Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I need a nap

I come home after work. I’m tired and I don’t want to go to the park, I tell Dogger that I am tired and I don't want to go to the park and she looks at me like I hate her. We get ready to go to the park. I can't find her harness. She has two harness. One new and one old and I can't find either. Dogger doesn't go anywhere without her harness. I want to find at least one of them but every minute spent hunting means burning another minute of daylight. At this time of year daylight is extremely flammable.

We go to the park without the harness.

I see a crowd at Drama Dog's usual table but no Drama Dog. It's the smokers, one of whom, a Marine, has a new bumper sticker on her car that reads Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Democrat. I don't see any of the GOP hopefuls being good for the military at all. Huckabee doesn't even think the world is round so I don't see him spending a lot of money for new and improved war toys if he thinks they are going to fall off the edge of the world once they make it over the horizon. She makes a lot of noise about being a Marine and yet she isn't in a war zone and never has been. I'm always thinking I'd be respectful of your pro-war views had you actually been shot at and still held them, sweetie. She's a medic, she should be there or have been there or be on her way there. All hat no cattle. She told us about having to unwrap Toy's For Tots gifts every year because the threat of international terrorism. I told her that they have been asking for unwrapped toys for decades, and they did so to protect the children from the domestic terrorism of wrapped up phonebooks. She was not amused.

Anyway.

The Collies of Doom are there. It is very hard to keep a hand on Dogger without the harness. She and are are not enjoying ourselves. I decide to take her to a relatively unpopulated side of the park and she gets to gamble around a bit. She is happier. Part of me just wants to let her go but the Collies of Doom are there, and while we were standing around before everything was fine, Dogger was also on a leash. The Collies of Doom and Dogger share two things, resplendent beauty and short fuses. Dogger annoys them and they have low tolerance for being annoyed. The COD have a strict sniff/snarl policy in place.

Dogger does end up having a very good time playing chase with an Italian greyhound in a parka, its wearing a parka because it gets cold, which is understandable except it is 72 degrees outside. The dog is so slight that lightly stroking it almost raises bruises. I feel bad for it. Later, as we are leaving its people tell me he is a really a big dog because he has a huge personality.

I distribute more dog cookies and we go home. Dogger has no food! I wind up supplementing the dog food crumbs she did have left with a chicken breast and some left over rice. She looked at me with the doggy version of a really stricken expression on her face: Real chicken and rice? Is there something you aren't telling me? Am I dieing?

I made a note to myself to 1) Go buy dog food and 2) Occasionally give her real chicken when she isn't ill.

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