The Tooth Strikes Back!


The damn dental band-aid fell out. I was hoping it was pig gristle or a toy surprise. It was not a Happy Meal. Who would have thought chopped up hot dog was such a violent tooth band – aid destroying food. I just though that even hot dog nutrients would be better then jam nutrients. They lied. Healthy food will not keep our teeth from falling out. Sweet, sugary jams are the answer. They make those puppies stick to the gums.

Wot a surprise, it rained again. It rains all the time. On the upside the tobacco farmers only have about half their crops planted. They may be forced out of the drug business.

While it was raining earlier I got to watch the cat chase the dog under the coffee table. Three Times. Either the dog is going shear off the fur on her back or the coffee table is going to fall apart. The table was free, it was never meant to be used as an emergency break.

Speaking of dogger. I took her for a walk earlier, after the rain finally stopped and I saw this guy getting out of his car. He asked how old dog is and asked what kind of guard dog she is. I told him she is scared of the cat, but that she possesses a great bark when she wants to. He said, “That’s the kind of dog you don’t want to make mad”. Okay. Obliviously he has never seen the 70-pound dog run in fear from the 19-pound cat.

She is the sworn enemy of her Kong toy though. She is in the process of decapitating it. I thought they were indestructible. I thought that was what I was paying for – a forever toy.

Daisy has also learned how to peal a tennis ball like a grape. She is very talented.

I actually worked at work again today. Imagine my surprise. Today I finished up the single page filing and put the filing for next time around in the aphabetizer. I also set up the Zombie to punch holes and alphabetize the three bins her office brought me this week. At some point they will learn to do that before I bounce the bins back to them. She has a lot of staring into space to do though and she needs that staring into space time. She could be helping me in the file room instead of staring into space, but what do I know. I mean at least she could learn computer solitaire or something. It’s unnerving.

There was a special guest star today in the building. I had a guy from the Attorney generals Medicaid fraud office come by to look at a file. He wants copies. He’ll be back tomorrow. When I met him in the hallway he asked how I knew it was he. I told him there are three men in the building and he isn’t one of them. He was also alert and responsive at 2:30 in the afternoon so that really helped him stand out.

This was the first full week of no new TV. FOX is running something about stupid people caught on tape that is not American Idol. It seems to feature home movies of people being, you guessed it, Stupid! FOX is so fair and balanced in its portrael of its viewers. It’s all about respect and balance and fairness.

What if the prez through a huge tax cut and you didn’t get any? If a gigantic tax cut gets made and no one gets anything, did it really happen? I would be willing to accept a bribe from shrub at this time. Oh that’s right. I don’t count! I don’t have kids! What was I thinking? And, I’m poor. The tax cut wasn’t about helping the people who actually need help it’s about helping the people who help Shrub. What ever was I thinking? Stupid Poor Person.

I remembered to feed the feral cat today. I even saw him yesterday. He meowed at me for being tardy with his kibble. Beasty.

Today thanks to the rain I was able to water my Happy Office Professionals Day plant. The plant seems to be more growy and less dead if I water it frequently. I have found that using the water fountain is not the most advisable course to follow for plant hydration. It makes the plant barf dirt into the tray and the water is too cold.

The garden is doing well. I have four new shoots coming up in the garlic and I found a dead slug in the carrots. The potato is still a no show.

The new flowers I planted are also not dead yet. I got them on sale because they were getting too leggy for the cute little plastic pot things they keep them in.

I re-poisoned everything a few days ago between deluges. I haven’t seen as much bug damage as I had been getting but its also raining a lot and that might be keeping the bugs at bay. Whatever works.

Maybe I’ll give the slugs a tax break for helping out Lowes in this difficult economy. God knows slugs need every break they can get.