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My office is a snack free zone.

We had a less than satisfactory snack machine. It was undersized and stocked with grossly over priced “healthy snacks”. I blame overzealous members of the Wellness Committee in the building for this. Other buildings have full sized machines stocked with actual snacks at reasonable prices.

We complained about the mechanical health Nazi and nothing happened. It seemed to work, it was always full and it didn’t steal money. It didn’t steal money because no one ever gave it any, it seemed to work because no one used it, and it was always full because health care professionals would rather walk into traffic than eat plastic granola. They don’t pull machines that aren’t broken and they don’t agree that just because we have measured clinically dangerous levels of self-righteousness being emmited from the machine, that it is broken.

The Wellness Community suggests we drink water when we are hungry. There are no water fountains on this floor and the soda machines do not stock it. They suggest that if we are still hungry after not drinking the water we don’t have, that we do some yoga. Until the lotus position comes in packs of eight and is covered in chocolate and available for .65, it isn’t going to do well in this building.

I was in another building today and their machine was stocked with Ding Dongs! for .65! In our machine the closest alternative was .85 pop-tarts.

Was being the operative word. We no longer have our machine. We came back from the long weekend and it was gone, in its place was another under-sized machine. An empty under sized machine. And days later, it’s still empty. Those cursed .75 cent candy bars are a thing of the past. I miss them all ready.

The only thing worse than snacks you can’t afford are snacks you can’t have.

Speaking of things you can’t have. You can’t have the house behind me, it is gone. Completely and totally gone. You remember this image?




Time passed.


And then we had



And finally, we are here




I tried to find a picture of the house, but I didn’t really spend a lot of time making sure I had properly recorded it for posterity since where was it going to go? Well. It went in the back of a gravel truck. This is as close as I could find to a before and after picture.

Before



After