Friday, December 31, 2004

U.S. ups tsunami aid from $35 million to $350 million

"The United States will increase its aid pledge from $35 million to $350 million to help victims of the tsunami's in south Asia, CNN has learned. The increase followed criticism that the initial amount was far from enough. "

Headlines like this from the rather lame and GOP lap dogesque Raleigh News and Observer must have stung

Firms Give Big To Wave Victims
Total corporate donations to disaster-ravaged areas have outpaced U.S. Government aid

Right. Its really sad that it took bad PR for our Khristian President to do his Christian duty.

Oh Goody

Another dead rat! this one showed signs of abuse. This was dead rat number 13 or 14 for the year and the first dead rat since mid summer.
Endless pt. 2


Because I don't have to be up at O Gawd thirty in the morning, I'm not going to be. So, I'll just do my webmaster magic and make it Friday whether it is or not, remember you are in thedianaverse, I can do those sort of things.

So with out further ado :


Be safe, Be Happy and be back here on Monday!!!

Thursday, December 30, 2004

See For Yourself

Digital Globe has before and after pictures of the damaged areas. I couldn't link directly to those images, but on the linked page look for "Additional tsunami images can be found in the DigitalGlobe Tsunami Media Gallery" it's in red its to the lower right middle of the page.

from Digital Globe


I’m sitting here getting weepy about Jerry Orbach. I suppose it’s easier for me to get weepy over one dead actor then it is for me to get weepy over the 70,000 or 80,000 or 100,000 dead from the tsunami. I watched a video of it this morning. It was a pretty day before during and after. Bright blue sky. With that much destruction you would think it would be stormy and threatening with dark sky’s and lots of thunder and lightning, like the back drop for a tragic opera. Sitting on the beach on a pretty day is not supposed to kill you.

I can’t really deal with that much death all at the same time, it’s beyond my ability to conceptualize. Those huge numbers are equal to people, the numbers get too large and I can’t make it personal. There are too many faces to think about. I’m sure at this point the people there are having a hard time taking it as anything less then personally. Maybe the numbers are too large for them too. Maybe you just shut down? How do you deal with that many dead? They can’t bury them one at a time, you can’t have 80,000 funerals. The dead must be “dealt with” instead of honored. You can’t waste time with the regular customs. They stop being “Bob” or “Sandy” and become another thing. That’s what’s really sad, that was somebody’s uncle and now he’s just another thing that must be buried, to keep ahead of the disease, the rot, the smell. They can’t even say goodbye, there won’t really be anywhere to visit, no markers, no service, nothing. The Russians and really, just about everyone but us, have mass graves from the war, but that was war time. It was a pretty day.

I can deal with the concept of a single dead man. I feel very, very bad that Lenny Brisco is gone. I think I’m also feeling bad for all those people but I don’t know them – not that I know Jerry Orbach either, but he’s familiar. Those poor dead people have only been in my living room this past weekend, Orbach was there for years.

I just saw that Shrub has another “coalition” set up. He just loves committee work. I think “coalition” is the only big word he knows how to use in a sentence correctly. He also said something about how giving we Americans are. Yeah. I can send $10, Wow. That’ll do wonders! We can send cash, but it takes the Government to send the earth movers and medics and helicopters. Shrub is our government and in his heart, he does not really care about a lot of dead brown people. True, there are a lot of dead westerners too. How much do you wanna bet it took a picture of a dead blonde to make him pony up? Norway has 930 missing. I saw that and went “Dayum. There are a 930 rich Norwegians? How many Norwegians are there anyway? That sounds like a lot of Norwegians. What were 930 Norwegians doing in Indonesia?

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder confirmed 26 Germans had died and 1,000 were missing across the affected region. He said he feared the number of German casualties would rise to "well into the three-figure range".

UK officials say 26 Britons have been killed, while the Thai authorities say 43 British tourists are dead.

Around 930 Norwegians are believed to have been in Thailand at the time and are still unaccounted for. Norway, which is sending a second aid flight to the region, has confirmed 13 dead.

France has confirmed 20 dead and there were also victims from Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Poland, Denmark, the Netherlands, Belgium, Finland and Russia.
Swedish tourists have also been hard hit, with around 1,000 missing.

Correspondents say estimates of the numbers of dead vary and many western governments are maintaining conservative figures until they have firm confirmation of victims.

Why were all those people there? Is it some giant vacationland secret kept from us? Did the rest of the world leave us out of the loop on this? There is somewhere we ugly Americans don’t go? A warm, lush, tropical spot and we weren’t there? ( ed. to add, I did see one reference to "thousands of Americans missing", the hell? why aren't we hearing about them? are we embarressed?). It was a pretty day damn it.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Help the needy

Start with Network For Good they have a sizable number of charities to choose from. The site provides the financials for the charities, the groups back story, who is in charge, and reach numbers and email for them. It's very useful. Go.

lifted from This Is Not Over

Law & Order' Star Jerry Orbach Dead

edited to add longer story with list of his considerable credits

Jerry Orbach, RIP . I can't believe that Lenny Brisco is dead.
CRAWFORD, Texas (CNN) -- Interrupting a holiday vacation at his Texas ranch, President Bush is expected to speak publicly Wednesday for the first time about the Indian Ocean tsunamis that have killed tens of thousands.

How nice of The Leader Of The Free World to "interrupt" his vacation to speak about 71,000+ dead people. or 80,000 dependeing which headline you read. I'm so glad he broke away from his bike riding and brush clearing...

Ranting around the Christmas Tree

It snowed over the weekend. I didn’t actually see it snow, but my back yard was white when I came home and so it either snowed or my yard has the worst case of yard dandruff ever.

Kitty really wanted to go play in the yard yesterday but it was all ready close to dusk and the photo ops weren’t what they would have to be to make me go wander around in the snow myself. I told him if he really wanted to be cold I could put him into the refrigerator and close the door or if it was just cold feet he was jonesing for, he could walk barefoot on the bathroom floor at 6:05am. He opted to go roll around on his new catnip toy. Wise decision because after work tonight he will be out there and I will have my camera. I would hate for him to be out there for no reason especially when I have 800 speed film and a roll of Christmas pictures to finish. So, to sum up: outside for his reasons? Selfish Bastard, outside for my reasons? Team Player.

Since it did snow over the weekend, attendance at work today was down. As in years past when I answered the phones because I came to work, Call in’s abounded.

Lay about – I can’t come in.
Me – Why?
LA – The roads are a mess.
Me – I didn’t notice.
LA –It snowed!
Me – Yes.
LA – I can’t come in.
Me – I did.
LA – Well, you have a truck…
Me – Phhht.
LA- It’s cold out…
Me – Wear a coat.
LA – but it snowed!
ME – four days ago!
LA – Waahhh!
Me – How long have you lived in an environment where it snows regularly? Can you not prepare for this eventuality? Do you have some sort of memory lose issues? Can you not remember to park your car at the end of your driveway or in the street? How about being proactive about covering your windshield and having kitty litter or sand on hand? It’s called second gear! Use it!
LA – Click.

I hate these people. I come in if I have to swim to work. I don’t get paid enough to do it, but I do. I come to work. It’s called a Work Ethic. It’s what these people don’t have because they have been taught since elementary school that if you have to put some effort into coming to school, you shouldn’t have to come to school. They won’t come to work in the snow because they never had to go to school in the snow. God forbid they ever bother to learn to drive in it! I know they can walk in it because the streets are flooded with kids all day walking to the school to play in the snow. They go with the idea that if the kids out in the sticks can’t make it in, then nobody should make it in. They could pay to train the school bus drivers how to drive in the snow, but, hey!@#$%^! I know the school children in Minnesota make it to school over the winter in the snow, why can’t the school children in North Carolina? It really pisses me off when everyone else takes advantage of a little snow.

Let’s not even talk too much about lay abouts who blow off work because they “don’t feel well”. I don’t fell well either most days and I come to work. I would be the meanest boss ever.

Employee – I can’t come in.
Me – Are you dead?
Employee – No!
Me – And you aren’t coming in why?
Employee – I’m sick.
Me – Are you hospitalized?
Employee – Nooooo.
Me – Are you under doctors orders to not come to work?
Employee – Nooooo.
Me – Then, you’re late. We’ll talk about my tardy policy when you get here.

My Tardy Policy.

“Show up on time tomorrow or you’re fired.”

I will never be the boss.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Bad To worse

Tsunami Death Toll Climbs to 52,000
Corporate Douche Bags

The insurance industry wipes its brow in relief that only really poor people, in really poor places got killed and their homes destroyed because it would suck to have to pay for all that mess.

Vwery Interesting

U.S aid package to almost double What happened? did the grown ups finally come into work?
Reason 124,987 Shrub is going straight to hell

"Next month?s second inauguration for President Bush in Washington, D.C. The estimated budget for the event is $30-40 million" link note that the $40 mill does not cover security...

"The Bush administration yesterday pledged $15 million to Asian nations hit by a tsunami that has killed more than 22,500 people" (editors note, now? 33,000) link

from Atrios

I mean, straight to hell. No side trips to visit purgatory, no brief flashes of heaven. He has a non-stop ticket to Hell. His coronation is more important then 33,000 dead and eight nations in tatters? Not to mention our troops are at war and are with out proper armor and this guy wants to spend $40 million dollars on himself. Right now the devil is thinking "Dayum, what an asshole That guy is a real bastard" I can't wait to sit down with him!

A Third of the Dead Are Said to Be Children

"The realization began to emerge Tuesday that the dead included an exceptionally high number of children"

from NYT, registration req

Well. Hi! Gee. There you are. Yeah. Here I am. I didn’t forget you. Nope. I was born ready, tell you what. I can totally see now why everyone else was all “See you January 3!”. I get it, now. I see the wisdom of the two week reader blow off. Those Bloggers don’t love their readers like I do. Those Bloggers have enough readers to blow them off. I lurve each and ever one of you, all 30 of you. Hi.

I wasn’t sitting under a blanket in front of the TV with Kitty curled up on my lap, admiring my tree and dozing off two minutes ago. That was not me. I was hard at work as Blogger Girl. Right.

I had a great Christmas. I got what I wanted and even the super secret stuff I thought nobody would think of. It would have been easier to say I want __________ but I think its more fun to make people guess and then wonder why you aren’t speaking to them.

Dogger and Kitty did real well. Dogger got a beeyootiful new collar. Its pretty pink gingham with actual flowers! Its so Dogger! Its really hard to find pretty collars for dogs the size of Dogger. Large dogs get no love from the dog collar fashion industry. The designers make a lot of really mean spirited, tiny dog centric, big dog bigoted fashion choices as well as grossly incorrect assumptions based on the dogs size. It doesn’t matter that the four pound pretend dog totally ripped the throat out some toddler - that dog gets a really cute ultra suade collar with reinstone flowers and a matching sweater.

My dog, who wouldn’t rip the throat out of a stuffed bunny gets to choose between an orange plastic glow in the dark model or a heavy, black leather thing with spikes that looks like a belt of a fat, psychotic dwarf, for the really well dressed angry dwarf. A fat psychotic dwarf with an attitude problem, but still, its not a good look for a happy, thin, Dogger. Its not her fault she’s as big as she is, I’m sure she would rather be a spaniel or a beagle, some really cute Small Breed. It’s hard to be a really cute Large Breed. Its even worse that all the Large Breed collars are for boy dogs. Big, not at all pretty, boy dogs. If I had a large, gay dog… It would be really hard to find the right collar - unless it was a really butch gay dog then the proto typical fat psychotic dwarf belt would be the best and sadly, only choice. But what about the large, nelly dog? Who clothes them? Are there no designers of fashionable collars for the style conscious Large Breed gay dog? Do they make gay pride collars for gay dogs? I mean, shouldn’t your gay dog be able to express itself through its personal style?

Kitty got new toys to first destroy and then hide under the couch. He did appreciate them and even tried them out for the fam. He got up off his furry butt and danced around a little. It’s nice when he bothers to do cat like things for people who aren’t me. It was a Christmas miracle. It was also really cute. He got off his furry butt for the cat nip, Dogger got a cow knee. Kitty got high but Dogger got happy.

Monday, December 27, 2004


My spirit deficient neighbors all ready, all ready taken their lights down. The Christmas Season lasts until January 6, dayum people, is it so much trouble to pick up a liturgical calendar and check these things every once in a while? I swear to gawd if there is an Easter bunny in their yard tomorrow morning its going on a trip.
HAPPY "I don't have to be at work" MONDAY!!!

Sunday, December 26, 2004


Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Hisssssmass! Posted by Hello

Merry Christmas!! Posted by Hello


 Posted by Hello

Friday, December 24, 2004

Merry Christmas! Friday Photo Blogging. Posted by Hello

And while we're all thinking thoughts about Christmas Miracles or we're just thinking what a miracle it is that it's finally Friday, think a warm doggy thought for Answer Dog, "Bandit". He is a very sick little dog now and he needs a Christmas Miracle to call his own.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Serve those who serve

Injured soldiers need stuff I got this from Juan Coles' site and he's right, do something for them, then get angry with Shrub and Bushco and the rightwing army of brain washed neocon zombies for not supporting the troops. The injured troops have no use for the damned Support The Troops! magnets. Let the brain washed masses keep their stupid car jewelry. Help an actual soldier.
To Do list

To Do Today! Or else. Damn it. Don’t just sit there watching three year old reruns on BBC America, get up and move! Otherwise you are going to be up all night and you hate that.

1.Pack bags
-track down all Christmas themed clothing! - check!
-Remember, shoes are good. I need to wear shoes so I need to bring shoes, and my pajamas and many hair squishys. So I can loose them and leave them and not be able to find the right one at 6:30am and get freaked out. - check!
2. Pack Dogger's stuff
-Food, Bowls, Cookies, Sweater, Choke Chain, Bedding, Crate? - check!
3. Pack Kitty’s stuff
-Food, Box, Dust, Baby, Imodium! - check!
4. Santa!
-Take everything out to the car NOW. Just do it Now. - check!
5. Launder
-Dogger’s bedding, Dogger, Myself! Group shower? - check!
5. Be Social!
-cross the street neighbors are waiting! And waiting and waiting! - check!
6. Get film developed!
-Buy film - This is why they invented multiple Wal-Marts.
7. Shut off paper.
- Really, do this. Remember? DO it NOW. They aren’t psychic. They may be late but they never forget. You can’t count on them just staying home and blowing off delivering the paper just because you won’t be there to read it... If you were going to be at home you would kill them for that.
- Will do!

Things I could have done at lunch had been thinking

-Film to Sams
-picked up new film
-laundered dogs bedding
-gathered animal food

Okay, maybe that is stretching it, but still. I could had I planned ahead and not left my wallet at work. This is what I get for trying to be efficient. I know everybody is ordering their very own copies of Harry Potter 6, I know I can do this up until it actually hits the shelves this summer, I know I didn’t have to do it now. My wallet could have been in my purse where it belongs with me, in the car at Sams doing part one of “Getting All This Shit Done Now So I Can Leave on Time and Not Fight Traffic Thursday”. But No.

So, as you read this I am probably sitting in traffic being really annoyed at myself because I did get an early start but I forgot something, say the Dog and I had to drive back to go get her or I left all the gifts in the driveway or whatever I did to piss myself off this time.

Anyway. Have a Merry Christmas or just have a really good Saturday! Be safe, Have Fun and I’m going to update as I can, but chances are its going to be spotty. I’ll be back full time on Tuesday.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

More Bullets less Bread

From The New York Times

WASHINGTON, Dec. 21 - In one of the first signs of the effects of the ever tightening federal budget, in the past two months the Bush administration has reduced its contributions to global food aid programs aimed at helping millions of people climb out of poverty.

With the budget deficit growing and President Bush promising to reduce spending, the administration has told representatives of several charities that it was unable to honor some earlier promises and would have money to pay for food only in emergency crises like that in Darfur, in western Sudan. The cutbacks, estimated by some charities at up to $100 million, come at a time when the number of hungry in the world is rising for the first time in years and all food programs are being stretched..

..Several Republican and Democratic members of Congress are joining with food aid advocates to convince the administration that food aid should not be cut.
Last month, Representative Jo Ann Emerson, Republican of Missouri, led an effort with more than 30 other legislators that persuaded the administration to release 200,000 tons of grain from a trust fund for emergency food aid to Sudan.
Now she is lobbying the administration to finance foreign food aid programs fully and, if possible, increase the money. "I'm not saying the president is opposed to this, but we haven't had any indication what will happen," said Ms. Emerson, who emphasized that hers was a bipartisan effort.

With all the things that Shrub wants to spend money on, he can't see to feed the hungry? where in the bible does say" Yay, unto thee I say Balance thine budget at the expense of the starving? for yours will be the Kingdom Of Heaven".

So now the only way the starving, marginalized people of the world are going to know America is by our bombs? that we would rather kill them than feed them? George Bush thinks this is fine. He won't let them be taught about birth control so he'll solve the population problems by letting these masses starve to death.

Since we are no longer ponying up the cash for these food programs, and as such no longer in a position to forbid information on "Family Planning" maybe there is a silver lining to all this? "Hey! Good News! America no longer cares about you or your babies! Let me explain birth control to you!".

Insert Seasonal Title Here

This afternoon while I was playing with my split ends, I mean, working diligently, which is what I do at work all day. Work Diligently. Work, work, work. That’s me. I’m a worker bee. I almost never check my home email or shop online or obsessively check Atrios to see if any new outrage has surfaced. Nope, not me. Work, work work.

Earlier, while I was alphabetizing or punching holes in things or pretending I was paying attention to what people were talking about when they asked me things – they are a lot like the grown-ups in a Charlie brown cartoon. They come in they say “Blah, Blah, something, something, Suchandsuch Nursing and Rehab?” and I find it and give it to them and then they say “Whatever, Whatever, 2567 for Whachamacallit at Blahdeblah?” and I pretend like I care and then they go away. It’s really sad. I don’t even know most of these people’s names. They seem to know my name, more or less but I can’t even begin to identify most of them. They all kind of look a like. Middle Aged former floor nurses and the odd burned out Social Worker or Dietitian. Mostly women, mostly roundish. I don’t see them enough to form attachments to them and so when I do see them I have to pretend I know who they are. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the name tags some of them wear would pretty much give anyone who walked in off the street anything they asked for, if they knew what to ask for. When they piss me off I don’t even know who I’m mad at. I go to Lunch Buddy and ask her who I’m talking about.

Me – Short and blond? Thinks she’s all that? Long hair?

LB – Did she used to have reddish hair?

Me – I don’t remember. I think she’s the one who wore flip flops to a facility?

LB - Um. So and So?

Me – No. I don’t think so. This one wears a lot of theme sweaters?

LB – Oh! Such and Such! I hate her!

Me – Yes! That one! She’s a big pain in my ass.

My lameness knows no bounds.

The only ones whose names I do learn are the ones who have pissed me off in the past; it was hard trying to do Christmas cards because I didn’t know the names of the few of my co-workers I actually do like.

Speaking of cards. I finally got some I was feeling very hurt. I even got one from a law firm I do too much business with. I love Christmas cards and everyone here mounts their cards like hunting trophies - See How Many People Like Me! You don’t have as many as I do, People don’t like you! And so its kind of a contest. Lunch Buddy has actually thrown a card away because she didn’t believe that the sender really felt the sentiment of the card! I was like “What! You actually read the card and then care about what it says? Who does that? It’s a Christmas card! Tape it to the wall and move on! Trashing cards! Because you don’t think the sender meant it? you need a vacation”.

Speaking of vacations. My morning site checking routine has gotten much shorter, and I’ve been forced to actually work during the day! Everyone I read is taking time off, well not everybody, but it seems like it. Well, I’m still posting and (insert self-rightous blogger voice here) will be, gosh darn it! until, like, um, tomorrow than its over the river and through the woods to Mom and Dads house for me.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Is George Bush a Moonie?

Shine on Harvest Moonies? or The Mooncharian Candidate

from Atrios
Bill O'Liely can kiss my red and green blinking glow in the dark, singing, plastic life sized...

I was thinking about this, but Blondesense says is better then I ever could as she explains the nonsense and points out the utter hypocrisy that is the Khristan Christmas Rantings .

stolen from Blondesense

More American blood shed in Iraq. I hope Shrubs $40 million coronation goes well, I'm sure the moment of silence will be golden.


The next Harry Potter Book is finally finished and due out in July!

from The Raw Story

It’s December 21!!!

Well. It’s Tuesday. Yay. My new favorite TV show comes on, but I won’t say its name less the PTB decided to strike it down out of spite, as they are like to do with “my” shows, for example, I hate 7th Heaven and every reality show ever produced plus everything on PAX and pretty much everything on WB, UPN and CBS and see how well they are doing? If I think a show sucks, it’s guaranteed to stay on the air forever. The shows I really liked, like Action, Gross Point, and any number of other shows that have been gone so long I can’t remember they names any more! were really good, well written, original programming and they all died young. I hate the TV PTB. So, I have a new fav, but it must remain anonymous for its own protection.

December 21, it’s Broskys Birthday! He is as of today officially, very, very, very old. I am however still 25. Is also Dogger and my second anniversary! Brosky drove me way out to the sticks behind BFE to pick up Dogger. All I had to identify her was a little picture of a little dog and she no longer looked like the picture. The actual dog was all ready the size of a colt, but I had no idea this colt would grow into a Clydesdog.

They weren’t really sure how old Dogger was. She was either five or six or maybe four months but they were pretty sure she was six months. It didn’t matter how old she actually was, she possessed the plumbing of a six week old. I never knew what a role aroma plays in my outlook until Fabreeze™ entered my life and made it smell better. Piddle is not a happy scent.

But, first it was Broskys birthday and he is really old. I believe that he is even older then Dogger is in Dog Years. Dogger is now just a teenager while Broskey is getting cloying letters from the AARP. I used to get cloying letters from AARP, but then I wrote them and let them know they had made a mistake about my age and to stop writing me, and then they totally bent over for Bushco and its prescription medicine scheme and so I had to write them again and tell them to fuck themselves into perpetuity and to stop writing me. So now all I get is cloying pre-need funeral solicitations and I know the AARP are behind those, too. Bastards.

What else? It didn’t snow. It did get really, really cold and that sucks. I woke up cold, came to work cold and had every belief that I was going to stay cold all day. The building played a trick though, I was warm! Nice and warm. It’s never warm in here. I was at work and I was warm! Yay! I even was able to take my coat off before 2pm! I thought it was just me until I got a call to bring the Official DHHS/DFS thermometer to an office because they were dieing from the heat and they wanted proof of how hot it was in there for when they called and complained or for a nice detail to punch up their obits when they fell over died, which ever came first. It was so warm in that office the filing cabinets were hot to the touch. It had warmed up, it was hot. Like a steam bath hot. It’s cold in this building in August. It rarely gets warm enough to count as “warm” and it is now Hot. I went out to lunch and got a real shock. It was COLD outside, and in my car, and in the restaurant. Cold. I came back into the building after lunch and my glasses fogged up. I’m all ready looking for the workers comp forms for my pneumonia.

And, No. I am never satisfied. If its cool, I bitch because I’m cold, if it’s warm, I bitch because I’m hot. I’m a lot of fun to live with.

Monday, December 20, 2004

You Are a Fruitcake!

You taste like nothing else in this world.
And get ready, you're about to get tossed!

stolen from Blownfuse
Our President

Bushit likes the torture.

from Atrios
Behind the white door

Some of us are going to laugh out loud with Margaret Cho, then there are those of us who will be shocked! shocked that she used The M word in public in a mixed audience! how dare she! some one take away her subscription to Ladies Home Journal at once! the rest of us are boys and won't get it at all.
Our Nations Top Cop...

Attorney General nominee specifically discussed how to justify torture techniques,whole story here .

They all ready Zoe Bairded the last appointee, what will they flush this guy with? I mean,ugly things keep piling up with Kerik. What are they going to find with Torture Fan? he's been a Bushit friend for a long time and Bushit has such intersting friends... Pimp? kiddy porn? serial killer? its going to be something.

from The Raw Story

Google Nonsense

Content - Earnings Accrued During November $5.60
Payment Calculated
Total $5.60

Note: We will mail you a check for your account balance within 30 days of the end of every calendar month that your earnings amount to $100 or more.

So, pretty much I'm not going to see money from this little enterprise until, at this rate? this time next year.

Let is snow, let is snow let it STOP

As I write this it is trying to snow. Its ben working itself up all day to this. It started off more or less sunny and not even all that cold. Then it started to spit on us, but not like it really meant it, more like it was on the phone and its mother was bitching at it to start raining but it was sitting in silence holding the phone to its ear “talking” to its girlfriend and it was really busy and not interested in raining on anything.

It isn’t snowing yet, but it looks like it could if it would get off the damn phone and help out around the house more. I know this sky. This is the sky I grew up with, that didn’t actual snow on us but always looked like it could, if it wasn’t 45 degrees outside and if we lived somewhere else and it was below freezing and there was snow forecast. It would certainly be snowing.

I had to take time out of my busy schedule of flipping through the channels to do the laundry and fill the dishwasher and bringing the vacuum into the kitchen so that later on I could vacuum up the dry stuffing I spilled on the kitchen floor at lunch -so I was much more useful today then I had any business being.

That’s not even counting going to the dollar store and Wal-Mart.

I was going to wrap a thing for my nice neighbors. I had the paper out to wrap it and needed scissors it came to my attention that I didn’t know where the scissors were and it was occurring to me that I ran out of tape last night so I couldn’t wrap it and I still have things to wrap and I can’t do any of them until I find the scissors and go buy tape. So I looked for the scissors and couldn’t find them, and I said “How did I wrap that thing last night if I didn’t have scissors? Well, I didn’t use scissors, because the paper came in sheets and I only needed one sheet and so I didn’t use the scissors at all. But now, I was out of tape and I couldn’t find the scissors and I really needed them and I wanted to make a copy of my spare key.

I made a trip out for tape and scissers, I went to this new dollar store I found, its in the Wal-Mart parking lot and its nice for a dollar store. I found the scissors but I couldn’t find the tape. They had tape but it was in a combo pack with packing tape and it didn’t look like there was much tape in either, so I had to wander around looking for tape. Since this is a new dollar store there was a helpful attendant who directed me to the tape, but it was the tape I all ready knew about. The helpful attendant pointed out that the tape I really wanted was there but it was on a higher shelf and it was almost gone. The attendant rescued my tape for me and I was off. I hope the helpful attendant wasn’t looking for a tip, because I left for the Wal-Mart.

I was going to get a duplicate of the key that I had assumed I had been using as a spare for the car. It looked like my car key, I was pretty sure it opened the car and I found it in a pocket so I was pretty sure this must be The Key. I even put it back in its hiding place before I decided that I would get it copied.

After waiting for days in line, I get up to the front give them my key and wait for them to do their Key Thing.

Me - Here is my key.

Them - Is this for a Nissan?

Me - No, its for a Dodge minivan.

Them - Are you sure?

Me - I used to drive a Nissan, but now I drive a Dodge minivan. The key is for the minivan.

Them - This is for a Nissan.

Me - No, its for my van. A Dodge.

Them - It’s a Nissan key.

Me - DAMN.

I went out to the car to open it withe the spare key, because those frauds at Wal-Mart don’t know from keys.

They know Nissan Keys from Dodge keys.

Sunday, December 19, 2004


Saturday, December 18, 2004

Cool Site


Every hour, 10x10 scans the RSS feeds of several leading international news sources, and performs an elaborate process of weighted linguistic analysis on the text contained in their top news stories. After this process, conclusions are automatically drawn about the hour's most important words. The top 100 words are chosen, along with 100 corresponding images, culled from the source news stories. At the end of each day, month, and year, 10x10 looks back through its archives to conclude the top 100 words for the given time period. In this way, a constantly evolving record of our world is formed, based on prominent world events, without any human input.


This site is fantastic. Its the news, but's its the news made into art. It looks like a quilt, each little square is a story. When I went for example, there were 10 little pictures of Israel's' Sharon, several of Pinnochet and a several that referenced something happening in Turkey.

Friday, December 17, 2004


How are these not burglers tools? and what am I supposed to do with them? keep them in the car> then what about when I lock myself out of the car? are they for useing on other peoples cars? I mean, that might be a nice gesture and everything, but if I lock myself out of my car and then away from my burglers tools, how am I supposed to get back into my car? and what about if I, Gawd Forbid got pulled over and the cop saw them, would he be able to haul me off to jail for having these burglers tools with me? because I don't see me doing well in jail. Maybe that whole site is some kind of trap? you never know.

But, if I did buy them, why don't then come with an attractive leatherette case for my purse? because if I'm going to have to carry toys like this around for the rest of my life because I am the stoooppiedest person on the face of the planet, they could at least come in an attractive leatherette case or even better! because if I'm locking my keys in the car you can bet my purse is locked in there with them, if they just came in a big giant magnet I could fix to my car somehow. That would be cool.
Are those?...

If you ever wondered if people notice what you wear on your feet, wear saddle shoes. I've spent the day having conversations that consist of : "yes, am wearing saddle shoes" and "sure I'll listen to how much you hated wearing them back in the day". I've spent the whole day listening to everybody's saddle shoe related school traumas. Its weird, I had no idea there were so many people who hate these shoes.
Count down to Rumsfeld ouster starts in 5, 4, 3, 2...

Rummy didn't bother to sign letters of condolence himself, well, he does now...
Winter Blahs

The Weather outsider is frightful. It's cold and getting colder and some people at work are saying that the TV said it was going to snow over the weekend. These are Church going people. They should know better than to cuss like that.

I don't want to hear about any snow. I suppose it doesn't matter, all my outdoor plants died the other night. This was after they spent the night better protected from the cold than the average homeless person. I came out the next day and was shocked! "What do you mean being dead? , I protected you! I put my towels over you, out here where they can get slugs on them for you! And you then you still die? Bastards!"

Really pissed me off. They lived though the first really cold night but didn't have the stamina to make it through the next one. Losers. I suppose that the hydrangea is not really all that dead, but now I have to cut it back and I'm pretty sure that the pansies are really dead and need to be pulled up. They were really pretty for a long time and they then just died. Weak willed flowers, they don't call pansies pancy's for nothing.

I went out there in the dark and cold in my PJs to look after the little bastards and how to they pay me back for my attention? By dieing and forcing me to be out there this weekend in the probable snow pulling their dead selves out of the ground. I really am not looking forward to being cold as well as muddy. Thanks Plants!

Dogger is also working my nerves.

I think I have explained at length how everyday I rush home from work, change my clothes and rush back out with her so she can get her exercise and be all happy (because when she doesn't get her exersice? I get unhappy). We go to ball field and I hurry up and throw the ball for her. It's a quicky way to make up for her usual walk, which we can't do anymore now that it gets dark by you know, Noon... I have a bag in the car with her Chuck It toy, tennis balls, plastic bags, an extra leash and dog cookies; but, Dogger doesn't want to fetch the ball anymore. Dogger wants to sniff the air and trot all over the field looking for invisible somethings. I don't know what it is she thinks she's going to find, but there is nothing there. The only thing I can think of that she might be looking for is the over head lights. There are some in the parking lot and she may have never noticed them until they started to turn on. She seems to be paying attention to the planes and helicopters flying overhead. She's more interested in the basketball players then she is when it's warmer. She just will not pay attention to the ball.

I tug on her collar and jump around and get all excited Ball! Dogger! Look! Ball! Yay! Look! and act like the Chick It is going to bring about World Peace and she just looks at me. I throw the ball Look! Ball! for her and she starts to sniff the air and contiune her search for Jimmy Hoffa. I have gotten very good at finding tennis balls in the dark. I am better at it then she is. Go Me. I go to the park to throw the ball for myself.

Dogger thinks she's a scent hound now. She isn't any such thing. She has no idea what she is smelling and no clue as to where it is. I finally took her all around the outside of the ball field and all over the rec center grounds and I couldn't find anything lying around throwing off smell. Dogger was making like the kids from The Family Circus, I was half expecting to find a dead squirrel or cat or even the fox or, maybe something the fox started on and they got scared away from - carrion, a dirty diaper, a bumcicle something that could be making Dogger all of a sudden Dogger Drew, Girl Dog Detective. The mystery continues.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Bush takes first steps to distroy Social Securtity

Shrub hates old people but loves old banks
Merry Computer Virus!

Another virus warning
(eating) Alone again, naturally

Three days in a row I had to eat by myself. Well, actually, two days if you don’t count Monday as Monday was the Employee Holiday Luncheon – but since I do count eating with the office newbie “eating by myself”, it does count. This befell me because Lunch Buddy thought getting her December haircut was more important than saving me from this conversation:

Office Newby - How long have you worked here?
Me - ( chewing, chewing. Go away now, bye-bye!) Three years.
ON- How old are you?
Me - Sorry? (Nah, she didn’t. Chewing, chewing. If I don’t answer will you figure out that your question is rude? ask my name, ask what I get paid, ask me what kind of “feminine hygiene products” I favor, but honey, really, if you’re going to get that personal with me, kiss me first or something.) What?
ON– How old are you?

I should have told her I don’t keep track , or I’ve forgotten, or I was born on leap year or I’m 45 or used to be a man, something to make her decide maybe she doesn’t really want to talk to me any more. I’m sure I could strike up a conversation with the octogenarian who retired during the Carter administration and who seems to like discussing her husbands’ prostate problems. I gave in and gave Newby an approximate age while she peered at me as she was though she was looking for cracks in my veneer or my sell by date.

ON - You look younger than that. (still peering) No one would guess.
Me - Thanks. So far so good. ( stop staring at me newbie! Didn’t anyone tell you the story of Medusa? Look away! Damn it.)

Me - So, how old are you?
ON - 21, but people are always telling me I look years older.
Me - 21! I would have guessed at least 32! Well, good for you! You probably don’t get carded often. When I was 21 I was still getting carded for R rated movies. I couldn’t buy beer without a copy of my birth certificate and a note from my Mother. I bet you’ve been buying beer since like, 8th grade. Oh! Could you “do me the favor” get me some beer? I totally still get carded and my drivers’ license is a little fake looking.

End of conversation.

Tuesday went better. I read my book and got a new Sponge Bob toy. I ate alone but I did get a good toy and nobody asked me questions I didn’t want to answer. So, score.

Today, I froze all morning in my office. According to the Official DFS thermeter, it was 58 degrees this morning. I work inside. 58 degrees is cold. I was cold all morning, went outside to my car and was cold, went to lunch, was cold and got no toy and shivered for an hour, inside. No score. I’m still cold, later, I’m going to go home and be cold.

I learned last year that I can either – Have the Light Show or Turn the Heat Up. I can not do both and pay my mortgage. So as to keep my rep as the Lighty-iest house on the block I spend the month of December watching the little TV in the dark, in three layers of clothing, two blankets and a cat. Cold, Cold, Cold!

Last Friday night I finally decorated the tree. Lights, balls, little figurine things, the shiny garland, the whole thing. I have not seen the tree during the day. I’ve only been around after dark and I haven’t had a chance to see what it looks like in the daylight. The no doubt, cold light of day.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

George Bush, Yale Graduate, Lame Duck President of the United States of Jesus...

and now...

Economic Comic!

from Atrios
Oh! The Pengmanity!

Won't someone think of the starving baby chillrins?. Baby ducks got 'nothin on baby penguins. Baby penguins? penglings? penghicks?

Why isn't PETA airlifting Pengchow? or working to feed them? I guess they would love them more if they were eatable or had pretty fur. PETA doesn't want to leave its warm office to take care of animals who actually need them. PETA would rather sit at its desk and write screeds about ladies winter outerwear. PETA punks out on actual animal care.

Starving baby penguins...
So, done with your shopping?

I am!

Sorry. I have such low expectations for myself that getting this done is a big deal... I did get my plastic bill and now I’m going to have to start playing Kitty’s M. Butterfly CD so when I pull out his pleather hot pants and fuchsia tube top, it won’t be a complete surprise to him. He’s really quite stunning in his little fuck me pumps and orange Cher wig. Yup. I’m so tapped I’m going to have to whore out my cat.

Can’t you just see Kitty standing at a corner? Selling tricks head butts and kitty snuggles? And not just stuff like that, if the john is into the hard stuff, kitty will do that to. He has no problem going to a no tell motel and curling up on their heads and tickling their noses with his tail, he’ll lick their faces and even, if the trick is really flush with cash, he’ll play with string! But it’s not all the really sick stuff, sometimes he just goes over to the johns’ house and will watch TV with them for a few hours. He curls up in their chair with them and snoozes, lets them scratch behind his ears acts like a cat… It’s all the same to Kitty as long as he gets paid – if they try to stiff him, he knows how to destroy their couch and leave cat bombs in hard to find places. It’s shocking, and its wrong, but Mr. Kitty is a professional.

Dogger on the other hand sucks as a whore. She’s all about hanging around the corner. But she looses it the minute a john pats his car seat! Oh, she’ll jump right in, and she’ll ride around with her head out the window for an hour or so and then come back to the corner all excited about her ride in the car, but she never has her money! She won’t charge! She never gets a major credit card and she’s too embarrassed to ask for her payment. She goes on walks to parks with the john, and totally sells the whole “cute guy with a cute dog” conceit and helps the john pick up women and she forgets that as fun as it is, it’s not real, and its’ her job! And she has to get paid. Sure she’ll ask for a head scratch and maybe a nuggie and then he's gone. She wanders back and wants to take a nap. It’s maddening!

Kitty says he has heard that all dogs are whores but they don’t ask for money! That they’ll do anything for attention and yet they never ask for cash. Kitty has a whole chart set up of what he’ll do and for how much – it’s in power point, it’s really quite impressive. Kitty does nothing for free.

Dogger has no clue. When I showed her Kitty’s power point presentation she just yawned and wanted to eat the hand outs. She would not understand that as an allegedly professional attention whore that she has responsibilities and she needs to get with the program. She needs to be able to talk frankly with the johns and not be afraid to hand over the menu and list of prices. I’ve tried to make it easier for her, I signed her up with Paypup… but she won’t get with the program, she claims she’s into Free Love.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

FCC Action Alert!!!

1. Go to HERE and find your Limbaugh station.
2. Send an email to with your own version of the following:

On Monday, December 13 in the 2nd hour of his program (1pm EST) broadcast on [CALL SIGN HERE], Rush Limbaugh used the vulgar, sexual term "dick" when referring to a Miss Plastic Surgery pageant. Specifically, Limbaugh said:

"LIMBAUGH: Miss Plastic Surgery. (chuckle) And – I’d – I’d – I – I don’t – I don’t know what the winner – I – and, oh, I didn’t print out both pages, so I don’t know what the – I don’t know what the winner gets. Probably a certificate to go to San Francisco to have an
add-a-dick-to-me operation. "

According to the FCC:

Information regarding the details of what was actually said (or depicted) during the allegedly indecent, profane or obscene broadcast. There is flexibility on how a complainant may provide this information. The complainant may submit a significant excerpt of the program describing what was actually said (or depicted) or a full or partial recording (e.g., tape) or transcript of the material.

In whatever form the complainant decides to provide the information, it must be sufficiently detailed so the FCC can determine the words and language actually used during the broadcast and the context of those words or language. Subject matter alone is not a determining factor of whether material is obscene, profane, or indecent. For example, stating only that the broadcast station “discussed sex” or had a “disgusting discussion of sex” during a program is not sufficient. Moreover, the FCC must know the context when analyzing whether specific, isolated words are indecent or profane. The FCC does not require complainants to provide recordings or transcripts in support of their complaints. Consequently, failure to provide a recording or transcript of a broadcast, in and of itself, will not lead to automatic dismissal or denial of a complaint.

The date and time of the broadcast. Under federal law, if the FCC assesses a monetary forfeiture against a broadcast station for violation of a rule, it must specify the date the violation occurred. Accordingly, it is important that complainants provide the date the material in question was broadcast. A broadcaster’s right to air indecent or profane speech is protected between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. Consequently, the FCC must know the time of day that the material was broadcast.


Stolen lock stock and links from
Not even in the job yet and has all ready decided that the poor, elderly and sick are expendable

Health Secretary Nominee May Cut Programs

Because stomping on the poor and elderly is the best way to bring the budget under control. So, lets see. Bushco plans on bringing the wildly out of control budget to heel by:

1.Stomping on the poor and elderly, What? They're going to die anyway! Suffering brings you closer to Gawd.

2.Under supplying the armed forces. See above.

3.Paying Haliburton millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars . They are bravely doing business in a dangerous place and come under fire! They are just simple civilians who need to be compensated for their hard but Patriotic job choice and they could be at home driving that truck for $25 grand a year! We need them where they are, driving that truck for Murica for $75 grand a year!

Ding, Dong Merrily while High

Tired of endless repetitions of Jingle Bells and Santa Clause is Coming To Town? It could be worse, much, much worse… Imagine the following, over and over and over. It will make you long for such Christmas classics like Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer or Jingle Bell Rock.

I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian

There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage
I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

Nuttin' For Christmas

I broke my bat on Johnny's head;
Somebody snitched on me.
I hid a frog in sister's bed;
Somebody snitched on me.
I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug;
I made Tommy eat a bug;
Bought some gum with a penny slug;
Somebody snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I put a tack on teacher's chair
somebody snitched on me.
I tied a knot in Susie's hair
somebody snitched on me.
I did a dance on Mommy's plants
climbed a tree and tore my pants
Filled the sugar bowl with ants
somebody snitched on me.

So, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I won't be seeing Santa Claus;
Somebody snitched on me.
He won't come visit me because
Somebody snitched on me.
Next year I'll be going straight;
Next year I'll be good, just wait
I'd start now, but it's too late;
Somebody snitched on me.

So you better be good whatever you do
'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas.
-S. Tepper, R. Bennett

And where there is nuts there is the:

The Chipmunk Song

Dave:all right you Chipmunks! Ready to sing your song?
-I'll say we are!
-Let's sing it now!
Dave: Okay, Simon?
Dave: Okay, Theodore?
Dave: Okay, Alvin? Alvin? ALVIN!

Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for toys and time for cheer
We've been good, but we can't last
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast
Want a plane that loops the loop
Me, I want a hula hoop
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Dave: Okay fellas get ready.
That was very good, Simon.
Dave: Very good Theodore.
Dave: Ah, Alvin, you were a little flat, watch it.
Dave: Ah, Alvin. Alvin. ALVIN!

Want a plane that loops the loop
I still want a hula hoop
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Dave: Very good, boys
-Lets sing it again! Yeah, lets sing it again!
Dave: No, That's enough, lets not overdo it
-What do you mean overdo it?
-We want to sing it again!
Dave: Now wait a minute, boys
-Why can't we sing it again?
-[chipmunk chatter]
Dave: Alvin, cut that out..Theodore, just a minute.
Simon will you cut that out? Boys...

All courtesy of The Christmas Carol Lyric Page

Monday, December 13, 2004

Merry Christmas?

From my church bulletin, I'm. So. Proud...

Parking woes

As you may have noticed, we are experiencing serious congestion problems in our parking lots on Sundays... We ask that you please refrain from blocking vehicles, double parking, verbally abusing each other and displaying un-Christian behavior. Please remember why you are here.

I park on the street.
Vetting process for Admin appointees questioned

well, duh. No shit?! You think someone could have checked this guy... but at the same time, he was just picked for his symbolicness anyway and why would they check on a Symbolic appointee? I mean the Secretary of Symbolic doesn't really need to be vetted does he? he can just sit around and tell the rest of the staff what he was doing on 9/11. He doesn't need to be useful or qualified, he was in NYC on 9/11! Damn it! He's a symbolic reminder! to the admin and the rest of the country! 9/11!, 9/11!, 9/11! He's like a marginally warmer and slightly less fuzzy version of The Patriot Act! a taller, balder, Patriot Act!

and he's kind of a fascist, and a criminal and he has no interest in personal privacy or The constitution, so yeah, he is the living embodiment of The Patriot Act.

Gold Globe Nominations

And the people who were the nicest to the foreign press this year...
Jingle Blogs, Jingle Blogs...

Jingle All The Way oh what fun it is to blog!

I was driving home yesterday afternoon and what to my wondering eyes to appear but $1.67 gas!

Okay. I kind of needed gas anyway and I would love to “only” pay $1.67 a gallon. So. I pulled off and reminded myself what side of the car my tank is on, before I got out of the car I got my credit card out of my purse and as I was getting out of the car I locked the door. Anywhere in there do you see “took keys from ignition”?. No?, neither did I. I knew it though, from the minute I shut the door and went to swipe my card. I felt it. First I checked my coat pocket because of course I habitually remove the keys from the ignition after I turn off the car. I did turn the car off. Yay me.

So. I stand there for a moment and remember that I do have an extra key on the car, this is not the first time I’ve locked myself out of a car - its not even the first time I locked myself out in the last few months. The key was not where it was supposed to be. But maybe I put it back in the wrong place?! No. Moron. I didn’t. It was not where it was supposed to be because I did not put it back the last time this happened, MORON.. I stood next to the car and

1. Beat myself up.
2. Beat myself up.
3.Beat myself up.
4. Swore to make about 37 copies of my key and hide them all over the damn car as well as keep one taped to my body at all times.

This was not getting the car open. I had to take action. I had to admit to first being an idiot and then find someone to help me out of what I had done. I go inside and ask the girls working the counter if they had a bent hanger.

”No, hangers” one had a friend who is a locksmith and she would call him, but “he’s was out of town today”. Great. Then I went back and looked again for the key I now knew was not in any way on that car. Okay, find another way... All the windows were closed, the many doors were all securely locked. Damn vehicle! I tried talking to it:

Hi. Look, I know you’re an American car. I know you have issues with not being a Honda. I feel you on that. We can’t all be Hondas. Just help me out here. Let one of your windows open a little, not much, just a little, enough to let me slide something down inside ( when I find something to slide down inside!) And poke the little lock thingy. I promise it isn’t going to hurt (much). Try to make one of your doors open!, I bet you work hard to keep those doors shut, just let one open a little, or just let me pry the door open enough for me to slip my arm in. Puh-leeeesssss! Let one of your windows go down just a little! Punk out on your anti-thievery protocols you poorly made American Car! I know you can! I know you want to!...

I went back inside again. We called the sheriff to see if they would help out a stranded female motorist. No they would not. The highway patrol wasn’t interested unless there was a young child involved and no, pets do not count. The gas station was outside the city limits so the cops wouldn’t come out at all. Bastards.

The counter girl remembered that she keeps a bent hanger in her trunk so she can get into her car when she locks herself out. By this time the smaller of the two attendants came out to try to open the car. She has small fingers and she said she has gotten other cars open. She wasn’t small enough and the car was not cooperating.

I called a locksmith. He came, I gave him just about all my cash and I went on my way. For the cheapest gas I’ve seen in a while it was the most expensive fill up ever.

PS.- Hi Mom! Don’t tell Dad.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

The Kitty says "Merry. Christmas." Posted by Hello

Saturday, December 11, 2004


Friday, December 10, 2004

Big Pharma occasionally doesn't mess up

A TB cure that is better, faster and stronger then old TB cures. It could save millions of lives. Yay Johnson and Johnson!
”Baby, its cold inside

As I sit here writing this, it’s almost 2pm. I am still wearing my coat. INSIDE. It’s always cold in my office, but it’s usually always warmer by the afternoon. I would be wearing gloves now but they are hard to type in.

And, it’s raining. A lot. Hard. There goes my plan to hang my lights this evening. I was going to just bite the bullet and do it in the dark. My neighbor did that they other day and I didn’t see the world coming to an end. But, I am not going to hang lights in the rain. I am not that dedicated to the cause and hanging lights in the rain could very well cause the world to end, I would check, but I’m pretty sure that there is a rule about that, somewhere like in Revelations. I say a little prayer for my timer that allows me to not have to go and plug and unplug my lights in the rain. Thank you Gawd for the little timer!.

What else can I do? I could start to wrap presents – yuck. I hate wrapping presents. I suck at it, everything I wrap looks like something a four year old did and everybody applauds because “What a good job Johnny did wrapping that all by himself!”, and then everybody laughs because Johnny can’t wrap for shit. I am Johnny, or actually, I am Joannie and by this time no one applauds my attempts at wrapping. They just skip right to the laughing because I can’t wrap for shit. But, it’s going to have to get done. Monday is the lunch and that means its gift exchange day, I will be out of town over the weekend and unless I really want to be up late Sunday wrapping, it’s going to need to be done sooner rather than later. Oh, and don’t suggest the bags. I know the bags. I like the bags but sadly, you can not buy a roll of bags and tear them off in the size you need. Bags are things you have to be one by one for each specific gift and I am too cheap for that.

Dog is really going to need a walk tonight. She won’t be thrilled about the rain but she didn’t get a walk last night and she made my life miserable all evening. I thought that a nice ride in the car would be sufficient to get her tired out but it doesn’t work like that. What I should have done is tied her to the car and let her jog along side. That would be very dangerous and all but I think in the moments before she either fell over from exhaustion, slipped under the wheels of the van or got clipped by another vehicle, she would have been happy about the exercise. Sitting in the car watching me drive is not really the same as an actual walk; Although I would think that any departure for her usual routine would be credit towards a walk, even if she didn’t actually walk anywhere except to and from the car – she did jump over the seat at one point and I think that counts, kind of. Anyway, she should have been tired-er then she was.

The Rain. To quote Seinfeld “have you ever noticed”, that when it’s raining the distance between two fixed points increases exponentially the harder it is raining? The harder the rain in coming down the further your car will become from where you are. A trip from the car to the restaurant could make you rethink your whole stance on eating in general On a Sunny day? You can whip back and forth no problem, have something in your hands and don’t want to carry it into the store? Drop it off in the car! Takes only a moment, Rainy Day? You’ll never make it back in time. Oh, and when you or as it is I finally get back to work after being rained on, and now having a wet coat? The office will still be freezing and now you, or I, as it is, am not only cold, I am now damp. Cold and damp. What fun!

Thursday, December 9, 2004

LONDON, England (AP) -- More than half the world's children are suffering the effects of poverty, war and HIV/AIDS, denying them a healthy and safe childhood, UNICEF's annual report said Thursday.

The United Nations children's fund report on The State of the World's Children found more than 1 billion children were growing up hungry and unhealthy, schools had become targets for warring parties and whole villages were being killed off by AIDS.
Compiled by UNICEF and researchers at the London School of Economics and Bristol University, the report found more than half the children in developing countries lived in poverty without access to basic goods and services.

It also said:

• One in six children was severely hungry.
• One in seven had no access to health care.
• One in five had no safe water.
• One in three had no toilet or sanitation facilities at home.

The report found 640 million children did not have adequate shelter; 300 million had no access to information such as TV, radio or newspapers and 140 million children, the majority of them girls, had never been to school.

Poverty was not confined to developing countries, the report said, as the proportion of children living in low-income households in 11 of 15 industrialized nations rose in the past decade.

The UNICEF report said the world had the capacity to reduce poverty, conflict and HIV/AIDS and improve the plight of the world's children. It said Millennium Development Goals, which aim to improve the world through human development by 2015 and were agreed to by the U.N.'s 191 member states in 2000, could be achieved at an annual cost of $40-$70 billion. In comparison, world spending on military in 2003 was $956 billion.

Because spending on taking lives is so much more sexy than spending on saving lives. Bombing villages makes them like you much more than when you feed their village. Its all about building "mutual respect".


Its The Righteous v. The Self-Righteous

United Church of Christ launches campaign over ad refusal - will challenge FCC licenses of NBC/CBS stations.

Onward, Christen soldiers...

from America Blog
Ten Commandments Backed by Bush Administration in Court Fight

Dec. 8 (Bloomberg) -- The Bush administration, saying that religion ``has played a defining role'' in the nation's history, urged the U.S. Supreme Court to permit Ten Commandments displays in courthouses.

from Bloomberg News

Okay then.which version? Now, that's a toughy. Which will they pick? The protestant version is awfully wordy, carving that into countless stone tablets would be costly, although I'm sure it would be a great boon to the Stone Carving industry, the Catholic version is much more cut and dry but many Fundies hate Catholics and see us as a cult or worse. They would definitely not stand for any papist nonsense cluttering up Their courthouses, and how about the Hebrew? Also, wordy and much less easy to digest - requiring thought a significant change in lifestyle not to mention a real bummer for the seafood industry.

This is the first step, see Saudi Arabia as an example of what the next steps could be. You start with the 10 Commandments and end up with The Religious Police.

from Atrios
Making her list

“And checking it twice and then losing it and forgetting what she was supposed to do and making her list again and deciding the lost list had more things on it and trying to remember what those things were since they were obviously important enough to make the list in the first place and then second guessing herself ad invinitum…”

Man, how does Santa do this every year? It must be the elves. I need an elf.

So many things so little daylight to do them in. Its this time of year I really wish I had a treadmill for the Dogger. I could plug her in and then go run my errands. I’m sure she would be totally down with that. Or not. She would probably pee on it and make a mess or be scared of it and refuse to go near it. She is such a luditte. I try to introduce her to new technologies and she totally refuses to integrate them into her life style. If she was open to new things, with her cooperation, I could have taught her to use the toilet or a least a box, like the cat. But nooooooooo.

So this leads me to a Sophie’s Choice kind of place. But instead of choosing between children I’m forced to choose between taking Dogger on a walk and thus saving my sanity later in the evening, or going and mailing Christmas gifts to family and friends before the post office closes. The PO closes about the same time that Dogger and I need to hit the road and go for our walk; I can’t be two places at once. I could take Dogger with me to the PO, and then walk her around there after I finish up but the sun goes down around twenty after five and I don’t really want to be out walking around in the near dark. Dogger is afraid of the dark under the best circumstances and I don’t want her to get all riled up. I also don’t want to try to pick up dog poop in the dark.

Today’s list includes

1. Mailing dog cookies to kith and kin.
2. Finding a Hallmark with the ornaments I found online.
3. Wrapping and then mailing those to BFFs at home.
4. Finally putting the lights up around my front door because it’s on with the neighbors across the way, they keep adding lights and I have to protect my rep as the light show on our street.
5. Finally putting the ornaments on the tree, the all ready up and lit tree! Go me!.
6. Going to the store and picking up cat dust.
7. Deciding what I’m taking with me to see the parents this weekend
8. Packing above.

I mean the only good thing is my TV show does come on until 10pm, so I have all evening to get these done.

I have given my self one break though. I am not going to cook, bake, or otherwise build from scratch any food for the Holiday Party on Monday. I am going to bring bread. I’m going to go to Sams and buy a bag o’rolls and that is going to be my donation to the lunch. I’m not going to worry myself about bringing homemade food for these people.

I also at some point have to wrap those peoples gifts and make out cards for the also ran’s. Then remember to bring the gifts and cards, gift cookies, and rolls with me to work on Monday. I think I’m going to need to make another list.

Wednesday, December 8, 2004

Happy Chanukah!

I have a little dreidel
I made it out of clay
And when it's dry and ready
Then dreidel I shall play!

Oh - dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it out of clay
And when it's dry and ready
Then dreidel I shall play!

It has a lovely body
With legs so short and thin
And when my dreidel’s tired
It drops and then I win!


My dreidel’s always playful
It loves to dance and spin
A happy game of dreidel
Come play now, let’s begin!


Kerik's Surveillance Activity in Saudi Arabia Is Disputed
Cabinet Pick Is Accused of Carrying Out Hospital Chief's Agenda

Since he was nominated last week to be homeland security secretary, however, nine former employees of the hospital have said that Kerik and his colleagues were carrying out the private agenda of the hospital's administrator, Nizar Feteih, and that the surveillance was intended to control people's private affairs. Feteih became embroiled in a scandal that centered in part on his use of the institution's security staff to track the private lives of several women with whom he was romantically involved, and men who came in contact with them, the ex-employees said...
"Kerik was a goon," said John Jones, a former hospital manager, who said he felt harassed by the security team. "They were Gestapo. . . . They made my life so miserable.".... "Kerik used heavy-handed tactics in following single men around and keeping them away from some women," said Ted Bailey, who was a doctor at the hospital and now practices in Indiana. Added paramedic Michael Queen: "Men and women had to be careful with security, but Bernie was the one we watched out for the most."

So, apparently, Bushs new pick for Homeland Security, really doesn't have a problem doing unsavory things for his bosses, has no problem with conducting inappropriate surveillance, and seems to share his bosses disinterest in personal privacy. He'll fit right in.

full story here, Washington Post.

Clap real hard kids...

"Why do we soldiers have to dig through local landfills for pieces of scrap metal and compromised ballistic glass to uparmor our vehicles?" Wilson asked. A big cheer arose from the approximately 2,300 soldiers in the cavernous hangar who assembled to see and hear the secretary of defense.

"You can have all the armor in the world on a tank and it can (still) be blown up," Rumsfeld said.

The troops wish they were in tanks you supercilious son of a bitch!

Asked later about Wilson's complaint, the deputy commanding general of U.S. forces in Kuwait, Maj. Gen. Gary Speer, said in an interview that as far as he knows, every vehicle that is deploying to Iraq from Camp Buehring in Kuwait has at least "Level 3" armor. That means it at least has locally fabricated armor for its side panels, but not necessarily bulletproof windows or protection against explosions that penetrate the floorboard" Speer said he was not aware that soldiers were searching landfills for scrap metal and used bulletproof glass.

"Not Aware?!" I'm aware of that! God! They want us to "support the troops" when they aren't even trying. "Support The Troops hard enough kids and Sgt. Tinker might not get blown up! I can't hear you! The public just isn't supporting the troops enough! We want to see more magnets! You aren't supporting the troops enough! Poor Tinker just lost his leg! Bad public!". I guess we could send them all those yellow ribbon magnets over there and they could just pile those up on their vehicles.

Full story here.

Doing Lunch

My first plan for lunch was to go home pick up a couple of things I want to get in the mail and hit the post office. Then the power went off at the office and I had some time to think about the prospect of trying to mail things over the lunch hour and I decided to make other plans.

I voted for taking my book and going to Wendy’s. I like Wendy’s, or actually I like my Wendy’s. The company is probably owned by the GOP and the corporate office staffed by raging neocons and the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz, but I have learned to like their french fries and the store is on the right side of the street so I can avoid a nasty lunch hour u-turn situation.

Anyway. I leave the office and hit the Wendy’s. There is a tour bus outside. Terrific. I walk in the door and find it was a tour bus filled with uniformed junior high kids. Blech. The tour bus, the chillrin and the french fries become moot when I open my purse and my wallet isn’t there. I thought for one moment as I was leaving for lunch that my purse seemed a little light, but I chalked it up to leaving my cell at home. No. The cell was in the purse. The wallet was not.

Where was the wallet? The wallet was at home in the pocket of the coat I wore for Doggers run. I always bring some ID with me in case the PTB decided that today is the day to enforce the No Dogs Allowed part of the posted official rules of use for the ball field. So I bring my wallet. Makes no sense whatsoever, because if I get kicked out by the rec center folks, they are not going to be checking my ID against known terrorists, but you never know. Tom Ridge has not yet left the building and Rumsefeild refuses to go. It is smart to be prepared.

Last night after Doggers run, I went to the grocery because I ran out of soda and I can not run out of soda. It’s a law. It may not be on the state books but if you look it’s a codicil to some pork barrel project. I don’t get why they singled me out for this law but they did. I have to have soda in my house at all times, but I do. I’m law abiding.

So. In the door way of the grocery - Again I go somewhere and realize too late I don’t have something I need. In this case, I need my check book which lives in my purse which is back at home because I don’t want to take it with me when I take Dogger for her run and leave it in the car in the lot because There Is A Chance it’ll get stolen. Not that I have any evidence that are purse thieves are running roughshod through the neighborhood, there might be little nascent purse thieves just looking for the opportunity to hit the big time and they might get that chance if my purse was left unprotected in my car all because I need to buy cat dust. So. No cat dust for me. I could have picked up the dust but I don’t want to burn all my cash on household crap. I want to burn it all on Happy Meal Toys and trips to the Flea Market.

Instead of reading my book and enjoying my lunch hour, I rushed home, rescued my wallet, laid out clothes so I can run right back out the door when I get home after work so Dogger can have that 5 extra minutes to run around before it gets dark, hit the KFC and still made it back to the office in under an hour. I rock.

Tuesday, December 7, 2004

December 7, 2004

Another day that should live in infamy. Bushit begins to wear military style "uniforms", slides into "Generalissomo" territory , full on fascism to commence in 3, 2, 1...

You knew he would do it, they all do. Posted by Hello

note to self start on "It Can't Happen Here" before it does happen here.

from Atrios
Early Christmas

For us Christian liberals, some spirituality to go with our ideology.
Bush supporters on parade

The arch typical Bush voter. Hee! Poor white trash and an alleged child molester.

from Atrios

Dogger went to her first Dog Park.

I had very low expectations of Dogger at the park. She presided to lower them on the car ride over by repeatedly trying to climb over the seat to get a better angle on Bandits ears. When she wasn’t yipping she was whining. I was starting to think she might just stay in the car.

Then we got there. I really began to think her and me and the dog world at large would be much better off if she just stayed in the car. Just getting her out of the car was a test of how much weight it would take traveling at what speed to knock me over. It isn’t much. Dogger was disappointing me and we hadn’t cleared the parking lot yet.

And then she saw the other dogs. It’s not a moment I want to dwell on, suffice to say there were dogs and dog owners scattering out of our wake as quickly as their four feet could take them. It was a like a Dog version of Twister or Bowling For Puppies. She’s big, she’s raucous and she’s heading for you! Run for your lives!

We finally got the Dog Park proper. Winston and Bandit had been taking a cue from Dogger and had been singing, but unlike Dogger they still remembered who they were and were walking like gentle dogs. Brodsky’s arm wasn’t torn from his body or anything. They were vocal but well behaved.

We paused before going further. Is this what we should really be doing? Are the dogs ready for this? Maybe we should just walk them, some where else maybe, like away from all these other dogs. We stood there and waited for an opening.

Finally, there seemed to be a break in the flow of small, eatable little dogs and we made our entry.

Winston and Bandit fit right in. They stood around for a while and then joined in the dog fun. Dogger was still making shrill noises and doing her best to separate my shoulder from my arm. Fun!

We walked around the perimeter to check out the space and scope out any likely targets. I wandered around looking at the owners. How can they be so calm? How are they not following their dogs around? How can everybody be so unstressed out? Don’t they know that Dogger is there? There were a lot of little snack sized ears wandering around and Dogger was licking her lips in anticipation of all the available ears to gnaw. I was checking my pockets for a stray antacid .

I was finally prevailed upon to let lose the Dogger. I waited for the yowls of the snacked upon and the shrieks of their people. And I waited. And waited.

Nothing. Dogger wandered around meeting and greeting and not eating! She spent most of her time sitting by me, but she would leave me to go sniff an interesting looking clump of weeds or say hi to a random dog. She wasn’t trying to eat any of them. She went up to the dog owners and sat very politely next to them and asked to be pet. She didn’t pee on anyone or jump up or freak out or any of the things she does routinely in real life. She just wandering up and took her seat, suggested that her head needed to be scratched or she wouldn’t be unwilling to be attended to, or not, sometimes she just came up and stood next to them. I was and am shocked.

I kept waiting for the other paw to fall – for some dog to sniff just a little too long, for a small dog to get too close and need its tender ears sampled, for Dogger to see a person who looked like they wanted a 100 pound dog to try to vault over their head…

Nothing. She wasn’t my dog. She was another dog, a good dog. She didn’t snap at anyone or join in any unpleasant altercations. She was an excellent dog citizen. She had a great time, I had a great time.

Monday, December 6, 2004

FUAX News gets Clear

Clear Channel Signs on FAUX News for primary news source . So, now the conglomerate with the most stations and the most ears listening to its stations can now do an even better job of brain washing Muricans. I'm sure the admin is thrilled with this new development, now folks won't have to just listen to Rush Limpdick for their news, they can turn on any radio station at any time and find just what they are looking for: Unfair and Unbalanced infotainment with a the administrations stamp of approval to the days events. We are all doomed.

I'm kind of surprised that this hadn't all ready happened. What took them so long to embrace the misinformation syndergy?

from The Raw Story