Success Stories
Yesterday Vice Chair, today Successful Changer of Fax Toner! Ya’ll don’t know! Our fax toner at work is a real bitch to change. It’s powdery. Shiver. And Yesterday, I changed it correctly and all by myself and all without messing up my light colored top or leaving tale tell toner flurries.
All the harder to do because while the machine said it was empty of toner, it wasn’t and there was quite a lot left in the toner well. But you can’t tell that until after you’ve taken the whole thing apart. I would love a fax machine that required cartridges, like our ageing printer . Sigh.
We aren’t going to get a new fax or a new printer because we just got a new scanner. Did we need a scanner? No, no we didn’t. Not at all. Do we need a new printer? We needed a new printer last year and the fax machine has been on it’s last leg for years. So instead we got a scanner, that we don’t need or want. Go us.
I think it’s a status thing for my boss. Upstairs they have a scanner, and they scan their little hearts out. Scan, scan, scan. Good for them. They even have a dedicated computer for the scanner so any staff that has something to be scanned can scan it. Super. Downstairs, guess whose desk the dedicated computer sits on? Not the bosses, no, she’s busy, she doesn’t need to be interrupted. I however, am never busy and live for interruptions. And even better? The scanner is big and takes up a lot of room. Guess who has a lot of room sitting around idle? That wouldn’t be me but it’s not like I needed that room anyway. I can sort the sections mail on my floor or I could just wiggle my nose and have the mail open, stamp and sort itself in the air.
Yesterday I also thought to put gas in my car at Sam’s. I really didn’t need to but it was only $3.10 a gallon and I thought I should jump on it. I “jumped on” $3.10 a gallon gas! How perverse is that? Almost as perverse as the $3.27 the pirates are asking for the same thing.
Earlier in the week, I came home from work and was going through my mail and ran across a greeting card from AT&T. What could they possibly need to thank me for, their customer? A rate hike? An apology for being Bushco collaborators the admins ongoing war against it’s own citizens? Nah! They want to thank me for being a valued customer. Which I’m not, not really. I never signed on with them. One day I checked my voice mail and the message the usual message that greeted me had changed. I was pissed. I’m pretty sure the last guys were also mentioned pretty prominently in the list of collaborators, but at least they weren’t AT&T for Gawds sake!
It was just strange to get a thank you note from collaborationist pigs. Thank you for letting us listen in to your phone calls, Thank you for laying there like a good dog while we trampled your rights, Thank you for not showing up on a list of customers forming a class action suit against us . Yet. I haven’t sued them yet, they could have saved their postage. They can’t save their souls, they could have at least saved their postage.
To change the subject, am I the only one who didn’t care in the least that The Wire ended? To change the subject again, these two headlines were together on my ISPs home page
Spitzer Resigns in Disgrace Over Scandal
US Syphilis Up for Seventh Straight Year
I laughed.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Big Time
I would have started this earlier but I was out participating in our democracy, or as it is more commonly known: Attending my yearly precinct meeting.
The news this year, for the first time in years is that we reached quorum!! Woo! We had a total of 10 people show up! Last year we had a grand total of three and the year before we had two. You only need five and we had ten! Not counting the dead people on the rolls, we have about twelve hundred registered voters in the precinct and ten of us showed up. Y'all don’t know. It’s very exciting, and unlike last year, our precinct chair even showed up.
It’s amazing we had that many show up because we had conflicting information about where our meeting was going to be. We got a very official postcard from the county party telling us one place and time and Monday night we got a rushed call from our out-going precinct chair with a different place and time. It’s a wonder any one showed up at all. I mean, really. It doesn’t take much to give people and excuse to not show up to these things. Making them guess where they are supposed to be is a great way to make sure they go nowhere at all.
And the party doesn’t help. I got my post card because I got a postcard last year. I asked a woman at work if she got hers and she had no idea what I was talking about. We asked tonight how they go about deciding who gets a notice and who doesn't and the answer was “If you're active in the precinct, you get a notice”, which begged the question, how would I know about the meetings if I didn’t go to the meetings, which is how being "active" in the precinct is defined. The party doesn’t send them to everyone because it costs them too much. I think it costs them too much not to. The county party sends notices out to donors and others that are active in the party. But what about everyone else? Every year there are fewer and fewer, the rolls are full of dead people and everyone moans about a lack of new blood - How is the new blood supposed to find out? Lucky guess? They follow the blue star in the sky until it leads them to their meeting? They just show up at a random suburban high school one Tuesday night?
The people who know get notified, the people who don’t know will continue to not know because the party doesn’t notify them and the rolls fill up with in-the-know dead people and all the new people stay home and watch the Mississippi results come in and wonder what they can do locally and how they can get involved and the local party isn't going to tell them. Morons. The grass roots turn gray and the party tells themselves it lends gravitas.
Oh, by the way. I am my precincts brand new vice chair! Our new chair is a great guy who was the chair before our current chair got too important to be our chair. I’m very excited, I really think he’s going to do more for the precinct, and I’ll do more because I’m the vice chair of my precinct! Woo-Hoo! And I am a delegate again! Yay me! Let’s hear it for the County Convention! And the District Convention! And the State Convention! But not the big scary National Convention in Denver because that is going to be a blood bath.
I would have started this earlier but I was out participating in our democracy, or as it is more commonly known: Attending my yearly precinct meeting.
The news this year, for the first time in years is that we reached quorum!! Woo! We had a total of 10 people show up! Last year we had a grand total of three and the year before we had two. You only need five and we had ten! Not counting the dead people on the rolls, we have about twelve hundred registered voters in the precinct and ten of us showed up. Y'all don’t know. It’s very exciting, and unlike last year, our precinct chair even showed up.
It’s amazing we had that many show up because we had conflicting information about where our meeting was going to be. We got a very official postcard from the county party telling us one place and time and Monday night we got a rushed call from our out-going precinct chair with a different place and time. It’s a wonder any one showed up at all. I mean, really. It doesn’t take much to give people and excuse to not show up to these things. Making them guess where they are supposed to be is a great way to make sure they go nowhere at all.
And the party doesn’t help. I got my post card because I got a postcard last year. I asked a woman at work if she got hers and she had no idea what I was talking about. We asked tonight how they go about deciding who gets a notice and who doesn't and the answer was “If you're active in the precinct, you get a notice”, which begged the question, how would I know about the meetings if I didn’t go to the meetings, which is how being "active" in the precinct is defined. The party doesn’t send them to everyone because it costs them too much. I think it costs them too much not to. The county party sends notices out to donors and others that are active in the party. But what about everyone else? Every year there are fewer and fewer, the rolls are full of dead people and everyone moans about a lack of new blood - How is the new blood supposed to find out? Lucky guess? They follow the blue star in the sky until it leads them to their meeting? They just show up at a random suburban high school one Tuesday night?
The people who know get notified, the people who don’t know will continue to not know because the party doesn’t notify them and the rolls fill up with in-the-know dead people and all the new people stay home and watch the Mississippi results come in and wonder what they can do locally and how they can get involved and the local party isn't going to tell them. Morons. The grass roots turn gray and the party tells themselves it lends gravitas.
Oh, by the way. I am my precincts brand new vice chair! Our new chair is a great guy who was the chair before our current chair got too important to be our chair. I’m very excited, I really think he’s going to do more for the precinct, and I’ll do more because I’m the vice chair of my precinct! Woo-Hoo! And I am a delegate again! Yay me! Let’s hear it for the County Convention! And the District Convention! And the State Convention! But not the big scary National Convention in Denver because that is going to be a blood bath.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
More than voting
Have you ever been watching TV and watched one of those ads for The Amazing Fill-In-The-Blank? Of course you have. You don’t just see these ads once, you see it fifteen times during the Law and Order marathon you got sucked into and then, after freeing yourself from Dick Wolfs' clutches, you see the ad four more times during House Hunters and by time number twenty rolls around during Myth Busters you start thinking You know what? I think I need that, and the only reason you haven’t all ready ordered that is because you can’t remember if the number is 800-DUMMIES or 866-CHEAT ME and by the time you do write the number down, if the madness has gotten that far, You have most likely had time to think whether anything really amazing can be had for three payments of $19.99.
Well. Be glad you are too lazy to go find your phone and credit card! That laziness has prevented you from getting involved in all make and model of deception and fraud. And to make yourself feel even better about your sloth, there is a site dedicated to the complaints of the people who did buy those things, Infomercials Scams.com.
Were you almost lured in by the powdery promises of Bare Minerals? Good thing it was almost, how about Hercules Hooks?, the only thing that will get “held up” is you. And it goes on and on. You want to hear the truth about those promises of instawealth? Wealth Infomercials, shockingly the guy in the money suit lies!, House Hold Goods, again with the shock, Direct Buy is a scam and on and on.
Bottom line, if it sounds too good to be true? It is! Try to stay strong and remember Billy Mays is not your real friend. Have I ever ordered any thing off the TV? Yes, yes I have, many moons ago I bought an Xfiles shirt and hat from the Home Shopping Network. I have also bought those stupid things you see offered on you credit card bill. I have lusted after Space Bags! Do I own any Space Bags? No! Will I ever order a $4.95 laser level from VISA again? No!
Live and learn.
Onto other things that annoy me. On Saturday I finally got a notice about my yearly mass precinct meeting. Fine. I wish it would have arrived say, more than three days ahead of time but it’s not like I have anything else to do and I am such a geek, even if I did have something else scheduled, I would have to reschedule it, after all what’s more important that participating in our democracy?
Tonight, I received a call from the prodigal Precinct Captain! The Invisible Man! The man I thought had made it clear he wasn’t actually interested in being our chair because he had bigger fish to fry in more important places and had in fact, had been voted out of the position. Guess again! He called to remind me about a precinct meeting and he didn’t mention the mass meeting at the high school that we got post cards about - My precinct has a really hard time getting people to any meeting not held at our rec center. We are very sad. And Lazy. “We” being defined as those who are not me. I have perfect attendance. And also, I have a selfish need for poor turn out, the more people who show up for the meetings mean less of chance of me getting to be a delegate to the various state conventions and this year the big state convention is being held in the city where my parents live and I would actually go . Last year it was too far away and I missed it. This is an election year, there are no local politics. I think that’s why the Prodigal Precinct Chair came back. Off years just aren’t sexy enough for him.
Oh! And speaking of sexy, did you see the Democratic Governor of New York is part of a prostitution ring! How shocking, A polition being caught having sex with a woman!
Have you ever been watching TV and watched one of those ads for The Amazing Fill-In-The-Blank? Of course you have. You don’t just see these ads once, you see it fifteen times during the Law and Order marathon you got sucked into and then, after freeing yourself from Dick Wolfs' clutches, you see the ad four more times during House Hunters and by time number twenty rolls around during Myth Busters you start thinking You know what? I think I need that, and the only reason you haven’t all ready ordered that is because you can’t remember if the number is 800-DUMMIES or 866-CHEAT ME and by the time you do write the number down, if the madness has gotten that far, You have most likely had time to think whether anything really amazing can be had for three payments of $19.99.
Well. Be glad you are too lazy to go find your phone and credit card! That laziness has prevented you from getting involved in all make and model of deception and fraud. And to make yourself feel even better about your sloth, there is a site dedicated to the complaints of the people who did buy those things, Infomercials Scams.com.
Were you almost lured in by the powdery promises of Bare Minerals? Good thing it was almost, how about Hercules Hooks?, the only thing that will get “held up” is you. And it goes on and on. You want to hear the truth about those promises of instawealth? Wealth Infomercials, shockingly the guy in the money suit lies!, House Hold Goods, again with the shock, Direct Buy is a scam and on and on.
Bottom line, if it sounds too good to be true? It is! Try to stay strong and remember Billy Mays is not your real friend. Have I ever ordered any thing off the TV? Yes, yes I have, many moons ago I bought an Xfiles shirt and hat from the Home Shopping Network. I have also bought those stupid things you see offered on you credit card bill. I have lusted after Space Bags! Do I own any Space Bags? No! Will I ever order a $4.95 laser level from VISA again? No!
Live and learn.
Onto other things that annoy me. On Saturday I finally got a notice about my yearly mass precinct meeting. Fine. I wish it would have arrived say, more than three days ahead of time but it’s not like I have anything else to do and I am such a geek, even if I did have something else scheduled, I would have to reschedule it, after all what’s more important that participating in our democracy?
Tonight, I received a call from the prodigal Precinct Captain! The Invisible Man! The man I thought had made it clear he wasn’t actually interested in being our chair because he had bigger fish to fry in more important places and had in fact, had been voted out of the position. Guess again! He called to remind me about a precinct meeting and he didn’t mention the mass meeting at the high school that we got post cards about - My precinct has a really hard time getting people to any meeting not held at our rec center. We are very sad. And Lazy. “We” being defined as those who are not me. I have perfect attendance. And also, I have a selfish need for poor turn out, the more people who show up for the meetings mean less of chance of me getting to be a delegate to the various state conventions and this year the big state convention is being held in the city where my parents live and I would actually go . Last year it was too far away and I missed it. This is an election year, there are no local politics. I think that’s why the Prodigal Precinct Chair came back. Off years just aren’t sexy enough for him.
Oh! And speaking of sexy, did you see the Democratic Governor of New York is part of a prostitution ring! How shocking, A polition being caught having sex with a woman!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Mouse in the House
I’m not sure if you can tell from just looking at this but, a minute ago I wanted to move my mouse from point A to point B and my mouse moved from point A to point B! On the first try! and I didn’t have to curse at it or slam it on the desk or spin it around or take it apart or wash any part of it or change what I wanted to do because the damn mouse wouldn’t go where I wanted it to... I was enslaved by a broken piece of $6 plastic.
I had tantrums and I kept saying I need to get another one. But, to get another one, I would have to have time to go get another one and I would have to remember that I needed a new one when I wasn’t in the middle of a tantrum. It’s not easy. I alos spent a few days without a car and that put a dent into my mouse shopping but pretty much, if I wasn’t actually in the middle of a mouse induced tantrum it was easy to forget about.
I would think of it when I would go to work and my mouse there works so well and it does what I wanted it to and it would highlight text and cut and paste and I would think about my one at home and be sad. I would have gotten a new one last weekend but that was not possible, and to be honest, I didn’t think about checking airport gift shops for computer mice.
So. This weekend I did something about it. I didn’t do anything about it on Saturday because it was too windy. It was really windy. Like a wind tunnel, all day. It was awful. Dogger wouldn’t even go out to pee! She would listen at the window and hear the gusts of wind and then poke her little nose out the door and just shake her head. We took a lot of naps. Which worked out well for me as I had decided I was going to sleep as long as I could on Saturday - and then I woke up at 8am, I was not happy about that. But fortunately, I overcame that early disappointment and managed to find a lot of time to nap. The constant strong wind was really very restful - I have a new roof, I can sleep in the face of strong winds.
I did manage to wake myself up long enough to go to Poverty Barn to get a couple of baskets for the book shelves that I use as a dresser. I need a couple of more to really tidy up the look, but the one’s I liked were $12 a pop and I had been hoping to spend $8 per basket - And I could have but the $8 version just looked cheap. So I settled for lesser amount of tidy and fewer baskets but what I got does make the book shelves look less like I’m using them as a dresser and more like I’m using them as book shelves.
While I was upstairs putting my stuff into the baskets, this enormous gust of wind came and knocked over my neighbors heavy, iron porch furniture and stripped shingles off the house behind them. I don’t know what made them more upset, having to go out in the wind to reset their furniture or having to pick up all the stray shingles from their yard and driveway.
Whee! I just highlighted some text and cut and pasted it and the mouse did it on the first try!
Tangent - Dogger barks at car crashes! We were sitting here checking Email and we heard someone hit the breaks and then the impact and Dogger barked at it. Don’t drive a plastic car, it isn’t going to end well - Those fake bumpers don’t dent, they shatter.
I’m not sure if you can tell from just looking at this but, a minute ago I wanted to move my mouse from point A to point B and my mouse moved from point A to point B! On the first try! and I didn’t have to curse at it or slam it on the desk or spin it around or take it apart or wash any part of it or change what I wanted to do because the damn mouse wouldn’t go where I wanted it to... I was enslaved by a broken piece of $6 plastic.
I had tantrums and I kept saying I need to get another one. But, to get another one, I would have to have time to go get another one and I would have to remember that I needed a new one when I wasn’t in the middle of a tantrum. It’s not easy. I alos spent a few days without a car and that put a dent into my mouse shopping but pretty much, if I wasn’t actually in the middle of a mouse induced tantrum it was easy to forget about.
I would think of it when I would go to work and my mouse there works so well and it does what I wanted it to and it would highlight text and cut and paste and I would think about my one at home and be sad. I would have gotten a new one last weekend but that was not possible, and to be honest, I didn’t think about checking airport gift shops for computer mice.
So. This weekend I did something about it. I didn’t do anything about it on Saturday because it was too windy. It was really windy. Like a wind tunnel, all day. It was awful. Dogger wouldn’t even go out to pee! She would listen at the window and hear the gusts of wind and then poke her little nose out the door and just shake her head. We took a lot of naps. Which worked out well for me as I had decided I was going to sleep as long as I could on Saturday - and then I woke up at 8am, I was not happy about that. But fortunately, I overcame that early disappointment and managed to find a lot of time to nap. The constant strong wind was really very restful - I have a new roof, I can sleep in the face of strong winds.
I did manage to wake myself up long enough to go to Poverty Barn to get a couple of baskets for the book shelves that I use as a dresser. I need a couple of more to really tidy up the look, but the one’s I liked were $12 a pop and I had been hoping to spend $8 per basket - And I could have but the $8 version just looked cheap. So I settled for lesser amount of tidy and fewer baskets but what I got does make the book shelves look less like I’m using them as a dresser and more like I’m using them as book shelves.
While I was upstairs putting my stuff into the baskets, this enormous gust of wind came and knocked over my neighbors heavy, iron porch furniture and stripped shingles off the house behind them. I don’t know what made them more upset, having to go out in the wind to reset their furniture or having to pick up all the stray shingles from their yard and driveway.
Whee! I just highlighted some text and cut and pasted it and the mouse did it on the first try!
Tangent - Dogger barks at car crashes! We were sitting here checking Email and we heard someone hit the breaks and then the impact and Dogger barked at it. Don’t drive a plastic car, it isn’t going to end well - Those fake bumpers don’t dent, they shatter.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
Child's play
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Chicken Soup
It’s Memes Day! I don’t feel well,the mouse hates me, I don’t feel like thinking too much or spending too much time sitting upright so this was a good solution. Enjoy. Cough, ack, sniff The return of the The Friday Five
1. How often do you get sick with a cold? The flu? Something else?
I don’t get sick. I have 616 hours of accrued sick time at work.I am saving it up so I when I am hit by a truck or my the tree behind me falls on my house, I won’t have to worry about running out of sick time before I’m out traction. If I don’t get hit by a truck and the tree falls away from my house, I plan on sitting on my thousands of hours of accrued sick leave and then one day going home sick and never coming back. I have missed only one day due to illness in seven years and that wasn’t a whole day , it was a half day. I left at noon on a Friday after I called my doctors office and begged for a script for Theraflu. I went to my pharmacy picked it up and went home. Dogger was a puppy then and thought I had made this surprise trip home in the middle of the day to play with her. She decided it would be big fun to slip out of her collar and force me to chase her in and out of the neighbors yards and up and down their drive ways.. When I finally caught her I brought her inside and pretty much literally threw her into her crate and slammed the door. I took my Theraflu and by that evening I was feeling much better and I even let Dogger out of her crate. Theraflu is magic.
2. Are you the sort of person who goes to work or school no matter how sick you are or are you willing to stay at home when it gets bad?
When I was in college I had a head cold for five years.It started out as an elective and became my major. I spent my junior year in the infirmary trying to convince them that I was not just really stressed or pregnant and that non-stop non-productive coughing is not usually a symptom of either. And then my one ear stopped working and I had a new retainer so I couldn’t hear you, my speech was slurred and I coughed all the time. I was going to die from my head cold. I almost drowned in my Dramatic Theory and Analysis class one day. I was so pathetic the guy who say across from me gave me a handful of tissue. Do you have any idea how pathetic you have to be before a college boy will hand you Kleenex?
And then one day, I coughed so much I broke a rib. I went to the infirmary to tell them I was now in pain from all this coughing and the “doctor” looked at my chart and said “Yeah. You’ve been in here a lot for that. It happens”. He never even examined me. I went home for spring break and saw a real doctor and he found it right away. With a stethoscope. I never went back to the school infirmary. It turned out I had something called cedar fever and I was living in a cedar grove. I graduated and left San Marcos and haven’t been that sick since.
3. How do you like to treat a cold? What remedies do you like and why?
If I ignore it long enough it will go away. This year I went out and bought myself the nicest Kleenex I could find at the dollar store and a bottle of hand sanitizer. .Within minutes my nose stopped running and I started to cough less.
4. What do you do to keep from getting sick in the winter?
I don’t get sick. I get allergies . So much like your cold so much less contagious. I spend the winter with special winter allergies.
5. What is your favorite thing to do when you stay home from work or school?
I don’t know. Daytime television has changed a lot in the five years since I last was sick at home. When I’m sick I sleep. A lot.
It’s Memes Day! I don’t feel well,the mouse hates me, I don’t feel like thinking too much or spending too much time sitting upright so this was a good solution. Enjoy. Cough, ack, sniff The return of the The Friday Five
1. How often do you get sick with a cold? The flu? Something else?
I don’t get sick. I have 616 hours of accrued sick time at work.I am saving it up so I when I am hit by a truck or my the tree behind me falls on my house, I won’t have to worry about running out of sick time before I’m out traction. If I don’t get hit by a truck and the tree falls away from my house, I plan on sitting on my thousands of hours of accrued sick leave and then one day going home sick and never coming back. I have missed only one day due to illness in seven years and that wasn’t a whole day , it was a half day. I left at noon on a Friday after I called my doctors office and begged for a script for Theraflu. I went to my pharmacy picked it up and went home. Dogger was a puppy then and thought I had made this surprise trip home in the middle of the day to play with her. She decided it would be big fun to slip out of her collar and force me to chase her in and out of the neighbors yards and up and down their drive ways.. When I finally caught her I brought her inside and pretty much literally threw her into her crate and slammed the door. I took my Theraflu and by that evening I was feeling much better and I even let Dogger out of her crate. Theraflu is magic.
2. Are you the sort of person who goes to work or school no matter how sick you are or are you willing to stay at home when it gets bad?
When I was in college I had a head cold for five years.It started out as an elective and became my major. I spent my junior year in the infirmary trying to convince them that I was not just really stressed or pregnant and that non-stop non-productive coughing is not usually a symptom of either. And then my one ear stopped working and I had a new retainer so I couldn’t hear you, my speech was slurred and I coughed all the time. I was going to die from my head cold. I almost drowned in my Dramatic Theory and Analysis class one day. I was so pathetic the guy who say across from me gave me a handful of tissue. Do you have any idea how pathetic you have to be before a college boy will hand you Kleenex?
And then one day, I coughed so much I broke a rib. I went to the infirmary to tell them I was now in pain from all this coughing and the “doctor” looked at my chart and said “Yeah. You’ve been in here a lot for that. It happens”. He never even examined me. I went home for spring break and saw a real doctor and he found it right away. With a stethoscope. I never went back to the school infirmary. It turned out I had something called cedar fever and I was living in a cedar grove. I graduated and left San Marcos and haven’t been that sick since.
3. How do you like to treat a cold? What remedies do you like and why?
If I ignore it long enough it will go away. This year I went out and bought myself the nicest Kleenex I could find at the dollar store and a bottle of hand sanitizer. .Within minutes my nose stopped running and I started to cough less.
4. What do you do to keep from getting sick in the winter?
I don’t get sick. I get allergies . So much like your cold so much less contagious. I spend the winter with special winter allergies.
5. What is your favorite thing to do when you stay home from work or school?
I don’t know. Daytime television has changed a lot in the five years since I last was sick at home. When I’m sick I sleep. A lot.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
"For the ladies"
I swear to Gawd. Now, if I was going to blow your damn head off, I wouldn't use no toy-looking pink ass gun. Shit.
stolen from Jesus General
I swear to Gawd. Now, if I was going to blow your damn head off, I wouldn't use no toy-looking pink ass gun. Shit.
stolen from Jesus General
I got “the cold”. I feel so trendy. I feel like head is full of water and my nose has a steady leak. And sneezing? I forgot about sneezing. I must have blocked the experience because I can’t see how I would have otherwise managed to put the function out of my head - Everything is now trying to get out of my head., I know this because I stole a roll of toilet paper from the bathroom and it is almost gone.
The housekeeping ladies come to my office in little paper bunny suits – its’ not just me, my whole hall sounds like a TB ward, a ward of non-compliant TB patients. Yuck.
I got “the cold” from Tiny E. She and her cute little baby germs. Sweet, lovey, chubby little baby germs! So cute! See, a full grown person had a nasty cold there would be no way you would allow them anywhere near you. You would just politely tell them if they needed you that they know you email address and that you would prefer for any communication to be handled that way for the time being or they could call you or text! They could text you instead of infecting you.
You see the baby. You are drawn to the baby. You want to eat that baby up!. The baby's mother warns you not to eat her baby because her baby has a cold and you say to the baby Do you have a cold? Does babywaby have a cold? Cough for me, cough, cough! and the baby dutiful coughs in your face and you say That is the cutest cough ever! The baby goes cough, cough! Look at the baby go cough, cough! amd then the baby sneezes on you and you say to the baby's Mother OMG! that was so sweet! Does the baby have your sneeze or Daddys? Whose sneeze does she have? - Because you know, sneeze style is inherited like a big nose or too small ears.
And a few days later you wake up and want to die. Baby germs are the strongest germs per square inch of any germ. Look it up. If an adult blew a snot bubble in your face you would, you know, glove up and kill them. If a baby blows a snot bubble in your face, you would , you know, laugh and applaud, and then maybe , if there was some handy, maybe use some antibacterial hand wash. On your hands. Feet from the actual snot bubble.
If a grown up coughs two inches from your nose, they had better be allergic to your perfume because if they are infected with something and they cough in your airspace like that, it is permissible to throw them from the roof, it is , you can. It was passed during the SARS hysteria: If you have flu like symptoms and you cough in public without covering your mouth – You can be executed . Any anyone can do it, it’s like a citizens arrest. You have some sort of upper respiratory infection and you cough in my airspace as defined by individual municipalities, in NYC if you cough on the subway and fail to take precautions? Bernie Getz, I kid you not. If you cough on someone in Idaho? The affected individuals can plow you under. Really, in Vermont? The going rate for spreading “the cold” is being buried in a snow drift.
But a baby?, No one is going to get mad at a baby!. it doesn’t matter that they produce some of the most densely packed germs on earth, and due to the fact that most babies today are born with colds – Go to a Day Care and find one child without a cold. Try to find one. They all have colds. And it’s the same cold, they all have the same cold! They give it to each other, then their parents get it and their school age siblings get it and they pass it to their teachers who pass it to their husband who gives it to you when you press the elevator button after him.
It’s a control thing. They can’t talk, they can’t read and they don't drive but they have germs and they know how to use them.
The housekeeping ladies come to my office in little paper bunny suits – its’ not just me, my whole hall sounds like a TB ward, a ward of non-compliant TB patients. Yuck.
I got “the cold” from Tiny E. She and her cute little baby germs. Sweet, lovey, chubby little baby germs! So cute! See, a full grown person had a nasty cold there would be no way you would allow them anywhere near you. You would just politely tell them if they needed you that they know you email address and that you would prefer for any communication to be handled that way for the time being or they could call you or text! They could text you instead of infecting you.
You see the baby. You are drawn to the baby. You want to eat that baby up!. The baby's mother warns you not to eat her baby because her baby has a cold and you say to the baby Do you have a cold? Does babywaby have a cold? Cough for me, cough, cough! and the baby dutiful coughs in your face and you say That is the cutest cough ever! The baby goes cough, cough! Look at the baby go cough, cough! amd then the baby sneezes on you and you say to the baby's Mother OMG! that was so sweet! Does the baby have your sneeze or Daddys? Whose sneeze does she have? - Because you know, sneeze style is inherited like a big nose or too small ears.
And a few days later you wake up and want to die. Baby germs are the strongest germs per square inch of any germ. Look it up. If an adult blew a snot bubble in your face you would, you know, glove up and kill them. If a baby blows a snot bubble in your face, you would , you know, laugh and applaud, and then maybe , if there was some handy, maybe use some antibacterial hand wash. On your hands. Feet from the actual snot bubble.
If a grown up coughs two inches from your nose, they had better be allergic to your perfume because if they are infected with something and they cough in your airspace like that, it is permissible to throw them from the roof, it is , you can. It was passed during the SARS hysteria: If you have flu like symptoms and you cough in public without covering your mouth – You can be executed . Any anyone can do it, it’s like a citizens arrest. You have some sort of upper respiratory infection and you cough in my airspace as defined by individual municipalities, in NYC if you cough on the subway and fail to take precautions? Bernie Getz, I kid you not. If you cough on someone in Idaho? The affected individuals can plow you under. Really, in Vermont? The going rate for spreading “the cold” is being buried in a snow drift.
But a baby?, No one is going to get mad at a baby!. it doesn’t matter that they produce some of the most densely packed germs on earth, and due to the fact that most babies today are born with colds – Go to a Day Care and find one child without a cold. Try to find one. They all have colds. And it’s the same cold, they all have the same cold! They give it to each other, then their parents get it and their school age siblings get it and they pass it to their teachers who pass it to their husband who gives it to you when you press the elevator button after him.
It’s a control thing. They can’t talk, they can’t read and they don't drive but they have germs and they know how to use them.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Bloggety, blog, blog. blog
While The Kitty was “in hell”, or as the rest of us referred to it "The Vet", he had a lot of time to update his blog.
The rest of us saw his stay there as “free time” he saw as “hard time”. We saw it as “being boarded” he saw it as “being held hostage”. It’s a matter of perspective.
Anyway, while he was being well cared for in a safe and friendly environment, he had the chance to revisit his blog, mostly because he claims to have taken a vow of silence until “Something something frees the garbled or there is peace unintelligible” but the vow is only in effect between three and four in the afternoon and every other Saturday after nine in the morning if the month has an R in it. It’s very Byzantine, his vow and it runs twenty-six hand written pages.
At some point The Kitty’s blog got tagged by another Kitty blogger. The Kitty was not real impressed by this and ignored it for over a month because he hates memes, but as he didn’t have anything else to do over the weekend he accepted the challenge.
Here are the seven random/interesting facts about myself:
1. I believe that what happens between a feline and his lovey should remain in the bedroom or the living room or under the dining room table where it belongs.
2. I am not actually fat, I was born with too much skin. It causes an optical allusion that is suggestive of extra weight but really isn’t. 17.5 pounds is not fat, it is 8.5 pounds of extra skin on top of my actual weight, which is only 9 pounds. I am actually quite lithe when you know what you are looking at – which is not a fat cat, it is a cat with extra skin. I don’t need your judgment, I need a handicapped parking sticker.
3. I do not hate everyone in the world.
4. I get pleasure from both reading and writing poetry , Ode to a Dead Waterbug and My Lovey, My Light… are two that I am very proud of . I have also dabbled in composing classical music with my Symphony in Q and The Catbert Variations. I also enjoy long walks along the back of the couch.
5. I do not judge other cats by the color of their fur, rather by the length of their tails.
6. I hate Velcro.
7. I have sniffed the dog and not hated what I smelled.
Geek Attack! Today is 3/5/8 3+5=8 !!
While The Kitty was “in hell”, or as the rest of us referred to it "The Vet", he had a lot of time to update his blog.
The rest of us saw his stay there as “free time” he saw as “hard time”. We saw it as “being boarded” he saw it as “being held hostage”. It’s a matter of perspective.
Anyway, while he was being well cared for in a safe and friendly environment, he had the chance to revisit his blog, mostly because he claims to have taken a vow of silence until “Something something frees the garbled or there is peace unintelligible” but the vow is only in effect between three and four in the afternoon and every other Saturday after nine in the morning if the month has an R in it. It’s very Byzantine, his vow and it runs twenty-six hand written pages.
At some point The Kitty’s blog got tagged by another Kitty blogger. The Kitty was not real impressed by this and ignored it for over a month because he hates memes, but as he didn’t have anything else to do over the weekend he accepted the challenge.
Here are the seven random/interesting facts about myself:
1. I believe that what happens between a feline and his lovey should remain in the bedroom or the living room or under the dining room table where it belongs.
2. I am not actually fat, I was born with too much skin. It causes an optical allusion that is suggestive of extra weight but really isn’t. 17.5 pounds is not fat, it is 8.5 pounds of extra skin on top of my actual weight, which is only 9 pounds. I am actually quite lithe when you know what you are looking at – which is not a fat cat, it is a cat with extra skin. I don’t need your judgment, I need a handicapped parking sticker.
3. I do not hate everyone in the world.
4. I get pleasure from both reading and writing poetry , Ode to a Dead Waterbug and My Lovey, My Light… are two that I am very proud of . I have also dabbled in composing classical music with my Symphony in Q and The Catbert Variations. I also enjoy long walks along the back of the couch.
5. I do not judge other cats by the color of their fur, rather by the length of their tails.
6. I hate Velcro.
7. I have sniffed the dog and not hated what I smelled.
Geek Attack! Today is 3/5/8 3+5=8 !!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Did you know that in Pennsylvania, March, is a winter month? I mean, it’s not as though March is a summer month here, but our daffodils are up and smiling! The daffs I saw there, were wearing tiny little hats and gloves and looking really, really annoyed - They were all on their tiny cell phones calling their little travel agents and asking for big refunds. Daffs are not snow bunnies, they’re more of a sit on the deck and work on the tans kind of flowers. The only coolness they are interested in is ice tea and the new spring styles.
And then I came home. It wasn’t actually warm but it was so much warmer than I had been experiencing it felt balmy in comparison. Yes, a balmy 52 degrees.
I got off the plane saying I can’t pick Dogger up until five. I am going to take a nap.After spending a couple of hours putting stuff away and doing laundry I said I can’t pick up Dogger until five, I am going to take a nap and then putting away the laundry and going through mail I was saying I have a bit of time left, I am going to take a nap .
The few hours I was at home prior to getting Dogger were the longest period of time I had spent petless in a long time. No dog, no cat... I have to admit, I did party a little bit. I went outside because I wanted to! and didn’t close the door behind me! And while I was inside, I moved the baby gate out of the door way and into the hallway where it wouldn’t be in the way and I left food unguarded out on the counter top! instead of quickly taking what I wanted and then putting it back out of sight and later on when I was comfortable on the chair watching TV and I didn’t want to get up, I didn’t.
But I got lonely. There was no one to steal my food or shred my utility bill. Nobody needed to be pilled or taken out again to pee. No one needed the blinds opened or their toy rescued from under the chair . My nest was empty and I wanted my baby birds back.
Doggers pick up time was supposed to be 5pm, but I made the drive over at a quarter after four just in case the traffic was bad. I wasn’t the only one, another dog person went and banged on the door at 4:30 and they let us in . The boarding place gave me report and said she was really good and did fine with the stress of boarding. They even gave me a note from the vet saying she had been examined and was just fine. She did so well being boarded! - although the precautionary pred she was taking didn’t hurt anything either. They said what a sweet girl she was and how well she had done and then they brought her out and she did her best to leap into my arms. It’s good to be loved.
And on the way home I said I am still going to take a nap. We got home and I puttered around and Dogger frolicked with her toys and then I decided that since The Kitty wasn’t home yet that I was going to reward Dogger for being so good over the weekend: I was going to let her sleep upstairs in my room on my bed, with me.
Dogger sleeps in her bed in her room by herself. We don’t bunk together. It’s a little bit because she’s very big and very Doggy and a whole lot because that’s The Kitty’s space and we don’t want The Kitty to kill us in our sleep. I am only allowed to sleep there because he knows I pay the mortgage and he would prefer to not have to work outside the home.
So, in preparation, I gave a Dogger a nice bath and I covered the bed spread with a blanket and all the while I was saying I’m going to bed early, but I still had to launder her bedding and her wet bath towels and I still hadn’t eaten dinner.
And then I finally made it to bed., at my regular time, I took Dogger upstairs and told her to get on the bed and then I turned off the light and settled back in my own bed with my own dog and twenty minutes later my own dog decided that she also wanted to be on her own bed but she would stay upstairs because she was happy to see me and she can’t operate a door knob unaided.
I woke up Monday morning and it felt a whole lot like it should have been Wednesday.
And then I came home. It wasn’t actually warm but it was so much warmer than I had been experiencing it felt balmy in comparison. Yes, a balmy 52 degrees.
I got off the plane saying I can’t pick Dogger up until five. I am going to take a nap.After spending a couple of hours putting stuff away and doing laundry I said I can’t pick up Dogger until five, I am going to take a nap and then putting away the laundry and going through mail I was saying I have a bit of time left, I am going to take a nap .
The few hours I was at home prior to getting Dogger were the longest period of time I had spent petless in a long time. No dog, no cat... I have to admit, I did party a little bit. I went outside because I wanted to! and didn’t close the door behind me! And while I was inside, I moved the baby gate out of the door way and into the hallway where it wouldn’t be in the way and I left food unguarded out on the counter top! instead of quickly taking what I wanted and then putting it back out of sight and later on when I was comfortable on the chair watching TV and I didn’t want to get up, I didn’t.
But I got lonely. There was no one to steal my food or shred my utility bill. Nobody needed to be pilled or taken out again to pee. No one needed the blinds opened or their toy rescued from under the chair . My nest was empty and I wanted my baby birds back.
Doggers pick up time was supposed to be 5pm, but I made the drive over at a quarter after four just in case the traffic was bad. I wasn’t the only one, another dog person went and banged on the door at 4:30 and they let us in . The boarding place gave me report and said she was really good and did fine with the stress of boarding. They even gave me a note from the vet saying she had been examined and was just fine. She did so well being boarded! - although the precautionary pred she was taking didn’t hurt anything either. They said what a sweet girl she was and how well she had done and then they brought her out and she did her best to leap into my arms. It’s good to be loved.
And on the way home I said I am still going to take a nap. We got home and I puttered around and Dogger frolicked with her toys and then I decided that since The Kitty wasn’t home yet that I was going to reward Dogger for being so good over the weekend: I was going to let her sleep upstairs in my room on my bed, with me.
Dogger sleeps in her bed in her room by herself. We don’t bunk together. It’s a little bit because she’s very big and very Doggy and a whole lot because that’s The Kitty’s space and we don’t want The Kitty to kill us in our sleep. I am only allowed to sleep there because he knows I pay the mortgage and he would prefer to not have to work outside the home.
So, in preparation, I gave a Dogger a nice bath and I covered the bed spread with a blanket and all the while I was saying I’m going to bed early, but I still had to launder her bedding and her wet bath towels and I still hadn’t eaten dinner.
And then I finally made it to bed., at my regular time, I took Dogger upstairs and told her to get on the bed and then I turned off the light and settled back in my own bed with my own dog and twenty minutes later my own dog decided that she also wanted to be on her own bed but she would stay upstairs because she was happy to see me and she can’t operate a door knob unaided.
I woke up Monday morning and it felt a whole lot like it should have been Wednesday.
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