell my boss I had a doc appointment why, she told me to “Get my shit together and just do my damn job and stop getting myself worked up about it”. She’s a social worker.
So. I went to the appointment. In the space of an hour I got A) my vitals taken, B) a UA (normal),C) an EKG (normal), and D) a blood panel drawn. No wonder they got me in, the whole thing was over faster than my last Happy Meal.
I also got, E) a proscription for a beta blocker.
It’s baby’s first EKG!!
Yes, children, if your day didn’t start with dry heaves and end in a doctors office, I have you beat.
It was a normal day. I started the day with a little paralyzing anxiety over what fresh hell would be unloaded on me at work and then left for the day carrying a big bag of dread - you know, a normal Tuesday morning.
My trip to doctor land started really Monday, A.K.A. The Worst First Day Back From Vacation Ever. After the threats of hell and damnation in the morning, by the afternoon I was feeling kind of frantic and by chance I grabbed my wrist and said “Wow, that is one speedy pulse rate. Hmm, perhaps I should take my blood pressure - because I know how, and I work in an office where there are blood pressure cuffs wandering around, well actually, they aren’t free range blood pressure cuffs, we had to fence them in, you know, for their own protection - well, actually, there was an ugly non-consensual squeezing incident at an office party and we kind of became obligated to keep them locked up. It was part of a settlement.
Anyway, I managed to spring one and I set to trying to take my own blood pressure with an old fashioned, manual BP cuff. I have taken hundreds of vitals - other peoples vitals. I’ve taken so many I can feel comfortable calling them “vitals”. I have my own stethoscope - I rock vital signs Sprague Style. Despite my rockin’ vital taking experience, I haven’t taken vitals in five years. I have never taken my own. Do you know why? Its hard. And not hard like being president. Hard like trying to get the cuff thing, which isn’t really like the cuff on your pants, by the way, it’s not a circle, it’s what’s left over when you hem your pants. It’s like what would happen if you had to like reattach the piece back onto your pants - One handed! and then had to pump it up.
I forgot things about BP taking over the years. I sat there and tried to get the stupid thing on my arm and that took a long time. It was also kind of a stresser. You don’t need to be stressed while trying to get your blood pressure, it can affect your grade. In blood pressure the lower score is the better score. Like golf.
Anyway. I got the damn thing on and then I tried to pump up the pump. And tried, and tried and tried. Nada. Nothing. A lot of hissing. As I said, it’s been like five years. I really should have signed up for a refresher course or asked some one else to do it for me. There are like nurses coming out of the wood work here. But, I soldiered on. I figured out the hissing thing and I got a reading, part of a reading. I didn’t like the part I got. It was over par. Tiger Woods cried for me.
Later, I asked an actual nurse to do the honors and she got a better number - Tiger was sad, but dry eyed. She got both numbers and told me to call my doctor. I did.
I went home and found the number and called and found out they were all ready closed. Tuesday morning I called back and I got an appointment. Same day! If you want to get in to the doc, mention “high blood pressure” and “nurse said to call” . It gets you in.
When I went in to tell my boss I had a doc appointment why, she told me to “Get my shit together and just do my damn job and stop getting myself worked up about it”. She’s a social worker.
So. I went to the appointment. In the space of an hour I got A) my vitals taken, B) a UA (normal),C) an EKG (normal), and D) a blood panel drawn. No wonder they got me in, the whole thing was over faster than my last Happy Meal.
I also got, E) a proscription for a beta blocker.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Back
So. I went on vacation. I had a great time. Super, even. I hardly worried about work at all. Okay, a little. A moderate amount. It turns out I should have never left. If I had been there, it would be different. I would have handled it. If I could go back to when I was scheduling my vacation, if I had arbitrarily picked the two weeks later just like I arbitrarily picked the dates two weeks earlier. I should have. God, my head hurts. But I would have missed that sunset! I would have missed out on so many things and people and joy. But. If I had missed those, I would also miss feeling like I do now.
I came back to an office that looked as though something had blown up in. I had met my boss as we were coming in and I asked her how things had gone, if there had been any major problems. “No”, she said “everything was quite”. Not quite. I walked into my office and no one had filed and there were charts stacked on top of the cabinets. Something very bad had happened here. My blood pressure started going up. But according to my boss, “everything was quite”.
My supervisor was straighter with me. It was bad. Very, very bad. She told me my boss told her on Friday that “things are going to change around here”, that “we’re going to get that room (my office) cleaned up! Things are going to be different” and “we’re going to reorganize peoples job duties around here.”. My supervisor also mentioned they were so upset that they wanted her to call me to ask me where it might be. I was 1200 miles away and not reachable by phone and my boss tells me “everything was quite”. I have a piles of stuff left to do and louds of bad energy floating around and I fear getting rid of those piles are going to be the easiest work I have to do.
It turns out they couldn’t find something. They looked and looked. They tore the room up. They thought very nasty thoughts about me. They talked a lot about me. My boss lied to my face when I asked her how everything went. I found the thing in question after I looked everywhere I thought they may not have looked. I looked where they should have all ready looked. It was there. When I announced I found it, I got bitched at because it was in the wrong place, that they had all looked where it was supposed to be and it wasn’t there. It was four inches from where it was supposed to be. I really hate my job. I really need my job.
So, later on today I get the whole story, the whole New Office Order. I get to find out how they plan on humiliating me. A trained chimp could do my job and I thought I was just the chimp to do it. I can’t even do a job a trained chimp could do. I fully expect to be treated like a trained chimp by the end of business. I’ve all ready sent out a couple of applications for other trained chimp positions with the state.
I had a wonderful vacation. I just wish I could have scheduled it for a couple of weeks later. Now I have to pray I don’t get sent on a permanent vacation. Did I mention my blood pressure is up? It is.
So. I went on vacation. I had a great time. Super, even. I hardly worried about work at all. Okay, a little. A moderate amount. It turns out I should have never left. If I had been there, it would be different. I would have handled it. If I could go back to when I was scheduling my vacation, if I had arbitrarily picked the two weeks later just like I arbitrarily picked the dates two weeks earlier. I should have. God, my head hurts. But I would have missed that sunset! I would have missed out on so many things and people and joy. But. If I had missed those, I would also miss feeling like I do now.
I came back to an office that looked as though something had blown up in. I had met my boss as we were coming in and I asked her how things had gone, if there had been any major problems. “No”, she said “everything was quite”. Not quite. I walked into my office and no one had filed and there were charts stacked on top of the cabinets. Something very bad had happened here. My blood pressure started going up. But according to my boss, “everything was quite”.
My supervisor was straighter with me. It was bad. Very, very bad. She told me my boss told her on Friday that “things are going to change around here”, that “we’re going to get that room (my office) cleaned up! Things are going to be different” and “we’re going to reorganize peoples job duties around here.”. My supervisor also mentioned they were so upset that they wanted her to call me to ask me where it might be. I was 1200 miles away and not reachable by phone and my boss tells me “everything was quite”. I have a piles of stuff left to do and louds of bad energy floating around and I fear getting rid of those piles are going to be the easiest work I have to do.
It turns out they couldn’t find something. They looked and looked. They tore the room up. They thought very nasty thoughts about me. They talked a lot about me. My boss lied to my face when I asked her how everything went. I found the thing in question after I looked everywhere I thought they may not have looked. I looked where they should have all ready looked. It was there. When I announced I found it, I got bitched at because it was in the wrong place, that they had all looked where it was supposed to be and it wasn’t there. It was four inches from where it was supposed to be. I really hate my job. I really need my job.
So, later on today I get the whole story, the whole New Office Order. I get to find out how they plan on humiliating me. A trained chimp could do my job and I thought I was just the chimp to do it. I can’t even do a job a trained chimp could do. I fully expect to be treated like a trained chimp by the end of business. I’ve all ready sent out a couple of applications for other trained chimp positions with the state.
I had a wonderful vacation. I just wish I could have scheduled it for a couple of weeks later. Now I have to pray I don’t get sent on a permanent vacation. Did I mention my blood pressure is up? It is.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
Vacationland pt.4
What I have read so far.
Joe Bob Goes To The Drive In, John Bloom
Ivans War, Life and Death in the Red Army 1939-1945, Catherine Merridale
Fort Apache The Bronxs, Heygood Gould
The Davinci Code, Dan Brown
Cross Bones, Kathy Reichs
Criminal Intent, Shelden Siegel
Endangered Species, Nevada Barr
Fraud, David Rakoff
Grasping for Airtime, two years on SNL, Jay Mohr
The Murder of Andrew Siegler, Glen Harry Carnes
Liberty Falling, Nevada Barr
Sacred Cows, Karen E. Olsin
No TV and it stays light until 10:30, you can only hike so much.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will leave for the Middle East on Sunday to address the Israeli-Hezbollah crisis, sources say.
1. Close eyes.
2. Look the other way.
3.Bury head in sand.
What I have read so far.
Joe Bob Goes To The Drive In, John Bloom
Ivans War, Life and Death in the Red Army 1939-1945, Catherine Merridale
Fort Apache The Bronxs, Heygood Gould
The Davinci Code, Dan Brown
Cross Bones, Kathy Reichs
Criminal Intent, Shelden Siegel
Endangered Species, Nevada Barr
Fraud, David Rakoff
Grasping for Airtime, two years on SNL, Jay Mohr
The Murder of Andrew Siegler, Glen Harry Carnes
Liberty Falling, Nevada Barr
Sacred Cows, Karen E. Olsin
No TV and it stays light until 10:30, you can only hike so much.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will leave for the Middle East on Sunday to address the Israeli-Hezbollah crisis, sources say.
1. Close eyes.
2. Look the other way.
3.Bury head in sand.
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