Hiya!


Well. Hi! Gee. There you are. Yeah. Here I am. I didn’t forget you. Nope. I was born ready, tell you what. I can totally see now why everyone else was all “See you January 3!”. I get it, now. I see the wisdom of the two week reader blow off. Those Bloggers don’t love their readers like I do. Those Bloggers have enough readers to blow them off. I lurve each and ever one of you, all 30 of you. Hi.

I wasn’t sitting under a blanket in front of the TV with Kitty curled up on my lap, admiring my tree and dozing off two minutes ago. That was not me. I was hard at work as Blogger Girl. Right.

I had a great Christmas. I got what I wanted and even the super secret stuff I thought nobody would think of. It would have been easier to say I want __________ but I think its more fun to make people guess and then wonder why you aren’t speaking to them.

Dogger and Kitty did real well. Dogger got a beeyootiful new collar. Its pretty pink gingham with actual flowers! Its so Dogger! Its really hard to find pretty collars for dogs the size of Dogger. Large dogs get no love from the dog collar fashion industry. The designers make a lot of really mean spirited, tiny dog centric, big dog bigoted fashion choices as well as grossly incorrect assumptions based on the dogs size. It doesn’t matter that the four pound pretend dog totally ripped the throat out some toddler - that dog gets a really cute ultra suade collar with reinstone flowers and a matching sweater.

My dog, who wouldn’t rip the throat out of a stuffed bunny gets to choose between an orange plastic glow in the dark model or a heavy, black leather thing with spikes that looks like a belt of a fat, psychotic dwarf, for the really well dressed angry dwarf. A fat psychotic dwarf with an attitude problem, but still, its not a good look for a happy, thin, Dogger. Its not her fault she’s as big as she is, I’m sure she would rather be a spaniel or a beagle, some really cute Small Breed. It’s hard to be a really cute Large Breed. Its even worse that all the Large Breed collars are for boy dogs. Big, not at all pretty, boy dogs. If I had a large, gay dog… It would be really hard to find the right collar - unless it was a really butch gay dog then the proto typical fat psychotic dwarf belt would be the best and sadly, only choice. But what about the large, nelly dog? Who clothes them? Are there no designers of fashionable collars for the style conscious Large Breed gay dog? Do they make gay pride collars for gay dogs? I mean, shouldn’t your gay dog be able to express itself through its personal style?

Kitty got new toys to first destroy and then hide under the couch. He did appreciate them and even tried them out for the fam. He got up off his furry butt and danced around a little. It’s nice when he bothers to do cat like things for people who aren’t me. It was a Christmas miracle. It was also really cute. He got off his furry butt for the cat nip, Dogger got a cow knee. Kitty got high but Dogger got happy.