Winter time and the living is easy…

Last night while I was walking Dogger it was 70 degrees, I was wearing short sleeves and it wasn’t raining! It was beautiful. But like all things of beauty it was fated to fade. Its very pretty today and warm so I can be confident in predicting that by the weekend we will be looking at more Imminent Doom if not actually, another ice age.

It rained on Monday night when I was walking Dogger and we didn’t enjoy it. I would get her a little doggy rain coat but I’m afraid that people would look at me funny if I put a rain coat on a large dog: I don’t want her to start gathering a wardrobe. She’s too big for that. If I develop the over whelming urge to dress on of my pets I think I’ll go with the Kitty – because if I follow through with dressing him, he’s sure to kill me and put me out of my Dressing My Pets misery, he has all ready put his little paw print on a letter that says if I start to turn into dog humiliater like Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson, that he will kill me in my sleep. He’s cruel but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. He attacks because he cares.

We’re still having fun with pills, Kitty and I, and this morning for the first time I was really pretty sure he did not get the pill down. I was holding him wrong and I wasn’t able to use both hands to keep his head back and mouth shut so he was able to open his mouth enough to drool the remains of the pill onto the table and then run away when I tried to rescue it before it disintegrated. Tonight, he will get his pills, I have two more chances to get it down his throat and make sure it stays there. I’m also thinking of taking a different tact. I think this time I’m going to force him to the floor as I am popping the pill into his throat. I want to mix it up a bit so he doesn’t have a chance to figure out a way to either escape or cause a distraction. The kitty treats I found do a good job of keeping him in the room and he really likes the way they smell, he doesn’t always want to eat them. I think he knows that I use them as a pill swallowing ploy and he doesn’t appreciate the subterfuge. I think he should be glad it’s his mouth I am forcing the pill into, I know something he does not: there are different orifices available for this and if he doesn’t learn to grin and bear it, he may force me to ask the doctor about the other options.

Dogger was being very oral on our walk yesterday. Dogger discovered that my hand is a fun chew toy, even more fun then her leash. I did not have fun and I couldn’t properly um, “discipline” her because we were out in public and I didn't think the tiny children who were watching Dogger show her ass in the middle of the street needed to know what I wanted to say to her while she was chewing on my hand. I’m pretty sure those kids all ready know all the words I was going to use, and I bet they know even more creative ways to use them then I do; but I didn’t think it was time for a language lesson in the off chance they didn’t all ready know how to properly conjugate the word “fuck” . I was limited to using the hand Dogger was chewing on to drag her further down the street while I ordered her to “LET GO” in as many “G” rated ways as I could while I tried to get past the kids and could finally speak to her in a language she understands: get her teeth the fuck out of my hand before I fucking had to kick the shit out of her, damn it.


Call me the Dog Threatener.