Open Wide.

My local Raleigh readers know that this weekend was the opening of Fayetteville Street to traffic or as it was portrayed by the local boosters in the media - the most important thing ever in the entire world. Totally.



Friday and Saturday were the big event nights. There were fireworks ( that just to note, they went on longer than the city's Forth of July display or I was hearing some sort of massive shoot out on Tarboro street) and street performers and a parade. The paper said there were 20,000 people in attendance. That says more for the lack of anything else to do in Raleigh then it does for the actual crowd pleasing nature of the event. I would have gone but it was hot and Dogger isn’t into crowds, and besides, if I am going to be an anonymous member of a big crowd I want it to be for a good cause, like ending the war or over throwing the administration. Also? It was too hot.

I didn’t know Friday was the big night anyway. I went to dinner with broskey and took my normal route home and couldn’t get there. They opened one street and closed all the others. That’s a great way to welcome the suburbanites back to downtown, make it impossible to get around once they get there. It’s very welcoming. Not. I was pissed off and confused and I live down there all ready. If I was coming in from the hinterlands it would have been a real turn off..

It would also be nice if there was any “there” there once you go there, one of the first things you see when you look down Fayetteville St. is a parking garage. They should have busted ass and handed out incentives to get stores in there, boutiques, gift stores, galleries anything, hey how about a library? I would ask for a movie theatre but I know that is too much to expect from The City of Raleigh. The only things I found along Fayetteville Street were Law Offices and a dead Hallmark store and a umber of closed resturants - very welcoming chamber of commerce! I for one would be happy if the damned Chic Fa Lay would change its hours so that it might be open more than six hours a day and closed all weekend, how about some Saturday hours? Or a few hours in the evenings? Everything downtown is closed all weekend. As Dogger and I were wandering around I saw a few places I might want to go back to some Saturday sans dog or after work, but they all closed at five on Friday and open at 9am Monday, this does not work for me or anyone else. If you want me to eat, shop, spend money downtown you must give me somewhere to spend it.. I can only do so much admiring of the architectural details

...before I want to buy a drink or a new blouse and lo and behold! There is no one open to sell me either. If I want anything I have to go home or go to outside the downtown area. Good going City Fathers. It’s about creating a permanent destination not just creating buzz about the odd special event.

Once you are there, there is no there there. The city need to get their shit together and really make an effort this time to make people come downtown and stay downtown and part one of this needs to be to make sure that the few stores and restaurants that are located downtown be open and ready for business over the weekends and in the evenings, if you want to give the impression you have a vital, happening downtown the side walks must not be allowed to roll up after 5pm.

HAPPY SUNDAY !!!!!!!

HAPPY SATURDAY !!!!!

Friday I miss my Cat! Blogging

Vacation Pictures!

I was going to wrote a normal entry but I had errands to run and that didn't leave much time for writing an entry. I decided that the posting some of the vacay pictures would be faster - I was wrong. More of Marquette MI 2006 can be found here, I will be updating the pictures as time allows.

Title

I was going to write an 800 word treatise on my various health complaints and how my much my job is kicking my ass - answer hugely, but I changed my mind. I don’t need to relive it and you don’t need to go there. Also Nephdog needed me and I got called away on a mission of mercy to help tend to him so I had to change my plans blogwise.

Instead.

I was slumped in front of the TV, eating some sugar free mini Reece's (TM) and feeling pretty smug about it. Yeah, I made a choice and it was a healthy choice. I didn’t have to ya know, I could have gone with the sugar version but noooooo, I went with the good and pure version instead. And so I’m slumped there watching MASH and I decided to go through my junk mail - some times there are freebies to be found and I have been burned by expired coupons. I ripped open an envelope because it said something was free and I like free stuff.

It was an ad for some magazine called Cooking with Cardboard or Your Colon, Your Self or maybe even You are Going to Get Cancer and Die!. The message being if you can actually taste what you are putting into your mouth it is going to kill you.

They enclosed a handy tip sheet to let us know what we should and should not be eating, for example, Sweet potatoes are good Marie Calender is bad.

Things that are bad that we should “NEVER EAT”. But really, would the people this magazine is aimed at ever eat these foods anyway? Isn’t it a bit like preaching to the choir?

1) Pepperidge Farm Chicken Pot Pie - it sounds really good, so of course its very, very bad for us. I make my own, so the warning is wasted on me.

2) McDonald's Chicken Strips and Burger Kings fries, Mrs. Fields cookies - What a surprise. I had no idea that vegans would want us to turn up our noses at random fast food. Gosh. I’m shocked that the chicken is salty or that the fries are 600 calories or that the quarter pound cookies might be bad for us. Nummy.

3) Haagan-Daz - Ice cream? Less then healthy? I am shocked I tell you shocked.

They also hate Campbell's soup, Hershey's Scoops, Starbucks blended cremes and anything from the Cheesecake Factory.

What do they approve of ? The TEN SUPER FOODS

Sweet potatoes. Grape tomatoes, skim milk. Blueberries - I can get behind that. Blueberries are tasty. Wild Salmon, none of that bourgeois farm raised salmon - that shit will give you cancer and play into the hands of the administrations plan to poison rivers and streams, ask David E. Kelly!, “crisp breads” A.K.A little bits of card board, Uncle Ben's wild rice - which lack “photo-chemicals” according to the hand out, I’m not sure what tribe Uncle Ben comes from but the only people I’d buy wild rice from (not that I would) but in general, were I to be running an errand for some one who would, I would only buy wild rice from those who sell it at the side of the road, no corporate wild rice for me, thank you very much, oranges “natures candy”, blah, blah... what really surprised me was the entries concerning pre-cut, pre-washed microwavable vegetables. Does some one have an all natural, guaranteed totally organic, farm raised, no added chemicals, anti-biotic free ax to grind?

I learned from the hand out though, I went to McDonald's and passed on the chicken and I'll never eat Burger King fries again.

Duh.

-- Andrea Yates was insane when she drowned her children in a bathtub, jury finds.

from CNN.com

Dust off the baby book!

It’s baby’s first EKG!!

Yes, children, if your day didn’t start with dry heaves and end in a doctors office, I have you beat.

It was a normal day. I started the day with a little paralyzing anxiety over what fresh hell would be unloaded on me at work and then left for the day carrying a big bag of dread - you know, a normal Tuesday morning.

My trip to doctor land started really Monday, A.K.A. The Worst First Day Back From Vacation Ever. After the threats of hell and damnation in the morning, by the afternoon I was feeling kind of frantic and by chance I grabbed my wrist and said “Wow, that is one speedy pulse rate. Hmm, perhaps I should take my blood pressure - because I know how, and I work in an office where there are blood pressure cuffs wandering around, well actually, they aren’t free range blood pressure cuffs, we had to fence them in, you know, for their own protection - well, actually, there was an ugly non-consensual squeezing incident at an office party and we kind of became obligated to keep them locked up. It was part of a settlement.

Anyway, I managed to spring one and I set to trying to take my own blood pressure with an old fashioned, manual BP cuff. I have taken hundreds of vitals - other peoples vitals. I’ve taken so many I can feel comfortable calling them “vitals”. I have my own stethoscope - I rock vital signs Sprague Style. Despite my rockin’ vital taking experience, I haven’t taken vitals in five years. I have never taken my own. Do you know why? Its hard. And not hard like being president. Hard like trying to get the cuff thing, which isn’t really like the cuff on your pants, by the way, it’s not a circle, it’s what’s left over when you hem your pants. It’s like what would happen if you had to like reattach the piece back onto your pants - One handed! and then had to pump it up.

I forgot things about BP taking over the years. I sat there and tried to get the stupid thing on my arm and that took a long time. It was also kind of a stresser. You don’t need to be stressed while trying to get your blood pressure, it can affect your grade. In blood pressure the lower score is the better score. Like golf.

Anyway. I got the damn thing on and then I tried to pump up the pump. And tried, and tried and tried. Nada. Nothing. A lot of hissing. As I said, it’s been like five years. I really should have signed up for a refresher course or asked some one else to do it for me. There are like nurses coming out of the wood work here. But, I soldiered on. I figured out the hissing thing and I got a reading, part of a reading. I didn’t like the part I got. It was over par. Tiger Woods cried for me.

Later, I asked an actual nurse to do the honors and she got a better number - Tiger was sad, but dry eyed. She got both numbers and told me to call my doctor. I did.

I went home and found the number and called and found out they were all ready closed. Tuesday morning I called back and I got an appointment. Same day! If you want to get in to the doc, mention “high blood pressure” and “nurse said to call” . It gets you in.

When I went in to tell my boss I had a doc appointment why, she told me to “Get my shit together and just do my damn job and stop getting myself worked up about it”. She’s a social worker.

So. I went to the appointment. In the space of an hour I got A) my vitals taken, B) a UA (normal),C) an EKG (normal), and D) a blood panel drawn. No wonder they got me in, the whole thing was over faster than my last Happy Meal.

I also got, E) a proscription for a beta blocker.

Back

So. I went on vacation. I had a great time. Super, even. I hardly worried about work at all. Okay, a little. A moderate amount. It turns out I should have never left. If I had been there, it would be different. I would have handled it. If I could go back to when I was scheduling my vacation, if I had arbitrarily picked the two weeks later just like I arbitrarily picked the dates two weeks earlier. I should have. God, my head hurts. But I would have missed that sunset! I would have missed out on so many things and people and joy. But. If I had missed those, I would also miss feeling like I do now.

I came back to an office that looked as though something had blown up in. I had met my boss as we were coming in and I asked her how things had gone, if there had been any major problems. “No”, she said “everything was quite”. Not quite. I walked into my office and no one had filed and there were charts stacked on top of the cabinets. Something very bad had happened here. My blood pressure started going up. But according to my boss, “everything was quite”.

My supervisor was straighter with me. It was bad. Very, very bad. She told me my boss told her on Friday that “things are going to change around here”, that “we’re going to get that room (my office) cleaned up! Things are going to be different” and “we’re going to reorganize peoples job duties around here.”. My supervisor also mentioned they were so upset that they wanted her to call me to ask me where it might be. I was 1200 miles away and not reachable by phone and my boss tells me “everything was quite”. I have a piles of stuff left to do and louds of bad energy floating around and I fear getting rid of those piles are going to be the easiest work I have to do.

It turns out they couldn’t find something. They looked and looked. They tore the room up. They thought very nasty thoughts about me. They talked a lot about me. My boss lied to my face when I asked her how everything went. I found the thing in question after I looked everywhere I thought they may not have looked. I looked where they should have all ready looked. It was there. When I announced I found it, I got bitched at because it was in the wrong place, that they had all looked where it was supposed to be and it wasn’t there. It was four inches from where it was supposed to be. I really hate my job. I really need my job.

So, later on today I get the whole story, the whole New Office Order. I get to find out how they plan on humiliating me. A trained chimp could do my job and I thought I was just the chimp to do it. I can’t even do a job a trained chimp could do. I fully expect to be treated like a trained chimp by the end of business. I’ve all ready sent out a couple of applications for other trained chimp positions with the state.

I had a wonderful vacation. I just wish I could have scheduled it for a couple of weeks later. Now I have to pray I don’t get sent on a permanent vacation. Did I mention my blood pressure is up? It is.

Back to Realityland


photo by Christine Dingman, 2006


Back to the routine. I am so tired, so very, very, very tired. I will return to regular posting soon. So tired, so very, very, very tired.

Vacationland pt.4

What I have read so far.

Joe Bob Goes To The Drive In, John Bloom

Ivans War, Life and Death in the Red Army 1939-1945, Catherine Merridale

Fort Apache The Bronxs, Heygood Gould

The Davinci Code, Dan Brown

Cross Bones, Kathy Reichs

Criminal Intent, Shelden Siegel

Endangered Species, Nevada Barr

Fraud, David Rakoff

Grasping for Airtime, two years on SNL, Jay Mohr

The Murder of Andrew Siegler, Glen Harry Carnes

Liberty Falling, Nevada Barr

Sacred Cows, Karen E. Olsin


No TV and it stays light until 10:30, you can only hike so much.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will leave for the Middle East on Sunday to address the Israeli-Hezbollah crisis, sources say.

1. Close eyes.
2. Look the other way.
3.Bury head in sand.

Vacationland pt. 3

It was eleven thousand degrees the other day. You can check, go to the weather.com site of your choice and look up "Upper Peninsula" and it will say "High of 11,000, low of 85,00. Partly cloudy, chance of scattered showers".

So of course I went for a hike. Through the woods. I was dressed for the job - shorts, tee shirt, cute sneakers. By the time I was half way down the street it turned out that it was an optical allusion. I was really wearing a head to toe rubber cat suit and cute sneakers. It was a little humid.

I don't see the point of going on twenty mile hikes just to be able to say I went on a twenty mile hike. One is braggery and another its an exercise in exercise. If you want to walk twenty miles on a regular bases, stay home and buy a tread mill. Vacation isn't not mean to be endured.

When I go for a hike, I look for the road less traveled or a deer path, whatever is better marked. So I started out. I kind of knew where I was going and what I wanted to see when I got there - i.e something lovely and photogenic and with a USB plug.

I know that nice hikers stay on the trail and it is very bad to go off trail - but if they really wanted you to stay on the trail they would arrange for something interesting to be on the trail. Sadly, the longer the trail is the trail the less likely anything interesting is to be near it. Anything interesting along the trail has long moved off the trail.

I had a thought after I spent two hours crouched in black mud taking photos of a 15 foot stretch of creek (I got some great shots, sneakers no longer as cute). It was huge fun for me, but in general I doubt anyone else would think so. I decided that I should be less judgemental of people who think twenty mile hikes are huge fun.

(edited to edit)

Vacationland pt.2

I should point out that when my plane landed it was 48 degrees with a sharp north wind blowing. I was clearly not in the land of Dixie any more. Good.

It was a few considerably warmer days later, that I found myself wondering if I would get laughed at if I went to a tanning place and asked if I could fake bake my feet. I had spent a glorious fly-free day on the beach reading a book and I neglected to take off my shoes! two days later: I can't wear sandal's!!! my feet do not look as though they belong with the rest of my legs. My legs however, look great.

From Vacationland

You know you are going to have a loooonnnnnggggg day when you are obediently, are outside with your bags waiting for your cab - so that you do not waste the cab drivers time with your petty bag gathering and door locking - and you notice that oddly, that the very important Mr. Cab Driver should be here now and then you look at the time and notice that by now not only should he all ready ahve arrived but that you should be in a cab heading for the airport but that oddly, you are still obediently sitting at your doorstep. I called the cab company and asked where my cab was. I was told he would be there in "two minutes". I said then he would be a total of 12 minutes late. My cab did get there, four minutes later and the first thing the man said to me was "Do you know how to get to the airport from here?". I huffed and made it clear to Mr. Driver that if I could get myself to the airport I would not be in need of his services.

He did finally get me to the airport.

Did you know that the Chicago airport is so fancy and so important that they have a McPucks? It's a take out version of Wolfgang Pucks'resterant - for those too fancy, hurried and important for more plebian take out.

HAPPY SATURDAY !!!!!!

Friday "My vacation starts now and I am outta here!!!" Cat Blogging

My Emmy(tm) Predictions*

Drama Series: "Grey's Anatomy," ABC; "House," Fox; "The Sopranos," HBO; "24," Fox; "The West Wing," NBC.

I don't watch Greys Anatomy, The Sopranos, 24 or The West Wing. I do watch House and despite it's weak second season, I will be watching the third. Will Win - I'm going to go with a Greys Anatomy because the show and everyone involved are insipid and that seems to be a key to winning. So, GA will, I kind of want The West Wing because it will piss the GA and House partisans off.

Comedy Series: "Arrested Development," Fox; "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; "The Office," NBC; "Scrubs," NBC; "Two and a Half Men," CBS.

I would bet on Arrested Development but I hate it's drooling fans, so I'll go with HBO and The Office. Will Win - Two and a Half Men, want? My Name is Earl wasn't nominated.

Variety, Music or Comedy Series: "The Colbert Report," Comedy Central; "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart," Comedy Central; "Late Night With Conan O'Brien," NBC; "Late Show With David Letterman," CBS; "Real Time With Bill Maher," HBO.

I love Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. It's a toss up. Will Win - Either TDS or TCR. Suck it Leno, you right-wing sympathizer.

Actor, Drama Series: Denis Leary, "Rescue Me," FX Network; Peter Krause, "Six Feet Under," HBO; Kiefer Sutherland, "24," Fox; Martin Sheen, "The West Wing," NBC.

Denis Leary all the way. Will Win - Kiefer or the guy from SFU. The SFU guy gets points for being on a "brilliant but cancelled" show.

Supporting Actor, Drama Series: William Shatner, "Boston Legal," ABC; Oliver Platt, "Huff," Showtime; Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos," HBO; Gregory Itzin, "24," Fox; Alan Alda, "The West Wing," NBC.

Hawkeye was my first pretend TV boyfriend and so my vote goes to him, but I would also be okay with Michael Imperioli, because I liked him on Law and Order. Will Win - Gregory Itzin or dark horse Olive Platt.

Actress, Comedy Series: Lisa Kudrow, "The Comeback," HBO; Jane Kaczmarek, "Malcolm in the Middle," Fox; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "The New Adventures of Old Christine," CBS; Stockard Channing, "Out of Practice," CBS; Debra Messing, "Will & Grace," NBC.

I saw a few Out Of Practice's and liked Channings charactor. Will Win - Debra Messing or Jane Kaczmarek or dark horse Lisa Kudrow

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Cheryl Hines, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; Alfre Woodard, "Desperate Housewives," ABC; Jaime Pressly, "My Name Is Earl," ABC; Elizabeth Perkins, "Weeds," Showtime; Megan Mullally, "Will amn Grace," NBC.

Go Jamie Pressly!! Will Win - Megan Mullally or dark hourse Elizabeth Perkins.

Shows I was glad not to see listed? Desperate Housewives, Veronica Mars, any of the CSIs, Lost, and Thank you Jesus, not a soul from Everyone Loves Raymond


( for the few categories that I care about)

Where is the Imperial butterfly net?

Presidential Insanity

The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security; the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material. One can only wonder why the White House is taking such extraordinary security measures for the presidential poop.

Even Bush's toilet paper was flown in from the U.S. Air Base at Ramstein, Germany. In addition, Bush's food was flown in from the United States and tested with special chemicals before he ate it. Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, who was shot by a firing squad in 1989, was the last major European leader to constantly use a food tester. The last frequent state visitor to Vienna, who always relied on a food tester, was Adolf Hitler.

List of major Emmy nominations

Drama Series: "Grey's Anatomy," ABC; "House," Fox; "The Sopranos," HBO; "24," Fox; "The West Wing," NBC.

Comedy Series: "Arrested Development," Fox; "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; "The Office," NBC; "Scrubs," NBC; "Two and a Half Men," CBS.

Miniseries: "Bleak House (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; "Elizabeth I," HBO; "Into the West," TNT; "Sleeper Cell," Showtime.

Made-for-TV Movie: "Flight 93," A&E; "The Flight That Fought Back," Discovery Channel; "The Girl in the Cafe," HBO; "Mrs. Harris," HBO; "Yesterday," HBO.

Variety, Music or Comedy Series: "The Colbert Report," Comedy Central; "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart," Comedy Central; "Late Night With Conan O'Brien," NBC; "Late Show With David Letterman," CBS; "Real Time With Bill Maher," HBO.

Variety, Music or Comedy Special: "78th Annual Academy Awards," ABC; "Bill Maher: I'm Swiss," HBO; "George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing," HBO; "McCartney in St. Petersburg," A&E; "The XX Olympic Winter Games -- Opening Ceremony," NBC.

Actor, Drama Series: Denis Leary, "Rescue Me," FX Network; Peter Krause, "Six Feet Under," HBO; Kiefer Sutherland, "24," Fox; Martin Sheen, "The West Wing," NBC.

Actress, Drama Series: Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer," TNT; Geena Davis, "Commander in Chief," ABC; Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," NBC; Frances Conroy, "Six Feet Under," HBO; Allison Janney, "The West Wing," NBC.

Supporting Actor, Drama Series: William Shatner, "Boston Legal," ABC; Oliver Platt, "Huff," Showtime; Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos," HBO; Gregory Itzin, "24," Fox; Alan Alda, "The West Wing," NBC.

Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Candice Bergen, "Boston Legal," ABC; Sandra Oh, "Grey's Anatomy," ABC; Chandra Wilson, "Grey's Anatomy," ABC; Blythe Danner, "Huff," Showtime; Jean Smart, "24," Fox.

Actor, Comedy Series: Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; Kevin James, "The King of Queens," CBS; Tony Shalhoub, "Monk," USA; Steve Carell, "The Office," NBC; Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Men," CBS.

Actress, Comedy Series: Lisa Kudrow, "The Comeback," HBO; Jane Kaczmarek, "Malcolm in the Middle," Fox; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "The New Adventures of Old Christine," CBS; Stockard Channing, "Out of Practice," CBS; Debra Messing, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Will Arnett, "Arrested Development," Fox; Jeremy Piven, "Entourage," HBO; Bryan Cranston, "Malcolm in the Middle," Fox; Jon Cryer, "Two and a Half Men," CBS; Sean Hayes, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Cheryl Hines, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; Alfre Woodard, "Desperate Housewives," ABC; Jaime Pressly, "My Name Is Earl," ABC; Elizabeth Perkins, "Weeds," Showtime; Megan Mullally, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Charles Dance, "Bleak House (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; Donald Sutherland, "Human Trafficking," Lifetime; Ben Kingsley, "Mrs. Harris," HBO; Jon Voight, "Pope John Paul II," CBS; Andre Braugher, "Thief," FX Network.

Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Kathy Bates, "Ambulance Girl," Lifetime; Gillian Anderson, "Bleak House (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; Helen Mirren, "Elizabeth I," HBO; Judy Davis, "A Little Thing Called Murder," Lifetime; Annette Bening, "Mrs. Harris," HBO.

Supporting Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Denis Lawson, "Bleak House (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; Hugh Dancy, "Elizabeth I," HBO; Jeremy Irons, "Elizabeth I," HBO; Robert Carlyle, "Human Trafficking," Lifetime; Clifton Collins Jr., "Thief," FX Network.

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Kelly Macdonald, "The Girl in the Cafe," HBO; Shirley Jones, "Hidden Places," Hallmark; Ellen Burstyn, "Mrs. Harris," HBO; Cloris Leachman, "Mrs. Harris," HBO; Alfre Woodard, "The Water Is Wide (Hallmark Hall of Fame Presentation)," CBS.

Ms. Fix It

I decided that with vacation coming up there are things I need to get done.

1. Find out why the kitchen smells.

There are a couple of possible suspects, the first being that something died in my disposal. I poked around in it with my bare fingers and got all up in its business with a wooden spoon and couple of different flash lights but to no avail. I offered to sit down and talk to it rationally and with all the respect it deserves as a household fixture-American. It’s really hard to dialogue with something when it won’t even try to sit down at the table – it claims that I am behaving in non-sympathetic way, demanding that it as a sink bound appliance can not actually take a seat anywhere. I agreed and dropped my “sit down” request, instead we spoke sink side

M – Lets put our cards on the table

D – Excuse me! I can’t put anything on the table I HAVE NO HANDS!! Your lack of understanding is just another symptom of your overall lack of compassion for me.

M – Bad phrase use. I am sorry. Let us talk about the issue.

D – Fine.

Me - I need to know what is causing your anxiety and making it difficult for you to get your job done. What can I do to make your life more pleasant?

D – Being a disposal is my job it is not my life. I spent a lot of time in therapy because of that, the whole “work to live v. live to work” paragrim. Because I am called a disposal does not mean I am a disposal. My life is pleasant, my career is where my problems lie.

M – Again, poor choice of phrase. My concentration is off. Would you mind if I put your plug into place?

D – Mind? Do I mind? Would you mind if I asked you to put on a blind fold and stuff cotton in your ears? Do I mind?!

M - The odor is very strong.

D – You may use lemon juice as a disposal wash, if you must.

M - I Must.

gluck, gluck, gluck

D – Better now?

M – My eyes have stopped watering. May we proceed?

D - You hurt me with the spoon. I felt violated.

M – I was trying to find what if anything was some how causing your mechanism to not dispose. If I had found it I would have removed it. I didn’t mean to “violate” you. I was trying to help.

D – Help me or help you? I didn’t ask for help.

M - I don’t want to have to call in a technician…

D – Drain side manner of a plumbers snake…

M – That isn’t true of all technicians!

D – I would rather use natural remedies.

M - What if the “natural remedy” for what is wrong with you is to be replaced? , I don’t think anyone wants that.

D – You would do that to me?

M – Not if you see a technician, this might just be a minor problem. You have to trust the technician. They really care about drains; they are a very dedicated group of professionals!

D - If there was anything there that was not supposed to be there, if something was caught, don’t you think I would be the first to comment about it?

M – I don’t know.

D – Haven’t I in the past let you know that there was something wrong?

M – Only if you knew there was something wrong. You could be having some sort of internal problem that you might not be able to sense.

D – I know my mechanism.

M – You looked at the pictures in Our mechanisms, Our Selves but that doesn’t mean that –

D – I am totally in touch with my mechanism!

M – I didn’t say that you weren’t! I’m saying that you may have a problem and not know it. When was the last time you saw a technician?

D - I don’t need to check with the ATA to tell me how I feel about myself!

M – I’m just saying it may be time for your 30,000 grind check up.

At this point the drain spit some week old wet potato chips at me and we both left the "table".

Free Stuff!!
Move On is offering free bumper stickers again!!

Go here and order yours.

Oh, look Oil closes at $75...

Fish overload

Japanese TV, having solved all other world problems, asked, I'm guessing, neither speaking or reading Japanese, "How Big A Fish Can A Cat Pick Up And Take Away". The answer will astound you. I'm thinking the next time you need help moving that you ask your friends to bring their cats...

Strong Kitties (scroll down)

OMGBBQ!

Ken Lay has died . Is it too early to start the count down to his posthumous pardon?

Fun

Have you ever caught a little boo-boo at work and said to yourself “This is not good! I am so glad I found this! I think I’ll just take care of this right now ? And you know how relived you were that you found this little boo-boo? You know how you feel when you are not the person who finds the boo-boo? Friday sucked.

So. I took a long weekend, super timing on my part, totally. Anyway. Instead of working on Monday like everyone else, I took off Monday and worked Tuesday. I am a rebel. Look at me rebel. I’ve worked lots of Forths. it’s not so bad if you are working days, the good stuff is all about later on anyway. So I went into work a little late, like 1:30 and imagine my surprise when no one else was there! It was a freaking Tuesday! Am I the only one with any kind of work ethic around there? I mean, dayum. I bet they all went into work on Monday, what sheep, you know?

I got a lot of work done for a short day. There wasn’t anything I could do about the little boo-boo, but I got a lot of other stuff done to make up for it. I did a good job getting a sizable amount of Monday done and a little bit of Tuesday. I was impressed with my efficiency, I’m not sure my boss is going to care. I’m hoping she had a great weekend herself and unlike me ( who if it wasn’t for freaking out about the mistake, I would have had a great weekend), did not spend most of her time obsessing about what a moron I am.

See, I wouldn’t even be thinking about on purpose working on a holiday if it wasn’t for the little boo-boo. I got busy with all this work I’ve been trying to do and I let a little request sit on the back burner a little to long and it pissed off this attorney and he decided to let us know how big his diploma is. He’s now asking for years and years worth of material and documents and He thinks he’s scaring us. He’s right. I’m scared. I’m about to go on vacation! I hate the idea of leaving a whole bunch of crap for my co-workers to do for me. I’m just hoping that we can make it go away. I don’t want to have to think about this the whole time I’m gone, I don’t want to spend anymore time feeling this bad.

I’m not going to go watch fire works. Last year I tried to go see fireworks and ended up with a knot on my knee the size of a pear - all not to see a ten minute fireworks display. Over the weekend I got to experience Mother Nature putting on a fireworks show and it lasted for hours! It was impressive enough to make me not really excited about seeing some man made booming and flashing. I’m kind of been there, done that. And besides, I’m still going to have a red white and blue forth - I’m seeing red because my hair is white and that is making me blue so I am going to dye it brown. Woo-Hoo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM !!!!!

HAPPY JULY 4TH !!!!!!

HAPPY MONDAY !!!!!!!

HAPPY SUNDAY !!!!!

HAPPY SATURDAY !!!!!