Friday, February 18, 2005

Son of Bits and Pieces

Another beautiful day! I should be outside, washing Minnie or scrubbing the drive way or mulching something, whatever it is people do in their yards when its pretty instead of what I do. Yesterday when it was also beautiful, I celebrated by shoveling the dog shite out of the yard! Woo-Hoo! Dayum. It was all that. I would think about washing Minnie but then I would have to take the freeze guard bra thing off the faucet and somehow, I don’t see me doing that until the weather guy can swear on a stack of bibles that there is no chance it’s going to freeze again – so maybe like in June. It probably isn’t good to wash your car too often anyway, they need that coat of dust and grease to protect it from the elements and it protects from newer, dirtier dust and grease it might come in contact with or something and in may case, its going to rain again on Monday and why wash it only to get it all dirty again? Besides I have issues about the detergent run off and the water table now that the detergent from my laundry doesn’t discharge out into my drive way and into the street like it used to, I have a lot of water table detergenting to do penance for.

Lunch Memos

Oh, I am very excited! I discovered that my Chinese place I go to serves a shrimp version of my favorite meat dish! Now, I can avoid the horror that was Burger Yuckys fish burger thing! I was very scarred by that, very. So, this week I can score a decent lunch and be all Lenten and correct.

I am also doing a good job collecting My Litte Pony ponies. I started off badly, gathering three of the same figure before it finally sunk in that all the McDonalds have the same figure at the same time. This is unusual. Normally, I can get a different toy at every store. I’ve wised up and subsequently, have three different MLP figures. I have yet to understand why people like these; they are just plastic horses with neon mains. They aren’t anywhere as cool as even the least interesting Sponge Bob toy. The MLPs don’t do anything. Whatever.

Due to Lunch Buddy having an attack of real life again, I’m back to eating by myself. I offered to wash her dogs for her, as she is very busy and most likely doesn’t have time for such things, but she didn’t want me to. What I should have offered to do would be to shovel out her house and teach her kids to do their own laundry, tidy the house and do the dishes and possibly cook simple meals for themselves - all at gun point if necessary, but that would be wrong. She didn’t want me to clean her animals she most certainly doesn’t want me to hold her kids at gun point while they do chores around the house. I would of course, sacrifice and let them practice their new skills at my house. With LB busy, my substitute lunch companion is Naked by David Sedaris, it could also be any of his other books, they all all more or less the same book; Its a good thing I like that book. This weekend I’m going to have to go to the flea market and check out the book booth to find who’s going to win the big Eat Lunch With Diana Lottery for this coming week. I’m sure whomever wins will be thrilled with the opportunity to live in my car and spend quality time with me in various fast food places. I think the winner will have to be a paper back and hopefully, something I have not all ready read, for instance, The Gun Seller, its by Hugh Laurie. The word from the gushing fangirl reviews I found on gushing fangirl sites is that it is the best book ever written, ever. We’ll see.

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