Hair

I looked at the TV guild in the paper this morning and said to myself “Dayum. There isn’t anything on tonight. What am I going to do to fill the time?”.

Well. I found stuff.

It had been mentioned to me by a recent visitor that my house smelled “doggy”. I was a little insulted. My house does not smell “doggy”, my car smells like an unairconditioned pet store. But my house? right now, my house smells like dueling cat boxes, but most of the time my house smells like last nights dinner, or if I know you’re coming, air fresheriner and last nights dinner. My house does not smell “doggy”.

I came home from work, walked in the door and my house smelled like frozen pizza and dog. I tried to ignore it and changed out the cat boxes. Dogger and I went to the park.

Dogger and I had a great time at the park, read: Mostly big dogs, no Drama Dog and pleasant company. It was swell. It was so swell that Dogger was a bitch about leaving, again, last night, another really good park night, she did the same thing. I think somewhere along the way she picked up I go to protests and now when it’s time to leave she grabbing trees and chanting.

Do you know how embarrassing it is to have to drag your dog out of the park? And of course it turns into an audience participation thing and I just wanted to die and that was the first time she pulled that shite.. The second night in a row, I was ready to leave her there.

I left her one time alone with the TV and the remote in reach and all of a sudden she’s chaining herself to doors. She wouldn’t leave the park today until she gave everyone badly copied hand outs about her next "action". I about choked her with her love beads.

It took one of the other dog people had to get out her lighter and make dogger think it was a cookie to make Dogger leave the park under her own power, I was set to drag her 95 pound bulk out of there, and got a few feet before she slithered out of her harness . She then lay there on her back and went limp. I had no idea she actually knew the words to We Shall Overcome.

So. post faux cookie, I made like the DC park police and forced her to her feet and out of the park. The car smelled really Doggy. I decided it would be a good night for a bath in the yard. My new plantings need water and I didn’t want to mess up my bathroom.

After her last bath, I ran out of the dregs of conditioner I had been using on her and I went out and bought her her very own bottle of conditioner. My conditioner is nice, I don’t spend much on it but I have learned how to shop dollar stores, I can get my good quality stuff for cheap. There is a major difference between not spending much on good stuff and not spending much on bad stuff. I put her new conditioner on and her fur wasn’t at all as nice as it was with my stuff. I didn’t think it would matter with dog fur. It does, her coat isn't as bouncy and managable now. One application of cheap conditioner and Doggers fur has the same consistency as Barbie hair and, oddly, now my house smells like patchouli.

you know it's going to be a hot time in ol' office today when every light in the building is all ready off and the industrial fans are all ready on and it's only 8:05am