Chicken Soup

It’s Memes Day! I don’t feel well,the mouse hates me, I don’t feel like thinking too much or spending too much time sitting upright so this was a good solution. Enjoy. Cough, ack, sniff The return of the The Friday Five

1. How often do you get sick with a cold? The flu? Something else?
I don’t get sick. I have 616 hours of accrued sick time at work.I am saving it up so I when I am hit by a truck or my the tree behind me falls on my house, I won’t have to worry about running out of sick time before I’m out traction. If I don’t get hit by a truck and the tree falls away from my house, I plan on sitting on my thousands of hours of accrued sick leave and then one day going home sick and never coming back. I have missed only one day due to illness in seven years and that wasn’t a whole day , it was a half day. I left at noon on a Friday after I called my doctors office and begged for a script for Theraflu. I went to my pharmacy picked it up and went home. Dogger was a puppy then and thought I had made this surprise trip home in the middle of the day to play with her. She decided it would be big fun to slip out of her collar and force me to chase her in and out of the neighbors yards and up and down their drive ways.. When I finally caught her I brought her inside and pretty much literally threw her into her crate and slammed the door. I took my Theraflu and by that evening I was feeling much better and I even let Dogger out of her crate. Theraflu is magic.

2. Are you the sort of person who goes to work or school no matter how sick you are or are you willing to stay at home when it gets bad?

When I was in college I had a head cold for five years.It started out as an elective and became my major. I spent my junior year in the infirmary trying to convince them that I was not just really stressed or pregnant and that non-stop non-productive coughing is not usually a symptom of either. And then my one ear stopped working and I had a new retainer so I couldn’t hear you, my speech was slurred and I coughed all the time. I was going to die from my head cold. I almost drowned in my Dramatic Theory and Analysis class one day. I was so pathetic the guy who say across from me gave me a handful of tissue. Do you have any idea how pathetic you have to be before a college boy will hand you Kleenex?

And then one day, I coughed so much I broke a rib. I went to the infirmary to tell them I was now in pain from all this coughing and the “doctor” looked at my chart and said “Yeah. You’ve been in here a lot for that. It happens”. He never even examined me. I went home for spring break and saw a real doctor and he found it right away. With a stethoscope. I never went back to the school infirmary. It turned out I had something called cedar fever and I was living in a cedar grove. I graduated and left San Marcos and haven’t been that sick since.

3. How do you like to treat a cold? What remedies do you like and why?

If I ignore it long enough it will go away. This year I went out and bought myself the nicest Kleenex I could find at the dollar store and a bottle of hand sanitizer. .Within minutes my nose stopped running and I started to cough less.

4. What do you do to keep from getting sick in the winter?

I don’t get sick. I get allergies . So much like your cold so much less contagious. I spend the winter with special winter allergies.

5. What is your favorite thing to do when you stay home from work or school?

I don’t know. Daytime television has changed a lot in the five years since I last was sick at home. When I’m sick I sleep. A lot.