Friday

Thursday night Dogger really wanted to watch the last third of season four of SAtC and then she wanted to entertain herself by dropping her toy off the side of my bed over and over and then she really wanted a belly rub.

She really didn’t want me to cry into her belly but I did and she was all right with it. After all that I gave her a bath. I was going to do it earlier in the week but I couldn’t fit it in between the laundry and the pee trips and the crying jags.. Regardless of what I’m feeling, I know that when you’ve been sick and especially after you’ve been in the hospital what really makes you feel like your old self is a nice bath. Dogger is no different. A bath she needed so a bath she got. From now on I am her own personal Make A Wish foundation.

Then I decided it was time to move her out of ICU and into a regular bed.

I ‘m getting these weird, rolling, waves of grief, everything is as fine as it’s going to get and then I’m in tears. I can be at my desk chugging along and all of a sudden I’m in tears or I’ll be watching House Hunters and the BANG I’m crying. Am I all right?

When the thief stole my purse she didn’t just steal my property and my identify she ultimately stole my time. Today at lunch instead of going home to visit with/nurse Dogger I am going to go to the downtown Raleigh Police station to pick up my police report. I need to spend as much time as I possibly can with Dogger and this bitch is stealing my time away from her. What is the word for what they call the space beyond hate?

The good new is? I can’t write a check. The heifer bounced checks all over town and as a result I can’t write a good check anywhere. If I can’t write checks anymore, neither can she. Wait, I can write checks at Harris Teeter. I don’t shop at HT but now? If I want to shop? I have to shop at HT.

Yesterday evening Dogger and I were just pulling into the park and my engine light came on. I quickly conferred with another dog person and they said I should go and have it looked at. Lately, when anything happens to me it is either A) Bad or B) Worse. My engine light going on was just what I needed. I raced to one of the Pirates and a mechanic there plugged a gizmo into the dashboard and announced that the seventh something was “skipping” and that the car needs a minor tune up. I was aghast. What did he mean the engine was not going to fall out? The car was not going to blow up in 10, 9, 8...? It’s been weeks since anything that happened to me wasn’t straight out of the worst case scenario handbook, I can’t just lose my purse behind the couch, No when my purse disappears it’s been stolen and my dog can’t just be sick it has to be terminal illness and this guy is telling me my car is okay? He has no idea who he's dealing with.

(note to Alpha Gal Season 5 is in da house! Call me!)