Saturday, December 31, 2005



Friday, December 30, 2005

Friday Cat Blogging

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Number 21, stole flowers from the store

Customer Makes Restitution 35 Years After Piggly Wiggly Theft .
Bowling as a varsity sport.

The end times are nigh
Your Porn Star Name Is...

Cindy Slit

See, I was under the impression that your porn name was made up of the name of the street you grew up on and your childhood pets name, in which case my porn name would be "Randi* Moon".

(I am replacing the "Y" with an "I", which would be dotted with a tiny, faked, "O" face)
Soup Vol. 2

I know you are waiting with baited breath to see how my second go-round with the thermos went. There was no second go-round! There are no second acts in Thermos life! To hell with it! I ran over with my car and set in on fire and than gave it to the drug dealers pit bulls to tear up and then strung what remained up outside as an object lesson to all the other thermosi out there as a warning to do their damn jobs the first time! . I should not have had to go to a thermos in-service to learn how to trick my thermos into working correctly.

I tried again this morning and it worked much better. I learned that I should pre-condition the thermos interior with boiling hot water and let that sit while I am super heating the soup. Yesterday I only heated up the soup. It needs to be hot enough to burn through the counter top prior to being thermosed and the interior of the thermos itself must be hot, hot, hot before you put the soup into it. Everything really has to be very hot in order for it to stay hot for the four and half hours it has to sit prior to lunch. I am assuming that to keep something cold I am going to have to freeze it for 24 hours and than make sure the beverage is frozen solid before I shatter it into a thousand pieces and pour the shards into the thermos to keep it cold until I want to drink it.

The soup was also less salty when it was above room temperature and it helped immensely to have brought a real spoon from home instead of using the little, tiny folding spoon that came with the thermos. If you have to eat cold soup, don’t use an undersized plastic fold up spoon to eat it with, it will not add to the experience.

Did you know that nobody has asked me what I got for Christmas? Not a soul. I have no one to tell that I got a lot of great things but most importantly, I got a digital camera! among the other fab stuff I got: the first season of Hogans' Heros, a pair of kick ass flannel pjs and a cake baking kit that will allow me to make cakes that are both yellow and chocolate or I can put ice cream in to. I all ready have some ideas. I hope my family is willing to eat the experiments.

What else.

Oh, yes, back to the camera. Hopefully, I will be posting more pictures of stuff – like the shot of the tragedy of seeing coolots at Target and wanted to post and cry about, but didn’t because I didn’t have a way of taking their picture and getting it back in time to still care about the coolots. But now I can! Aren’t you excited? I could even post a picture of my newly tarted up light over my dining room table? It was all plan and kind of nowhere but know its all spangely! Do you want to see a picture of my tarted up light?

You have no choice and other than that mostly what I have are shots of my Christmas tree and the animals. So,

Okay, with that in mind. I am going out of town until Tuesday and posting will be, um, light.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

It's not over until Epiphany!

"The house was beautifully decorated in the Oh My Gawd! Christmas Exploded! school of interior decorating. I mean, the woman is in full communion with the Holy Church of full immersion Christmas decoration! "

I may not be into total immersion, but my hair is definitely wet.

And yes, that is Colonel Klink.
That was the year that was

Time Magazines' year in photos

picked up at 50 books
Soup’s On

Well that didn’t work . My plan had been that instead of taking a sandwitch to work every day I would try to take soup to work for lunch instead. I spent some of my precious little Christmas money on a thermos and took it home and the next morning I filled it with nice hot soup and took it to work.

It may have been hot when I left for work but by 11:30am it was barely Luke warm. I thought about bringing a bowl to work tomorrow and heating it up in the microwave but that defeats the whole idea of bringing the soup in a thermos in the first place. I do not want to sit around making small talk in front of the ancient microwave while I wait for it to heat. The thermos was supposed to do that for me. You put the hot thing in the thermos and it keeps it hot! I do not want to have to bring a bowl to work everyday if the soup all ready has a roof over its head. If I wanted to just bring a can of soup to work and heat it up, I would do that. I didn’t want to do that, I wanted to heat it at home and bring it to work in the thermos and I wanted the thermos to act like a thermos and do its damn job. I don’t think asking it to keep something warm for 5 hours is asking it to do anything above and beyond it’s job description – in fact, I think that is it’s job description! Keep things warm if they are warm or cold if they are cold.. I don’t think keeping my soup above room temperature is sliding into “Other duties as required” territory either. I didn’t ask it to turn store bought chicken soup into Gammas chicken soup. I wasn’t reaching and I wasn’t passively aggressively waiting for it to fail. I just wanted warm soup.

How long are thermosi supposed to keep things hot anyway? Is asking it to keep the soup above room temperature for say, five hours too much? Would I have had a better outcome if I spent more than $9 on a thermos? And this is a Thermos brand thermos; it isn’t a shoddy store brand knock off. It came with a folding spoon and a place to put dressing or crackers! It even calls itself the fancy post-millennial “Food Jar” name instead of the old school Thermos. I had better luck years ago with my little lunch box thermos. Maybe that is what I should have been in the market for, a kids lunch kit.

The other thermosi I saw when I was looking online for them all look like discarded ordinance cases or spent ammo and they were very official looking and stainless and didn’t come with their own spoons or bowls and even more troubling than that, most of them wouldn’t even hold a full can of soup. What am I supposed to do with the other third of the can that won’t fit? collect it? auction it on Ebay? start my own left-over-soup kitchen? I mean...

And speaking of the soup. I bought Progresso because it looked thick and hearty and it said it was like 100 calories per serving but they failed to mention it had enough salt in it to raise shrimp It’s a soup! It’s a shrimp nursery! Send us $3.99 and four proofs of purchase and we’ll send you your very own baby shrimp to raise as food or pets! ( six to ten weeks for delivery, no P.O. boxes) The stuff has enough salt in it to put the Campbell’s people to shame – their soup is so salty that if you don’t feel like finishing it you can use the left over’s to cure ham! And I like salt.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

If you are a part of the problem you are the problem

President Bush has been summoning newspaper editors lately in an effort to prevent publication of stories he considers damaging to national security.

Liberal press my ass

He skillfully uses the press (which smacks of Rove, as Bush has not exhibited skill at anything, ever) not to protect our national virtue but to protect his poll numbers. The security of this nation does not enter in to the equation. The real bad guys here are not the admin for trying this stunt, but the papers themselves for allowing it work.

Jefferson said many things about this sort of thing.

Among them:

"It is so difficult to draw a clear line of separation between the abuse and the wholesome use of the press, that as yet we have found it better to trust the public judgment, rather than the magistrate, with the discrimination between truth and falsehood. And hitherto the public judgment has performed that office with wonderful correctness." --Thomas Jefferson to M. Pictet, 1803. ME 10:356

"The most effectual engines for [pacifying a nation] are the public papers... [A despotic] government always [keeps] a kind of standing army of newswriters who, without any regard to truth or to what should be like truth, [invent] and put into the papers whatever might serve the ministers. This suffices with the mass of the people who have no means of distinguishing the false from the true paragraphs of a newspaper." --Thomas Jefferson to G. K. van Hogendorp, Oct. 13, 1785. (*) ME 5:181, Papers 8:632
Intelligent Potatoes

Dare to look them in the eyes!
And He said Let There Be Twinkle Lights

I was all ready to start this entry. The computer was on, Word was fired up and I was going to write The Great American Blog Entry.


I had stopped in on Christmas Eve to visit with my nice neighbors and they mentioned that their very good friend, the niece of the woman who formerly owned my house, had this beautifully decorated home that I just had to go see and I thought to myself, “Yeah, I don’t see that happening”; and then my nice neighbors gave me a very nice Christmas gift right after I gave them something that while nice was not very and I started to think to myself, “Oh. I am going to have to go see that beautifully decorated home.”

And so this evening, minutes after I had the computer on and Word fired up and was starting on The Great American Blog Entry, my nice neighbor called up and said we were going to go see the beautifully decorated home right now and so I went.

And what was I supposed to say as our hostess asked us to have a seat? “Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t stay, I have to write my blog. Lovely home you have, Bye-Bye!” or the just as pressing, but even less polite, “Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t stay, I have to bath my dog and launder her bedding. Lovely home you have, Bye-Bye!” . I should have known I was going to be there for a while after she took our coats away. When the hostess takes your coat away, it does not bode well for a speedy visit, it means that you are going to be there for a while and if you were smart you would have put your tooth brush in your purse before you left the house.

The house was beautifully decorated in the Oh My Gawd! Christmas Exploded! school of interior decorating. I mean, the woman is in full communion with the Holy Church of full immersion Christmas decoration! I think that just about everything I saw that was not a 8 ft. fully lit and decorated spinning tree, was a four foot fully lit and decorated stationary tree and everything else that was not between four and eight feet tall, fully lit, decorated and spinning was able to sing and dance and in one memorable example, was a three piece choir of angels set that could harmonize with itself, while the wings blinked on and off in tune with the music when each angel chimed in. Every square inch from the floors to the walls were covered in decorations. The house was huge and it must have taken months to get it decorated and will take at least that long to get it all dismantled - it still all managed to be tasteful. I was deeply impressed with her decorating ethic, although, myself, I am not quite ready to be a member of her Church at present, I would like to be, some day.

I went home a patted my sad little Santa collection ( I just have 14) and told them not to feel bad, I’ve seen the light and I’ll be more on the ball for next year.

Monday, December 26, 2005


Sunday, December 25, 2005

Happy Chanukah!

Nearly 2,200 years ago, the Greek-Syrian ruler Antiochus IV tried to force Greek culture upon peoples in his territory. Jews in Judea – now Israel – were forbidden their most important religious practices as well as study of the Torah. Although vastly outnumbered, religious Jews in the region took up arms to protect their community and their religion. Led by Mattathias the Hasmonean, and later his son Judah the Maccabee, the rebel armies became known as the Maccabees.

After three years of fighting, in the year 3597, or about 165 B.C.E., the Maccabees victoriously reclaimed the temple on Jerusalem's Mount Moriah. Next they prepared the temple for rededication – in Hebrew, Hanukkah means "dedication." In the temple they found only enough purified oil to kindle the temple light for a single day. But miraculously, the light continued to burn for eight days.
Merry Christmas!

Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night.And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.And this will be the sign to you : You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manager."And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!"

Luke 2:8-14

Merry Catmas

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Saturday Cat In A Santa Suit Blogging


Friday, December 23, 2005

Carly Austin-Kukowski designs and sells guinea pig gear ranging from leopard-print dresses to elf costumes with reindeer hats.

Happy Friday!!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Security Duck

This was sent to me be someone in my office who thought I would like it. Like it? I want to blow this up and use it to wallpaper my office.
Clickety, Clickety, Click

Should the president be impeached?

YES. Damn It. Yes!
Hostile to Hostels

The Last day before Christmas vacation! Woo-Hoo!

Sadly, my boss has selfishly remained in the building forcing others and myself to work the entire week before Christmas! , I mean the nerve.

Everyone should feel comfortable the week before Christmas taking two hour lunches and spending the rest of the day updating our Amazon Wish Lists. It is not right. I’ve even gotten work done, nasty tasks that I thought I would come up to the office on some unspecified rainy Saturday at some point in the future to take care of – but at least this way I got paid for the nasty task doing but it was time spent with nasty tasks that I could have gotten paid for online shopping or rearranging my Happy Meal™ toys – you know, important stuff.

Speaking of working on company time. We now have a brand new cat enclosure for our resident feral cats. It has a cat door and a shingled roof and it is nicer a slightly larger than a lot of the houses I looked at when I was house hunting. It is certainly more structurally sound that my last apartment. The cats won’t go near it, no matter how cat friendly it is. I think they are turned off by the cat flap. These are hard core out door cats and they don’t know from doors, despite the fact that on this campus there are a number of cat shelters scattered around and while animals do use them I have never seen any evidence that the animals using the cat shelters are actually cats, of course the campus possums, foxes, raccoons, rats and stray dogs love them. The little house is very cute though, I don’t think it was on purpose but the pitch of the cat enclosures roof is the same as the pitch of the roof as the roof on the office building but it just looks adorable.

I want you to notice how careful I am to refer to the cat enclosure repeatedly as a “cat enclosure” and not as a “cat house”. Its not that I am not that big of a hit whore, and wouldn’t go there, well, kind of. But still it wouldn’t be prudent to have a “cat enclosure” on state property under any other name. It’s all about the nomenclature.

Besides, isn’t Cat House kind of out of date? Do they still call brothels, Cat Houses anymore? Do they still call brothels brothels? Isn’t there some new hip hop new millennium name for houses of ill repute? I think if there isn’t I would like for their new official name to be : Paris Hiltons.

And the hit whoring just keeps coming.

This will be the last regularly scheduled daily entry until after Christmas. I will however be Cat Blogging on Friday and checking in now and then if I find something worth linking to, so keep checking back, repeatedly

Oh, and more hit whoring, shifting from whore houses to whores, what do ya’ll think of Jack Abramoff? Do you think he’s going to go all witness for the prosecution, He-Who-Makes-The-First-Plea-Makes-The-First-Deal-Makes-The-Only-Deal-Everyone-Else-Goes-To-Jail Law and Order style "charges reduced for cooperation" on his RNC running buddies, or do you think he’ll keep his mouth shut and go silently to serve his time like Martha? I say Jack Abramoff is a small fish with a big mouth. He will not be willing do his time alone.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Stevens cocked blocked once again

The guy has been trying to get into Alaskas' pants for decades and once again she escapes with her virtue intact.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Senate blocked oil drilling in an Alaska wildlife refuge Wednesday, rejecting a must-pass defense spending bill where supporters positioned the quarter-century-old environmental issue to garner broader support.
It was a stinging defeat for Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, one of the Senate's most powerful members, who had given senators a choice to support the Alaska drilling measure, or risk the political fallout of voting against money for American troops and for victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Senate blocks attempt to allow drilling in Alaska refuge

Your favorite movies performed by Sock Puppets!

for example : Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
The Fashin Magazine Industry hates women

Go here to see how a magazine covergirl is made not born.

Those GOPundits...

Tucker Carlson still a dick . I think calling a huge trade partner as well as a bordering country a Retarded Cousin, is just so Retpublicaned of him.
One way or another

I am very proud of myself. I have only picked at the band aid on my knee 23,781 times today! Not as good as yesterday, but I had other things on my mind.

Yesterday, I focused all my normal band aid picking energies to pulling down my blouse. It’s a nice blouse, very festive and all but it is made of an odd material or conglomeration of materials and it would not stay tucked in. All I did all day was retuck and flatten it out. It was a full time job, I tell you. If it did stay tucked for a few moments it would get bunchy and than I would have to try to unbunch it while at the same time trying to keep it tucked, fortunately, it’s a holiday blouse so it’s not something I am going to have to deal with a lot – if it was a plain white blouse and spent the day behaving like that, by the drive home I would have been Lady Godiva and it would have been airborne.

It’s not like blouses have a lot of job skills anyway – they have to stay where you put them, not fall off indiscriminately and not chafe, these things are not hard. I’m sure that somewhere there is an official Blouse Job Description that goes into much more detail but I’m pretty sure that it can be whittled down to those rules. I mean what do they spend their time doing? I mean, really! Do they have hobbies? Was my blouse practicing for Dancing With The Shirts? It just wore me out. I am supposed the wear the shirt it is not supposed to wear on me.

But today, today’s holiday shirt is okay to stay where I put it, so I have had the chance to fully focus on the band aid issue – yesterday along with my blouse issues, I about had a stroke because while my shirt was working my last nerve I also had to look through just about every piece of paper I own for something that as it tuned out, was in another city under some desk. I love other people. So between tearing everything up trying to find it and then having to put everything back once it was discovered safe and sound – I still managed a lot of quality fidgeting time.

I can’t fidget with my hair as much as I would like because I colored it again and because of the hard core conditioner they use, it’s in better shape than it is normally. It is also a little darker than I would have liked but they didn’t have the box with Andy McDowell on it and I had to settle for the same brand but with a different slightly darker brunette model on the box.

What else.

Dogger and I drove to two different Block Busters looking for the season one DVD of Without a Trace. No love at all from Blockbuster Inc. I’ve seen WOAT in reruns off and on and it looks kind of all right and I’ve liked the lead since I saw him a thousand years ago in Betsy’s Wedding , also, not available at Blockbuster by the way. I just thought I would go out and rent the DVD and watch a couple of hours of the show before I allowed my brain to drip out my ears watching CSI Miami.

I don’t watch WOAT in real time because it airs opposite E.R and there is no chance at all in hell I am going to stop watching E.R just to check out Anthony LaPaglia getting increasingly pudgy - so if I am going to watch WOAT it is going to be sporadically in reruns or on DVD. So, because Blockbuster didn’t want my business some random person got my $11 instead of them. Ha.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

BREAKING NEWS Federal judge rules "intelligent design" cannot be mentioned in Pennsylvania public school biology classes.


So, is that tool Pat Robertson going to tell the people of the state of Pennsylvania that they are all going to go to hell? Not just the people in that one town?

Are you sure you are spending enough time at Cute Over Load? . Daily updates! Cute baby animals! fuzzy wuzziness!
Feliz NaviBlah

Have you ever been singing along with a song and mentally patting yourself on the back for your awesome and prodigious memory for lyrics? and you’re singing along for years with this song for ever and you would bet you know the lyrics up and down and than one day you run across the printed lyrics and realize that you have been singing the wrong words all this time? There is a word for that.

Origins: The term 'mondegreen' — representing a series of words resulting from the mishearing of a statement or song lyric — is generally attributed to Sylvia Wright, who is credited with coining the neologism in a 1954 Harper's column.

For my own entry, I offer "Carry, on my wayword side, there'll be peace when you are free".


Now, with Christmas carols being played 24-7 all around us, just try to escape them, you can't they follow us everywhere - we have the chance to sing along once again with all the songs we (think) we know by heart. Here are some examples of what we “know like the back of our hand”

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping at your nose;
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright;
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

Or, as we “know like the back of your elbow”

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire,
(or) Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire,
Check for snipping at your nose;
You'll tide carols being sung by the fire,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey, handsome Mr. Soul
Help to make the season bright;
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

Okay. Silent Night how many of us could and probably have sang this in our sleep?

Silent night, holy night;
All is calm, all is bright.
'Round yon virgin, Mother and Child;
Holy infant, so tender and mild.
Sleep in heavenly peace;
Sleep in heavenly peace!

Silent night, holy night;
Shepherds quake at the sight.
Glories stream from heaven afar,
Heav'nly hosts sing Alleluia:
Christ the Savior is born;
Christ the Savior is born.

Silent night, holy night;
Son of God, love's pure light.
Radiant beams from Thy holy face,
With the dawn of redeeming grace:
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth;
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

Some of us need to get more sleep.

Silent night, holy night;
All is calm, all is bright.
Round John Virgin, margarine child;
Holy imbecile, tender and mild.
(or Holey and lint, sewed tender and mild.)
Sleep in heavenly peas;
Sleep in heavenly peace!

Stabbing fight, hold the knife;
Ship her cake, at the site.
Glories stream from heaven afar,
Tavernly host sing Alleluia:
Christ the Savior is born horned;
Christ the Savior is bored.

Silent night, holy night;
Son of God, love's pure light.
Radiate meat from your holy place,
With the dawn of redeeming grace:
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth;
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth.

Go here for more examples of what we think we know by heart.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Sister Mary Cyber Explains It All For You

We are confident you are one of the few who will understand what we mean when we say our product(s) are less concerned with contributing to a comfortable life than they are aimed at providing for a happy death.

I think they are a tad over confident. Sister Mary Ignatius would not approve.
What an asshole

BREAKING NEWS President Bush calls leaks to media about domestic eavesdropping program "a shameful act" that "helped the enemy."

Translation - Freaking Tattle Tails ruin all my fun! And spying on your own citizens helped the enemy how? By alerting the congress to your actions? by opening you to more domestic criticism? Ass-Hole. Why does The Daily Show always pick the worst times to go on vacation?!
Stuff On Cats

What could be better than stacking stuff on your cat?
Food for thought

The Kitty keeps doing walks by’s while I'm sitting at the desk. He walks behind my chair, leaps up on to the table next to my desk, crosses the scanner Rubicon and ambles across the strip of desk between the key board and the edge of the desk. Sometimes he punctuates his little journey by knocking the mouse off the desk. He can just walk on by because it is not that time yet.

Does Cheney know about the Cat Tail Up Nose? After he stuck the tip of his tail up my nose a few times I was ready to feed him early. I asked him if he was hungry.

Dumb question.

Of course he was hungry. He’s always hungry. I might have well as asked him if he was breathing. I went to the other room and checked his bowl. There was food in it; not a lot but it was far from empty.

Me - What’s your problem, there’s food here.

Kitty - I forgot.

Me - You just assumed since you felt hungry that you had no food? You didn’t check? You got a little worried and you thought you would harass me? Are you even hungry?

Kitty - I want new food, that is old food. I want fresh kibble.

Me - Has this stuff been through the wars? I put it out this morning

Kitty - and it’s been there all day!...

Me - It’s kibble, it’s not potato salad.

Kitty - It’s best fresh.

Me - Kibble has the shelf life of amber.

Kitty - Old kibble tastes like coal!

Me - Hm-mm. So if it sits out long enough...I could burn your scat for heat.

Kitty - I’m cold.

Me - So am I

Kitty - Not my problem. Feed me?

Me - What if pick you up? You are very fuzzy.

Kitty - Must you?

Me - I must. Ohhhhh! Squishy kitty! Mmmmmmm, This is nice! Aw www. I'm warmer all ready, You’re just a tiny little electric blanket!

Kitty - Okay. I Am So Cute. Warm and Fuzzy. Oh. Yeah. Mm. Squishy Kitty. Yeah. Okay. I’m done.

Me - Noooo! More squishy. Fuzzy kitty!

Kitty - I said I was done! Let me go!

Me - No! Fuzzy Baby Kitty-Witty

Kitty - Let. Me. Go.

Me - Does the kitty want down?

Kitty - Yes. Let Me Go.

Me - What a cute a kitty. Awwwwww, you’re the cutest kitty eveh!

Kitty - LETMEGO Mrrrrrrrrrrrroar!

Me - Ow! Gawd Damn it! That Hurt! You put a hole in my shirt! You punctured my hand! Nasty Beastie!

Kitty - ( from kitchen) Feed me!

I would bet that if I had fed him kibble while I was holding him it would have ended differently. No, I think I would lose that bet. I think Along with the blood shed and torn clothes I would have had to contend with scattered kibble as well.

Other Things

I learned that if Nephdog and Dogger are of a mind to co-operate, say, they thought they were going home for dinner and they decided that getting their faster would mean that they would eat sooner - They are perfectly able to drag a full grown woman for some distance down the street - on her knees. Up side being, the homeys hanging around outside the drug dealers house now know that white girl can cuss to make a DJ blush. Just sayin', I got skilz.

I also learned that jeans made for grown ups are not made to withstand such treatment. When I went shopping to replace the now torn up jeans, I learned that jeans manufactured for adults are made form very thin denim. $29 and all you have to do is apply a little friction to the knees and they tear like paper. If I was willing to drop $45, I could get new jeans even more torn up than the old pair I was replacing.

I also learned that the reason you buy two spot light light bulbs when you are pretty sure the project will only require one light is so that when you drop and shatter the first one minutes into the project, you have a back up.

Sunday, December 18, 2005


Saturday, December 17, 2005


Friday, December 16, 2005

Friday Cat Blogging

Why is there a tree in the living room?

Everything you ever wanted to know about why so many people turn their homes into arboretums for the holidays; Adventus comes across with the answers.

Cuteness made easy

Have you ever had the overwhelming need for cute? Is your desire for fluffy baby bunnies all consuming? Do you get tense if you go more than a day with a out seeing a puppy? Cute Overload is here to help you.


I went out into the rain this morning so that I could go get ice for an office birthday party. I am the only who can do this. The rest of the office is unable to find the cooler, take the cooler out to their cars, drive to the building with the ice maker, remove the cooler from their cars, carry the cooler to the ice maker building, open the door to the building while carrying the cooler, walk to the ice maker, position the cooler next to the ice maker, make the ice maker come across with the ice, put the ice in the cooler and repeat until the cooler is full and then bring the now full cooler back to our building This is beyond the rest of the people in my office. I am the only one you can do this.

When I go on vacation they go with out ice at parties because they can’t figure out how to get the ice themselves – “Okay! Yay Birthday party! Where are the drinks! Yay Diet Lemon Flavored Cheerwine! Oh no! There is no ice! Where is the ice! Diana is not here! What are we going to do with the soda? Shit. Someone go run to the store and buy some ice”. No kidding, this has been documented. If I am not here to go get the ice for them they have to go out and buy ice. I am the only one who can take the cooler to the other building and get ice. Just me.

Today I walked in the cold and pouring rain to my car, I walked from the car to the ice machine in the cold and pouring rain, I walked back to my car in the cold and pouring rain I then went from my car to my building carrying the now full and heavy cooler in the cold and pouring rain.

As I walked into the building I heard “Hmmm. Your coat is soaked! Raining out, huh?”, “Wow. You got wet” and “Sure is cold out, huh”.

Anyway. I left the cooler in the room where we hold lunches. I go back to my desk and I go back to work or I search for pictures of baby polar bears, whatever. Time passes. I go down to check on the progress of lunch – it is not ready yet. I have to do this because they forget to call me when it is ready, the excuse being that I’m all the way at the end of the hall! “Oh My God. It’s practically a long distance call”.

Ten minutes later I go down the hall again, and there they are, eating and enjoying drinks full of the ice I went through the cold and pouring rain to go fetch. They forgot me again.. Oh. I thought I called everyone, Look around Einstein, is everyone here? “Oh, it’s all right, there is plenty of food”. Yeah, that makes it okay. Gawd.

Speaking of the pouring rain. The dogs, as neither has shown any proficiency in using a litter box, are going to need to go out in it. I can hear them all ready “But it’s cold out, and raining and nasty! We can hold it! No! No! Look, here we are holding it and being calm and happy. See? No problem, we can wait for it to stop raining before we have to go out. Honest.”. I need them to be able to void but also important, they have to go outside and run around and burn energy that they can not burn in my house. I do not want to have to spend the entire evening with two huge dogs that have been cooped up all day. But most importantly, it’s about their bladders being empty. Nephdog couldn’t hold it the other day and took a big dog pee in the office room. He didn’t want Dogger to take all the blame for destroying the dish box/tree stand all by herself. It was hours before I got home and by that time the office and soon the whole house, smelled like a dog groomer’s waiting room.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

George Bush Hates Polar Bears

Shrinking Ice Cap means Polar Bears are drowning

from America Blog
Stupid Republican, even Stupider Khristian

To quote
"Having ended the War on Terror, poverty, and fixed our schools, the House will be voting on a resolution expressing support for "the symbols and traditions of Christmas" today".

WASHINGTON -- Saying Christmas is under attack, Virginia Rep. Jo Ann Davis sought passage Wednesday night of a resolution expressing support for "the symbols and traditions of Christmas."

The largely symbolic resolution, scheduled for a House vote as early as today, triggered a partisan culture clash in the House chamber. Conservative Republicans applauded the measure, but many Democrats criticized it as religiously insensitive.

Davis, an outspoken Christian conservative from Gloucester, said she was spurred to act after seeing news reports of retailers telling their employees to wish customers a "happy holiday," instead of "Merry Christmas," and schools forbidding everything from Christmas plays to Santa Claus.

"Christmas has been declared politically incorrect," Davis told colleagues on the House floor. "Any sign or even mention of Christmas in public can lead to complaints, litigation, protests and threats. America's favorite holiday is being twisted beyond recognition."

I know a certain rep from Virginia that wants to go on Teevee and french kiss Bill O'Reilly...

And if O'Reilly was really down with The Church, he wouldn't be wishing anyone Merry Anything yet. We are still in Advent, this is the end of third week of Advent. This coming week is the fourth week of Advent. The Christmas season starts on CHRISTMAS DAY and lasts until Epiphany - AKA when the three wise men found the Baby Jesus.
Penguins On Parade

TOKYO, Japan (AP) -- It's wintertime and the king penguins at a zoo in northern Japan are putting on weight. But the keepers there have a solution: exercise.

Pudgy penguins get workout to shed pounds

No 70 mile journeys through blizzards for these pansy Penguins, 500 yard strolls! What pengwimps.

The other day I had something about how Ford Motor Co. had allowed The AFA - a hate group, to stipulate how and to whom The Ford Motor Company should be allowed to market it's products to, well, if you like me, didn't do anything other than send an email or just thought positive thoughts about Ford Motor Co. Coming back into the light - It Worked . The Ford Motor Company changed it's mind and will rejoin the rest of the civilized world.
The Forrest for the Free Trees

I was driving home the other day and when I reached my street I saw all these little flag things decorating the yards as I drove along. Someone had come along and stuck flag things in our yards. Oh Goody! Are they going to bury the power lines!, I said to myself. Than I started to think as I got closer to the house that maybe they were going to give us sidewalks like some of the other streets have and I thought that was pretty all right too - that lead me to They are so not going to give me shit about where I put my leaf pile! . I started to think about other things that go on the edge of a yard, No! I don’t want a mail box! I want my mail slot to stay where it is! I want to go through my junk mail in the privacy of my own home! Oh this sucks! !@#$ postal service!.

I finally got to the house, and got out of the car and read the little flag. It did come from the city but it wasn’t the department I expected.

The City of Raleigh Neighborwoods program evaluated street rights of way in your area and determined that you are eligible to adopt one or more FREE STREET TREES! If you decided to participate simply fill out the detachable postcard and return it by the date indicated. You must agree to plant the tree (s) where we’ve indicated by the flag(s) and water the tree(s) for two years.

I all ready have a tree. I am one of the few houses on my street with a tree. I think the other trees came down in hurricanes over the years and never got replaced after they spent a fall with out having to rake the yard. I can understand that. My tree-free neighbors also have much prettier yards then I do. They have yards free of dead grass, exposed roots and cracked walk ways.

I was intrigued though. I went online for more of an explanation of choice number 1, the Amur Maakia

Outstanding Features:
Extreme cold hardiness. Summer flowers, interesting bark.
Height: 12-20'
Width: 10-20'
Hardiness Zone: 3a
Amur Maackia is an excellent small tree that possesses extreme tolerance to cold winter temperatures. The trees are very attractive as the new foliage emerges with a downy silvery appearance. Leaves are pinnately compound. Mature foliage is a dark green. It flowers in mid July. The creamy white flowers are borne in upright racemes, 4-6" long. Bark color is a greenish-brown with a patchy appearance. It is a member of the legume family. Very uncommon in the nursery trade due to its slow growth as young plants.
Requirements and Culture:
Adaptable to a wide range of soil conditions, but prefers a well drained loam soil. Tolerant to a range of soil pH conditions. Needs full sun for best development of form.
No serious insect or disease problems. Tends to grow slowly as a young tree.

I also found a picture of it. It’s small and a little scraggly looking but it does have flowers and I like flowers.

The second choice was The Japanese Zelkova

Mature Height (ft.):40-60
Spread (ft.): 30-40
Growth Rate: Moderate to fast
Exposure: sun
Flower:Small blooms in spring (not showy)
Fruit:¼ inch twin seed, hinged in middle (similar to Elm seeds)
Color:Medium green, yellow / light red in fall

Good for landscape and street tree use, the Japanese Zelkova is tolerant of wind, moderate drought, a wide pH range of soils, and pollution, once established. Its durable wood and attractive bark maintain winter interest. It may be used in urban areas preferably with well-drained, moist, deep, fertile soil, as a lawn tree or in parks. Its fall color is bronze-red.

Posted by Picasa

I’m not sure I am feeling The Japanese Zelkova .It gets very big and I’m not entirely comfortable with another very big thing being eligible to fall on my house during a storm. I’m not thrilled with the tree I have now for that reason and I live with the specter of my neighbors ancient enormous oak tree hanging over me as it is. I do not need an 60 foot tree.

So, if I do send my post card back it looks like Tree 1 will be the winner. I read further

If you are physically unable to plant a tree, we can provide a volunteer.




is missing as an option...

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Why Do We Sing Christmas Carols?

Well? Explanations and Histories of Some Favorites and because I can be Fair and Balanced too, Tin Hat Explanations of Christmas Carols as an example: Some are Papist Plots others were written by, gasp! Unitarians!!

Hate Silent Night? Love It Came Upon A Midnight Clear, go and see how your favorites stack up against each other Christmas Carols ranked.

Tired of slogging through O Little Town Of Bethlehem in English? want to slog through it in French? The same old Christmas Carols in different, cooler languages. Tired of slogging all together and just want to listen? MIDI files of Christmas Carols

Everything sounds better in Latin:


Reno erat Rudolphus
Nasum rubrum habebat;
Si quando hunc videbas,
Hunc candere tu dicas.

Omnes renores alii
Semper hunc deridebant;
Cum misero Rudolpho
In ludis non ludebant.

Santus Nicholas dixit
Nocte nebulae,
"Rudolphe, naso claro
Nonne currum tu duces?"

Tum renores clambant,
"Rudolphe, delectus es?
Cum naso rubro claro
Historia descendes!"
more Latin here

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I learn something new every day

Behaviorist: Panting Noise Is Dog Laughter
Child Bride

Child Groom

Does no one check IDs anymore? and to my mind, Ms. Cradlerobber is just as deserving of 50 years of jail time as Mr. Cradlerobber. She says: "Oh, but he was so sweet..." and the fifteen year old boy "no victim". Bull shit.
Gay Cowboys Score Big

List of nominees for 63rd annual Golden Globe Awards
Do Unto Others…

I had to go to the post office, I kind of snuck off from work, okay, I needed to go to the post office and so I went. Anyway. I got there and there was a line out the door.

It was 1:30 in the afternoon! It isn’t like I stupidly toddled over there during the lunch hour or after work. I’m not insane, but 1:30 pm? It’s the middle of the afternoon for Pete's sake! Don’t these people have jobs? Who were all these people and why weren’t they at work were they’re supposed to be? I dug a tunnel under the fence and nipped out for a quick mail but gee, did everyone have the same idea that I did? I had no idea I was such an aviator. Vogue should really pay more attention to my comings and goings.

I got to the post office and saw the lines before I was even inside the building and I was about to turn around and run back to work with my tail between my legs and pretend I never left in the first place - when I thought about the do it yourself stamp machine in the lobby.

Insert Hosannas here

The do it yourself stamp machine does so much more then just allow you to avoid the lines and put stamps on your credit card! The DIYSM also allows you avoid the lines to weigh and ship packages on your credit card as well! I didn’t have to stand in one of the out the door lines! I didn’t stand in any line! I just put the package on the scale and punched buttons. It was fabulous. And even better? There was a handy dandy postal employee standing over my shoulder to read the directions to me and tell me what to do! It was so easy. I totally suggest that as an option if there is one at your post office – even with out the handy dandy postal employee to read the directions to you - I just want to know where that machine was when I spent twice the cost to mail the exact same thing at a U Mail It! over the weekend. Those assholes have a real nerve – convenience is going to cost extra but it should not cost at twice the market rate. It’s not right, and that package I mailed over the weekend from the U Mail It! isn’t even going to arrive until after the package I mailed today! and they are going to the same town! I wish I had skipped the U Mail it! all together. What they charged was just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Blah, Blah “Paying for convenience” is bull shit, but now I know where all those sellers on Ebay who want $10 more then the going rate for shipping to ship a $2 item come up with their astronomical shipping amounts. Assholes.

Deep Cleansing breathes.

If you see any sticky places on this, we had our departmental Holiday Luncheon just minutes ago and I am up to my chin in sweet, sticky home made desserty goodness. There are two whole tables of them out there in the hallway for us to graze on and I am getting in touch with my inner Ungulate. There are acres of cakes and pies and brownies out there in the hallway unprotected and unsupervised! And the desserts are such little whores! They will just leave with anyone! It’s shocking! This is totally the life. I am going to sacrifice and help out by taking some of them home with me, for their protection, of course. I mean, we have some folks here that so do not need to be around that kind of food… So it’s really a public service that I would be doing for those poor people with really poor self control skills… I might have to take some of the left over friend chicken too; I mean just to protect those other people out of the kindness of my heart…

Monday, December 12, 2005

The more things change, the more they stay the same

Graffiti from Pompeii
Small Print, Big problem

Phone tax pays for war

So does that kind of makes us like the British in this scenario? They want us gone, we won't go so they are useing gurrilla tactics to make us go?

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (CNN) -- President Bush, speaking Monday in the cradle of American democracy, compared Iraq's struggle to the plight of America's founders and praised the war-torn nation about to hold its third election this year.

Go here
Justice Delay-ed is Justice Denied

BREAKING NEWS U.S. Supreme Court to review Republican-friendly Texas congressional map engineered by Rep. Tom DeLay.

Full story here

The engineering was gerrymandering to the nth degree. If this political nightmare can be undone it will be a victory for the people of Texas. What Delay did there to them was wrong and should be counted amoung his many, many crimes.
Never say Finished

Have you ever gotten all self congratulatory because you thought you had all your Christmas stuff done early?

There is always something. Okay, you’re done, pat yourself on the back and lean back and listen to the Christmas carols. Do you know where your receipts are? Do you have any clue if you saved that one? you know that one the one for that one item that you just know is perfect and the recipient is going to love, love love it? You know the one. The one that they really, really, really love, but in the cold light of Christmas evening is a leetle small, or the sleeves are just a pinch too long and the next smaller size would be perfect? Do you have any clue where that receipt is? I don’t either. I don’t have a clue. I bought some of my gifts last summer on sale and I couldn’t tell you where the receipts are if you held a gun to my head. Hell, I bought stuff last week that I’ve all ready lost the receipts for - receipt from Kroger from four weeks ago for a twelve pack of coke and a bag of dog food that is all ready gone? Right here.

I spent Sunday being Santa for the people at work. I hate handing out gifts in front of people not getting any from me. I would prefer to keep my Christmas list a private affair, its really uncomfortable to be Lady Bountiful in front of people who are not sharing in that bounty. Nothing says “I don’t bother to take the time to learn your name much less get you anything” like walking right past them while holding a hand ful of cards while they stand there and try not to hate you. I always bring extra cards with me to cover the people who may have not been on my list, but who have me on theirs. Oops.

There are a lot of people in my office and most of them are only here a few times a week. I don’t know half of them by name but most of them know me because I hold the files. There is only one of me and about a hundred of them, so I stand out a bit. They like me, I do stuff for them. Sadly, if I do know their names its because they did something to make me learn their name and if I know their name its’s most likely because they did something to piss me off. It doesn't help that I am also terrible with names, just awful. I can talk to some one every day and never know what their name is - and these are people I like. I talk to them everyday and now I’m having to try to figure out who they are so I can give them a card. I imagine that they would like it better if I wrote their name on the envelope. Just saying “Here!” and thrusting a blank envelope in their hands is hardly festive or friendly. It makes me look like I am neither and that makes me sad. Everyone but me needs to where clearly legible name tags. Sigh.

Then I have the Dog Cookie list. This is a short list. It is a short list because I can only buy so many of the tins. This year I bought six. Four all ready in the wind and two are going to people at work. Dogger isn’t getting any this year - I mean, she has cookies, they just aren’t Aunt Cookie cookies. I will be making cookies for her, but the dogs that do not eat their beds or chew on the dish barrel that is being used to hold up the small Christmas Tree get first dibs on the home made goodies. Dogs that aren’t mine for instance. Dogger is not totally out in the cold Cookiewise though, I am going to introduce a new flavor to Aunt Cookies menu this year and Dogger will get to eat the experiments.

After I played at Santa for the office, I took Dogger to see the real deal

Sunday, December 11, 2005


Saturday, December 10, 2005


Groundbreaking Comedian Richard Pryor died Saturday of a heart attack, his wifetold CNN. He was 65.
FYI Raleigh Area Readers

The Century 21 people at 1513 Walnut Street, Ste. 200 in Cary right down from Crossroads Mall are holding open houses to celebrate their new location December 3, 10, 17 and will be wrapping gifts for free between 9-5 and you can have your picture taken with Santa between 1-5. For every gift they wrap they will be donating $1 to the Red Cross. I hate wrapping gifts, period and this sounds IS a good way to both rid yourself of time consuming task and do something for charity.

And it is free! free! free! They supply the wrapping and everything. They do a great job and no one makes you listen to any real estate stuff either. It's jut 100% free gift wrapping for charity! You stand there and they wrap your gifts and They, not you donate to the Red Cross. It is an amazing deal.

Friday, December 9, 2005

Friday Cat Blogging

You don't want to Know

I had always kind of thought I was a little pathetic because I have these. I bought one set to display play with and one set to put aside. I went to Ebay to see how my investment has grown over the years, answer: I will not be taking early retirement.

I thought I was pretty sad for going out and buying the toys in the first place, but after skimming the actions, I found that I was not all that pathetic and in fact since those are the only X-Files toys I ever bought, I'm a total piker in the Pathetic Toy Buying Fan ecosystem. The show has been off the air for years and yet the action figures keep multiplying .
Boxes Day

I got my Christmas cards up and out. Yay. I even went to the post office and mailed them last night so they would go out this morning. Did you know that Christmas is seventeen days away?! I was going to order something online yesterday and it said they could only guarantee delivery would be win in two weeks. I said “Okay” and was about to press “buy” when it occurred to me to check the calendar to see when two weeks was – and I looked at it wrong and got very freaked out but then took the time to count the days and than I felt better and pressed “buy”. But for a minute there I was highly concerned.

Speaking of online shopping. It has made it kind of like Christmas around my house. Every few days there is a mysterious package at my door and it is up to me to remember who I bought this for and why. Yesterday for example I came home to find a huge box at my door. I was like “What the hell is that? What did I order?”. I looked at the label and it was something I had ordered for myself – an advent calendar! I’m not buying myself toys. Gawd.

It has always been my experience with advent calendars that they are smallish, flattish things. The box they sent could have held a very tall very fat toddler. I went to open the box and ripped out the paper work to see what exactly these monkeys had sent me in this huge box, I was ready to get all huffy and my hand was all ready on the phone. The paper work reflected my order: One Advent Calendar, Kitties and Mittens and about a cubic yard of crumpled paper.

Shut up about the Kitties and Mittens. I needed an advent calendar and the local calendar places I tried had no clue what I was talking about and when I googled advent calendars,I got a lot of big German jobs made of wood and stuffed with chocolate – which is great but these big German jobs are sehr kostspielig and not what I was used to advent calenderwise. I just wanted something with little numbered cardboard windows. I don’t need candy prizes, I mean, I would like candy prizes, but I am unwilling to pay for them – Enter Kitties and Mittens. It was the Kitties which at least includes snowmen or I swear to Gawd, things even less seasonal, like a Sarah Michelle Geller themed advent calendar! scroll down, read the ad. This is not the one I saw while I was in the market, the one I saw was a BTVS advent calendar that one was gone when I last looked The Geller one replaced it and is even scarier and makes the Kittens down right seasonal in comparison.

If you forced me at stake point to pick a non-religious, non-Santa advent calendar and I all the choices you presented to me to pick from were advent calendars derived from long canceled Sci-Fi shows that ran on WB, I would have preferred an Angel The Series advent calendar if I was forced at stake point to pick an advent calendar from that pool of choices. Angel felt very bad about killing all those nuns back in the day and while Buffy did dress as a Nun once, her heart wasn’t in it. So, I would choose ATS for my canciled Sci-Fi show themed advent calender needs. If I had a need, which I don't. Thank you Kitties!

The kittens are not perfect. I didn’t know they made secular advent calendars, I mean they are used to count down to Christmas are there other uses for calendars that start December 1 and run through December 25? Am I missing something?

In a perfect world the kittens would at be wearing Santa hats and there would be glitter – but for glitter and Santa hats, you pay more than $1.95 and have to schlep all over and probably have to deal with nosy people asking you about the children you are no doubt buying the advent calendar for… In the ether the only thing they ask you about is your credit card number.

Thursday, December 8, 2005

Mike Wallace is 87 years old

When Mike Wallace was a young man he didn't say "When I am an old man I shall wear purple..." Mike Wallace said "When I am an old man I'm going to say anything I damn well want!"
Who is next?

If you spend any amount of time reading blogs you may have seen some reference to Ford Motor Company getting in bed with the American Family Association. The AFA is a hate group and a part of the far right radical fringe. The AFA hates fags. A Lot. Now, the AFA, this fringe group has forced an enormous multi national auto manufacture to bend to its will. The AFA doesn't hate me - yet, but who is to know what minority group they may next take aim at and who they will ask Ford to stop marketing to next?

What does the AFA think about Jews and Catholics? It is a slippery slope that Ford has put itself on and they can either slip further or they can be pushed back up. We need to help them regain their footing and back to the path of righteousness or at least not the path of Hate Group Lackey.

Go to America Blog and read more about it. Who is going to be next on the AFA list? Who will they target next? Who else would such a group fear? Who is different from them?

Thigs To Do List

1.Spread the word that The AFA is a hate group. Ask: Is The American Family Association a terrorist group?
2. Find a good way to harrass Ford Motor Co.
Speed Boats are not festive.

Well the Christmas season has officially started. I made my first trip to the post office to mail packages and pick up this years Christmas stamps I wussed this year and only bought the cutesy version instead of getting the Madonna and Child. I was feeling more secular than liturgical. I think it was the Post Offices influence, it was the flag stamps next to the BVM that did me in.

This means I’m going to have to send out the cards which means that I am going to have to sit down and address envelopes and sign my name over and over. This year I’m not sending out photo cards. I thought I was going to and than I sat down and very soberly looked the candidates and I wasn’t happy. I had been absolutely sure that one of them was absolutely, positively going to be The Card - but at the last minute it washed out. I don’t know, maybe I’ll use it next year. Sometimes a little time apart can improve my opinion of a photo. I can be, um, very critical of my work. I also probably should have sat down before October to look at candidates.

The One, the bride groom, I took on the afternoon of my last full day of vacation. I saw the scene and knew that it was perfect. It fit my arbitrary requirement for inclusion in the running: it was horizontal, because most cards are and they are easier to display in my opinion and it had a really nice Christmas-y tree and it got bonus points for being was on the beach. It was almost given the job. I had to work to get the picture too. I was out on the beach reading and I looked up and saw the scene and said “That is my Christmas Card and I ran up the embankment and fetched my camera. Then I wandered around the tree for a while trying to set up the right shot. It took forever and I was loseing light, but it was all right because it was for The Card. Sigh.

Later when I was looking at the shot closely after I got the prints back or maybe, I didn’t get the prints back and it was on my parents digital and it wasn’t until I saw the image full size? I started to have problems with it. There was a person in my Christmas Card picture! I hadn’t seen the figure because the sun was in the wrong place and the person was hidden in the glare I don’t have people in my Christmas Card pictures! It is a no person allowed zone! And there was a boat, also hidden by the glare. Bastard glare! I know, “How unusual. A Boat, beach side. How shocking”. It wasn’t the right boat. It looked funny and I all ready had intentionally included a couple of brightly colored kayaks in the back ground and those were fine, they were part of the design elements of the shot. I didn’t need another boat, especially one that appeared to be growing out of the tree’s “head”. It was not an element of the design I was going for.

There was another shot, which had been The Card before the beach tree became The Card. This other one was vertical which pleases me as the photographer and archivist but not as the card designer. It’s the whole vertical v. horizontal issue. It is and was a great shot, very pretty but it also had a smaller non Christmas tree sapling standing next to it and it wasn’t working for me.

See? the sapling kills it. I took it from a distance and the sapling was that obvious at the time.

This year’s card (s) come from boxes and feature as design elements Peanuts™ characters and sparkles.

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

How ill is he?

Bush: Amazing progress in Iraq

Symptoms of chronic/serious mental illness:

Acute, "positive" symptoms (at least one of these usually present, at least during an exacerbation of illness):

Distorted perceptions; loss of contact with reality;
Disordered, disorganized and confused thinking.
Unstable and inappropriate emotions.
Bizarre behavior; impaired judgment.
Residual ("negative") or deficit symptoms (several of these usually present most of the time):

Vulnerability to certain kinds of stress.
Extreme dependency (sometimes combined with hostility).
Difficulty with interpersonal relationships.
Deficient coping skills.
Poor transfer of learning; fear of new situations.
Restricted emotional response and lack of enjoyment.
Reduced speech and impaired abstract thinking.
Reduced ability to pay attention; slowness.
Apathy; lack of motivation; phobic avoidance of situations.
Sensitivity to over- (and under-) stimulation

more information here
Go Jon Stewart!

Jon Stewart Named NSCAA Honorary All-America
Why do some Khristians hate the Baby Jesus

I go to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve - which counts as my Christmas obligation. Mass starts at roughly midnight and lasts until after 1am. It is Christmas Day and we are all at church, well, we the Catholics are at church, whether we go only twice a year or every week. It is Christmas regardless of what day it falls on - we go to Mass. I will complain if I have to go to Mass again the next day just because it's Sunday and I just went, but, on Christmas M-T-W-TH-F-SA-S we go to church.

Do Khristians not also have an obligation to go to church on Christmas? Do they solely mark the Birth of the Savior with children’s pageants and parties in the weeks prior? Does Bill O'Reilly know about this? Will he exhort his legion of FAUX viewers to go and hammer on the doors of their Megaplex Mega Churches and demand entry Christmas Day?

Adventus sums the whole thing up well.
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

How lovely are your needles all over my carpet and all though out my house…?

I got the big tree decorated and it only took me half an hour of trying not to, to break one of the ornaments. I don’t even have that many breakable ornaments! The kitty has been around for years now and even he hasn’t managed to break any in all that time and it takes me a half an hour to shatter one. It’s the damn hard wood floor, wall to wall is more tree trimming friendly. Alert O’Reilly! Hard wood floors are anti-Christmas!

My goal was to have a cat proof tree and I have been relatively successful with that: I should have gone for a Diana proof tree grumble, grumble as part of the cat proofing I have trained myself not to decorate the lower third of the tree and I keep what glass ornaments I have managed to not break, up and out of the way; after a while you don’t even notice that there is a sizable amount of bare tree. It’s not lit, it’s not decorated so it’s just dark and for the most part, invisible. It has worked well for Kitty and I.

Except, except for one year in the apartment when Kitty tipped over the table top tree I was using and then it got ugly. Kitty is now the only cat in the world that fears heights. Don’t tip my tree over, that’s all I have to say on that.

Most of what I put on the tree is plastic or wood or fabric anyway, mostly because of The Kitty but also because storage is easier with the non breakables. It was a something I did intentionally, and because I got a boat load of plastic ornaments dirt cheap and for a few years they were all I had.

A few years ago I got really tired of all the spheres plastic and otherwise on the tree and made an effort to move to different shapes and textures. There probably is a limit on how many happy meal toys that should be repurposed into Christmas ornaments but you know, you do what you have to do. One in year in college I used spools of thread from a sewing kit as ornaments and they were the right size for the tree and they worked out well. Almost anything can be an ornament if you want it to be.

The small tree in the office window is still undecorated but it is a pre-lit tree and I really do not see that it needs to be decked too. It’s only there for decorative reasons anyway and I don’t want Dogger to see it as interesting. This is the first year she is really in the same room with it round the clock, I was trying to think what I had used in years past to keep her away from it and I was coming up dry. Then I remembered: she was crated in years past and I didn’t need anything else to keep her from bothering it. Those were the days. The days before she ate her bed. Twice

This last time I was late coming home from work! Bad Diana! Dogger showed her displeasure by eating the other half of her bed and this time she meant business – she tore the elastic out of the mattress pad rendering it trash. So Dogger is officially and permanently sleeping on the floor. If she had a dog house she would be in it. The last time she tried to eat the bed and I took it away to I don’t know, “show her” she learned how avoid the floor by (she has to sleep on the padded floor! Oh no!! alert PETA! Notify the SPCA) figuring out how climb into the chair that also lives in that room. She doesn’t look comfortable when she’s up there but I guess she thinks it’s better than the alternative.

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Not Kosher!

Bush Observes Hanukkah Early

President Bush helped light a 38-inch gold and bronze menorah, which was loaned to the White House by the Park Synagogue of Cleveland. He said the nation is grateful to American troops of all faiths who are away from their families this holiday season.

Bush also met earlier in the day with leaders from Jewish day schools from across the United States. He said they are fulfilling the true lesson of Hanukkah every day of the year.

Hanukkah commemorates the Jews' successful rebellion against suppression of their religion under the Syrian-Greek empire in 165 B.C. Led by the Maccabee family, the Jews drove the Greeks from Jerusalem and reclaimed the Jerusalem Temple for religious services.

The story says there was only enough oil to burn the temple menorah for one day, but that miraculously it burned for eight days. Accordingly, Jews light the menorah on each of the eight nights of Hanukkah.

He said "they are fulfilling the true lesson of Hanukkah every day of the year". Um, that? doesn't make sense to me. In any way. So in the spirit of honoring religious holidays as it is convenient, will he be celebrating Christmas next week?
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Vote For Dogger!

Grrr. They keep moving them around! She's on page 3 now. Vote Vote Vote!!

Because nothing says Glory To God in The Highest like the Patriotic option.
It's that time again!

Holiday Greetings from The Kitty and Dogger!


The Kitty

Happy Happy Joy Joy

There is some rumor that Old Man Winter might be fixin’ to come by and see my little part of the world, or the forecasted “winter mix” might just stop short of here or we should anticipate Armageddon.

Thinking positively, a light wintery mix will make my outdoor decorations look nice so I am voting for that. It’s all about my Christmas decorations. I have an adorable penguin outside my front door and if he could have light covering of something white? And the pretty reflection of the lights on the pretty snow? that would be adorable.

It can’t do this, as adorable as it could make my penguin until after I go back to Sam’s and pick up my film and fill my tank and it should also wait until after I hit the Kroger and get more soda and bread for my lunch, or I could do that when I pick up my film… the weather Gawds can unleash do whatever they want to after I do my shopping. The world does revolve around me, thank you for noticing.

My lunch hour was spent at Sam’s. I had my film to drop off and I took a request off the Church Wish Tree and I decided that Sam’s would be a good place to take care of that. I was glad on Sunday that they had attendants at the tree because it gave me someone to ask about the request

Me – It says Men’s Pants. What kind of pants? There are many kinds. (slipping into severer over thinking mode)

Volunteer – Jeans or Khakis.

Me – Okay. (but what kind? Jeans or Khakis? I need more information!)

There are so many different kinds of men’s pants out there, they could have been more specific on the tag. Now I’m going to have to wonder if the man wanted work pants or winter weight pants or pants to wear to an interview… He is getting jeans. I hope they are close enough to what he was asking for.

I wouldn’t be going back to Sam’s Club after work except for that it is, has been and will be raining or snowing (depending on who you go to for your weather forcasting needs) for the next period of time and I am not in a hurry to go home and slog through the rain and wet and cold with Dogger – no matter how much she needs to be outside. I have no compunction to be out there with her. She can go toity very well out there with out me standing by to cheer her on. Dancing attendance in the freezing drizzel while a dog relives itself is not exactly part of the romantic ideal I imagined when I imagined pet ownership but it is part of pet ownership, it is just not the warm fuzzy puppy part that is in all the pamphlets.

So now after work I have to go back there and get my film and maybe the bread for my sandwiches unless it’s too crowded and the lines are a bitch – it is a Sam’s Club so the lines are going to be a bitch – but it’s kind of the level of bitchiness that is the question.

Will the lines be at Bitch From Hell status, imagine the lines at the grocery store between 5-6:30 pm on a week day or This is a Bitch status, imagine lines at Wal-Mart on Saturday afternoon when they have on 5 out of 23 lines open or even full on Son Of A Bitch! This was a bad idea!The Return line at Best Buy the day after Christmas. I wouldn’t go at all except I really want my pictures and I need the bread and I am out of soda and it really depresses me if I end up going to Kroger more then twice a week. I mean, going to Sam’s Club twice in a day is pretty sad, but looking at my check register and seeing Kroger after Kroger after Kroger listed is sad too.

Monday, December 5, 2005

I'm having a Martha Stewart moment. Posted by Picasa
FYI Raleigh Area Readers

The Century 21 people at 1513 Walnut Street, Ste. 200 in Cary will be holding an open houses to celebrate their new location December 3, 10, 17 and will be wrapping gifts for free between 9-5 and you can have your picture taken with Santa between 1-5. For every gift they wrap they will be donating $1 to the Red Cross. I will be there. I hate wrapping gifts, period and this sounds like a good way to both rid myself of a task I hate and I suck at and do something for charity.

Vote For Dogger!
Go Team.

The unprecedented number of troops who are returning from Iraq with missing limbs has given the US Paralympic Team an unexpected recruitment boost and the chance to become “unbeatable” at the next Games in Beijing in 2008. More than 60 potential recruits have already been identified in sports as varied as powerlifting, archery and table tennis.

For the US Paralympic movement, the influx of Iraq veterans brings it full circle from its foundations after the Second World War when many young troops returned home disabled. Subsequent wars have brought new recruits but not in anything like the numbers of Iraq, where more amputees are surviving thanks to better body armour and improved medical care. Advances in prosthetics technology make taking part in sport easier.

Maimed soldiers retraining to serve in another foreign field

We can't win in Iraq but we're going to kick ass in Beijing. That makes it all worth while. I bet the teams from the U.K and Poland are also strong this time around. Sigh

from Wonkette
As Seen On TV

This weekend while I’m not watching the Pandacam – dial up sucks yo – I am going to be: Raking the yard, getting the tree out of the attic and into the living room, dealing with the outside light situation, shopping and generally decking the halls as well as starting this years dog cookie baking. I should be able to get everything done if I develop a meth habit and an extra pair of hands.

I not only got both trees out of the attic, I got them put together, lit, and garlanded. I did cheat a little and went out and got new lights and garlands.

It is just not worth the frustration to me to mess with old lights and ancient garland - last year I put them, away with great care and in a neat and efficient manner, life is too short to waste any of it struggling with old lights and frayed garland. I had been hanging on to old, old, old garland that I was having to tie together for the last couple of years - this is dumb, they invented Big Lotts for a reason I learned that for $1.99 I could buy new light strands and for $2.50 I could buy enough new garland to festoon the whole front of the house as well as bring the Christmas Spirit to the drug dealer as well. While I was wandering around Poverty Barn, I also found a suitably cheap seasonal table cloth for the dinning room table!

I went home and after I finished bringing Christmas spirit to my dinning room, I arranged my multitude of Santa figurines over every flat surface not all ready covered by a creche’ set. It took me a while to see that I was collecting Santas, I had no idea I had amassed enough to constitute a collection. But now I have all the Santas and I want more.

After I had brought the Christmas spirit to the interior of the house, I took on the outside. I arranged the two strands of out door lights (Thank you Shrub for bringing us a two strand economy you bastard!) I put the absolutely fabulous tomato brace tree in place and while I was outside I raked the front yard. After I ate lunch I brought down umpteen boxes of tree trimming and took back upstairs the empty boxes - after I The Kitty emptied out the tree box all over the floor - Thanks to him and my rapidly ageing fake tree, I can do a soft shoe anywhere in the house! Yay.

The house looked good from the outside but I noticed with the curtains open you could see the mantel and it looked bare and dark. I went back to the attic and went through my many boxes of strings of light until I found a white net light with about two thirds of the lights not working - this was ideal! I added the lights to the excising fake greenery on the mantel and now the house looks awesome inside and out! When I turn on my fake fireplace it makes the whole scene look like the back drop to an As Seen On TV Not Available In Stores Order Now! Christmas Music ad. I love it.

After all that I got to work making dog cookies. Two batches.

I tried to stay up and watch SNL but I don’t remember much about it. Who is Dane Cook and why was he hosting? And whatever deeply sensitive singer song writer guy they had as a musical guest was like musical laudanum. I don’t think he was supposed to be performing lullabies.

So. I got everything done on my list with out developing a meth habit or growing a second set of arms. I also got my laundry done, did a little Christmas shopping and made it to Mass.

Sunday, December 4, 2005


Saturday, December 3, 2005

Go Horns!!!

Led by four touchdowns from Vince Young and two more from Jamaal Charles, the second-ranked Longhorns embarrassed Colorado 70-3 in the Big 12 championship game Saturday.

Friday, December 2, 2005

Friday Cat Blogging

Happy Thoughts

It's the 2005 Christmas cyberSnowglobe!!

BREAKING NEWS Ten U.S. Marines killed in action Thursday by homemade bomb near Falluja, according to military news release.

How the other half lives

more of the veddy, veddy expensive chocolate here

(stolen from Manolo the Shoe Blogger)
TGI Friday

Friday! Yay.

If you want something to make you look busy, go here and stare for 15 minutes intervals and watch the baby panda. Or they claim its’s the baby panda. It could be a cam in somebody’s closet too; I haven’t been able to make out any baby pandaness. It is the cam from the zoo but they could have a cam in a utility closet and people who coo over mop heads if no one told them that was what they were looking at … Baby panda mops are cute.

This weekend while I’m not watching the Pandacam – dial up sucks yo – I am going to be: Raking the yard, getting the tree out of the attic and into the living room, dealing with the outside light situation, shopping and generally decking the halls as well as starting this years dog cookie baking. I should be able to get everything done if I develop a meth habit and an extra pair of hands.

Dogger is on probation with her bed. She can behave herself while I’m in the house available to provided direct supervision, I mean that literally, I took a shower last night and I removed her bed from the room. She gave me a stink eye. She does all right with it over night so far, but I did find that she had moved the protective untasty blanket off and out of the way when I came in to get her up this morning. She hadn’t broken through the bed bag or the mattress cover yet but you could tell she had thought about it I took the bed out of her room before I left for the day. Dogger whipped out the stink eye when I did it but it’s her fault. She had that bed for months and never tried to eat it and now all of a sudden mattress stuffing is part of her food pyramid. I think Purina missed an opportunity here; mattress stuffing is the new beef. They should get on this.

Miss Dogger will not be sharing in the dog cookie extravaganza this weekend, those cookies are reserved for dogs that did not eat their beds. I can hear Dogger unpacking her stink eye as we speak but she did this to herself. Hmmph.

I’m still on the fence about decorating the trees this weekend. I haven’t seen any signs that anyone else is getting their decorations up yet and I don’t want to be the only house in the subdivision with a wreath up. I’m hoping this weekend everyone else will get on the ball too. I just don’t think I see myself actually putting the tree and the decorations up yet. I can see the tree standing in the window warming up and getting ready but I’m not excited about putting the bobbles on it.

This year there is a crimp in my tree placement too. The broken blinds are gone! Yay! Better visibility for the tree and less to catch on! Yay! but, The Kitty has discovered the wonder of the long hidden window sill and he likes it, a lot. He can jump up there and snark at the feral cats and see birds and watch the leaves fall – this is super but he all ready has his own window to see birds and watch leaves fall and he ignores it for the newer and more improveder window. It could get ugly. The last time he knocked over a tree he ended up air born. I’m hoping when he sees the tree go up he’ll get a flash back and spend Christmas hiding under the table.

Vote for Dogger here!