Monday, December 31, 2007




2008 !!!!









Sunday, December 30, 2007


Saturday, December 29, 2007


Friday, December 28, 2007


I take pictures. Everything in a picture is important or it would not be in the picture. I control what is in the frame, because I am more important than the picture. I "doctor", sharpen/saturate/straighten/play with focus/crop my pictures because my version of reality is more important than the real picture. My pictures are not news, if I did take something newsworthy I would not doctor it because I am not more important than the news.

Yesterday, Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. You probably had saw it on the news or on the front page of your paper today it was illustrated with a photo of a man with his arms outstretched surrounded by out-of focus mayhem. Life is not out of focus. News photos shouldn't be either. The editors made themselves more important than the news. When that many people are killed, it leaves a bloody, sharply focused, mess.. The original, in-focus shot will win a Pulitzer. Go here to see the real picture, and then read here and read about them.

There is a genre in movies called "Torture Porn", TV shows routinely glamerously show us corpses in varies stages of decomp, we play video games where we kill as many in as a bloody a manor as possible and the PTB think we can't handle real death? No real dead people for us? When the news reports tell us XXX number of people were killed, we're okay with blurring them out? Are they afraid that real images of real dead people would turn us off the fake ones? Is it to make sure it doesn't matter to us? Would they prefer we only know fake death? What if 45 dead actually meant to us 45 dead people not 45 points.

All links from

And don't give me any we-must-protect-the-widdle-children bull shit either. My Mother saw the newsreels of the concentration camps at the damn movie theatre and she was very, very, very young. You think back in the forties they didn't care about the widdle children?

Hello children!

And how was your holiday? I had a great time and got many nice things and then I got my purse stolen, plus two of the nice things I got that I had stored in my purse. For safe keeping.

From my car.
In my driveway.

I had been out shopping and I had things to get into the house. I decided that getting that frozen chicken into the house was more important than getting my brand new GPS unit into the house. I blame the thief for about 2/3s and about about 1/3 me for providing as attractive situation. I'm as mad at him (I assume) almost as much as I am mad at me.

I don't want to kill him though. Stealing is not a kill-able offence in this country. Instead, I would like to leave a scar. I would like him to be scarred the way I am. I want him to feel the pain too. I want him to have to lose control. I would like him to have to make all those calls, to tell the story over and over. I want him to be as angry with himself and I am with myself.

I also have the flu. So, all of this crap I now have to do is also making me very, very, very tired. And I have a sore throat. Oddly, The Kitty is a much better nurse than Dogger. Kitty is all Okay, stay right there, make yourself comfortable, I'll curl up and purr for the next couple of hours.

While Dogger is all Lets go! Hey, hey! Chase me! Ya wanna go to the park! Lets go to the park!.

I'm all Go eat your toy, I'm sick and SOMEONE STOLE MY PURSE.

Monday, December 24, 2007



Sunday, December 23, 2007


Saturday, December 22, 2007


Friday, December 21, 2007

Friday Santa Blogging





Thursday, December 20, 2007

Pretty, useless

I found another thing to add to the It’s Just For Looks category.

I have a new winter coat this year. True, I bought it on sale. It was a lot on sale, but no so much on sale that I look at discovering the snaps are purely decorative in nature as a happy surprise, not after discovering that the zipper was just kind of there for looks as well. It was cheap but it was not free. I mean, at some point the coat was being sold at full price

And the zipper did work, for a while. Like in the store and the first couple of times I wore it and then one time I went to zip it up and it kind of stuck, but then it worked and then I went to zip it up later and it did the same thing and I blamed the humidity and after that it warmed up and I didn’t need a coat so I put it out of my mind.

But then it got winter again and I put the coat on and went to zip it up and it did it again and I was like Oh. It’s doing that thing again, but this time it zipped up – in appearance, it didn’t really. What it really did was unzip itself and then be a real pain to rezip and it would do this three or four times until I was making myself late for work. The coat comes with snaps, so I assumed that they functioned as snaps. I thought that was why they gave you both options. You can zip it closed or you can snap it closed and in case the zipper fails, well the snaps are there for you. I’m sure it was a selling point and I bet they charged me for those snaps. They should have mentioned that they were just for looks, like the pretend second set of pockets.

I have a really old coat, vintage even, and it has zipper issues too. But it has 50 year old zipper issues and I can understand that. 50 years old and it still has its original zipper and it will still zip if you give it a running start. It doesn’t have snaps because it doesn’t need snaps. New coat? New coat all ready needs a new zipper and I don’t want to put a replacement zipper in a new coat.

But I’m going to, I mean, it’s get a new zipper or toss the coat. I don’t want to toss the coat and I don’t want to keep wearing the old coat and the really old coat is too heavy for the average day around here. Its wool and weighs about the same as the sheep it came from. And its bright red. It’s memorable to say the least. For every-day wear, I’m not really looking to be memorable. I’m looking for a working zipper.

Attention guy who offices next to me: Stay in your damn office! Stay put! Stop getting up. You make me nervous. And stay out of my office. No, I didn’t forget to stamp that, don’t look at me like that, it’s a fax, and it comes with its own stamp, it’s pre-stamped. Go away. Every time I see you, you give work back to me, I gave it to you, it’s your work, you do it. Troll

Do you know why they invented cell phones? So that you can get up and leave and have private conversations, privately - In private where I can’t hear you. Take the phone outside and have this conversation elsewhere. In private. Away from me. All you have to say to the caller is “I can’t really talk here, let me call you back on my cell in a few and we can talk about this at length IN PRIVATE”.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Bonfire of the Emails

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Firefighters battled thick smoke and flames Wednesday inside the historic Eisenhower Executive Office Building, next door to the White House, which houses the vice president's ceremonial offices. The building, built between 1871 and 1888, is also called the Old Executive Office Building. It was originally built for the State, War and Navy Departments and is an example of the French Second Empire style of architecture, according to a government Web site.

The building is the site of a number of events, including ceremonial signings, news conferences and photo opportunities.

Full "story" here

picture lifted from
Shoe Enough

I want to know what the philosophy behind installing glass soles on shoes. I have a pair of shoes that are not new .I wear them on hard surfaces and in theory they should be sufficiently scuffed as to prevent slipping and causing falls but after being worn for months they are still soled with shellac.

I slipped twice today on grass. Once first thing in the morning out in the yard with Dogger, who despite her initial trepidation was an excellent dance partner, and in the soles defense, there may have been frost and then again at my office on my way to lunch when there was most certainly no frost, when I went to chase a plastic bag. Don’t ask.

I don’t see how having the soles of the shoe’s being made slick is a good thing. Is there a guy sitting in a secret high fashion showroom in Italy somewhere and he decided what mind of soles we should have on our mid-priced loafers? Just because they are Capezio we should be expected to spontaneously break out in dance? I’m sure my little spill this morning, set to music would have been quite delightful.

I do not understand how someone’s highly defined, cultured; sense of footwear aesthetics could be offended by a shoe with a slip-proof sole. I do understand that the shoes were no doubt designed by someone with a clinically advanced and possibly crippling, foot fetish and I realize that loafers aren’t exactly the most sexy of foot wear but I don’t understand why they thought a foot would look better if it was in a cast. I do think however that the shoe was designed by an apprentice shoe designer because other than the problematic sole, the shoes do not cause me any kind of pain or disfigurement – attributes that are required design elements of high end ladies shoes. As a mid-range loafer, those sought after extras are not included. However, what they lack in style they more than make up for with the very sexy potential for causing personal injury. I’m sure the designer, having thus proved himself as a true high fashion misogynist, has moved up and on to designs with much more potential for disfigurement by now.

I’m going to channel pre-Seinfeld Seinfeld: What is it with this reverting back from Daylight savings time? What exactly is the benefit of this? More daylight in the early morning? I’m leaving for work at exactly the same time as before the time change and it is as dark when I leave as it was before. I fail to see the upside to “extra” light in the morning hours. I’m pretty sure the harvests are in, and I would be more than happy to have more than 20 minutes of useable daylight in the evenings when I come home. Have you ever tried to explain to your dog the reason you aren’t going to the park is because you stopped to speak with a co-worker on your way out the door and then you ran into a detour downtown on the way home and it took an extra six minutes to get home and now it’s dark and oh well.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


Today there was a photocopied Christmas Message in my paper from the Newspaper and my delivery boy. For me Christmas came early, Monday morning my paper arrived on time. As for my gift to him, I all ready gave him his gift this year, last week, one of the days the paper was late, I didn’t call and complain about it! God Bless Us Everyone.

Sunday, Dogger decided that she wanted her chance to decorate the tree. She was playing with the pelt of one of her gutted toys and she threw it into the branches of the tree. It is to her credit that she thought it looked good where it landed.

While Dogger was decking the halls, I was watching Ratatouille. I’m not loving it. I know it’s supposed to be really funny and pf course Pixar is totally Pixar-iffic, but damn, why was this supposed to be so funny? I don’t get the humor of a rat being all over a restaurant kitchen. And riding around under that guy’s hat? Sorry. Ew. Rat cooties all in his hair and he doesn’t wash his hands and you know he runs his hands through his hair as soon as rat goes on break or whatever. Ick. And so far? The rat hasn’t been shown as being all about his hygiene either, I mean if he dipped himself in alcohol and agreed to wear a Clean Suit, perhaps but no, Ew. He’s a rat. I don’t care what kind of foodie he’s supposed to be, he’s a rat. Ew.

I did think the trailer they ran of Pixar shorts looked interesting – One of about 3700 trailers I had to skip in order to start watching the movie before dawn. One trailer is fine, two is okay, three is allowable but when it’s six, seven, eight and nine that it’s getting ridiculous. The damn movie is already almost two hours long as it is. Two hours of a rat gallivanting around a kitchen. Touching The Food.

Maybe it’s better in French.

The food bomb finally exploded at the office. I have a tin of home made fudge, a gift bag full of snack sized candy bars, a plate of deserts I took as a doggy bag from the Nursing Home Branch Christmas lunch, there is a left over crumb cake from our groups Christmas table last week, and some one brought in a thing of baklava – Sam’s, but still. Baklava.

If someone would bring in a tub of cold sodas, it would be great.

In years past the nursing home branch, the acute care branch, the adult care branch and I think mental health had a shared Christmas lunch. The retirees came back, the surveyors were off the road and it was really nice. It was normally a pot luck. Lately, however the branches have separate lunches and they are catered. At least the nursing home branch has it’s catered. I think attendance is down. It was great when it was everybody from all the branches and now that most of us are in the same building, it would be nice if we could get to know each other and the lunch would be an excellent way to facilitate that.

You would think.

But it would require that a handful of grown women act like adults and we can’t have that. So, Nursing Home decorated the room and had their catered lunch at 11:30 and then took everything down, Acute Care hustled in, redecorated the room and had their pot luck at 1pm. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Food Porn

So this is what a weekend is like when you aren’t trying to get everything done is like. Wow, I had forgotten what it was like to catch my breath.

And I also made three batches of dog cookies ( peanut butter, bacon and beta tested apple-carrot), did my laundry, raked the yard, did a little last minute shopping, re-purposed Santa’s workshop back into a bedroom, finally took the decoration boxes back upstairs to the attic. And I still felt like I was sitting around relaxing. That’s how crappy my past weekends have been. Santa’s elves still owe me a thing or three, but after (please Gawd) those arrive, I’ll be done.

Did I over extend myself? Oh lets check my bank statement, Yes! Yes I did! Well, when it comes time for after Christmas shopping perhaps I’ll just leave my purse at home and go on a diet, and wear thick sweaters around the house and walk to work...

I made the new batches of dog treats because I remembered a couple of folks who office upstairs in the new building and they fell into kind of an Out-of-sight-out-of-mind place and all of a sudden I was like Oh, shit! I remember you! Of Course I have Cookies For You! It’s Just That You Have Large Breed Dogs And The Other 1,108 Cookies I Made Were For Small Breed Dogs! I will totally bring in your Large Breed Dog Cookies in on Monday!.

Now, I didn’t just make cookies for the two women at work I forgot about, after I made all those cookies over the past weeks for other dogs, Dogger got squat and she knew it. I was going to make treats for her anyway, this way she just got to enjoy more varieties. She is the only dog to get the apple-carrot treats. She’s special.

I noticed that she likes carrots - which is interesting because a couple of years ago I made carrot treats and she wouldn’t eat them and I think I ended up having to throw them out. I hope they weren’t as big a pain in the ass to make as this batch was, because I wouldn’t be anywhere near as understanding about that now. With this batch I’m like Yes Girl Dog, those peanut butter ones are real nice, and so are the bacon, but don’t you want some of these apple/carrot ones? You like these? Good. Now before I give you your dinner, have four more! Nummy treats!, Hey I know you’re asleep, but here! Have another apple cookie!. I’m also kind of thinking “Do you like them because they are a little softer than the other cookies, Do they taste sweeter then the other treats? Are they too sweet? Do you wish they were crunchy? Did I use too much molasses? Should I have used more? The apples were the yellow kind, do you think Granny Smith would have been a better choice? Please fill out this sheet. 1 means you really, really didn’t like it, 4 means it’s your favorite ever.”

Dogger isn’t just a taste tester, she’s a one dog focus group.

The good news is that she really seems to like the new variety. The bad news is that I’m not going to make them with fresh apples and carrots again. Too messy. Not the prep work part, but the mixing it part and the rolling out part. Do you know how we get apple juice and carrot juice? We administer weight to the apples and carrots and the juice flows right out. Imagine rolling a rolling pin over fresh apple chunks and carrot peices... You may think “moisture” when you think about apples and carrots but I didn’t. Messy, nasty, icky , dough and afterwards it took forever for them to get anywhere near firm. In and out of the oven. High temp for a short time, low temp for a long time, in and out of the freezer. It was really frustrating. It may just be my preference, but I like my dog treats crunchy instead of chewy. I also don’t see chewy as having the same shelf life as crunchy.

The next batch of apple/carrot is going to be made using apple sauce and baby food carrots. I’m thinking that if they are pre-cooked, that it might cut down on the moisture content.

Sunday, December 16, 2007


Saturday, December 15, 2007


Friday, December 14, 2007

Friday Cat Blogging


I was face down on my desk when I decided I really, really need a coke. I told my co-workers I was leaving and would be back. I had to go off campus because I believed I had no change. Or cash or anything else a vending machine might take in trade.

As I was walsking out of my office I checked my jacket pocket, Hallelujah! 55 cents in change! I checked my wallet again and found a dime! Saint’s be Praised! I didn’t have to go off campus and risk losing my parking spot! I would be able to score my fix in my own building. Woo-Hoo!

I went down to the closet where they hide our coke machine and fed it my change. It obediently spit out a coke. A half filled coke.

Grrrrrrrrrr. Cursing.

I stomped back upstairs to my office, told/shrieked my tale of woe to anyone who was listening, collected my purse and went off campus to the gas station and kissed my good parking space good-bye. I headed to what I believed was the closest gas station, it was not the closest gas station, the other gas station I think is closer, I could tell this because I had to time to think about the relative distances while I on the way there. If it were the closest gas station I wouldn’t have had time for that much analytical thought about relative distances. Anyway. I went into the more-distant-then-anticipated gas station and bought a coke and some raisins, natures own speed and went to check out. $3.67! Coke owes me $3.02and gas money. As I was walking back to my car I was able to right a garbage can that the wind had just knocked over and thus saved the world.

Coke does not owe me a parking spot because I got mine back. Yay.

I didn’t go to my ACORN meeting Wednesday night. I just didn’t want to go. I could have gone but I had baking for actual human beings to do and while I could have done that same baking Thursday night, I wanted to do it Wednesday night. I also think that the meetings are a big pile of time waste and I would go to them freely if going to them was proving something. So far so not, I feel an obligation to attended the meetings but I don’t want to be there.

It also annoys me that in the meetings the phrase “the community” is used over and over. The Community Needs To…, The Community Should… The Community Deserves… Members of the Community… It does not mean the people who live in the area, it’s shorthand for the poor black folks in southeast Raleigh who have historically been used and abused when they weren’t being ignored. Times have changed, there are a whole lot of different people in the area who are being used and abused and ignored as well. Being reminded over and over I am not a member of "the community" does not make me not feel a part of The Community.

The leader guy wants us to lead, we aren’t leaders. We want him to tell us what to do but he's not talking. He's "facilitating" he wants us to come up with ideas and we are idea free. I think most of us would at least attempt whatever was asked of us but he wants us to come up with our own projects. If we could come up with our own projects we wouldn’t need him or his meetings. We want a magic wand and he keeps his locked in his trunk. He seems to believe that we have magic wands of our own or together we can achieve magic wands or something. I have miss placed my magic wand fragment.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Golden Globes 2008: The nominations

The nominations for the 2008 Golden Globe Awards for film and TV productions in full from:

Best film - Drama

American Gangster
Eastern Promises
The Great Debaters
Michael Clayton
No Country For Old Men
There Will Be Blood

Best film - Musical Or Comedy

Across the Universe
Sweeney Todd
Charlie Wilson's War

Best Director - film

Tim Burton - Sweeney Todd
Ethan Coen and Joel Coen - No Country for Old Men
Julian Schnabel - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Ridley Scott - American Gangster
Joe Wright - Atonement

Best performance by an actress in a film - Drama

Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie - Away From Her
Jodie Foster - The Brave One
Angelina Jolie - A Mighty Heart
Keira Knightley - Atonement

Best performance by an actor in a film - Drama

George Clooney - Michael Clayton
Daniel Day Lewis - There Will Be Blood
James McAvoy - Atonement
Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promise
Denzel Washington - American Gangster

Best performance by an actress in a film - Musical or Comedy

Amy Adams - Enchanted
Nikki Blonsky - Hairspray
Helena Bonham Carter - Sweeney Todd
Marion Cotillard - La Vie En Rose
Ellen Page - Juno

Best performance by an actor in a film - Musical Or Comedy

Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd
Ryan Gosling - Lars and the Real Girl
Tom Hanks - Charlie Wilson's War
Philip Seymour Hoffman - The Savages
John Reilly - Walk Hard: The Dewy Cox Story

Best performance by an actress in a supporting role in a film

Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There
Julia Roberts - Charlie Wilson's War
Saoirse Ronan - Atonement
Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton

Best performance by an actor in a supporting role in a film

Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson's War
John Travolta - Hairspray Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton

Best foreign language film

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days (Romania)
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (France and US)
The Kite Runner (US)
Lust, Caution (Taiwan)
Persepolis (France)

Best animated feature film

Bee Movie
The Simpsons Movie

Best screenplay - film

Diablo Cody - Juno
Ethan Coen and Joel Coen - No Country for Old Men
Christopher Hampton - Atonement
Ronald Harwood - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Aaron Sorkin - Charlie Wilson's War

Best original song - film

Despedida - Love in the Time of Cholera
Grace is Gone - Grace is Gone
Guaranteed - Into the Wild
That's How You Know - Enchanted
Walk Hard - Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Best original score - film

Michael Brook, Kaki King, Eddie Edder - Into the Wild
Clint Eastwood - Grace is Gone
Alberto Iglesias - The Kite Runner
Dario Marianelli - Atonement
Howard Shore - Eastern Promises

Cecil B DeMille award - Stephen Spielberg

Best television series - Drama

Big Love
Grey's Anatomy
Mad Men
The Tudors

Best performance by an actress in a television series - Drama

Patricia Arquette - Medium
Glenn Close - Damages
Minnie Driver - The Riches
Sally Field - Brothers and Sisters
Holly Hunter - Saving Grace
Kyra Sedgwick - The Closer
Edie Falco - The Sopranos

Best performance by an actor in a television series - Drama

Michael C Hall - Dexter
Jon Hamm - Mad Men
Hugh Laurie - House
Jonathan Rhys Meyers - The Tudors
Bill Paxton - Big Love

Best television series - Musical Or Comedy

30 Rock
Pushing Daisies

Best performance by an actress in a television series - Musical Or Comedy

Christina Applegate - Samantha Who?
America Ferrera - Ugly Betty
Tina Fey - 30 Rock
Anna Friel - Pushing Daisies
Mary-Louise Parker - Weeds

Best performance by an actor in a television series - Musical Or Comedy

Alec Baldwin - 30 Rock
David Duchovny - Californication
Steve Carrell - The Office
Ricky Gervais - Extras
Lee Pace - Pushing Daisies

Best mini-series or film made for television

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee
The Company
Five Days
The State Within

Best actress in a mini-series or film made for television

Bryce Dallas Howard - As You Like It
Debra Messing - The Starter Wife
Queen Latifah - Life Support
Sissy Spacek - Pictures of Hollis Woods
Ruth Wilson - Jane Eyre

Best actor in a mini-series or film made for television

Adam Beach - Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
Ernest Borgnine - A Grandpa for Christmas
Jim Broadbent - Longford
Jason Isaacs - The State Within
James Nesbitt - Jekyll

Best supporting actress in a mini-series or film made for television

Rose Byrne - Damages
Rachel Griffiths - Brothers and Sisters
Katherine Heigl - Grey's Anatomy
Anna Paquin - Bury My Heart On Wounded Knee
Jaime Pressly - My Name is Earl

Best supporting actor in a mini-series or film made for television

Ted Danson - Damages
Kevin Dillon - Entourage
Jeremy Piven - Entourage
Andy Serkis - Longford
William Shatner - Boston Legal
Donald Sutherland - Dirty Sexy Money
Eating our hearts out

Here it is 12 days before Christmas and there are no treats in the office! I'm starving to death at a time I should suffering from Christmas Cookie Bloat. There should be sugary, sticky snacks covering all the flat surfaces. There should be office to office cookie pushers! We shouldn't be able to get in the door without proving we are carrying goodies. We should be writing memos in frosting! Our interoffice envelopes should be freezer bags!

I should walk into my office in the morning and find a waiting plate of breakfast cookies and then when I come back to my office from lunch there should be a nice desert plate waiting for me. The blame for this treat drought probably falls with the fact we no longer have a bullpen. There is no one place that everybody goes for everything. So no one has anywhere to go. The bullpen, while loud and exposed was always full of food. I also blame the increase in home-based workers the preponderance of dietitians who refuse to go home. Social Workers, RNS, are all about making you feel better. Dietitians want you to be better. I hate dietitians.

How are we supposed to get through Christmas without snacks at the office? We need them! How are we supposed to pace ourselves at holiday parties? I mean, by this point I should be able to be fairly strong when it comes to being faced with a holiday spread, but this year I am totally powerless. I would jump head first into a tray of cookies and I’m afraid if I ran across a plate of something frosted, well it might get ugly. The office cookie tray is supposed to toughen us up, make us strong, spoil us for other temptations. If you have spent all day grazing in the break-room you can be strong at a party that night. Now? I’m likely to end up wearing a bunt cake on my head.

There was an open house in personnel the other day and that did help a little, but it’s not like I had all day to forage. I had to get in and get out fast. I only had time to fill my very small plate and then I had to go back to the office. Home made candy requires a full day of being snacked on. You can’t appreciate it after only one or two or three pieces! It takes time, you have to be able to compare and contrast it at your leisure and then start on the other home made candies. What if the first kind isn't really good? Of course, it;'s good but what if there was a better? How would you know if you had nothing to compare it to? It could happen. Not all home made candy is made equally and it can be hard to tell if you don’t have a comparison. Here we are forced to eat store bought peppermints one at a time! I mean, It’s Christmas.

We are finally taking it into our own hands. If other people won’t bring in treats for us, we are going to bring in our own. Friday, we feast. On Frosting.

Best Line of the Night

She was un unwitting homeopathic drug mule

--Pushing Daisies

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Good for them!

This is how I would freeway blog
I need a nap

I come home after work. I’m tired and I don’t want to go to the park, I tell Dogger that I am tired and I don't want to go to the park and she looks at me like I hate her. We get ready to go to the park. I can't find her harness. She has two harness. One new and one old and I can't find either. Dogger doesn't go anywhere without her harness. I want to find at least one of them but every minute spent hunting means burning another minute of daylight. At this time of year daylight is extremely flammable.

We go to the park without the harness.

I see a crowd at Drama Dog's usual table but no Drama Dog. It's the smokers, one of whom, a Marine, has a new bumper sticker on her car that reads Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Democrat. I don't see any of the GOP hopefuls being good for the military at all. Huckabee doesn't even think the world is round so I don't see him spending a lot of money for new and improved war toys if he thinks they are going to fall off the edge of the world once they make it over the horizon. She makes a lot of noise about being a Marine and yet she isn't in a war zone and never has been. I'm always thinking I'd be respectful of your pro-war views had you actually been shot at and still held them, sweetie. She's a medic, she should be there or have been there or be on her way there. All hat no cattle. She told us about having to unwrap Toy's For Tots gifts every year because the threat of international terrorism. I told her that they have been asking for unwrapped toys for decades, and they did so to protect the children from the domestic terrorism of wrapped up phonebooks. She was not amused.


The Collies of Doom are there. It is very hard to keep a hand on Dogger without the harness. She and are are not enjoying ourselves. I decide to take her to a relatively unpopulated side of the park and she gets to gamble around a bit. She is happier. Part of me just wants to let her go but the Collies of Doom are there, and while we were standing around before everything was fine, Dogger was also on a leash. The Collies of Doom and Dogger share two things, resplendent beauty and short fuses. Dogger annoys them and they have low tolerance for being annoyed. The COD have a strict sniff/snarl policy in place.

Dogger does end up having a very good time playing chase with an Italian greyhound in a parka, its wearing a parka because it gets cold, which is understandable except it is 72 degrees outside. The dog is so slight that lightly stroking it almost raises bruises. I feel bad for it. Later, as we are leaving its people tell me he is a really a big dog because he has a huge personality.

I distribute more dog cookies and we go home. Dogger has no food! I wind up supplementing the dog food crumbs she did have left with a chicken breast and some left over rice. She looked at me with the doggy version of a really stricken expression on her face: Real chicken and rice? Is there something you aren't telling me? Am I dieing?

I made a note to myself to 1) Go buy dog food and 2) Occasionally give her real chicken when she isn't ill.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Mall Rat

I thought I was done with the cookies. I am not done with the cookies.

Dogger needs cookies, she knew what I was doing, she was watching what I was doing and she knew that she wasn’t getting any of them and she was unhappy. All she knew was that somewhere out there, other dogs were getting “her” cookies and she was not feeling the love.

And also, I forgot one of the dog people at work and then there is that girl I went to high school with and I’m pretty sure I mentioned dog cookies to her and that I would send her some. The good thing is that she I’m pretty sure is Hindu and her husband is Jewish, so I don’t need to worry about beating Santa to their tree, so perhaps they will get Happy New Year dog cookies instead. But the lady at work, her, I need to get to sooner rather than later. And Dogger is sad, and she does need her very own cookies. But this time, No More Stars. I am over star shapes. I’m going to make these all large bone shaped because the dogs are all large and large dogs need large cookies.

But tonight, tonight I am taking a break from baking and my plans are to wrap gifts. I want them wrapped, I need them wrapped, if they are wrapped they’ll be done and I can take another thing off the old to-do list. Is it too on point to wrap something in gift wrap that kind of comments on what it is wrapping? Say, I am wrapping a stuffed bear and I wrapped the stuffed bear in paper decorated with stuffed bear images, is that just too something? Because I have some great paper that would be so cool to wrap this one thing in but I won’t if that sort of thing is not done for whatever reason.

I could also be deeply over thinking the problem too, which I think is moot because I am making gift wrap into a “problem”.

I looked at my collected gifts and thinking what a good year it had been. I had been able to amass a lot of stuff while saving lots of money. Yay me, yay for my family. Well. I got to wrapping and it started to dawn on me, the women in my family had been very, very good girls this year while the men in my life apparently had been out killing nuns and drowning puppies.

I blame Alphagal and Tiny E and my Mom for being so easy to shop for. I can walk into a store and see eight things Alphagal needs right now, I can walk past a store and see a dozen things my Mom would love. Tiny E is 15 months old, she wants all the cute things, whether she knows yet or not.

Speaking of getting things off the to-do list. I mailed everything I had that needed to be mailed. It cost me $41 which is about three and half times what it cost me to make 360 cookies and buy the two photo frames that I had to mail. Six boxes shipped out of state $41, getting them all out of my life? Priceless.

You started on the second floor of a building that had two floors and a basement, you walk down one flight of steps and you are one the first floor. There is one more flight of stairs going down, where is the basement? Do you stop and ask where the basement is or do you just continue down? Gah.

It’s the oddest thing, since I relegated Dogger back to her bedroom and out of the rest of the decorated and not-at-all-Dogger-safe rest of the house, she seems happier. She seems happy to be able to use her crate again. I took her bed out of the office and put it in the living room so she could be out and I had been keeping the office door shut, you know so my office could function as an office and not as the dogs bedroom – for the first time in five years, and Dogger had her run of the rest of the house (more or less) and it turns out, she was happy in the office. She didn't want her freedom, she wanted her crate back.

Ex-NFL star Michael Vick sentenced to 23 months in prison for his role in a dogfighting conspiracy.

Where, if the media is to be trusted, he will learn a lot about doing things doggy style.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

To do and yet to do

Cards mailed Check
House decorated Check
House Clean Check
Tree Decorated Check
Dog Cookies competed, five varieties, Check
Dog Cookies bagged Check
Dog Cookies distributed Check
Gifts for distant family and friends wrapped Check
Gifts for distant family and friends packed for shipping Check
Doggers Christmas cards either packed or mailed to distant family and friends Check
Dog Cookies packed for shipping Check
Doggers’ Christmas cards distributed to co-workers
Gifts for co-workers Check
Cards for co-workers signed Check
Distribute gifts/cards to co-workers Check
Distribute Dog cookies to co-workers Check

And I took a moment to gaze at my beeyoteeful tree and visit with my poor, neglected little animals and catch my breath. And then I remembered:

To Do
Find where family gifts were stored for safe keeping three months ago
Remember which gift belongs to which family member
Wrap gifts for family
Remove tree decoration boxes from front entry and return to attic
Re-shelve decoration boxes in attic
Repair done for tree box
Return Santa’s workshop back into usable bedroom
Do Laundry
Cards for people at work, not co-workers
Bake Dog Cookies for people missed in first go-round
Rake yard again

I get one to-do list finished and find another one waiting in the wings. Here is a thought, who ever thought that Carol of the Bells would be good to play for the holidays? It’s the single most stressing piece of music I can hear this time of year and that includes the wretched Christmas Shoes.

As Proof:

The Christmas Shoes

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Bridge:I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

Repeat Chorus

Lyrics Cafe

Really, I swear to Gawd, it’s a real song. Now this one, not quite as, um, pop, or as radio friendly but...

Be we mery in this feste, In quo saluator natus est.
In Betheleem, that noble place,
As by prophesy sayd it was,
Of the vyrgyn Mary, full of grace,
Saluator mundi natus est.
Be we mery, &c. On chrystmas nyght an angel it tolde To the shephardes, kepyng theyr folde, That into Betheleem with bestes wolde,
Saluator mundi natus est.
Be we mery, &c. The shephardes were copassed ryght, About them was a great lyght, Drede ye nought, sayd the augell bryght,
Saluator mundi natus est.
Be we mery, &c. Beholde to you we brynge great ioy, For why, Jesus is borne this day (To vs) of Mary, that mylde may,
Saluator mundi natus est.

Traditonal Music.Com

Not the easiest to sing along with but better than a song about making sure a dieing woman has cute shoes to wear, because ya know that’s “What Christmas is all about".


Saturday, December 8, 2007



Friday, December 7, 2007

Friday Cat Blogging

Joy To The World


I just learned from REDACTED that the water to The New Bldg will be off until 2 PM. Apparently, the receptionist was supposed to make an all building page but I never heard it.

There is no water in the New building due to a water main break. Staff are working on it.

Really, nothing makes you thirsty or develop the need to go to the bathroom like being told there is no water and you can not go to the bathroom. I don’t use the elevators, but I know there were some people who took the news that they couldn’t use the elevators harder than when they were told they couldn’t use the toilets.

One of my co-workers brought in the first round of office gifts today. What is it about me that makes people think I like Butterfinger bars? I really, really don’t. They seem to be chocolate covered Doritos and I can’t see how that would be taste good. The candy did come in a nice mug though, although, I am afraid the pretty, shiny stars on it make it non-microwavable and this makes me sad. Co-worker does get credit for being organized and getting her gifts to the office in a timely manner. I’ll get mine in but it’s not going to be timely. My hope is that I don’t end up having to find Happy New Year wrapping paper.

My cards are mailed though, damn it.

It would also be nice if I would get the last of the dog treats made. I want to take Dogger to the park but that eat’s up valuable dog cookie baking time. I can treat my dog or I can make treats for dogs.

Something that makes me happy! It turns out that I don’t have too many Santa’s! I had this idea that I had too many and that I might be running out of space for them and that I might have to go on a Santa diet; But as it turns out, this was not the fact. It wasn’t until I had them all up that I realized that I don’t have too many and in fact I might not have enough, I have fewer than I thought I did. This means, I do not have to go on a Santa diet! I can continue to binge to my little hearts content! If you are going to collect Santa’s, you really need to collect Santa’s! Whole heartedly, with little regard to space issues. I thought I was going to have to start showing Santa taste or at least come Santa self control in my Santa pursuit but I don’t have to! I might however, try to stick to smallish Santa’s and perhaps, Santa’s a little less uniform in appearance. As much as I like the really big Santa’s, I may start concentrating on Santa’s that are a little less garden gnomish in appearance. Once your collection starts to look like a cattle call for a new Travel City commercial it’s time to broaden your Santa scope.

Happy Hanukkah !!!!!!!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

It's all about the twinkle lights

The good news is that the To-Do List is almost finished, the bad news is, "almost". So, until it is, Lets Play Fun With Christmas Carols.

Which carol is this?

Hint, the fromage, she is also a floor wax.

Moi, j'ai vu petite maman hier soir
En train d'embrasser le Père-Noël
Ils étaient sous le gui
Et me croyaient endormi
Mais sans en avoir l'air,
J'avais mes deux yeux entr'ouverts
Ah si papa était v'nu à passer
Je m'demande ce qu'il aurait pensé
Aurait-il trouvé naturel
Parce qu'il descend du ciel
Que maman embrasse le Père-Noël.
Moi, j'ai vu petite maman hier soir
En train d'embrasser le Père-Noël
J'ai bien cherché pourquoi
Et j'ai deviné, je crois
C'est parce qu'il m'avait apporté
De si beaux jouets
Aussi pour l'an prochain, j'ai bon espoir
Qu'il viendra encore à mon appel
Et de nouveau, je f'rai semblant
De dormir profondément
Si maman embrasse le Père-Noël.

While it's the Christmas "season", it is also the actual Hanukkah.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Big, Bigger, Biggest Dog

The bad news is that my burglar alarm went off. The good news is that I am the one that set it off. I came home, unlocked the door and punched in my code... and the alarm kept going off and off and off

And I’m going shit!shit!shit!shit! I have to make this stop! "Stop it! Stop it!". Oddly, the alarm does not respond to voice commands. Both my burglar alarms are bad dogs.

So the alarm is hooting and shrieking and I know the neighbors are just loving this. I would be. I love hear alarms go off, other people’s alarms are always music to me. While my alarm is telling everyone within a three mile radius that my perimeter has been breached, I’m waiting for the alarm people to challenge me. My alarm company does that. Make the alarm go off, don’t make it stop going off fast enough and the alarm people will challenge you. They have questions, you had better have answers. The right answers.

I couldn’t remember the right answers. Answers I had, the right answers, not so much. It has been years since this happened, “years” is a long time to have to remember stuff.

I went through Mother’s maiden name, childhood pet names, the name of the hospital I was born at, my social security number and then they gave me a hint. Finally. The hooting stopped. They told me what to do to make the shrieking stop and it did, for a minute. The second the walls stopped talking to me the hooting started again. This was going to make it very hard to get to the park in a timely manner.

Back to the keypad I went, and I found the culprit. A number was stuck. It got stuck when I punched in the code, so instead of the my digits, the alarm thought I had punched in something approaching the first hundred digests of pi. That made the alarm system very angry. You have to be very careful about what you say to Happy Fun Alarm System. It's like walking on egg shells around here. Yeah, no wonder it went off. Yeah, I could understand it now. Yup. That would do it.

And then Dogger and I went to the park and had such a good time! Our friend dogs were there and Drama was not. Dogger played and ran and got in a good game of tug with an even larger dog and I got to play with a nice mid-sized dog. My friend and I were admiring the dog, we thought it was a exceptionally happy dog. We asked how old the dog was, thinking maybe a year, two at the most, it turns out it's only four-months-old and all ready the size of a year old lab. We were floored. The guy told us it was a bloodhound cross. We asked if it was a bloodhound/Clydesdale cross.

We told his person that he was going to have a very, very, very large dog and that we hoped he had a big enough place and maybe he should look into a larger car or into a used troop transport. It was me and the person of a bigger dog than Dogger. We know from large dogs and I mean, this dog is going to be a large Clydesdale. It’ll be bigger than Dogger. I can only hope he forgets that Dogger tried to squish him because in a few months? It’s going to be a crime-fighting Clydesdale.

Hide your draft age boys and girls

U.S. report: Iran stopped nuclear weapons work in 2003

Bush: They are sitting on our oil! LaLaLaLa I can't hear you!!!
Whew, I didn't really have a chance to write and entry but...

I got my cards put together and addressed and stamped and ready to go, of course, once again the enveloples failed to seal and this year I didn't cheap out either, I spent retail! so I had to use two year old cancer society Christmas seals to make sure they stayed closed. I got my friend at works birthday card and gift taken care of and I chased The Kitty around so I could take

This Picture

...And that was about it. What's your favorite Christmas carol?

PS - Kitty still luffs me.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Just say no to feline baldness

Kitty Wigs

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Deck that! swab those

I started out the weekend with a to do list:

1. Put up the out door lights

Which means figuring out which box marked “Outdoor lights” actually contains the working outdoor lights as opposed to containing non-working outdoor lights that are being kept around because they and they alone use the same lights as the working strand - not all strands of lights are created equally and there doesn’t seem to be an industry standard for outdoor lights. They are all different and they do not work together. The strand that doesn’t work is almost more valuable to me then the strand that does work because I can use it for parts to keep the working strand working for another season.

And have you noticed that they almost never sell the same styles of outdoor lights one year to the next? I bought two sets of outdoor lights when I moved into the house and I really liked them, the problem being, I only have two sets and bulbs being bulbs, they break... and I have not found a single replacement bulb for the set and I have never seen the style sold since then. I’m probably going to have to go online at some point to find more of them. What I’m really waiting for is for the new LCD lights to come in more styles. Anyway, I got the lights up and my fab air blown snow globe up and my wreath. hung. Done

2. Rake the front yard.

I actually did this first. I had to deal with harassment from some guy walking down the street who I think may have wanted me to hire him to do the job for me. He claimed I was“Missing half the leaves”, which I noticed, but I also noticed that my tree is still full of leaves and any raking is a fools errand anyway. The more I raked up the more fell from the tree. By the end of the day, aside from the huge piles of leaves at the curb, you couldn’t tell I had done any raking at all. Done.

3. Bake more dog cookies.

I have fourteen dogs and counting on my dog cookie list this year!. So far I’ve made batches of: cheese, bacon, molasses and now I have one green batch and one red batch of milk flavored in slightly larger star shaped because am worried that I am not going to have enough cookies to go round and bigger cookies take up more space. You get more of the smaller cookies, but they are small and take up very little space in the bags. As God is my witness, I will make a batch of peanut butter, damn it... I might end up making an apple batch because I saw a box of apple and carrot cookies at a store and I thought that sounded good. Kind of, Dogger has rejected carrot cookies in the past, but maybe if I sweetened it with a touch of molasses?... traditional dog cookies, Done

4. Decorate the interior of the house.

Yeah. About that...

5. Do laundry

Well, does Sunday evening count?

6. Take Dogger to Petsmart for Santa picture

Must be done between eleven and four Saturday or Sunday. Now I want a Santa picture for The Kitty but think I’m going to have to think outside the box to get it done. Dog picture, Done

7. Prepare cards for mailing

Oh leave me alone!

8. Bring tree down from attic, set up and light.

You know, there are six other days in a week...

I have a deadline. I’m having Broskey and Alphagal and Tiny E over to the house this coming weekend to help me decorate the tree and I would like to have the house clean and decorated and ready to go prior to that. The tree can not be decorated if it is still in a box in the attic. Do you think my boss will buy it if I call in “busy”? I have cookies to bake, a house to clean and decorate, a tree to deal with, gifts to wrap and oh, yeah, tomorrow is one of my friends at works birthday lunch and I signed up to bring something for it.

Saturday, December 1, 2007


Friday, November 30, 2007

Friday Cat Blogging

Pride and Prejudice

Daisy had a very good day. She got to hang out with my Dad, ride in the car, go to work with me and meet everyone there, get told what a beautiful, calm doggy she is, ride in the car, go to the vet, get told what a beautiful, sweet, calm doggy she is, ride in the car, go to the pharmacy, ride in the car, go home eat dinner. She thinks she spent the day dreaming.

The vet put her on another OTC antihistamine, now we're trying out Tavist. The vet also suggested fish oil pills that when opened up, smell a lot like diaper rash ointment. She also gave me some spay to put on random itchy places that may pop up. And of course, they shaved her. You know how I can tell it's time to go to the vet again? Dogger's hair has grown back.

After we finished with Doggers issues we had Kitty issues. Kitty ate something that did not agree with Kitty and Kitty lost. I can pick up dog bombs without even thinking about it, the Kitty's dust box doesn't faze me, but cleaning up cat gak makes me nauseous. Maybe it has to do with frequency? Maybe I could teach the Kitty and Doggger to limit their gaking to the litter box? If an animal can be trained to use a litter box or to request to be taken outside, you would think the technology would exists to train them to gak in a box.

And then I went to my ACORN meeting. We had a very good speaker who I was absolutely 100% behind. He works with a group that feeds the homeless, runs AIDS and HIV clinics, gets kids out of gang life, sponsors after school activities and is involved with mentoring school kids and advocates in the courts and schools for kids. I thought Wow! What a guy! Boy howdy are they doing good work. We need more of him, and then he said "Don't call the cops" when I feel threatened by street scum. "Instead call me" . I was speechless.

It seems if I call the cops because I see the random scum doing something that I see as wrong or that makes me feel threatened, that if I call the cops, what I am doing is messing with my "cred" with the scum. They think that if I call the cops, I'm a bad guy. What I should do instead is talk to the scum, or call this roving gang intervention guy and have him discuss with the scum that maybe they need to move a long. He also said that increased police presence in the neighborhood was unsettling to the street scum. I think that would be the point of increased police presence in the neighborhood. To unsettle them. Yay for unsettled street scum! Go settle somewhere else.

I said to him, I'm supposed to go up to these scary, threatening guys and say Hi! My name is Diana and I'm the other white meat. I wish you would take your show elsewhere! Bye!. Bull Shit. The he said "Do you have someone in your community you could call?" and I said 911.

He said to call him. I said If I'm having an acute problem, if something very bad is happening right now and I want it stopped right now, I should call you? and not the police and he said "yes". Oh Hell No.

He wants us to see the scum as someones son, nephew, brother. I'll think of them as a son, brother or nephew the first time they think of me or anyone else as someones daughter, sister or niece. He also preached that many of the young men he speaks with want a way out, they want to go back to school... That many of the gang bangers he speaks with are homeless that there are drug dealers out there dealing every day just to support their Mothers... (direct quote)

He thinks we should just walk up to our neighborhood street scum and reason with them. He thinks we are all six foot four 240 pound former gang members. He can reason with them, the rest of us, have to call the police.

I also had no idea that there were no gangs before integration - but then he went on to blame the birth of gangs to The Black Panthers.

And then he said that the schools zero tolerance policy is breeding more trouble then it is solving, that the schools need to come up with new ways to deal with these kids, they need to be innovative and experimental, try to find ways to reaching these kids before their own draconian policies lose them forever - But that a lot of this needs to start with the parents and getting and keeping them involved. Did you know that the schools in my area have their PTA meetings during business hours? And he wanted us to lobby the schools to move the meetings back to the evening. And I was like Wow! What a guy! Boy howdy are they doing good work. We need more of him and then he started saying that all the community's problems started with integration and busing and this is all the fault of white teachers in the schools. I was speechless. Again.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Making a whole production of it

You remember when a couple of weeks or so ago I floated the idea of a dog park fundraiser? And the people at the park thought I was joking or those that didn't think I was joking thought that while cute it might be offensive?

Turns out it's not. Not at all. Not only not offensive but not even an original idea!

But we still talked about it. We were thinking of who would be cast in what role, knowing that the roles would have to be double or even triple cast - Not one person that Dogger would be in a leading role.

Even I felt that a more delicately proportioned dog would be a better choice for Mary, I mean, I'm not blind. Dogger is a bit generously sized to believably play a 15-year-old-girl. I'm not into dressing lamb as mutton, I'm into color blind but not lamb as mutton. I draw the line. It doesn't look right. And besides, there is an absolutely adorable little lab mix that would be perfect as Mary. Through a baby blanket over her head and she would own the role. And since most of the dogs at the park are fixed, there is no reason that Peyton the walker hound couldn't also play Mary or that Emma the boxer couldn't be Joseph. It would be more inclusive than color blind casting, it would be gender blind! Anybody could play anyone! it would be like a doggy version of I'm Not There! Only with 100% less pretension.

Even with that in mind, I still think Zeus the guide dog would do really well as Joseph and he would look cute with little Lulu/Mary. We have two very handsome Great Danes that would be great as two of the three wise men, I thought about the young St. Bernard would do well as the third. The rest of the players could be played by a rotating cast. It would make for more people in the audience as well as keeping the show fresh.

The one thing that bugged me though. We talked about which dogs would play which(lead) parts and no one mentioned Dogger! I mean, everybody wants their dogs to play Mary and Joseph and the rest of the above the title parts. There was one couple with a German Shepard who saw it playing Baby Jesus! I mean really! It's a small dog part or if failing to find the right small dog, a part for a large, swaddled flashlight, but really, it's not going to a 95 pound-er, no matter what a sweetheart it is: The Baby Jesus does not have fangs. We would be going for as much accuracy as possible with an all canine cast - If they wanted their Shepard to A Shepard? No Problem! It's about being true to the source material I mean if that couple could come across with a six week old Shepard, then we could talk Baby Jesus.

There are those that would kill for their dog to play Donkey and others that would give you money for their dog to have the chance to play "laying down camel" and you would be surprised at how much attention "2nd lamb" stirred up. The Boston terrier group got insulted and splintered off to set up their own scene in the small dog park after a Great Pyrenees person pointed out that he had never had a creche that included piglets .

And yet, I was the only one who saw Doggers star potential. They insisted on seeing her as a rather boisterous large dog with some anger management issues. They saw her playing her part more in the scene painting and costume sewing end of the production. Which is fine for me, but Dogger is a STAR! Dogger needs to be front and center! Dogger needs to be in the spot light! I see Dogger as The Angel! A glowing, beeyotiful figure!

In good part because Dogger has what the other dogs do not


Her Own Wings!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

If I needed another cat...

I would need this one.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Dog Parked.

Dogger is going back to the vet. Again . Fortunately, she managed to synchronize her need to go back to the vet with my bosses need to take a couple of days off. I could take her on a day the boss was in the office, but I prefer not having to ask permission first. It's much easier to tell the girl across the hall that I'm cutting out early. For me its about the asking not the telling. I have authority issues.

What I would really like to do is to go home at lunch and bring her back to work with me. I don’t think she would be terrific in my office for an extended period, but it’s cooler now, she could hang in the car. I think she would even like it. I could go out every once in a while to let her pee or bring her inside for a brief visit. It would be dog therapy for the office. I’ve been trying to talk the ASPCA volunteer to bring us in an assortment of puppies and kittens to play with, but thus far she has not been open to that idea.

I know the vet is going to put her back on antibiotics. I can feel it. The only good thing about the same old, same old is when they get the dosage wrong, I can tell. They had better not screw it up again. I really do not want to have to find another vet, I’ve been to now, three or four other vet practices in town and I don’t want to have to get used to another one. Besides, who else would let The Kitty main-line pred the way they do?

On the other hand,you would think that after noting that Dogger is in their exam rooms a lot that they might try to figure out what her problem was, what exactly she is allergic to. Is it environmental? Is it a food allergy? Is she just that neurotic? I don’t want to shell out for a huge amount of research into it, but maybe a little? Maybe a Google search? something , anything. I’m getting tired of it and I know Dogger is too.

On a another doggy topic... So far I have three varieties of dog cookies finished and I think it’s going to be one more and I’ll be done. I was going to to peanut butter last night but in a last minute-pull-from-behind victory, I made molasses instead. I let Dogger taste test and she approved. She really hates it when I make cookies for other dogs, she lays there and tries her damnedest to glower at me. She tries real hard. I know she’s going for deep disapproval, but she’s achieving constipated. She sees treats, she smells treats, she sees me make treats and yet, she isn’t getting any treats. Knowing that many of her dog friends are getting those treats does not comfort her. Dogs aren’t really into being altruistic about treats.

Dogger is not confused about how much she does not want to go outside. Outside, at least over the last couple of days, has been a windy, wet, cold place where she does not really want to spend time. She prefers the outside to be still, warm and dry, preferably free of mean birds, scary leaves, falling limbs, flying acorns, weaponized pecans , sneaky over head wires, mean spirited clouds and gossipy squirrels. She wants a the dog park in July.
Merry Christmas! Our profits are more important than your lives!

Citigroup shares hits 5-year low on report of 'massive' layoffs

NEW YORK (MarketWatch) -- Citigroup shares fell under $30 for the first time in five years at one point on Monday after CNBC reported the firm could lay off up to 45,000 staffers.

The expected layoffs are the result of several billion dollars of mortgage losses at Citigroup.The bank said Monday that it's in a planning process to become more efficient and cost effective as the financial-services giant grapples with billions of dollars in losses from the subprime mortgage-fueled credit crisis.

The process is designed to position Citi's businesses "in line with economic realities" and comes in anticipation of a new chief executive at the financial-services giant, spokesman Michael Hanretta said in a statement. Hanretta said that any reports on specific numbers "are not factual." See full story.
Cit shares are off roughly 28% in November alone, and down almost 50% so far this year.

CNBC reported early Monday that the bank is planning a large number of layoffs as part of a response to recent huge write-offs for bad mortgage investments. CNBC described the layoffs as "massive" and said they would not be restricted to the fixed income and mortgage divisions.
Drive By

I was trying to decide what I was going to do for lunch. I noticed this morning that The Kitty is running out of pred, and while it isn’t a now or never level of running-out-of-pred, it was certainly a better-sooner-than-later. I really didn’t want to go to Sam’s for lunch.

I need to be in a Sam’s Club place to go to Sam’s. I didn’t feel like I was in that place. I thought I was more in a Subway place. Then, I looked out the window and saw the fog. Stephen King is paying out a fortune to flog that movie. There had been fog when I came in to work but I was sure that given the several hours I had been there, that the fog would have burned off. It didn’t, it got heavier. As one of my co-workers said Hey, it’s London outside! I didn’t want to drive in the fog, I could just see the headlines Cliché killed in fog related accident while going to pick up her cats medication. I would be dead and embarrassed. If the massive head injuries didn’t kill me the embarrassment would. I would literally die from the embarrassment. “How did you get hurt? Well, I was driving through a deadly fog bank to get to my pharmacy get my cats prednisone that he really didn’t need until tomorrow, and that’s when it happened.”

I decided I was definitely in a Subway place. Subway is much closer to where I work and I would spend much less time in the fog and driving in the fog is never a fun thing, driving on the highway in the fog is an even less fun thing. I like having fun.

But. I am right in the middle of dog cookie making, which is also fun. I have made cheese and bacon and next on my list is either peanut butter or molasses. I have enough peanut butter on hand but I’m not sure I have enough molasses. I was thinking about this as I went to lunch. I could go out later tonight and pick up The Kitty’s pred and then go to the grocery for molasses, but that would cut into cookie baking time and I want to go to the park too, and if I did go out later it would be another gas eating trip out when I could get The Kitty’s pred and get the molasses at the same time. At Sam’s.

I drove past the Subway.

Obliviously, I made it there and back. It was foggy everywhere the highway wasn’t. That was good. I went to Sam’s and before I got the pred, I wandered around looking for molasses. I also had to think about did I really want that much Molasses? If I did find it, would really want a gallon of it? What is the shelf life of molasses? And do I want to commit to a long term relationship with a gallon of it? I all ready have a container of powered garlic I may have to mention in my will, do I really want to go steady with a gallon of molasses?

Fortunately, I was spared any more of this molasses quandary. I didn’t find any molasses, but maybe I was in the wrong section. I saw vats of BBQ sauce and tanks of pancake syrup, drums of ketchup, but no molasses. I got my pred and my lunch and went back to work.

Tonight, is going to be peanut butter cookies, I’m positive, or molasses, I’m pretty sure. I know for certain, I will be making cookies of some sort.

Monday, November 26, 2007

When in Saginaw, stay away from the fish

SAGINAW, Mich. - A find of dioxin at the bottom of the Saginaw River could be the highest level of such contamination ever discovered in the nation's rivers and lakes, according to a federal scientist involved in cleanup efforts downstream from a Dow Chemical Co. plant.

A crew testing the Saginaw and Tittabawassee rivers discovered the sample, which measured 1.6 million parts of dioxin per trillion of water, The Saginaw News and The Detroit News reported last week. That level is about 20 times higher than any other find recorded in the EPA archives

State guidelines require corrective action on contamination above 1,000 parts per trillion.

Dow is removing three dioxin concentrations along a six-mile stretch of the Tittabawassee. The company plans to remove the latest find, Dow spokesman John C. Musser said.

"We don't believe there's any imminent or significant human health or environmental threat," Musser said.

Full story, In China, Mr. Mussers counterpart would have then killed himself. Bad customer service, excellent customer relations.

Sunday, November 25, 2007


Wow. Is it over all ready? I think I could definitely use another four days off, and I think every week should be a three day week.

How was your Thanksgiving? You know it’s the day before thanksgiving when you go to the grocery at five thirty and the place is packed- It’s always packed at five thirty but not in a the-end-of-the-line-is-where?! way, and when you see that line you don’t just shrug and decide that maybe you don’t really need whatever you are there for all that much, but the night before Thanksgiving, you wade in anyway - and then later when you realize that the ingredients you stood in a forty - five minute line for, were for the wrong recipe and you now have to go back to the grocery again at 9pm and you do - and the lines are still there and are not in any way less then they were before, and they may actually be longer - you know it’s the day before Thanksgiving.

You also know it’s the night before Thanksgiving when you are busy making that pie and it is 10:30 at night and this does not seem at all odd to you.

What else? Post standing in line/pie making/ Dinner inhaling, I shopped. But not at 4am, because I have never wanted to buy anything so badly that I would buy it at 4am. The idea of subjecting myself to acres of florescent lighting at 4am is more than I want to imagine. Nice people aren't out shopping at 4am! Nice people are in their beds at 4am. Do you know who is out shopping at 4am? Johns and crazy people! Do you know who is open for business at 4am? Hookers and Wal-Mart. You shop at 4am because you are afraid "they" might see you.

I shopped at a reasonable hour and I ate. And then I shopped again and then I ate some more. And I watched some football and then I shopped and then I ate some more and then did some more shopping. I count shopping as exercise because shopping is walking I walked a lot and walking is exercise . And I ate healthy because I ate a lot of pie and the pies were healthy because they were made of healthy fruits and vegetable and fruits and vegetable are good for us.

I shopped patriotic too. Alphagal, My Mom and I were very patriotic - We shopped out of love for America's Economy. I bought for everyone at work, family, friends, Dogger, myself because who is more familiar with my likes, dislikes, who knows what I want more than me and I found time to fill up Minnie's tank up. I didn’t do this alone, I have two credit cards that may never walk again.

Oh, and I took pictures

Thursday, November 22, 2007


Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Aren’t ya glad you had to go to work this morning? Isn’t it nice getting into the office so fast? No traffic no congestion no lines. Of course, if you work at the airport your life must suck. I think just working nearish to an airport would suck today, but I suppose a smart guy could rent his parking spot out as Long Term parking.

I’m excited, I finally have at least one of my Christmas cards figured out... “One of?” you say “How many different cards are you going to send?”, and to that I say Well, it’s complicated., see I took all the Christmas decorations with me on vacation, not enough as it turned out, although at the time as I stood there along the road side in July or had to drag them with me through the wilderness, they seemed like a lot of baubles and balls and garland... Stand next to the road and decorate random fir trees and don’t feel like a weirdo - You can’t, you are weird. You are standing there in your shorts putting Christmas decorations on strangers tree in July. It wasn’t quite so bad out in the wilderness but then I was still lugging around a box in the middle of nowhere.

You know what would have been really cool though. If I had fully decorated the trees and then just left them like that. That would have been awesome. Can you imagine walking through the woods and encountering a fully decorated tree? Out in the middle of nowhere? Or you’re driving along the road and out of the corner of your eye you spot a Christmas tree? In July?! and then you’re somewhere else a while later and you see another one. That would be art.. I felt weird when people saw me doing it, it didn’t make me stop and in fact, I was really surprised that so few people actually asked me what I was doing. I was like Where have you been? IS everyone blind? Or do they assume there is something wrong with me?. One and I almost think the only person to catch me mid-deco was my cousin, who has so not been on my Christmas card list for years because she was a bitch this one time... I haven’t actually had her address in a long time, so it was kind of a silent boycott, but I knew I wasn’t sending her a card, even if she didn’t know. This year, she gets a card.

I just had this thought. What if you put one of those battery operated Rudolph noses on a road kill deer? That would be cool. A little cruel too, and I know that Reindeer and the local deer aren’t even kind of the same, but a dead deer with a red nose would certainly attract attention.

Lights Up:

Driver - Oh another roadkill. Why don’t they clean those up?

Passenger - Some places use them to feed the homeless.

Drive - Ew?

Time passes, miles pass. Maybe they make it a game of picking out what the remains once were.

Driver - Possum

Passenger - No, that was a beaver.

Driver- Too big, wrong color.

Passenger - Decay. It’s swollen up. It’s been there for a while. Gawd there is a lot of them out here. They need signs.

Driver - Oh, someones pet. I hate seeing that.

Passenger - Me too. Rudolph!

Driver - Bambi! Cinematic deer for $200 Alex!

Passenger - No! It had a red nose! OMG

And scene!

And then I also have this whole series of photos of my fake tree and those turned out very cool. So, yeah, I have a lot of designs. If you want a card from me, I bet I have a card for you.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


So what did you get at the book sale? I walked out of there wheeling a C-140. I bought everything from a 1944 penguin edition of The Maltese Falcon, emblazoned with: THIS IS A WAR TIME BOOK...IT IS PRODUCED IN FULL COMPLIANCE WITH THE GOVERNMENTS REGULATIONS FOR CONSERVING PAPER AND OTHER ESSENTIAL MATERIALS. On the back cover it suggests that the reader "Send this book to a boy in the armed forces anywhere in the U.S for only .3". I guess the boys in the armed forces overseas were too busy in ‘44 killing Nazis to be reading Dashiell Hammett, to A Southern Bell Primer or why Princess Margaret will never be a Kappa Kappa Gamma. Told ya, I bought e v e r y t h i n g.

I also picked up two other vintage paperbacks but they are post war I, The Jury, Mickey Spillane from 1952 and No Entry Manning Coles' circa 1958. It concerns itself with a “Brilliant intelligence agent, Tommy Hambleton, who goes to West Germany to rescue a wandering Oxford student who has vanished over the border into East Germany. Since he’s the son of the Foreign Minister it’s up to Tommy Hambleton to bring him back” . If nothing else, the pulpy cover art is worth the price of admission. I also got Silent Spring, which I think now, I may all ready own - it sits up with It Can’t Happen Here in my in my Too Scary/Angry Making to read section.

I also got some run-of-the-mill paper back thrillers by writers who probably started out wanting to be this generations Mickey Spillane and Dashiell Hammett or Manning Cross, but didn’t get there. Love ya Jonathan Kellerman, but Mickey Spillane you are not. And what happened to cover art? I saw lots of staircases and head lights and lawyer props, but no terrified Frauleins with Kalashnikov, no shadowy gun toting tough guys in fedoras and no steely half naked broads staring down shadowy, gun toting tough guys. Back then cover art meant something!

And where are the broads? I picked up It’s a girl thing - The Hilarious truth about women, Nora Ephron's’ I Feel Bad About My Neck, and other thoughts on being a woman, Lauren Weisberger's’ Everyone Worth Knowing, two Alexander McCall books from the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series, another Alexander McCall not part of the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series. Lots of girls, chicks, ladies and women but not a lot of broads. Pity.

I did get Jean Kerr's Please Don’t Eat The Daises from 1957, but I don’t think she would have felt a lot of sisterhood with the broads in Cole's pulpy ourve’, but fortunately for her, she also wouldn’t have a lot of common ground with Weisbergers’ chicks either.

I also want to mention that I took home some non-pulpy, non-vintage, and non-chick lit as well, I also carted home: The Dilbert Principle, and The Crack at the Edge of The World, The Great San Francisco Earthquake of 1906, and Peace Kills, by my favorite Republican P.J O’Rourke, and The Search for The Pink Headed Duck, a Journey Into The Himalayas and Down The Brahmaputra and Idyll Banter, Weekly Excursions to A Very Small Town. And that’s not even all of them!

I did some arithmetic, I brought home 25 titles, which should have ran me $348.97 retail (not even counting the time machine to get the vintage paperbacks), my bill? $42.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Monday Photo-blogging

This years version of fall color, after last years fireworks, this year is more like a series of loud pops.

Sunday, November 18, 2007


Saturday, November 17, 2007


Friday, November 16, 2007

Friday Feral Cat(s) Blogging


I was looking on Ebay at the Beanie babies. Yes, there are still Beanie babies out there. I was there looking for my friend's Christmas gift. Last summer she went on vacation and when she came back I had deposited all my happy meal stuffed dogs on her desk, climbing up her blinds and in her mail box. She was not entirely thrilled -She wanted to know where the cats were.

Sadly, the world of Happy Meal toys is a dog dominated field. I had lots and lots of bean bag dogs but only one bean bag cat and I’m pretty sure I had that one since before I left Dallas. I decided she was going to get cats for Christmas.

I had to think about the cat thing for a while. What kind? How big? How many? How much would I be willing to pay? Was I okay with used kitties? I decided that they should be bean bags, that they should be roughly the same size as the dogs so it was going to have to be bean bag cat product about the same size as the pre-existing happy meal pound puppies, I wanted of course, as many as I could get, I wanted to pay between “nothing” and "very little" and I was cool with used. The dogs had spent most of their lives living on the top of my refrigerator so a little dust wasn’t going to affect my over all opinion of the cats.

Ebay was calling.. at first I told them to hold on because I was talking to Amazon, but I told Amazon I was going through a tunnel and went back to Ebay and I took the plunge. I expected to be drowning in fuzzy , but instead I got some on my shoes and that was about it. I was surprised. I had thought Ebay would be covered in toy cats. Well. While there are toy cats to be had, it just isn’t as many as I would like. I was hoping for a larger selection and possibly a great number of sellers selling their stuffed cats in great numbers. So I could have lots of stuffed cats with out paying lots for them. That was the plan.

See, if I could get lots of the little buggers all in one shot, I could be done with this gift and be able to move on to another. In this case, "next" is a nurse themed gift. Preferably a Christmas ornament. Preferably cheap. Then I could start thinking about the one after that and the one after that. What do you get for an emotional unstable co-worker given to loud outbursts? I would like to get him medicated and restrained and working in someone else's office but I don’t think that's something I can get gift wrapped. Do you think I can find Christmas ornaments in the shape of tiny four point restraints? or I could go with a gift certificate for a six month prescription of Halidol, because that would be the gift that keeps on giving. To Me. A cheery Merry Christmas!-You-Wacko! would probably suffice but my riot gear is at the dry cleaners and I think any one-on-on time with him needs to be undertaken by trained professionals. Bless his heart.

Most fun thing I did at work today? Instructed a caller on how to get the coconut meat out of her coconut. We take complaints against health care providers, when she told me she needed kitchen help I told her to ask her doctor to give her the name of a home care agency, Oops!