Tired now

I did too much. I drove all the way home, mowed the lawn, did all the laundry, made dinner and took a shower. I should have just sat down and watched TV until I dozed off. But no, I had to get everything done. Note that “done” does not include the phrase “Return lawn mower to shed”. I did return the lawn mower to the shed but it wasn’t until almost eleven o’clock at night and there are things that I can do in the dark and one of them isn’t “get mower in shed”, it can be done, but it isn’t easy and it wasn’t fun and I was in my night gown. So it wasn’t pretty either. My next project is going to be emptying the shed and only returning to the shed the items I put there in the first place. I do not think that the past owners are going to get their feelings hurt if I make some tough housing decisions regarding their old folding chair and ancient paint cans and those items future as habitants of the shed, those decisions made, I’m going to poison the shed like I’m the Pentagon and its Cambodia.

At lunch I took a Cosmo quiz from a months old Cosmopolitan. It turns out much to my shock, I am Fun To Be Around . It’s good to know. I did have to fudge a bit on the questions, as I don’t have a lot of experience being asked to run off to Costa Rica to go cliff diving - so I kind of had to fake my way through the quiz. It turns out even though I would first have to some “online research about cliff diving”, I am still “fun to be around”. I’m not sure what online research I would do regarding cliff diving, it seems kind of self explanatory – Find a cliff and dive off it. Maybe I could research what kind of bathing suit style is the best for cliff diving? Or whether or not I should remove my piercings? Find out if my birth control will stay in place on the way down? I guess a true Fun Cosmo Girl would query “Should I feel him up on the way down?” answer : Whatever you are comfortable with! “Once in the water is a celebratory quickie the way to go or should we wait?” .

What am I talking about? Cosmo girls don’t wait, A Cosmo girl would mount her boyfriend as they plunged over the cliff and bang them on the way as they were hurtling towards the water! I don’t know what else Cosmo girls research online; according to the magazine they have they think about sex about as often as 14 year old boys think about sex but as Cosmo girls they have access to really good sex . Plus they all have really cool, sexy, fulfilling jobs and they have lots of hot sex with their hotty boss – and those who don’t have cool, sexy and fulfilling jobs and are tragically not humping their unhot boss have no problem telling their uncool, unfulfilling, unhotty bosses to take their uncool, unsexy, unfulfilling jobs and stuff them because they are just too Cosmo to stay there any more.

And the even bigger question, what the hell was Avril Leguin ( I totally do not care enough about her to bother looking up how to spell her name correctly. Ska8r Boi would understand) doing on the cover of Cosmo? Wasn’t she like way, way, way too “punk rock” for this kind of mag? And when did she become a blond? How unpunk unrock of her.


New Feature alert! in honor of summer being all offically started and everything, I will now keep track of the gas prices the gas pirates are charging at my corner. Last Friday they were $1.97, by tuesday afternoon they were at $1.99.