Rescue Them

I watch a lot of TV and from what I have learned so far is that all women on TV, can kick ass better then any man, they are smarter, pretty and always right. Even when they are dead wrong and dumb as a stump they are right and still smarter then anyone with a penis. It pisses me off, because I’m a woman and I make mistakes, I’m wrong sometimes and I can not kick ass. It’s depressing to see all the women on TV be uniformly a lot better at everything they do then I am; hands down it doesn’t matter what they try to do, they will do it really well - And on the off chance they do make a mistake, it’s not really a mistake because it turns out that they save a drowning family and solve the Big Problem anyway.

But on Rescue Me, the female characters are no more likely to be right then the men! In that world, everyone makes bad decisions! everyone makes a fool of him or herself! Some of them are doing jobs they shouldn’t be, men and women. It like real life, but with a better script.

The woman firefighter in particular was roasted over the flames on various forums because she came to the realization that she was not cut out for her job. She made the call, no one told her to step back, no one bullied her into it, she made her own decision. It broke her heart, but she did what she had to do. She was too small, not strong enough and just wasn’t cut out for the gig. She was 89 lbs with a killer bod and she still could not save the world! Which is shocking because over the last few years we’re been taught that if you were a woman and you weren’t 89 lbs with a killer bod, you did not possesses the applicable World Saving Skills and she was accused of shaming women everywhere and setting back everything that has been gained over the last 50 years. Whatever.

I get tired of 19 year old, 89 lb, 5’0 blond chicks saving an “I’m Right, You’re Wrong” world made of balsa wood and populated by stunt people. It’s easy to do with a blue screen and a raft of look a like stunt people standing by to do the really hard stuff. But it’s not real. I want a 36 year 5’10 160 lb woman to come and start shooting the bad guys while she Saves The World. I don’t need some tubby Fat Acceptance super chick to roll out of the dark to squish the bad guy and confuse him with her fabulous wit if he proves to be unsquishable, but stupid.

How about an actual, trained, female cop with a gun and pepper spray? Why! Why is always hand to-hand combat? Why can’t the 89 lb super hero just shoot the bad guy from behind a car every once and a while? And you know? My itty bitty little self worth wasn’t bruised in anyway because the firefighter who fell out on Rescue Me was the girl. It would have been bruised if she stayed 30 lbs under weight and 8 inches too short for the job and still kicked ass. In real life female fire fighters look a lot like the men. Bigger, stronger and tougher then you are.

Speaking of TV. The season has started and Rescue Me ended, I suggest Bones on Tiesday Nights and Head Cases and Wednesdays. I know, I know they are both on FAUX… that is a problem, but do you really want to watch NBC’s E-Ring?, I mean, really? Did you know Dennis Hopper is a Bushite? He voted for Bush twice? If that isn’t a Don’t Do Drugs message as well as a “Don’t Watch E Ring message, I don’t know what is.