Monday, February 28, 2005


I was going to Live!Blog!the!Oscars(tm)! , but then I started to think about all the other bloggers out there all ready Live!Blogging!the!Oscars(tm)!, something they started at approximately 5am last Friday morning and I decided to let them do the hard work. But for all of you Live Blogging afficionados, here is me Pre!Live!Blogging!Sunday!Afternoon!Before!The!Oscars(tm)!

Sunday 11:15am - Bill Conti is on Wait, Wait Don’t Tell me! or some other Sunday panel show on NPR or PRI or whatever. He is funny and he assures us, the Oscar Audience that it is not up to him to play a long winded Oscar(tm) winners off the stage, he just works there, he does as he is told. So leave him the fuck alone when Jamie Foxx loses his shit and goes on about his dead grandmama for four minutes, its not Conti’s gig to make the final decision about playing Foxx off and bringing on the next award presenters. I do want to point out that Don Cheadle is an actor who would not lose his shit, ever, under any circumstances.

1:00 - I put together my special, Oscar(tm) meat loaf. Yumm.

I spend the rest of the afternoon and into the evening playing hide and seek with orphan socks I should have washed yesterday when I was immersed in laundry. I also find dirty glasses that should have gone into the dishwasher this morning.

As this is pre!Oscar!Live!Blogging! Here is the obligatory list of who I think should win and who will win. As always, I am right and they are wrong.

Best Picture

I didn’t actually see any of the nominated films this year so I didn’t do the heard compare and contrast work that needs to be done for this, but, I heard on the somewhere that on some airplane that was showing Sideways, they cleaned up Asshole and substituted “Ashcroft” and that made me laugh, so

I think Sideways should win.

Will Win - The Aviator, it’s made the big dollars at the theaters and it stars whatshisface and was directed by Scorsese. ( I was wrong, Million Dollar Baby)

Best Director

Again, didn’t see any of the movies.

I think Scorsese should win.

Will Win - Taylor Hackford, because its going to split the difference between the Eastwood and Scorsese voters.
( I was wrong)

Best Actor

I think Don Cheadle should win because he is an ACTOR. It is what he does. He didn’t wake up on day and say , “hey, I could do that, why the hell not?” he is always good, he makes good choices with scripts and he played a real man, he didn’t impersonate a real man.

Will Win - Jaime Foxx, unless voters didn’t think his Golden Globe speech was as cute as he did. ( I was right!)

Best Actress

No opinion at all. Swank all ready has one, “Maria Full Of Grace” is too unknown and nobody saw the movie, Benning? Long shot, English lady? Again, no one saw the movie, If I had to, I would say Kate Winslet should win.

Will Win - Annette Benning. ( I was wrong, Hillary Swank

Best Supporting Actor

I think Hawkeye should win.

Will Win -Morgan Freeman for having the patience to play this same part 4,567,972 times until he finally got nominated for it. ( I was right!)

Best Supporting Actress

I don’t even care. But I am noticing that this is the year of the impersonation! Blanchette, Linney and Okonedo are all portraying real people as are Foxx, Cheadle, Dicaprio, Hawkeye, and Depp. So, in the interest if Art, I think Virginia Madson should win.

Will Win - Blanchette wins the coin toss.( I was right!)

I’m also noticing that its about how well you played a real person but also how well you played a real person in a movie that eleven people saw. “Finding Neverland” and “The Aviator”, and “Ray” made it to my town but I didn’t see ads for the others. I don’t think the ratings are going to be huge for this unless a lot of people are planning to tune in to see how long it takes for Chris Rock to implode or to count how many times they cut to see what Jamie Foxx thinks about each, individual joke/award/comment all night long and how long will the night be? 4 hours 35 minutes.

Rock did not implode, but he is a sexist asshole. The show was dull as dishwater and it ran just about 3 hours

Sunday, February 27, 2005


Saturday, February 26, 2005


Friday, February 25, 2005

Its rainnnniiinngggg aggg-ain

Damn it. It didn’t snow. All I wanted was one little act of gawd to keep people out of my office for a day and all I get is a little rain. Rain is not adequate to keep people out of my office and off my phone. I needed enough of an act of gawd to keep anyone, including me from going to work today. Actually, didn’t want to come to work at all, I was hoping if gawd couldn’t make it snow maybe he could hit me with a little stomach flu. I wanted to stay at home.

Yesterday it came from on high that I needed to clean my office. Like Now. Like Right Now. Like stay here and work like a whirling dervish until you can’t stand it and then come in really early tomorrow morning to finish it up Right Now. So I did. There is nothing like the fear of a sit down with my ultimate boss to make me a very motivated little employee. I cleaned, I put up, I hid, I threw away and I alphabetized, I even boxed up and labeled. I was a machine; and then I got up early and came in and finished it up.

So, this morning when they came in they just looked around, and left, well, one did make a snippy remark about paper clips on the floor but I tried to think positive thoughts about her. It’s not like I was here until 6pm or back at 6:30 am or anything and then one of them said “I heard that you guys worked hard on this”, I said “I”, “I, worked hard on this” because damn it, I did. I mean the heads up at 3:45 from new boss, helped a lot. I mean, like hugely. I would be so far up shit creek now I would even need a paddle – it would be all about clinging to the bowl for me – but I did the work. Me. There was no “us”, it was me. I hate feeling like I owe her, but she was really pleased to see how nice the office looked this morning. She doesn’t want the bosses on her ass anymore then I want them on mine, and they were there, on her ass and I got them off. Yay. For now. And the office wasn’t all that bad; it looked like a working office, now it looks like a room with a lot (23) file cabinet in it. Whatever. It’s done.

Last night while I was at the office panic cleaning I was supposed to be up at the rec center with Dogger letting a new group of kids play with her, I had promised on Tuesday that I would be back to see them yesterday and I wasn’t. I feel really bad because they had asked me to be there again and I didn’t show up. I think its exactly what those kids need is another adult letting them down, and even better, a white adult letting them down. They were adorable little kids too. It’s raining now and I don’t know if it’s supposed to stop and if those kids are going to be at the rec center this evening or if they will be there Friday. I don’t know if they would buy “I had to work”. I was going to go, I was kind of looking forward to it, I like walking Dogger. I meet nice people and have made some friends. It lets me be a part of the neighborhood and makes me feel like I belong there. If I do it enough I may be able to graduate from that white girl who walks the big dog to Diana, who walks the big dog. They all ready know Dogger’s name, I think it would be nice if they knew mine.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Keep your legs crossed ladies, its going to be the only way to keep the rethuglicans out of your vagina

WICHITA, Kan. The attorney general of Kansas wants to know the detailed history of the sex lives of nearly 90 women who received late-term abortions.

Court documents show that Phill Kline wants to search the documents for evidence of crimes under laws that limit late-term abortions and require mandatory reporting of suspected child sexual abuse. Under the order signed by a judge, the attorney general would get records that would include each patient's name, medical history, details of her sex life, birth control practices and psychological profile. The Wichita Eagle says two medical clinics have asked the Kansas Supreme Court to intercede.

from WBAY

There are these little things called Patient confidentiality laws, the Feds made them up, its the whole HIPPA thing. Do the republicans rally think that the laws for some reason do not apply to all of us equally? OF COURSE THEY DON'T! Laws are for other people! Confidentiality laws only exsist only to protect Rush, everyone else is on their own. Again, IOKIYAR.

found at Atrios
For Shizzile

If Snoop Dog ran Thedianaverse

picked up from M. Giant

okay, granted it does take a little bit to load, so here's a sample.

In actuality, I stiznill hizzle bread left over fizzy tha last Impend'n Doom n I always hizzle powered M-to-tha-izzilk on hand fo` dogg cookies hittin that booty. Wizzy I may do J-to-tha-izzust ta be funky ass, n thrizzay a sop at tha Impend'n Dizzy is ta go ta tha store n maybe piznick up killa 12 piznack of soda n wanna be gangsta gallon of ice cream coz ya knizzay its pusha ta be safe tizzy sorry. I have `bout 15 flashlights n a case of bottled cracka in mah bedroom closet tizzle is protect'n us F-R-to-tha-izzom tha eventuality of a hurricizzles I T-H-to-tha-izzink mah freeza can stand ta play H-to-tha-izzost ta a gallon of ice cream fo` a few days. I do care `bout mah fellow dawg drug deala all n if nuttin' happens, I have a new thing of ice cream n more soda

It is the coolest toy ever! it does the whole page! everything on the page, links, template, whatever! Its so cool. I'm going to have to control the urge to go to Drudge and put it through the Snoop Dog-izer. It may make Drudge make sense.

And I am totally changing the much ignored and criminally over looked Answer Dog link to

Do yo doggz have questions? do you have questions you want ta ask dogs? Click Here n Ask tha Answa Dogs!
Impending Doom, pt. wha?

It’s going to Impending Doom again, so the news is saying. They keep saying this and nothing happens, we’re becoming bored with the claims of Impending Doomination. We’re over Impending Doom. For example, I did not go to the store at lunch today and stock up on soda and snack cakes, I mean, right now? It’s like 64 degrees out side. Snow? Whateveh. The other day, before the Impending Doom forecast, I decided to temp Impending Doom by momentarily thinking about buying a snow shovel and then didn’t buy it!. I could have staved off the threat of it ever snowing in my zip code for years, but I said No. I just kept right on going. I’m heartless like that. So that tells you this time the Impending Doom may not be Impending, it may Doom all over us – just to prove it can and to punish me for getting cocky.

In actuality, I still have bread left over from the last Impending Doom and I always have powered milk on hand for dog cookies. What I may do just to be nice, and throw a sop at the Impending Doom is to go to the store and maybe pick up another 12 pack of soda and another gallon of ice cream because ya know, its better to be safe then sorry. I have about 15 flashlights and a case of bottled water in my bedroom closet that are protecting us from the eventuality of a hurricane, I think my freezer can stand to play host to a gallon of ice cream for a few days. I do care about my fellow man after all and if nothing happens, I have a new thing of ice cream and more soda.

Since we have been threatened with Impending Doom so often this winter with no results everyone has developed this laissez faire attitude about the whole thing. We’re spoiled now. The first time they threatened us, the stores were full of people with carts jammed with milk and water and toilet paper and bread and panic. And Nothing Happened. The next time there were still quite a few people, but they were buying stuff like chips and napkins, result? Nothing Happened. The time after that they were looking for tomato juice and frozen pizza and again, Nothing Happened. This time? Everyone’s outside enjoying the sunshine. So, we’re all going to die.

It can’t snow. My tree in front is budding and I think my hydrangea may be coming back from the dead – that should spell and end to snow and a welcome to happy spring time. The weather gawds have a sense of humor and they hate hope.

Irritable Kitty Syndrome

Yesterday was a big day for Kitty and I. He actually swallowed all three of his daily pills and most of his orange gunk I shot down his throat went down his throat instead off dripping onto his fur. We were very proud. Of course this morning he totally fooled me by sucking on the pill and letting it drip out onto his fur. Bastard. I thought we had worked out all our med issues and he was starting to “get” the whole pill thing! From what I can tell from cleaning his box, he is “getting: anything. I’m going to have to call his vet again but tell her we can’t come in until next month. Kitty has past his vet budget for the month and possibly the year and I can’t afford to keep taking him back to the vet for more meds that aren’t going to work. I think they should just give me whatever meds they use to control IBS in cats and be done with it. I know that’s what it is, Kitty knows that’s what it is but the vet won’t know until she charges me hundreds of dollars for the test for IBS. My animals get better health care then I do, thank gawd I’m healthier then they are.

PS, No Doomination.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005


please snow! please snow please snow please snow please snow please snow pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaasseee snnnnnoooowwwwwww puhleeeeeeeeeeeessssssseeee!!!!!!!
Look a petition!

Move on is swinging at windmills again, but , its good exerise so here is the link. Its a petition asking for election reform, the phrase is "repair the vote". I signed it.

I was at lunch before. I went to my favorite McDonalds, ordered my little happy meal, pocketed my newest MLP toy and sat back to enjoy my new book. It took about 15 pages to turn “enjoy” to “endure”. I can all ready tell I’m not going to like this book.

My plan this weekend had been to find The Gun Seller at the book dealer out at the flea market. That was a bad plan. I had to find another book that actually was at the guys’ booth. I was there for an hour and came out with two titles, The Devil Wears Prada because I recognized the title and heard good things about it 18 months ago when it came out in paperback, and then I got Generic Suspense Novel to read when I tore the TDWP because its supposed to be so funny, and kewl and all that. I hate The Devil Wears Prada. Perhaps “hate” is too strong, lets try “issues with heroine that make the book hard to enjoy because I all ready want to slap her a grand total of 15 pages in”. This is the same reason I had issues with The Nanny Diaries.

The plots of these two books are generally the same – sweet, innocent girl fresh to the city looking for her first big break, finds job with Power Woman and discovers that Power Women make terrible bosses. The Heroine spends the next 250 pages trying to make the crazed bitch she works for happy while The Heroine struggles to not lose her soul and eventfully breaks free of Power Woman to either A) Work for another Power Woman, but this time she won’t let it get to her and she won’t take that kind of shit again, B) becomes Power Woman and vows to not be a bitch, while she takes baby steps on her own assistants throat or C) Leaves Power Woman and goes to work for Max who is nicer to her and better to work for because he’s a man and doesn’t have to prove anything by making her life a living hell. Whatever. We. Get. It – if you’re a woman working for another woman it’s going to be tough and only tough women survive in Business and also Women In Business are bitches, grow a pair or get out of the elevator.

So. Why am I reading this? I don’t know. I’m taking it out of the car and tomorrow I’m going to start on Generic Suspense novel while not as popculty , won’t make my head pound. I also hate the heroine in the book because her first job out of college, landed on her first interview, is not only in her field but pays $12 thousand dollars more then I get now, two real jobs neither of them in my field, out of college.

What else happened at lunch? I was reading my book and still semi enjoying it, while really enjoying my fries more, when someone sits down at my table. “Hi!” I said. I figured from behind my book that I knew who ever sat down, since who sits down with a stranger at a McDonalds when there are empty seats all over? I look up expecting to see someone from work. No. It was a street person. I looked at him, he grunted at me. “Um”, I said. “LoseintonohablaEnglish?”. Nothing. I repeat myself, hoping that he won’t want to deal with someone speaking a foreign language, with a bad accent and who is probably just gibbering at him anyway. I start again “LoseintonohablaEnglish”. Nothing. It is not his language and he is not offended by my bad accent and he has no problem with gibberish.

Lo Siento
Lo Siento
LO SIENTO!! (With added book rattling action)

He’s not moving and I’m running out of foreign language to gibber in. I get up, throw my food away and go to the counter to tell them they have a problem and I’m leaving because of it. No one will talk to me and by this time the guy noticed I wasn’t gibbering at him and had lurched over the family sitting next to me. I have half a mind to contact McDonalds and tell them about how much I was not Lovin’ It.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Look Who's Back!

Its the Swift Boat Liars!!!

Posted by Hello

Ya'll can help me out, what exactly does the AARP have to do with the troops and gay marriage? and what does Social Security reform have to do with any of it? Those wacky, wacky Liars!
Little Big man uses a big word


"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. Having said that, all options are on the table," Bush said.

So. We won't sit down sovereign nation to sovereign nation and talk about why we think they should not have nukes? Because in the Bush Whitehouse talking is boring Diplomacy is for pussies.

The assurance to Iran's leaders was Bush's bluntest assessment yet. Last week, he used a series of pre-trip interviews with European journalists to minimize talk of any military attack by the United States.


It's in our interests for them not to have a nuclear weapon," Bush said in a news conference with European Union leaders.

Why? Other nations have them, we have them, North Korea has them, all the really cool kids have them. Iran is stable, they go to the wrong church, but they're stable and they control Iraq now. I think it would be in our best interest and the best interest of our troops to be a little less cavalier towards the Iranians.

The United States has refused to get involved in the bargaining with Tehran or to make commitments toward incentives, insisting that Tehran abandon its program.

They should abandon their program because why? Oh, because we're such good friends? because the owe us one? because they are afraid of us? We can't treat them like grown ups because?

We aren't going to talk to them about it, and attacking them is "ridiculous" but all options remain on the table? You can tell when Bush is lying because his lips are moving. You won't talk to them about it, so "diplomacy" is off the table, what's left on the table? Bombing. Bombing is on the table, bombing by this summer.

The draft is going to be ridiculous.
Hunter S. Thompson is dead and I don’t feel so well either

I don’t remember exactly when I first encountered Hunter S. Thompson. I had all ready read and re-read my parents extensive Watergate library and through those I probably found reference to The Boys On The Bus where I think HST is mentioned. I think he threatened to kill the guy writing the book. He may have been looking to damage the other author because he was also working on the pieces that would eventually become Fear and Loathing on The Campaign Trail 1972. FL was a much more, um, colorful account of the press’s travels with the candidates in 72 than The Boys On The Bus, he needn’t have worried about comparisons of the books. TBOTB was a photograph while FAL was a Peter Max poster.

Thompson, the King Freak, actually got to talk to Nixon, about foot ball. Nixon was a foot ball nut. He was also a nut nut, but Thompson was the one he talked about foot ball with in the back seat of a limo roaring through the late night on the way to some rural nowhere.

I read All The Presidents Men over and over and over. I was on my high school paper and was bitterly disappointed that my dreams of being my high schools Woodstein were probably not going to come to fruition. I also discovered that I was very lazy and all that investigative stuff would have cut into my after school rerun watching schedule. The only investigative story I wrote was an “exposé” about the money from the eleventyteen coke and candy machines at the school and where the funds ended up. Short boring story, shorter? The General Fund. I really wanted it to be lining the pockets of some administrative heavy or financing the principles pool, but no. That was the end of my big career as an investigative reporter. The rest of my bylines were over stories detailing the schools UIL (University Interscholastic League) competitions and the schools Academic Decathlon and occasionally, the minutes from German Club meetings. Yawn. Carl Bernstein would not have been impressed.

But. I loved Hunter S. Thompson. He was the coolest, he was who I wanted to be. I took to haunting the local half price book stores magazine racks, this was back when you could still find 15 year old copies of Rolling Stone for .75 a piece, before RS got glossy and the older copies all ended up on Ebay. There was always something interesting from him in those, odd peices that might not have ended up in the books, random drug indused tangents on imagined congressional sins and presidental outrages and 15,000 word screeds on what those sins and outrages all meant. I wish I still had those magazines.

I read most of Thompsons work. I can’t say I liked all of it or that I made it through all of them, or that it all made sense to me, for example, The Great Shark Hunt confused me but I really liked Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, even though it confused me too. I did wind up with a precocious knowledge of drugs and drug paraphernalia that most of my friends didn’t come close to until college and most of them had to actually use them to find out what there were. I could talk an incredibly good game, drugwise. And I could thank HST for that. He got high so I didn’t have to.

He also taught me that politicians were lying pigs and none of them could be trusted. He taught me that Richard Nixon was the devil, something that the authors of my Watergate books weren’t quite willing to . They all thought he was guilty of just about every crime short of breaking and entering , they stopped short of Thompsons venomous truth. I didn’t read his later works. I guess I mellowed out. He never did, he got sober, he never got mellow.

The man survived Richard Nixon, he saw what that administration did to this country and he retained his hope. He was stoned out of his mind and thought he was a lizard or a dolphin or that you were a lizard or turtle or something, but he stayed the course, he didn’t put a gun to his head. I have a new reason to hate George W. Bush, he killed Hunter S. Thompson.

Monday, February 21, 2005

”Minutemen” to Patrol Arizona Border

Volunteer Minutemen, Many Untrained, to Patrol Ariz./Mexico border to curb illegal immigration crossings. Homeland Security "concerned".

This is going to end badly

from ABC news
Why does Wal-Mart Hate the Chillrins?

Government to review deal with Wal-Mart

The inspector general of the Labor Department has decided to investigate its agreement to give Wal-Mart Stores 15 days' notice before investigating any stores facing complaints of child labor violations, according to department officials. Full story here

See, its really not in the spirit of the "Surprise Inspection" ideal that Wal-Mart gets advanced notice on these things. When my division goes to a facility, we don't call them and let them know we're coming, in fact, its againts the law for any one to notify the facility we are on our way. We like to see what they do on a normal day, we want to catch them in the act, if they new we were on our way they could correct anything that needed fixing, they could call in extra help, it would totally undermine the states capacity to protect the residents and staff at the facility. How on earth do you set up an agreement with the Feds to have them call you and tell you they are coming for a surprise inspection? How does this happen? Oh, wait "Wal-Mart executives had contributed heavily to President Bush's re-election" that would do it.

And then these yahoos still got caught?

..."Without admitting any wrongdoing, Wal-Mart agreed to pay $135,540 to settle complaints involving 85 youths"...

These were child labor violations. They involved under age workers put in dangerous situations. Its things like this that caused Child Labor laws in the first place.

How really, really, really dumb do you have to be to still get caught?!

Feds - Hey, we're gonna be there in two weeks to check IDs.
Wal-Mart - Whatever.
Feds - So, get the kids out of the pool.
Wal-Mart - Whatever.
Feds - We're coming on the 14th.At 2:30pm. If we find under age workers, we are going to fine you.
Wal-Mart - Whatever.

Wal-Mart is so arrogant that they don't care if they get caught. It's easy not to care when "... "The amount of the fine is an embarrassing pittance for a company that just announced $3.2 billion in profits in the last quarter alone...""

I'm sure all the other places that got busted for violations and didn't get notice ahead if time are pissed.Can't you hear them whining now? "If Wal-Mart gets to put children into dangerous situations why can't everyone put children into dangerous situations?". It boils down to IOIYAR. Its Okay If You Are A Republican, or make huge donations to the republicans. You would think we were back at Tammany Hall.
The Joys of Pet Ownership

I took Kitty back to the vet on Saturday because he had started to throw up again and I haven’t seen any signs that the three pills a day I had been forcing down his throat for the last eight days had shown any benefits. It was like I hadn’t been forcing pills down his throat three times a day eight days at all. After eight days of pill forcing I wanted to see him healed.

Kitty cringes when he sees me.

Me - Hi! Sweetie! How is my baby!
Kitty - Keep your hands where I can see them.
Me - Oh, honey! Don’t think that way! Let me pick you up.
Kitty - Why? What are going to do to me?
Me - I’m hurt! I just wanted some kitty snuggles.
Kitty - Right. In the kitchen? I don’t think so.
Me - Want some kitty snacks? Mmmmmm!
Kitty - Screw you. The trust is gone.

True, I have about seven more days of three times a day pill forcing a head of me, but anybody getting antibiotics forced down their throat three times a day for eight days, should have some change in their symptoms. There has been no change and he was throwing up again. Cat barf is not a fun substance, cleaning it up does not make me happy and Kitty does not like to diet and this purging thing is not his style. Kitty prefers his food to stay where it is supposed to until he is finished with it. I think he is very disappointed his body . I think he’s ready to send his entire GI track to its room with out its dessert. I know I’m ready to beat its little GI track ass.

Before I took Kitty back to the doctor and spent even mroe money, I decided to cheap out and see if I could find a more mellow food for him. I found a nice lamb and rice that the makers claim is gentle, mellow, happy cat food. What it is a much lighter colored cat food so when he throws it up on the carpet it doesn’t leave an orange stain, it leaves a cream colored stain that matches the carpet. Its more expensive then his regualr food, he still throws up but it doesn’t stain as badly . I think the cat food company should use that as a marketing devise. I know if a cat food could promise me that when my cat threw it up that the food wouldn’t stain my carpets, I would be all over it. I mean its super that the food is all nutritionally balanced and vet approved and all those healthy, pet positive things, but the most important aspect of any cat food is its non staining dimension and whether or not it matches my decorating. I don’t think I’m alone in that opinion. I love my cat but I also am fond of my carpets and I am a lazy house keeper and I keep the lights down in the house and I can’t see - so there have been times when stains have had the chance to set and, and... decorator colored cat food would not be a bad direction for the cat food manufacturers to study.

Stains or no stains. Kitty wasn’t getting better and it was back to the vet.

The first appointment I could find was Saturday morning at 9 a.m. In Saturday time that’s like 3 am. Its very early. It’s painfully early. I don’t like setting the alarm for me to go places Saturday morning and you can bet I don’t take myself places at 9 am on a Saturday morning unless I’m going there to pick up a check, a large check. Needless to say, I don’t go out much Saturday mornings.

So, now post vet instead of pissing off The Kitty three times a day by shoving pills down his throat, I can now piss him off four times a day. Whoopie. And even better? Now I can piss him off my shoving a syringe into his mouth and shooting nasty orange sherbert colored yuck down his throat. He loves it and even better? He’s still throwing up.

Edited to add, Hunter S. Thompson has died. He shared an obit page with Sandra Dee, who also died this weekend. I think he would have enjoyed the absurdity of the two of them sharing anything. RIP.

Sunday, February 20, 2005


Saturday, February 19, 2005


Friday, February 18, 2005

Unshocked and unawed?

How did "Jeff Gannon, Male Prositute" know about Shock and Awe's big kick off before anyone else did?

See America Blog for the newest reporting.

from America Blog
Son of Bits and Pieces

Another beautiful day! I should be outside, washing Minnie or scrubbing the drive way or mulching something, whatever it is people do in their yards when its pretty instead of what I do. Yesterday when it was also beautiful, I celebrated by shoveling the dog shite out of the yard! Woo-Hoo! Dayum. It was all that. I would think about washing Minnie but then I would have to take the freeze guard bra thing off the faucet and somehow, I don’t see me doing that until the weather guy can swear on a stack of bibles that there is no chance it’s going to freeze again – so maybe like in June. It probably isn’t good to wash your car too often anyway, they need that coat of dust and grease to protect it from the elements and it protects from newer, dirtier dust and grease it might come in contact with or something and in may case, its going to rain again on Monday and why wash it only to get it all dirty again? Besides I have issues about the detergent run off and the water table now that the detergent from my laundry doesn’t discharge out into my drive way and into the street like it used to, I have a lot of water table detergenting to do penance for.

Lunch Memos

Oh, I am very excited! I discovered that my Chinese place I go to serves a shrimp version of my favorite meat dish! Now, I can avoid the horror that was Burger Yuckys fish burger thing! I was very scarred by that, very. So, this week I can score a decent lunch and be all Lenten and correct.

I am also doing a good job collecting My Litte Pony ponies. I started off badly, gathering three of the same figure before it finally sunk in that all the McDonalds have the same figure at the same time. This is unusual. Normally, I can get a different toy at every store. I’ve wised up and subsequently, have three different MLP figures. I have yet to understand why people like these; they are just plastic horses with neon mains. They aren’t anywhere as cool as even the least interesting Sponge Bob toy. The MLPs don’t do anything. Whatever.

Due to Lunch Buddy having an attack of real life again, I’m back to eating by myself. I offered to wash her dogs for her, as she is very busy and most likely doesn’t have time for such things, but she didn’t want me to. What I should have offered to do would be to shovel out her house and teach her kids to do their own laundry, tidy the house and do the dishes and possibly cook simple meals for themselves - all at gun point if necessary, but that would be wrong. She didn’t want me to clean her animals she most certainly doesn’t want me to hold her kids at gun point while they do chores around the house. I would of course, sacrifice and let them practice their new skills at my house. With LB busy, my substitute lunch companion is Naked by David Sedaris, it could also be any of his other books, they all all more or less the same book; Its a good thing I like that book. This weekend I’m going to have to go to the flea market and check out the book booth to find who’s going to win the big Eat Lunch With Diana Lottery for this coming week. I’m sure whomever wins will be thrilled with the opportunity to live in my car and spend quality time with me in various fast food places. I think the winner will have to be a paper back and hopefully, something I have not all ready read, for instance, The Gun Seller, its by Hugh Laurie. The word from the gushing fangirl reviews I found on gushing fangirl sites is that it is the best book ever written, ever. We’ll see.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Winter time and the living is easy…

Last night while I was walking Dogger it was 70 degrees, I was wearing short sleeves and it wasn’t raining! It was beautiful. But like all things of beauty it was fated to fade. Its very pretty today and warm so I can be confident in predicting that by the weekend we will be looking at more Imminent Doom if not actually, another ice age.

It rained on Monday night when I was walking Dogger and we didn’t enjoy it. I would get her a little doggy rain coat but I’m afraid that people would look at me funny if I put a rain coat on a large dog: I don’t want her to start gathering a wardrobe. She’s too big for that. If I develop the over whelming urge to dress on of my pets I think I’ll go with the Kitty – because if I follow through with dressing him, he’s sure to kill me and put me out of my Dressing My Pets misery, he has all ready put his little paw print on a letter that says if I start to turn into dog humiliater like Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson, that he will kill me in my sleep. He’s cruel but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. He attacks because he cares.

We’re still having fun with pills, Kitty and I, and this morning for the first time I was really pretty sure he did not get the pill down. I was holding him wrong and I wasn’t able to use both hands to keep his head back and mouth shut so he was able to open his mouth enough to drool the remains of the pill onto the table and then run away when I tried to rescue it before it disintegrated. Tonight, he will get his pills, I have two more chances to get it down his throat and make sure it stays there. I’m also thinking of taking a different tact. I think this time I’m going to force him to the floor as I am popping the pill into his throat. I want to mix it up a bit so he doesn’t have a chance to figure out a way to either escape or cause a distraction. The kitty treats I found do a good job of keeping him in the room and he really likes the way they smell, he doesn’t always want to eat them. I think he knows that I use them as a pill swallowing ploy and he doesn’t appreciate the subterfuge. I think he should be glad it’s his mouth I am forcing the pill into, I know something he does not: there are different orifices available for this and if he doesn’t learn to grin and bear it, he may force me to ask the doctor about the other options.

Dogger was being very oral on our walk yesterday. Dogger discovered that my hand is a fun chew toy, even more fun then her leash. I did not have fun and I couldn’t properly um, “discipline” her because we were out in public and I didn't think the tiny children who were watching Dogger show her ass in the middle of the street needed to know what I wanted to say to her while she was chewing on my hand. I’m pretty sure those kids all ready know all the words I was going to use, and I bet they know even more creative ways to use them then I do; but I didn’t think it was time for a language lesson in the off chance they didn’t all ready know how to properly conjugate the word “fuck” . I was limited to using the hand Dogger was chewing on to drag her further down the street while I ordered her to “LET GO” in as many “G” rated ways as I could while I tried to get past the kids and could finally speak to her in a language she understands: get her teeth the fuck out of my hand before I fucking had to kick the shit out of her, damn it.

Call me the Dog Threatener.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Blogger sucks

Panic takes a holiday

Iran explosion linked to dam construction work – reports


If Shrub wasn't being such a huge tool, things like this wouldn't even warrant a mention in Iran itself, much less every major media outlet in the world. His behavior has fostered a world wide atmosphere of panic, general suspicion, fear and mistrust - that's the atmospheric conditions he finds the most comfortable and what he and his neocon followers have been working so hard to create.

HATE, HATE, HATE George Bush!
A Ha! See proof!

In the last post, which @#$% Blogger wouldn't let me edit, I said that CNN had a picture of reputed Iranian nuke plant, that they were saying was as a reputed North Korean nuke plant, well, here is what I referencing! and even better, the picture may actually be a reputed Iraqi nuke plant. Its an error, but its an important error that keeps appearing in um, important places.

from Brad Blog
Shrub brings folks together

True, he brings folks together so that they can hate us more effectively, but he can still claim he's a "uniter".

Iran and Syria say they are to form a common front to face challenges and threats from overseas."Our Syrian brothers are facing specific threats and we hope they can benefit from our experience. We are ready to give them any help necessary," Mr Aref said... Washington has hinted it may take military action against Iran over its nuclear programme, which is aimed at producing a bomb.

Full story at

The explosion in Iran does not seem to be something we did, so far the Iranians are saying it was an accident not us, they are pretty sure. I do think I saw a story on that said it more plainly and talked about a falling fuel tank from an Iranian fighter plane, but it seems to have vanished into the internets. I want to note that the reputed Nuke plant in the photo is the same reputed nuke plant that had previously identified as a reputed North Korean nuke plant. Shrub isn't going to be happy until he can unite all the people that hate us or just dislike us, or are annoyed with us, or are irked with something we did. He won't be happy until everyone is dead.
The Big Dog

I'm so happy that a real dog won the Westminster, anything with "tea cup" in it's name is not a real dog.

Kitty takes a Pill

Since Friday I have been giving Kitty an antibiotic three times a day. Did you know that cats produce drool? It’s very gross. They can produce copious amounts of drool, so much drool they can get all frothy. It’s off putting and really takes a chunk out of the whole “Cats are regal and stately” meme they try to pass off as the truth, instead that made that up out of whole cloth. Froth is not stately or regal.

When the vet told me about the pills I was so relived that Kitty wasn’t dieing from some horrible cat cancer that it didn’t occur to me to ask the vet if he remembered Kitty. The nicest thing he did at the vets office was growl – and the vet wanted me to force a pill down that cat’s throat three times a day for ten days? Was he out of his mind? Do they make blow guns sized for cat pilling? Could I find a nice blow gun instructor to help me? Are they in the yellow pages under “continuing education – out door sports? Hunting? Native crafts? The vet was not helpful.

Kitty was more or less okay with the first pill. He did this on purpose. I was going with the idea that he has a very short memory and he had forgotten about last summer’s benadryl debacle. I had. I forgot that kitty came with the Amazing Frothing action! package along with the Yodeling option. Funny how they don’t advertise those things when they are begging you to adopt one of their unwanted animals.

Me – Is he a good kitten?
Them – Oh, hell yeah. Cash or charge?
Me – Is there anything in his past I should be aware of?
Them – He’s all ready been fixed.
Me - Good. I mean, what happened before he got here?
Them - Kitten’s don’t have pasts. Will that be carry out?
Me – Was he abused?
Them – Are you accusing us?
Me – No! Was he feral?
Them – What? Like homeless?
Me – No. Was he wild? Where was he before he was here?
Them – Before what? He’s a sweet kitty. Do you want a tote bag?
Kitty – Mew, Mew, head butt, purrrrrrrrr.
Me - Do you take checks?

So. Nothing about his frothing or his growling or the reason behind his misanthropic nature.

When you read those little essays about how hard it is to pill a cat, they concentrate on the demolition aspects of it – the curtains get torn down, the good china gets shattered, but nothing about froth. The way I look at it, if you can find the pill after you tried to feed it to the cat you can be certain that the cat did not eat the pill, its clear. What is not clear is what happens if it sits in their mouth for a while and they are frothing? Is the pill melting? Are they getting some of the pill? Is the froth the pill? I know he gets at least some of his prescription because sometimes he swallows it and moves on. I discovered bribery does make the medicine go down but sometimes, it makes for more froth and yesterday he spit the treat out in my face. It’s kind of hard to track if he is getting the benefits of the meds (so far? zip results) if I can’t tell he’s actually getting the meds. Dogger makes it so easy, wrap the pill in something edible and you’re golden. No muss no fuss no frothing.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

This Old Entry Way

The Old Space, the New Space. Posted by Hello

Before and After Posted by Hello

Michael Jackson admitted to hospital in Santa Maria, California, after being
taken to emergency room on way to trial.

Watch CNN or log on to for the latest news.

Oh please. Can't we keep in mind he's a serial pedaphile? shit can this low life and get it over with.

I went to a “free” health fair thing this weekend. If they really wanted it to be free they wouldn’t have insisted I pay $5 to park. I went to another Health Fair several months ago that didn’t require me to pay for parking or stand in lines, but I wanted to hit this one so I wouldn’t have to claim that Wal-Mart was my primary care physician. I’m a lot happier with the idea that Kroger and my NBC affiliate have that job.

Wal-Mart happily took my blood and tested my sugar levels and fooled around with my triglycerides,but they didn’t give me free mini boxes of raisons or helpful magnets of emergency numbers and I didn’t score any free energy bars. It’s important to get free things. The Wal-Mart thing didn’t place any restrictions on who they do screenings on, if you were alive, they would screen you. The Glaxo/Kroger/NBC sponsored one I went to this weekend just looked at me and decided that I didn’t need my glucose tested and suggested I should not even ask about getting my triglycerides done. I didn’t have a sign around my neck saying “Hi! I’m diabetic” or “Hi! I have heart disease!” and since they could look at me and see I didn’t have small pox and I wasn’t throwing up on their shoes, I was too healthy to need most of their freebie health screenings. They did take my blood pressure, twice and weighed me and they did let me do a lung capacity test which proved that it is harder then I thought to make yourself turn blue and pass out.

While I was standing in the line to breathe into the tube a woman came along and started to give the guy standing in front of me a questionnaire. I was totally into trying to fill out all four pages of pertinent medical information that Glaxo wanted me to fill out “Do you have asthma? Answer No, Glaxo – Go Away before they would let me blow into the tube. So all I caught of his Q&A was the question “would he ask his primary care physician for a specific drug by name, if his doctor told him he had a condition that the name drug would treat”, the guy said he probably would not or would, it would depend. This made the woman sad. I think she wanted him to say he would ask his doctor for a med by name so that the huge amount of money Glaxo spends on advertising would not be totally wasted. She finished the interview by giving him a crisp new $2 bill. He carried on like she gave him a crisp new Faberge Egg. If she had asked me, which she did not, I would have said I ask for the generic equivalent whenever possible. But she didn’t because women are more likely to go to their doctors and ask questions and are allegedly more in touch with their health then men are, and probably do ask for drugs by name because in Glaxos corporate mind, we're pathetic attention seeking healthcare whores and whatever.

Because one of the major sponsors of the weekend’s health fest was Glaxo, we got free Glaxo drugs. They weren’t fun free drugs though, I mean, who gets excited about free fiber pills? but now if I have any pressing heart burn issues or I need some Beano and if gawd forbid I run out of calcium - I can take care of it, If they really wanted to buy me with free drugs they would have handed out free anti-anxiety meds, that would have made the many lines I stood in and the lines I could not stand in because they had all ready closed, less stressful. What if I needed to know if I had brain tumor and that tumor was like, days from killing me? and their little eye exam thing could have found it but didn’t get the chance because they wanted to close down and go home early, I know Glaxo makes something that could cheer me up.

All the various worker bees in the space seemed to like the men better. The place was full of women but I didn’t see any if the women getting accosted and asked for their opinions on pharmaceuticals, its not like they work for us anyway but you would think Big Pharma would at least ask which of the drugs engineered for male chemistry we like the best to not work as advertised on our chemistry. It would have been nice; instead they gave us lid openers and free energy bars. I felt the love.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Best. Nephdogs. Ever. Posted by Hello

Best. Valentines Day. Ever!. The Girl Scout cookies have landed!
Don't tell George Bush, Cupid Is a Fairy

Yay. Happy Valentines. Posted by Hello

I love you. Will you give me a cookie? I really, really, love you. Posted by Hello

Dogger and Kitty say Happy Valentines!! In honor of the day Kitty will hate the world a little less and Dogger will give extra special dog lurve to everyone she meets. I am going to spend the day thinking about the two gallons of chocolate chip mint ice cream I have at home in the freezer and what I'm going to do with them when I get home.

My idea of Valentine candy

Sunday, February 13, 2005


Saturday, February 12, 2005


Friday, February 11, 2005

Why is George Bush such a huge...

...because he's got an itty, bitty, teeny, tiny, itsy bitsy , little...

Ha! Ha! Ow.

Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4.Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. Two friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... [Oh, man, how bad is this one?!!] ...a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!
I want my red stapler back!

Pre-Hyptnotized Peter

What Office Space character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Damn. I can't get the picture to show up. Did you see Office Space? if you work in an office, if you worked in an office, if you pass office buildings on your way to school - you need to see this movie.
Burger Yucky

If I die, its Burger Kings fault. I had part of one of their fish burger things for lunch today and it was awful. So, if I just fall over and die and stop posting, its Burger Kings fault. Urp...
Deep Breath

The last thing the vet told me before I left his office was to call the office about lunch time the next day and I could get the kittys tests back, I said will do, hustled kitty into his box , paid the sizable bill and went home. Kitty wasn’t speaking to me, he was hoarse after verbally reaming out everyone at the vets office, the Petsmart and the parking lot and at least two eighteen wheelers we passed on the way home. Dogger had plenty to tell me when we got home, about negligent dog mommies and the horrors of being trapped in her warm, dry fully stocked crate “A chamber of horrors” and her terrible hunger - how can she be expected to wait an extra hour to eat? What am I some sort of monster? Starving a poor, innocent dogger and then sentencing her to extra time in her soft, warm fully stocked crate? Yaddda, yadda whateveah.

The Kitty spent this time wandering around the house searching for his food bowl. It was exactly where he left it, on the floor of the bathroom where he has been living for the past few day since he started to fancy himself a decorator. Thanks to him, the house was covered in retro seventies era earth tones. I think he is only a few days away from sporting gold medallions and earth shoes.

I was able to appease him with some food and a Barry Manalow tape into the bathroom jam box. I finally got a chance to change my clothes and think about my dinner when I remembered it was Ash Wednesday and my dinning options were limited. I went with tuna sandwiches and sat down for the first time since I left work.

And then I waited. I had to wait to find out what, if anything was wrong with Kitty. There is a whole world of bad things that can happen to cats, they can develop diabetes, they can get kidney failure, heart problems, upper respiratory things. They can just fall apart and there isn’t anything you can do about it, but write numerous huge checks and I really had to think about that. I can’t write even one huge check, I can write a couple of smallish ones and would, if I had to. Kitty does have good timing, the last time he had a large expensive issue it was this time of year too, that last problem surfaced conveniently to eat my entire 2002 tax return.- but that was another vet, a less sympathetic vet, a less chain store kind of vet. A vet with a waiting room and magazine racks full of Architectural Digest, Southern Living and Dog Fancy not to mention designer cat tents and a huge fish tank. My current vet doesn’t have a waiting room, the reading material is limited to a hand full of Know Your Parasites pamphlets in the exam rooms and the only fish are the freebie cat treat variety at the check out counter and if you want a cat bed you need to see the Petsmart people .

Anyway. The vet said I would know by about noon the following day. I called at 12:30. Nothing. I called at 2:30. Nothing. I was beginning to think it was a something and they didn’t want to tell me over the phone. I was getting a little frantic by they time they finally called me - at 7:15pm! It turns out he has an elevated white count and is going to endure 10 days of pills being shoved down his throat. So, he’s more or less fine. He does not have diabetes or kidney failure or a heart condition, He is fat and that doesn’t help, but he’s fine. Thank God.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

The Big Time

RNC plant gets plucked Yay Daily Kos! Yay Americablog! Yay Atrios!


Two of the blogs I read have been talking about their sick kitties o of the kitties has diabetes and the other has COPD. These are serious problems and they make me sad for both the bloggers and their kitties. I read them and say “Oh, that is so sad! Those poor kitties! Poor Bloggers!” and then I say “Dayum! They wrote checks for how much?” And then I say a prayer for Kitty and sincerely hope he stays healthy.

Kitty did not stay healthy.

About a month ago, or maybe a little longer I noticed that kitty’s box was how can I say this politely? fuller then normal? And I said, “Hmm, the box is fuller than normal”. I cleaned it out and made a note to buy more cat dust. So. Time passes, it gets time to go get the little animals rabies shots and I casually mention to the vet that kitty may have the trots and he may have been trotting for awhile, but I had changed his food... the vet said that was why Kitty was trotting and that it may take as long as a month to get him back to his regular, um, pace. I put him back on his regular food and waited to see a change.

I was still waiting when I started finding cat bombs or cat barf outside the litter box and all over my carpet, things happen , animals barf they make messes and you clean them up, So I cleaned them up and discovered which of my throw rugs were launderable. They needed to be washed anyway. I wasn’t really worried, because the vet said that it was normal and it would pass.

Then my little nephdog got sick and I started to look at my animals closer. Really close, like I have a big microscope and they spend a lot of time under it.. With Dogger its like “Oh My God! Are you still eating your dinner? What’s wrong with you? Have you lost your appetite? Can you not eat your food? Why aren’t you eating your food as quickly this morning! Have you lost weight? You’re just putting on a good face! You’re tired aren’t you?!” OH MY GOD YOU HAVE CANCER! When you have dog cancer on the mind, its everywhere and everything looks like a symptom. Is she too tired? What is this lump? Is it a roll of skin or is it a tumor?

Kitty. The longer Kitty was trotting around, the more time I had to study him, literally from the inside out. I now more about the Kitty then I ever wanted to know. I think a good relationship has some mystery to it and then he started barfing. I started to really worry, CAT CANCER. This is my baby! I love him and something is very wrong.

I had enough and my throw rugs were getting swimmers ear. I called the vet to make an appointment. “Hi, I need to get my cat into to see the doctor? I think HE HAS CAT CANCER? No, its not an emergency (my inability to bring the cat to the vet before he was terminal is really not their fault), Saturday would be fine”. That was Monday, Tuesday, I came home to a giant cat box and hours later he repainted the bathroom.

By 5pm Wednesday we were at the vets office.

Blood Sample
Lab Work package STAT
Differential exam of blood cells STAT
Blood cell count STAT
Internal Organ Function Screen STAT

Wednesday, February 9, 2005

Raleigh Anti-Bush Rally

The details for the rally are below.

Thursday, February 10th
Assemble between 8-9 AM

NEA Headquarters Parking Lot
North Carolina Association of Educators
700 S. Salisbury Street
Raleigh, NC 27601

Please let us know you can attend, at:

In order to be sure the rally has a clear, consistent message, signs
will be handed out at the event. For the best press coverage, the
organizers have asked you use these these rather than bring your own.

Thanks, as always, for all you do.

Man, I would so be there if there was more warning! I would have totally invented a doctors appointment! too late now, but maybe some of ya'll could go.
Red Meat

I'm sure all of you have at least seen some reference to the Gannan/Guckert scandal? Its everywhere. Great work on the part of the folks who did the investigation. This ladies and gentlemen is the power of the internet and the proof of what we, the greater we, the little guy, the computer owner, the internet surfer, what WE can do, what we should be doing. We can not let the red menace be the only group looking for things to bring to light. This wasn't something someone saw a reference to in the newspaper or on the news. This wasn't news until they made it news. We should all strive to do this sort of thing. We can do this and we should be doing it daily. The White House is hiding being a wall and its our job to bring the wall down. Brick, by brick, by brick. Think of all the things and people who could be sorted out and brought to light if more of us did things like this.

Go to America Blog and The Daily Kos and Atrios and read all about the sordid affair. The good guys won this one.

The fake reporter in question was the lamo who would ask pro-GOP, pro-Shrub soft ball questions at press conferences. He worked for a GOP house organ, but more seriously, may be the source of the Plame leak- which would be very convenient for the admin, if they could pin it on one person, one little non- appointee, a little nothing to take the hit - but that would mean they told their little house organ monkey and they would still burn for it. This makes four paid reporters on the GOP teat, there will be more.
Rice: Iran must halt nuclear program

BRUSSELS, Belgium (CNN) -- U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Wednesday that Iran must live up to its international obligations to halt its nuclear program or "the next steps are in the offing."

full story

By This Summer…
For the Worst of Us, the Diagnosis May Be 'Evil'

Our societys' slide down the slippery slope of witch burning starts here .

from the Wilmington Star
Fun With Dogger and Kitty

It started when I went by Dogster one day and saw that they were having another costume parade like they did at Christmas, except that they don’t call it a costume parade they call it a Holiday Stroll. Whatever, it’s a costume parade. I made the animals participate in the Christmas one and now they were going to be in the Valentines one too.

I told kitty about it and he said somthing to the effect of "over my dead body" and went off to leave a cat bomb on the bathroom rug. Dogger was more receptive to the idea because NO is not a part of her vovabulary, she hears it but she isn’t sure what it means. She thinks it might mean "Let’s play chase!" she also thinks that "Put That Down" means "Swallow It Whole". ESL classes have not been successful.

But before I or we could play dress up I needed props. Dogger will wear a hat, but I used the hat idea for the last stroll and I don’t want to reuse the theme again so soon. I want to keep it fresh, when people see my animals I want them to stand out, I want to be the Annie Leibowitze of amateur pet photography! My little animals are going to pop. Damn it.


Props. If I’m going to stick with the no hats pledge I’m going to have to find something else. I doubt that either animal would wear cheapo Wal-Mart Valentines themed lingerie and they probably don’t make lingerie for those with out shoulders or boobs ( the average Wal-Mart shopper does not have a chin). Kitty would really not wear clothing and if he was somehow, drugged and restrained for the pictures, he would find a way to make sure he had red eyes in all of them. He is also very small and you can’t find really cute clothes for cats - although I have entertained thoughts of themed onesies for him, I don’t think he would co-operate and I can’t see him sitting still for fittings.

So. Props. I couldn’t use a cardboard heart because those puppies are really expensive before Valentines Day and Dogger would only use it for a chew toy and that wouldn’t photograph well at all and gawd knows she can’t have chocolate and I don’t need it. So, no boxes, no lingerie, no hats. I was running out of ideas and time.

I didn’t need to dress the animals! I couyld bring the Valentines to them! I could plop them in front of or on a Valentines Scene and forgo costumes and props all together! This could be fun and since I wouldn’t need much, cheap and reuseable as well. I couldn’t think how I was going to use it but I was going to have it on stand by, just in case the King and Queen of Hearts costume idea I had for them didn't work out. I went to Wal-Mart and bought a yard of valentine-y fabric and went on my way.

The first use was as a stage, I put it on the ottoman and arranged the animals in turn on it, these were all right but I was still not satisfied. Then It came to me Olan Mills! All I needed to do was fix the fabric to a wall and put the animals in front of it! This worked out much better and it was easier to keep the animals in one place. With Kitty I put him on a chair with a red pillow and put them both in front of the fabric, it looked way, way cool. Kitty looked a little homicidal, but not as much as he does in a hat so those pictures turned out fine. Dogger, Doggers look a little like mug shots from My Little Pony land, she looks a little like she got busted for grand theft gumdrop.

On Valentines Day, I’ll post the "winners".

Tuesday, February 8, 2005

Just Terrific

Rove to get larger role at White House Isn't that exactly what America needs?

from The Raw Story
The EPA under Bush

Ethical Rules “Non-Binding”— No Standards to Protect Infants and Fetuses

Pregnant women shouldn’t drink caffine but they can have all the pesticides they want! Go for it!


Dr.Mengele would be so proud... and hey, the EPA is throwing in the video cameras for free

Why do republicans want to see how much poison you can dump into a house before the resident toddler gets brain damage? what exactly are they going to do with this info and to what ends?

from South Knox Bubba

Wasting away again in Samwaltonville

I went back to Sam’s Club for a record third time this week. One time is okay, twice calls your time management skills into questions, a third time makes you look like a homeless person.

I did have a good excuse, all three times. The first time I needed dog food, the second time I was doing a favor for a friend and the third time I was there for the cheap hour processing. It is holiday stroll time again at Dogster and Catster and my little animals really, really want to participate in those strolls. Okay, they really, really want me to find a hobby that does not include making them dress up in little costumes, but sadly for them, I am bigger then they are and if I want them to wear reindeer ears or pose in front of valentine themed fabric - there is not a whole lot they can do about it – especially if I remember to wear my work gloves and leather jacket and confine them to a small space when I start feeling festive.

Anyway. Back to Sam’s Club. I was in the store before I remembered that I didn’t bring anything with me to read. This is a terrible blow to my all ready pathetic Eating at Sam’s For Lunch On Purpose plan, if I’m going to be seen there I like to at least look like I have better things to do and I’m just on accident there and I was hungry and they have food and, and… They do have paperbacks there so I turned my film in and headed over to the paper backs.

I would think it would not be too much to ask that at least one of the authors I read to have something out in paper back, I read a lot, and I’ll read almost anything. This should be a no brainer, check out the books, grab the first one that looks interesting and move on. It was too much to ask. No one I read has anything out in paperback! Not one of the available titles held any interest to me. There was a slew of pulpy romance novels and their dot com doppelganger, chick lit – Jaz and Jordan talking about Dudes V. Margaret and Lillian talking about Men. The only difference between the two genres is the verbiage, the plots are the same. In Chick Lit, Jaz and Jordan pursue their ideal hotty, talk about their orgasms and confess to their one night stands with hot, but no good, guys, while in Pulpy Romance Novels, Margaret and Lillian pursue the ideal husband while discuss their orchids and confess their luncheons with hot, but inappropriate gentlemen. There were also a couple of Real Life crime titles, a handful of sci-fi garbage and one or two army stories… of course if I was in the market for Khristan self help books, I’d have been in hog heaven – short version of all of them “Are you a Khristian? Get that way!”.

I didn’t find anything to read but I did kill time. I visited My One true Shed – a building larger then any dorm room and better lit then my last apartment, its also larger then my current yard, so we will never consummate our love. There is also a pretender shed at the store, that if I had $700 dollars sitting around to spend on a big plastic box, would be fine; It would fit in my yard and protect the lawn mower, but it’s not My One True Shed so I find things wrong with it, for example, it looks dumpy, the color is all wrong and the poky little sky light will leak… the One True Shed has a gorgeous figure, is the perfect color, has a lovely leak proof solarium and is completely with out fault. I love My One True Shed.

Monday, February 7, 2005

Iron Curtain meet Iron Rug

Source: Russia, Iran May Sign Nuke Deal This Month

Putin owed Shrub one

Committee reviewing intelligence abilities on Iran Trying to learn from our mistakes leading up to Iraq by making different mistakes...

Iran to retaliate if US attacks

Hassan Rohani told Reuters news agency there was nothing the West could do that would persuade Tehran to scrap its nuclear programme.
Both the US and Israel have said it would be unacceptable for Iran to have nuclear weapons.
Iran says its nuclear programme will be used to generate electricity.
The US has refused to rule out a military strike on Iran, but has said it will try to resolve the dispute by diplomatic means.

Bush Supports the troops?

Well, not exactly . We'd better get serious about Supporting The Troops because their lives are about to get a lot more dificult and expensive.

The secret world

Have you ever thought about all the things you do and places you’ve gone once. and people you mete one time for three minutes that nobody knows about? That old guy you gave a ride to that time because it was cold and looked helpless? How would you explain that if he were up not all that helpless and made you regret feeling sorry for him? Can you image the phone call from the ER when you have to tell your loved ones the reason you got mugged was because you tried to be a nice person? “Oops? His limp was fake?”, because you know better then to pick up strangers! You would never do something like that! And yet, and yet... that person needed you and you wanted to help them. We don’t get many chances to directly help other people, not physically and it doesn’t count if its your job, its not the same if you write a check or sign a petition, how often are we at the right place at the right time to actually help another person? Not often. They don’t hand out awards for it, but you don’t get rewards for little acts, you might end up in the ER one time out of a thousand, but they don’t
give plaques for giving a random anonymous stranger a ride in the cold and you can never, never tell anyone you did give a random anonymous stranger a ride because it was cold, because you shouldn’t give random, anonymous strangers rides, ever. But you did.

And how about all those places you go just that one time? That little resale store on the other side of town or that time you got bored and went to go grocery shopping in the next town. Who knows that you go there, even occasionally? If you were there and fell over with a stroke, wouldn’t your people wonder about it? “Why was s/he there? What took her/im out there?”. It would be a mystery to them and if you could tell them it was just a wild hair that took you out there, they would still wonder. It would take on all kinds of deeper meaning, why you were there and what you were doing, they would make up whole worlds of reason why you were out there. It would take on a life of its own, why you were there. People like those explanations better then the real reason. I think people want others to be more interesting then they are.

I some times think about that, when I’m far a field for no good reason. What would happen if something happened while I’m out here in the middle of nowhere? is the explanation that I wanted to see where the road went a good enough reason when I find out that the road goes nowhere to nothing and now I’m there? “Where am I?, I’m nowhere, come and get me”. Why am I here? How would I explain this? Who am I going to call? how do you give directions to nowhere?

And what about the people you meet? Those people you meet standing in line for something that is supposed to take a few minutes and ends up taking forever and you stand there and wind up talking to them because it gets uncomfortable to be standing there not saying anything and then what? You don’t know their name or anything about them but you know they are returning a game system because someone else bought it first and now this person has to takes theirs back because, because . . . you don’t know these people and suddenly they’re telling you about this son and that daughter and somebodies girlfriends kids and all the stress they are getting over gifts for them you’re privy to all their private family drama. You end up knowing things that they don’t tell each other and you suddenly have this Rosetta stone for their lives and who is going to ask you about this stuff?! The returnee ends up dead in some awful domestic violence thing and if they only knew to ask that person in line behind them in the return line, boy, they could close that case fast ...

Sunday, February 6, 2005


Saturday, February 5, 2005


Friday, February 4, 2005

Because I am still confused

Big Media Matt gives another explanation of the Bushit Plan to screw us over in our old age. In his speech Shrub said those 55 and older won't be affected by the proposed changes, and shouldn't be freaked out. George Bush said "Hi old people! You rawk, we lurve you! you aren't going to live long enough to cost us the big money". Aren't the Baby Boomers 55 and over? Aren't they a huge and potentially very expensive group? Wait, they get the money and we get "private accounts?" That should have sent most of the country into free fall panic. We are all potential 55 year olds, we will need SS when we get there, under this plan we will be there, SS will not. I mean, yay! Your Mom and Dad are safe, but boo! you are going to be screwed under this plan.

Here is Big Media Matts explanation. Short version? Say NO to the private account idea. Keep on doing what you are now and don't let them talk you into anything.

The Bush admin, hates you, keep that in mind when hearing their fairy tales about the private accounts. If you find yourself getting sucked in to their scheme, and start to think it sounds like a good idea... Remember that the devil can quote scripture to his own ends.

from Matt Yglesias

Shiite Coalition Takes a Big Lead in Early Vote Count in Iraq

Published: February 4, 2005

BAGHDAD, Iraq, Feb. 3 - Preliminary election returns released Thursday by Iraqi authorities showed that 72 percent of the 1.6 million votes counted so far from Sunday's election went to an alliance of Shiite parties dominated by religious groups with strong links to Iran. Only 18 percent went to a group led by Prime Minister Ayad Allawi, a secular Shiite who favors strong ties to the United States. Few votes went to Sunni candidates.

Damn. What would happen if you invented an election and nobody voted for you? this may be the first time the rethuglicans have been in charge of an election that they didn't win.

From the New York Times full story here

By the pricking of my thumbs something war like this way comes.

"I don't think anybody thinks that the unelected mullahs who run that regime are a good thing for the Iranian people or for the region. I think our European allies agree that the Iranian regime's human rights behavior and its behavior toward its own population is something to be loathed."

- CONDOLEEZZA RICE, secretary of state.

I saw an interview with Hirshman on TDS and he said by this summer we will be at war with Iran. Rice said that there wan't a plan for an Iran war, but she lies. A Lot. She's a liar. By this summer...

New York Times

A Snowballs chance in…

Well, it didn’t snow. It didn’t even sleet. Rain! No account, lazy, do nothing storm front. The least it could have done is carried frost with it. I parked my car at the end of my drive way with the hope that if it did end up snowing I could get out and on my way. I ended up walking all the way to the end of the drive way in the rain. Yuck. The trees are happy and my poor misbegotten potted plants are happy, I think my hydrangea is in a good mood - and I believe they all truly do deserve to be happy - but really. If the weather gods are going to continue to tease us with bad weather, I’m just going to take my ball and go home. I have a perfectly good, no wait, two perfectly good ski jackets, rubber boots, and a huge assortment of glove, a few pair are even with out with out holes in the fingers. I also have a complete wardrobe of winter scarves. I am ready and willing to go out in the snow. This winter rain thing is not what I think of when I think of Winter. This is spring and I want the bugs to be dead by spring not having happy bug family picnics in my basement and taking bug hikes across my living room carpet or bug spelunking in my vents. I need a few inches of snow and maybe a nice layer of ice and I need it now.

The accepted wisdom says that a hard winter will kill the bugs and make for a nicer spring and summer. That doesn’t exactly jibe with the hard winter we had last year and the crop of bugs that lived in my basement all summer. I don’t know how cold it has to be to kill those cricket/spider frankenbugs but I’m thinking Ice Age. This winter with the exception of just a few days, has been more like Frost Age and I don’t think that’s putting a big dent in the creepy crawly population.

The rain sucks to walk the dog in too. Cold weather is okay with Dogger, she puffs up her fur, she wears her sweater and we go on our way. I might end up with a red nose, and her little butt might get chapped - but it’s not a big deal. The rain on the other hand is a big deal and neither of us wants to spend much time in it. Dogger really gets annoyed. She doesn’t like squatting on cold, wet ground. She has taking on cold wet days, to peeing like a boy dog! It’s unseemly.

Lets see. Its Friday!. Woo-Hoo! The last New Boss free day. I need to embrace the joy while I can. I have spent the last week being very productive and undepressed, the news that she wasn’t going to start right away made me so happy, but now, the “not right away” is Right Now. Monday Morning is going to be here soon. Maybe I’ll stay after work tonight just to spend a little more time with out the anxiety. Lunch Buddy keeps saying that there are State Offices even worse then this one and I might end up in a place with some one even more distasteful then New Boss, but at least a different office wouldn’t feature the same New Boss. I would like a new supervisor to not all ready have a preconceived bad attitude about my work habits. It just sucks. I keep on applying to another new position every day and eventually if I keep it up, I will get a nibble from somebody somewhere for some other job. I hope so.
A Snowballs chance in…

Well, it didn’t snow. It didn’t even sleet. Rain! No account, lazy, do nothing storm front. The least it could have done is carried frost with it. I parked my car at the end of my drive way with the hope that if it did end up snowing I could get out and on my way. I ended up walking all the way to the end of the drive way in the rain. Yuck. The trees are happy and my poor misbegotten potted plants are happy, I think my hydrangea is in a good mood - and I believe they all truly do deserve to be happy - but really. If the weather gods are going to continue to tease us with bad weather, I’m just going to take my ball and go home. I have a perfectly good, no wait, two perfectly good ski jackets, rubber boots, and a huge assortment of glove, a few pair are even with out with out holes in the fingers. I also have a complete wardrobe of winter scarves. I am ready and willing to go out in the snow. This winter rain thing is not what I think of when I think of Winter. This is spring and I want the bugs to be dead by spring not having happy bug family picnics in my basement and taking bug hikes across my living room carpet or bug spelunking in my vents. I need a few inches of snow and maybe a nice layer of ice and I need it now.

The accepted wisdom says that a hard winter will kill the bugs and make for a nicer spring and summer. That doesn’t exactly jibe with the hard winter we had last year and the crop of bugs that lived in my basement all summer. I don’t know how cold it has to be to kill those cricket/spider frankenbugs but I’m thinking Ice Age. This winter with the exception of just a few days, has been more like Frost Age and I don’t think that’s putting a big dent in the creepy crawly population.

The rain sucks to walk the dog in too. Cold weather is okay with Dogger, she puffs up her fur, she wears her sweater and we go on our way. I might end up with a red nose, and her little butt might get chapped - but it’s not a big deal. The rain on the other hand is a big deal and neither of us wants to spend much time in it. Dogger really gets annoyed. She doesn’t like squatting on cold, wet ground. She has taking on cold wet days, to peeing like a boy dog! It’s unseemly.

Lets see. Its Friday!. Woo-Hoo! The last New Boss free day. I need to embrace the joy while I can. I have spent the last week being very productive and undepressed, the news that she wasn’t going to start right away made me so happy, but now, the “not right away” is Right Now. Monday Morning is going to be here soon. Maybe I’ll stay after work tonight just to spend a little more time with out the anxiety. Lunch Buddy keeps saying that there are State Offices even worse then this one and I might end up in a place with some one even more distasteful then New Boss, but at least a different office wouldn’t feature the same New Boss. I would like a new supervisor to not all ready have a preconceived bad attitude about my work habits. It just sucks. I keep on applying to another new position every day and eventually if I keep it up, I will get a nibble from somebody somewhere for some other job. I hope so.

Thursday, February 3, 2005

Private Accounts?

Are you confused about Shrubs current boondoggle? You should be! That's just the way he and the rest of the RNC planned it. Go here and let Uncle Atrios explain it all to you. Then, get on your phone and call your reps and tell them that there IS NO CRISIS IN SOCIAL SECURITY!!!!

from Atrios
Impending Doom – Pt. 2 the Doomination

It supposed to snow again. This time I’m not getting sucked in to the whole Buy Milk and Bread Right Now or You Will Die meme or even my version - Buy Junk Food And Pringles Right Now Or You Will Get Stuck With Ramen Morning Noon and Night version that I do. I’m just not going to save The Triangle from itself. If it’s going to snow, it’s going to snow, they are going to have to deal with it. I’m tired of having to go shopping and stock up on ring dings so that everyone else can make it to work. I did it twice in a row and nobody gave me the keys to the city for my sacrifice – so this time? These people are on their own.

The news said it was coming and I heard them talking about it at work, I still don’t really believe it and won’t until the ground is white and the traffic is at a stand still, it was sunny out before, but while I was at lunch I noticed a little cloud cover coming in and now its all but over cast. I really don’t think it’s going to happen for us snow wise though because I looked up at the moon this morning and it didn’t have a halo around it, which I have learned from too much time around the rednecks, means snow is on the way. It really just means that there were no high altitude clouds, but those are the clouds that bring snow, apparently. Whatever.

Yesterday, I got to be all heroic. I gave blood, again. I’m always happy when I can do it. I got lucky this time because the tech who did the test to see if you are too anemic to give blood really wasn’t all that into it. My little blood globule kind of sank then it floated to the surface and when I told her that, she looked at it and tapped the glass and it started to fall. Other techs disqualified me right off when it doesn’t sink like a stone on the first try. The process was faster this time too, the last time I sat there for freaking ever waiting to fill the bag, this time I was in and out of the building in 45 minutes start to finish. The volunteer manning the cookie table gave me a pin for my coat and a couple of magnets and didn’t insist that I sit there for twenty minutes or whatever like they have done before. I really had to book though, the local news was on with some story about how Khristians feel like they are being abused on College campuses and I decided to leave before I barfed. As I was leaving the volunteer said next time they might have tee shirts! Bring on the iron tablets! I’ll do anything for a free tee shirt.

What else? Dogger and I watched TV last night. She liked House pretty well, but she couldn’t follow NYPD Blue, she slept through almost the whole episode and I ended up putting her to bed. She was not there to tease me because I got teary when the squad saluted Andy when he got his sergeants strips – which is good because the last thing I need is for her to know I got teary over a TV show. Screw her though, I’ve watched that show for the last 11 years, and I can cry if I want to. It’s almost over, only four more episodes to go. They had better not kill anyone, well, except for the new captain; they can kill him if they want to.

I went back to my Wendy’s today for lunch. The one time I didn’t ask for a kid’s meal the asswipe who won’t give me my toy wasn’t there. They don’t have any good toys now anyway, McDonalds has the good toys. I now have three white and pink My Little Pony toys. Yay.

Wednesday, February 2, 2005

Kitty Love

Kitty is my new best friend. He lurves me the way only cold kitties can. He has gotten over is personal bubble and thinks that the importance of Personal Space and Boundaries are a wildly over empathized and probably bad for your health. He’s cold and I’m warm and now he lurves me. Come August he’ll forget it ever happened.

I was trying to address an envelope the other day, hard enough as it is with my bad handwriting and every time I put pen to paper there was a kitty head in the way. Kitty has never handing out cheap head butts and there he was getting all sweet on my pen. Most of the time, he walks around with a piece of chalk in his mouth and he draws a little lines on the floor and dares me to cross them. He is not a touchy feely kitty.

He spends the summer lying on his back on the tiles in front of the fireplace hissing at anyone who comes too near him. He does not want to share the cool tiles with anyone, Dogger also discovered the wonder of the tiles but she learned to keep her distance early. Occasionally, Kitty will move a foot or so off the tiles and lay on his back in the middle of the living room floor – he looks really, really cute when he does this – all stretched out and sprawled all over, it makes him look like a little bear rug. One time, I tried to put my feet him when he was doing his little rug impersonation... I ended up picking bits of the rug out of my hair and teeth for days after that little experiment in masochism.

But, now see, its winter. Kitty doesn’t like winter. This is funny because as fat as he is and with the fur coat he wears, he should, in theory have enough body heat to warm a 600 square foot apartment. Okay, I kid, really probably only an efficiency – but still, Kitty’s got back and he could be a little more interested in sharing some of that body heat with those of us less well equipped for the cold, like me.

I think that kitty should volunteer to be worn as a scarf from the middle of November through the end of April. I think he could also be open to working as a bed warmer and as a foot stool. I think that during really cold snaps, he should step up and work as a hat. I see a lot of opportunities for him to help me, the keeper of his food and the cleaner of his box and the restrainer of the Dogger – make my winter more pleasent.

Its not that Kitty won’t chip in, he will. But, not when I ask him to, if I say “Hey, Kitty, I’m cold, why don’t you come up here and sit in my lap and watch TV with me and be a little furry hot water bottle?”, because a warm kitty is very much like a hot water bottle that cares about you. Kitty won’t even dignify this with a response. Two o’clock in the morning, I’m sound asleep, buried on blankets and about as warm as it is possible in my house, I am happy. I didn’t ask for Kitty, I didn’t want Kitty, I wasn’t even dreaming of Kitty so of course, Hello Kitty! In my mouth, crushing my wind pipe and holding me down. Now, I had Kitty. And Kitty did not want to move. If I’m watching TV and Kitty feels cold enough he will jump up on the chair and grace me with his regal self, if I as much as use the remote to change channels, he’s up and out of there. When he as trying to kill me in the middle of the night? He’s a champion bronc rider and nothing is unsetting him. He’s stuck to me like superglue and he wouldn’t get up. I finally had to rouse myself enough to wake myself up and sit up in bed to get the furry assassins' tail out of my throat and then he just looks at me like “What?! A couple of hours ago that was cute and now you want a TRO? Gawd you’re fickle! I think one us needs to go sleep on the couch”.

He was real surprised when I kicked him down the stairs.