Thursday, May 31, 2007
I saw the deer family again after work yesterday, I’m so dog minded that when I saw something large and buff colored moving out of the corner of my eye, my first thought was that someones dogs were out. It was only after Bambi froze that I realized they weren’t in fact, lose dogs. Great, big, loose dogs. Speaking of great big dogs, two great Danes chased Dogger away at the dog park last night, I was shocked that the Danes did that and I was also shocked that Doggger had the sense to turn tail and run when they told her to. Lou Dobbs loves Goats.
At work we were visited by a raccoon out in the parking lot. Two of the hysterics decided it must be rabid and were horrified when they learned they were not the first to spot Mr. Raccoon and that previous witnesses did not react in the same way. When I told them he lives under the generator they behaved like it was going to turn up under their desks! When I mentioned seeing the deer family they were aghast! That there were deer so close and that for sure they were going to give them lime disease, just reach out and get lime disease all over them. It’s the Lou Dobbs Hispanics=Leprosy argument. Did you know that Lou Dobbs contracted syphilis from an ongoing sexual affair with a goat? It’s true because I reported it, I said it so it must be true, it’s false, I know its false, but I said it. Just like Lou Dobbs does. Also, I never said Lou Dobbs had sex with a goat. It’s too bad its out there now, that Lou Dobbs has sex with goats, probably is right now but what can be done? I only said it for affect, like Lou does. Lou Dobbs has sex with goats.
With my reunion approaching like the speed of light (if you want to see time move on fast forward , arbitrarily decided you want to tighten up before some event) I have decided that I should start “eating better”, i.e I will eating fewer things that have the shelf life of insulation. I even bought some healthy snacks. I even ate some of the healthy snacks. I decided to take a really big step and bring some of the healthy snacks to work! I did bring them and I did eat Skittles for breakfast.
The carrots were right there though. And later on, I gnawed on a couple to kill time before I wanted to and go and get a soda. The good news is there is nothing at home to eat that is not baby carrots, pea pods and Healthy Choice microwave dinners. Did you know that apple sauce gets furry even if it lives it’s entire lifespan in the refrigerator? Lou loves the goats.
I had planned to whittle my lunches down to mere Happy Meals, to further my “eating better” regime. I walked into my McDonald's yesterday and the counter guy rang up my order before I had a chance to order. It’s was a nice bit of customer service, but it did not help my regime. I would have told the guy he jumped the gun but he seemed so pleased with himself for remembering my order that I couldn’t bring myself to take the wind out of his sails. The guy is a full time counter jockey, he has so few joys in life. If he can take pleasure from customer service, I’m not going to take that away from him.
Do you know what two great tastes that do not taste great together? Carrots and Envelope adhesive. Bleech.
Today in honor of “eating better” I on purpose left the coupon for free Burger King onion rings in my desk when I went for lunch. And even better, I drank bottled water this afternoon when I got thirsty instead of getting my 3pm soda – and I have a staff meeting today too, I am really feeling the burn now. No pain, no gain. Lou Dobbs luvs goats.
(The Good German is the good movie)
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
I was driving home from work and I was idly flipping through the radio stations and one of the stations that was not playing an ad, I was shocked of course, so I stopped and the station was playing a pleasant enough little ditty about some old boy talking in what passes for dirty on the radio these days to his gal, and it was okay enough. Bland. It fit right in to the cloying, red-state friendly, thoroughly right wing country radio of today. No mention of the flag or killing furners, so it could be worse, but perhaps it wasn’t over yet or I had tuned in late and missed that verse.
Every time you take a sip
in this smoky atmosphere
you press that bottle to your lips
and I wish I was your beer
and in the small there of your back
your jeans are playing peek a boo
I’d like to see the other half
of your butterfly tattoo
You know its Crazy but it’s all right-ish. I thought I’d heard it before. I wasn’t turning the station yet. And so the song rambled on:
hey that gives me an idea
lets get out of this bar
and drive out into the country
and find a place to park
cause I’d like to see you out in the moonlight
I’d like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers...
Oh Whatever. Blah, blah. Country-Lite. Somewhere Patsy Cline Is rolling in her grave. Hank Williams Sr., has been rolling in his grave for so long he’s now buried in China.
and I’d like to check you for ticks
I know the perfect little path
out in these woods I used to hunt
don't worry babe I’ve got your back
and I’ve also got your front
I’d hate to waste a night like this
I’ll keep you safe you wait and see
the only thing allowed to crawl all over you
when we get there is me
Did I hear “check you for ticks”? No, I must have just heard wrong.
cause I’d like to see you out in the moonlight
I’d like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and I’d like to check you for ticks oooh you never know where one might be
and oooh theres lots of places that are hard to reach
No, clearly, "Check you for ticks". Maybe it was an ad, maybe for Frontline or some other product, because it must be about some old boy and his dawg and it's kind of cleverish, in a wink, wink "It sounds like I'm talkin' about my girl, but I'm really talkin' about my dawg" way. Dogs do not commonly drink from beer bottles or have slutty peek-a-boo tats on their lower backs, but...
I’d like to see you out in the moonlight
I’d like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and I’d like to check you for ticks
oh I’d sure like to check you for ticks
Ticks. A song on the radio about some old boy checking his human girlfriend or some bar slut he would like for a girlfriend, at some point in the future, after he checked her for ticks. I assume after he checks her for ticks, he can take her home and she can become the Queen of his double wide trailer, and later, after she leaves him for good, he can go back to that bar and Bubba can shoot the jukebox.
lyrics from Smart Lyrics. Com
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
I'm going to need a few days off to recover from my few days off. All thyat relaxation is hard work... I went to the beach . I had a wonderful time. Work sucks ya'll, it is so not the same as sitting on the beach.
I got a new toy and you dog people out there need to get one too. My new toy is called a Shedding Blade
It works like charm! Dogger had very recently been brushed very thoroughly and was relieved of a lot of loose fur at that time. I casually went over her a few hours later with my new toy, you know just to see if she would tolerate my new toy, she did, yay! but you should have seen the hair this thing took off her. Piles of fur.
There was so much hair, it formed itself into a full grown chow! I am only barely kidding. In the future I use this tool outside - that much loose fur. I couldn't believe it! I had seen one being used at the dog park and it looked kind of interesting and it made me curious, but damn! these things work well. If you have a dog or even a very furry cat, you need this. I got mine cheap at Petco- shedding brushes can be very expensive , up to $14, but I got mine for $7 and it has a cushioned handle and everything. It is not adjustable, if that is an important function for you, but others are, just do a little shopping around first.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
For all three of us out there that were/are fans of Studio 60, it returns with new episdoes tonight at 9 central/ 10 eastern on you NBC affiliate.
Critics Assail Big Oil at Hearing
WASHINGTON (Dow Jones) -- Oil companies have grown too big and powerful, and it may be time for a new trust-buster in the mold of Teddy Roosevelt to break up the monopolies, Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., said Wednesday at a congressional hearing.
"America's families are getting a raw deal, while oil companies make out like the robber barons of Roosevelt's time," Schumer said, as he opened a hearing into the oil companies' market power at the congressional Joint Economic Committee.
Bush Threatens Veto of Gas Gouging Bill
The White House, in a formal statement of administration policy, said the legislation amounted to price controls that would hinder oil companies and retailers from responding to market signals, potentially worsening fuel shortages.
Crude, Fuel Inventories Rise
NEW YORK -(Dow Jones)- U.S. crude inventories unexpectedly increased last week, according to data released Wednesday by the the U.S. Department of Energy.
Crude oil stockpiles rose by 2 million barrels to 344.2 million barrels, compared with an average survey estimate of a 200,000-barrel draw.
Gasoline Up 12 Cents in Week to Record
WASHINGTON (Dow Jones) -- Gasoline prices in the mid-section of the United States surged last week, pushing average U.S. retail gasoline prices up by 12 cents to a record $3.26 a gallon last week, the Energy Department reported Monday.
In a perfect world Drama Dog’s people and I would work out a visitation schedule for the park. They could have the Friday and the weekends and say Monday and I’ll take T-W-TH. I think that would work out. Maybe we could share Fridays, because sometimes Fridays are good days at the park. Maybe on Fridays they could keep their dog to heel the whole time, instead of letting it wander at will - See how much they have fun that is. Welcome to my life, assholes.
And then also, the people we’re both friends with wouldn’t have to choose who to hang out with and I wouldn’t have to get my feelings hurt because they didn’t choose me, but most importantly, Dogger would be able to roam to her hearts content. Because the dog park is supposed to be about her enjoying herself and not really about me enjoying myself. Even though I am the one who drives us there.
Tuesday night, I thought enough time had passed that Drama Dog and Dogger could be around each other, Drama Dog
Okay. Moving on. Deep Cleansing Breaths. I am going to chill out on that and remember I’m going to the beach this weekend.
I bet you think I didn’t go to the District Convention. I did. I drove an hour up there and back I didn’t get lost. I did find that Sanford’s downtown was significantly larger than I had thought it would be though. I kept thinking I must have gone past the “historic red brick” court house. It wouldn’t be hard, as it turns out, much of downtown Sanford is made up of “historic red brick” structures, there was even a “historic red brick” car dealership. It would have been cool if it was still a car dealership, but somewhere a long the way they bricked in the display windows. The name of the dealership was still carved into the ... I want to call it the storefront but that isn’t the right word. Anyway, you could easily loose the historic red brick forest for the historic red brick trees. I finally found the court house and the convention went well. The keynote speaker rocked the house and I stayed rocked because I ducked out before the resolutions were read. I haven’t got time for the pain. I stuck around for that once time and decided that it fell into the never again file.
I read them though, and did you know that the Chatham County Democrats hate George W. Bush? Or at the least the folks who show up for their precinct meetings do. The other 9 counties in the district didn’t call for the “End of Mercenary Deployment” , Wake and two others asked for the “orderly redeployment and withdrawal from Iraq” . No others passed resolutions for impeachment. Chatham County passed six virulently anti-war/anti-Bush administration resolutions. Wake passed resolutions calling for the release of school bond funding and to oppose I-540 as a toll road.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
We had a winner in the “please beat me to death as I am so stridently annoying I must be killed” sweepstakes. We have a number of doors in the building where I work. I will do my stewardess impersonation for this - We have exits at the rear of both hallways as well as exits here and here and here and here.
We have a lot of doors. If one needed to flee from this building and did not? It would not be the building fault, the only problem might be that the flee-r could be over whelmed by the choice of possible exits and passed out from having to make a choice of so many possible options.
Not all the doors are created equally. Not all the doors come equipped with door bells – although most of them do have bell boxes. Strangers coming to the building never use the doors that do not have bells. How do they know? You can’t tell when you walk up to the door whether or not it has a bell, you really have to look and despite the fact that we have many doors, from the exterior of the building they aren’t really close to each other. We have one door that remains unlocked during the day and nobody uses it. The front door, the big entry door, right in the front of the building, the one that looks like you should use it, But no, when all else fails, when the bells go answered, they go bang on the sealed door that doesn’t even have a door knob and hasn’t been in use since the Eisenhower administration.
So. The sweepstakes had started. The bell is ringing away and since it is not sounding directly over my desk, I am not answering the door.
And it keeps ringing. I ignore it.
And it’s still ringing.
Ring! pause, RING! pause RING DAMN IT pause and by this time there are people in the hallways checking doors and trying to figure out where the ringing is coming from. We are not successful.
We could have gone down to the end of either long hallway and explored the possibilities that the ringee was not at the closest doors. We could have. We didn’t. I am sure however that we “looked” down the long hallways and failing to see someone standing directly in front of the doors, decided there was no one there.
Ring! pause, RING! pause RING DAMN IT pause
Now, if you were expecting a delivery of some sort. You had asked someone to bring you something and you were waiting for that something and you heard a door bell ringing, would you not think “I wonder if that could be my Thing I asked for and am expecting? Hmmm, could that be a possibility? did I tell them where my office was and which door was the closest to it, Hmmm? But more likely what I am waiting for will fall from the sky, through the ceiling onto my desk. Yes, that sounds probable.”
If you thought this way and you ignored the Ring! pause, RING! pause RING DAMN IT pause? You would be the winner of our “please beat me to death as I am so stridently annoying I must be killed” sweepstakes.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Can't live with it, can't live without it, can't kill it. Gasoline, it's too expensive and every cent we give them goes right into oil companies pockets. Call bull shit on "exploration", "political instability", "bad weather". The price of gasoline isn't dependent on anything except greed. The oil companies are just better dressed drug dealers and they have us right where they want us, jonesing and desperate for their product.
Stop the Price Gouging
AS we discussed yesterday, the Victorians were very into hidden meanings and codes. partly because they were utterly repressed and partly because they didn't have TV yet. The days were long, we communicated with each other by the way we held our fans. Directness was not a virtue.
The Victorians created a culture around death. Public mourning, elaborate funerals and huge monuments to the dead were all very popular at this time. If you wanted an enormous monument and they all did - all the better to display the piety and affluence of both the deceased and yourself - white marble was pretty but very soft and not at all weather resistant or you could go with a very hardy but also very hard to carve granite - available in expensive gray, very expensive pink and the most blingy of all, the black amex card of it's day, black granite .The Victorians didn't just have funnerals they staged events. Things got expensive.
So. Manufacturers started to create cheaper alternatives so that you didn't necessarily have to be be affluent to appear affluent. Not everyone could afford all this pomp, but because appearance was everything, cost conscience survivors could purchase a monument such as this one. What do you think this lovely stone appear to be made of?
Not made of stone, it is made of Zinc.
The woman who this remembers died in 1878, it has never had to be cleaned. These monuments don't rust, grow moss or wear down. This form of memorial didn't catch on and in some cases was banned - because many communities and cemeteries saw them as "cheap" . They fell out of favor as WWII began and the industry had to shift to the war effort.
Anyway. Modern Death.
We still die. But, instead of focusing on our deaths, today we prefer to focus on our lives - even in death.
Today's stones are smaller, more uniform and less elaborate. We prefer to spend our money differently, again, focusing more on the living - why spend thousands on a monument when there are grand children who need college funds? This is a huge change from the Victorians where the culture was much more focused on the foreverness of their deaths then on brief lives. Their stones say very little directly about the decedent and mosly quote a handful of mournful scriptures.
Today, we quote anything we want to. We quote ourselves, we quote our loved ones:
And the images and messages we chose can be anything we want
We all have to go, maybe not yet.
But some of us will have enjoyed ourselves more than others. Would you rather have your friends stand somberly around your grave and weep or would you prefer when they visit that they remember the good times?
The Victorians did it with more pomp but we do it with more pep.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Have you ever wandered through a cemetery and said to yourself "Damn. A hundred years ago everyone sure died young" , and yes if you read the markers a lot of children lived "4 years, 3 months and 11 days" , or they lived through childhood only to die in childbirth. Men lived long enough to be killed in war or by diptheira/yellow fever/cholera/TB/tetanus or influenza. It was a tough time.
I took a walking tour of the very lovely Oakwood Cemetery. It was established in 1867 and went on to serve the cities early notable movers and shakers after they stopped moving and shaking. The other cemetery, the city cemetery, was founded in 1799 and served mostly the less notable and their slaves - it is also noticeably less garden-style. Today Oakwood Cemetery (garden-style) is the permanent home for some 20,000. Jesse Helms will be buried there, John Edwards' son is.
On the tour we learned that the modern cemetery got it's start in 1804 in France. Prior to this cemeteries were located outside of town and were seen as unhealthy, scary places to go, as is illustrated by Raleigh's city cemetary. The Cemetery as a destination for the living came to this country in 1834 in Boston and to Raleigh in 1867.
Your average Victorian grave marker tells a story, in code, For example:
She is not flipping off her survivor's. She is pointing up to let us know that her soul has gone on to heaven. If this was a cleric's grave they would have used two fingers. The book is the bible.
Unlike today, the Victorians didn't do much personalization of the stones. They mention only the deceased faith in God and very little else. Christian imagery is everywhere in their stones. The cross is an image you see everywhere. The cross with five points to symbolize Christs wounds, there are also crosses with three points to symbolize the trinity.
Not all symbolism was strictly religious in tone, see the broken chain, symbolizing the death as breaking the family chain.
The childs hand pulling back the curtain is to illustrate the veil between the worlds, also draping was a sign of mourning. Note the roses. A bud was used to signify a baby, a slightly opened bud a small child and a rose in full bloom for an adult.
Ivy was used to symbolize fidelity or devotion
While two hands, one with a feminine sleeve and the other masculine was used to illustrate marriage. Often, two hands both masculine were used but to symbolize greeting God.
The stone with a drape over it was used to symbolize the families grief at home. Victorians often covered mirrors, photographs and portraits after a death the signify they were in mourning. Also, the coffins were kept at home and draped with blankets. The wealthy used expensive, heavily embellished blankets for this. The blanket pictured is one such drape. I think that the heavy blankets of flowers we cover the coffins with at burial is a version of this practice.
Not all symbols were figurative. Some were more literal, this child's grave features not only an empty cradle but also another Victorian funerary image, the empty chair.
I know this sounds like the most depressing thing ever and why on earth would I do it? Because it was fun. I like history, I'm a busy body and I like finding out other peoples stories. It was very informative and entertaining and I hope you this little tutorial. Tomorrow? Modern death.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
I’ve been tagged by Tiffany so here goes.
1. I believe that S is a real control freak and that it forces and T to come after it. It has nothing to do with alphabetical order and everything to do with the fact that S and T are in a abusive relationship. Oddly, I don’t think that M and N have this kind of relationship, I think they are friends. I remember that O comes before P because of OP shirts. When I have to alphabetize things I sing the Alphabet song to myself. I don’t buy that “I before E except after C” is always relevant. I also think that F should come later in the alphabet. I think that the letter W is the nicest letter in the alphabet. I did nothing and I do mean, nothing for five years except alphabetize. If you spent as much time with the alphabet as I did, you to would have given them there own little personalities and back stories too. It was just the 27 of us alone in a room . I also believe that this does not make me sound crazy.
2. I think that intentionally paying full price for a item when there are cheaper alternates available is probably a symptom of something you should seek treatment for. For example, if you are in the market for say, a kitchen hutch and you narrow it down to two identical hutches one is from Expensive Charlie’s and the other is from Cheap Joe’s and they are essentially the same hutch and you buy the Expensive Charles because it is the Expensive Charlie’s? That you are mentally ill and should seek help. I truly believe this.
3. I was very annoyed by the motorcycle tailgating me this morning. Even more annoyed than if it had been a car.
4. If I were in charge at TWoP it would be a better place.
5. My high school reunion is in a month and I am already stressing over what I am going to wear.
6. I am very superstitious.
7. I apologize out loud to bugs before I kill them.
I tag Jen to go next.
On May 18, 1980, the Mount St. Helens volcano in Washington state exploded, leaving 57 people dead or missing.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Big Oil attacked over record gas prices
Critics tell House panel that mismanagement, lack of competition are behind record prices; call for gas reserve, possible oil company breakup.
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Big Oil went on the defensive Wednesday, getting grilled before a House panel and denying accusations that mismanagement and a lack of competition are the reasons behind this spring's record gasoline prices.
But the American Petroleum Institute, an oil industry group, in an e-mail sent out prior to the hearing, said nearly 30 state or federal investigation over the past 30 years have failed to turn up any evidence of price fixing
Felmy said in a phone interview that whenever the industry tries to add refining capacity, it faces opposition from surrounding communities. Moreover, Felmy questioned why the industry would make expensive refining expansions when President Bush is calling for a 20 percent reduction in gasoline use by 2017. API also produced numbers showing the amount of gasoline being produced was increasing. "I think the refining industry is doing all it can," said Felmy.
Felmy said several other contingencies are contributing to the high gas prices. Those include higher crude prices since the start of the year, attributed to tensions with Iran and violence in Nigeria; a decline in gasoline imports because of a strike in Europe; strong demand in the United States and higher prices for ethanol, which is blended with gasoline to make it cleaner burning.
"We recognize that consumers are frustrated by these prices," said Felmy. "But price controls could make them worse."
It's easy out there for a pimp. Record Oil Company Profits
So how was your morning? If it was twenty after six and you were not on your hands and knees cleaning up dog urp, I don’t wanna hear about it.
It was a normal morning. I got up, took Dogger out, didn’t find the paper, fed Dogger, put Dogger out, still didn’t find the paper, pilled The Kitty, called about the paper, found the paper, read the paper, got ready to leave and then urp
Blech. Can I tell you blech. I was walking out the door and I had to turn around and channel Hazel. I didn’t even think Hazel would have been excited about digging out the vacuum cleaner, finding the carpet shampoo and then cleaning everything up, especially if she had been half way out the door when it happened. Was Hazel a live in or did she have her own place? Am I the only person under the age of sixty who knows who Hazel was? And Dennis Miller think’s he’s hard core! Has he ever referenced a short lived fifties sitcom - and did everyone have live in maids on those shows? I mean not just a lady who came in a couple hours a week, but a woman who lived in the house all the time and wore a uniform to boot? The Cleavers didn’t have a maid, does that mean they were poor? I hustled Dogger into the yard and dealt with the blech, . Question. Why is it that I can clean up dog bombs with out a second thought but blech makes me queasy? And why can Dogger always pick the light colored carpet to urp on? All she had to do was turn her head three degrees and she could have urped up on the dark green carpet, the dark green that you could change the oil of a car on and it wouldn’t stain - No she had to go for the light colored carpet. She always knows. While Dogger was outside I caught a glimpse of her grazing.
Someday when I am rich, I am going to fund some guy somewhere in some lab to develop a stain free dog food and if a stain free dog food is not feasible, a dog food that is light colored. In the future we should be able to buy dog food that co-ordinates with our furnishings and then maybe, they could also sell additives so you could make custom colors. It sounds gross but there are a whole lot of people out there that would buy it in a heat beat.
Anyway. I tore Dogger away from her grazing and deposited her in the bathroom. She was not impressed. I left her with water, a toy and a nice bed. It wasn’t her bed and she knew it. While I was setting up the toddler gate in the bathroom door she looked at me like I was the meanest dog mommy ever.
Sigh. I felt like the meanest dog mommy ever.
I came home for lunch and since there had been no fresh urpage, she could go back to her room. She went right for her bed. Later, I came home after work and gave her about half her normal dinner. I took her to the park but her little heart just wasn’t in it. I think her little doggy stomach hurts.
On to the other animal.
How do they know to smash only the things you actually care about? It was my fault. If I had really cared about it, I would have taken it out of the way - I was going to. I just didn’t. It had been sitting there for, days? I guess and only now he decides it has to go? Sigh. I’ve left countless water glasses around and those he gingerly tip toed around like a ballerina. Gah.
Onto a different thing.
I have been Netflixing the first season of Fame. Shut up. I liked it when it was on TV. Anyway. With the success of High School Musical, why haven’t they released the rest of it? It’s all about a musical high school, it sounds like a natural to me. It’s squeaky clean and about singing, dancing, mildly angst-y high school “kids”. It’s about marketing synergy. Do I have to come up with everything?
I remember when the world at large gave Beverly Hills 90120 grief because the “kids” were all old - well, the “kids” from Fame were really elderly, they made the BH actors look like, well, kids. I mean, if any of the Fame actors were under 25 the first season - Okay “Doris” could have passed for early 20s, but “Bruno” was 40. Pul-lease.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
My breaks were dehydrated. I had no idea. Someone made an anonymous complaint to The APS (automobile Protective Services) and they and their clip boards were very unhappy. Have you ever been clucked at in a disapproving manner by a guy in greasy overalls? It is not an uplifting experience. They gave me an action plan and told me if I didn’t make some changes that I may very well lose custody of Minnie.
They told me that my brakes were dehydrated and Minnie was going to die of thrist if I didn’t do something about it now.
I was like “I should go find some puddles and drive through them?”.
Readers Digest lies. Laughter is not the best medicine. Also? Breaks don’t drink water! There is something else in your car that drinks water but it is not the break system. It is another system or the battery or something else. I know you put water in something. But it is not the breaks. The breaks drink Break Fluid! But before you buy the break fluid you have to find the break fluid and before that you have to go into to a gas station - I know, how retro, right? Yeah, but you can still do that! And they sell more then just porn mags, lottery tickets and beer. As it turns out they also sell automatic transmission fluid and frosting. Together. On the same shelf.
Do not confuse the two.
And next to the peanut butter they sell Break Fluid!!! , but only one kind! If you go get your oil changed, there is like a thousand different kinds of oil! You can get oil in really cute vintage cans and oil that is totally specialized and oil in color coordinated containers so if you have a red car you can get the oil from the red container or if your car is yellow you can use the yellow container and you feel like you’re shopping! but if you are in the market for break fluid its just the one kind and the container is not cute. Gah.
And so I got the break fluid and I went home and I walked up to the front of the car all empowered and wearing a skirt so I felt all Grrrrl Power! and everything and then I tried to make the lid thing go up, the hood! and I couldn’t do it.
I was running my fingers all underneath the edge and not finding anything and I was getting really frustrated and my hands were getting all oily and the engine was all hot and I was not enjoying myself and not feeling all Grrrly anymore.
I was thinking of all the movies I’ve seen where the heros just casually raise the hood and all they have to do is touch it and it springs open. Bastards. And I’m standing there thinking How do they do that?, they get out of the car, usually they spring out of the car and they go to the front of the car and the hood just opens for them and then they wave their hands around and they tell the female lead to see if that worked and depending on where they are in the plot , the car either turns over “Purrs like a kitten” or the guy gets grabbed by the waiting serial killer and is never seen again or if it’s a post feminist picture, the car fails to turn over and the female leads swings out of the passenger seat and sighs at the guy who puts his hands up and walks away. The female lead waves her hands over the engine and then the car starts and they drive off with her at the wheel and him in the passenger seat.. I was not going to be able to wave my hands over the engine if I could not get to it.
Then I remember. There is a thing and to make the hood open you pull the thing and the hood pops open. Hazzah! Mission accomplished! Whooo! Que the aircraft carrier! Grrrl Power Ya’ll! Woo! ... Except. It doesn’t just magically pop open. It doesn’t even open. Hollywood lies like a rug.
But. I finally got it open and it only took not that much time to figure out how to keep it open - also made to appear much easier in the movies - but I gave Minnie her break fluid. She’s all hydrated now and hopefully she isn’t going to die of thrist. Starve to death maybe, $3.04 gas! But when she dies she will do so at a complete stop.
Look! Look! Dogger is Famous !!!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Don’t ya just love Tuesdays?
So close to Monday but not actually Monday and after you get though Tuesday, it’s all ready Wednesday and if you can endure Wednesday its Thursday and then all you have to do is bide your time until Friday and then bam its Saturday all ready.
My weekend is all ready booked. On Saturday if I so chose to accept my assignment, I have the much anticipated Second District Convention!!! Local politics at it’s very best.
According to the letter I received, from Brad Thompson, District Chairman of the 2nd Congressional District, Oh, you’ve heard of him! He’s been all over the 24 hour News channels - well, he was once on Channel 14! And they won’t just cover anything there was once a cat stuck up a tree in Harnett County and they only offered it minimal coverage. They are all about hard news. Okay, damn it, they’ll show up to cover the opening of a new box of cereal, it's 24 hour news, North Carolina-Style!.
But anyway. Actually, I read the letter in the first place because I thought it came from a different Brad, a more important Brad, for some reason I assumed the Democrat that was writing me to talk about the 2nd district convention was Brad Miller! Gawd! But that was dumb! Brad Miller represents the 13th congressional district, Bob Ethridge is my guy in the 2nd district! I should have known that! Okay, I’m kind of a geek because I did know that. It gets confusing as I sign many online petitions and get many “Dear-Constituent-I-Am-So-Interested-In-Hog-Waste-Pond-Disposal-Issues” letters from pols that aren't mine, I forget which pols are mine. I almost never sign petitions for Hog Waste Ponds, but just about every time I sign a petition I get a letter thanking me for my interest in Hog Waste. Since most of the petitions I sign are anti-war in nature, I kind of understand why Libby Dole sends me those. The Democrats, however, I expect more from. If you are going to shoot me out a form letter, at least send me the right form letter.
The Second District Convention on Saturday. I was a lot more excited about attending before I knew where I was going. The convention is at “The Historic Lee County Court House”. Okay, bully for them. The Lee County Court House is located in Sanford - as it turns out Sanford is an hour away! An Hour! Do you know how far away that is in $2.99 a gallon gas? $237! One way!
I was becoming significantly less excited.
But I read on The reason for this convention, Shockingly, not the free breakfast, not the 50/50 drawing or the cake sale, Is to continue our efforts to elect Democrats in the 2nd congressional district. We want to lead the state in the number of officials elected and the turn out percentage of Democratic Voters. The Path to 2008 begins today. Electing mayors, council members and school board members is extremely important to how government responds and serves our citizens.
Whatev. School Board? City Council? Gawd, I am bored all ready. Did I mention that Saturday is also Artsplosure, just a brisk, free, walk from my front door? Local politics is so dull.
But. City Council. My ugly little classmate and his designer sheet snuck in under the cover of a dull local election and now he has transformed my home town into an ugly little place. Now that they chased out the meskins, Who do you think Tim O’Hares merry band of bigots is going to notice next? Hmmm. Who else may not live up to their lofty standards of who can and can not live in Farmers Branch? They successfully stomped the Hispanics, there isn’t a large enough African American population..., who else could they hate? Hmmm. Who else do up to date right wingers hate? You can’t turn that off you know, once their hate has been validated,once they have felt the power of their hate, seen what it can do... the haters are all trained and ready to go, wanting to go... What are they going to do? They’re gonna pick another target. Tim better get married fast.
Monday, May 14, 2007
They have been telling us for years that we are going to move. For years we’ve been hearing “Oh, you need to start collecting boxes, you need to start clearing things out”.
And nothing ever happens. The deadline moves a month forward every time we get to the deadline.
Last summer we were supposed to move in July. I was not happy about this because I was supposed to be on vacation in July and there was no way the file room was going to move itself. And then they moved the deadline again, to August. We really thought it was going to be it - offices were cleaned out, unneeded furniture was sent to warehouses, years old paperwork was finally sent to the files. It was a heady time.
And of course we didn’t move.
There were rumors. They didn’t want to move in December because of the Holidays, they couldn’t move in January because of a flooding problem in the basement. We thought it was going to be February but others said they had heard April. April we said? You are out of your minds! That’s months away. And the we all were told April and then not April because of some problem with the elevators, And then May, and this time they sent us boxes! And we got excited!! And all we heard was “are you packed yet? Are you packed yet? Are you packed yet? Why haven’t you started packing? You need to start packing!
In the spirit of cooperation, I have boxed up much of my cube. I boxed it up with the idea that we were moving in May, the first week in May. I of course had the idea that it would be okay to pack up my things and I should have all ready done all this - because we were moving in a matter of weeks. So you know, chop, chop.
And now it’s going to be June. The end of June.
It would be sooner except the prison labor that moves us from point A to point B is over booked - but you know, it will definitely be June. Or July... It better be June because, again, I’m going on vacation in July.
Oh, and and on the Change is good theme, TPTB are going to change the name of our division so I can’t order any new letter head - also I will have to answer the phone differently. This is major.
We are changing our name so we get fewer calls from people who want to complain about their roofers or contractors or bug guys. They are very disappointed to learn when we talk about facilities we aren’t talking about theirs. I have always wondered why people calling to complain about their absentee drywall guys or cheating roofers are calling a division of The Department of Health and Human Services.
And also, we aren’t the Board of Labor or the right number to call if you got food poisoning and you want to nail the restaurant, we also do not licence your dogs.. I learned the other day that we are also not the number to call if sent your emotionally disturbed kid to a boarding “school” run by a couple of Bible School grads and time passes and you noticed that a steady diet of scriptures, chicken nuggets and corporal punishment, oddly, isn’t helping your kids emotional problems, Don’t call us, call the Department of Education. But after you pull your kid from said “school” and put your emotionally disturbed kid in a licenced mental health group home owned by a couple of Bible School drop outs and time passes and you notice that your emotionally disturbed kid still isn’t getting better with a steady, state licenced diet of scripture and chicken nuggets and corporal punishment - Then and only then should you call us - and BTW, "we" won't go investigate your complaint, the county DSS does it, so really, call them and not us. Thanks.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
U.S. commander in Iraq urges troops to fight fair
BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- America's top military commander in Iraq has sent a letter to troops challenging them to "occupy the moral high ground" after a Pentagon survey showed some service members were reluctant to report the "illegal actions" of fellow personnel.
You lie down with dogs you wake up with fleas.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Dear Mommy and Daddy,
Today my new friend the Big Dog and I went on a walk together!!
The Lady said we were going to The Park and I thought we were going to the Dog Park! and I was very excited! I love the dog park - that is where all the really good tennis balls are, you know, and I thought we were going to the park to play with the tennis balls and that also we were going on a walk to get there! YAy! a walk and the a trip to the park!!!. I hoped that the Big Dog was up to it.
But we didn't go to the Dog Park. We went to the park park! A People Park! But there were no people there. I was sad. I met many people going to the park but no people at the park. I was confused. Also, there wern't any tennis balls. How can I go to the park without any tennis balls? Doesn't everyone play with tennis balls?
I learned what people do at parks without any tennis balls.
But there were things I liked better.
I liked being tall. Tall is good! I was even taller than the Big Dog. I also thought that from way up here,I would see where are the tennis balls were staying.
I thought I found where the tennis balls live! it's round, it's yellow! But there wasn't ahy tennis balls at home. I think this is where they come from though.
And then we had to go home, but first we had to make a pit stop
And then on the way home, we got to go for another walk!! Awesome! first a walk to the park and then a walk from the park!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Dear Mommy and Daddy...
I was freaking out. I was all" Where are you? Where is Hawaii? and why am I not with you? I am very small and I know for a fact that I fit in Mommy's change purse. I should be with you", I was having some real issues.
For instance, Do you know what lives here? It doesn't want me to be here.
I was very freaked out, that cat weighs more than I do. It is very unsettling. But I found that a huge cat not the biggest thing that lives here. Did you know that not all dogs are very small? That there are some dogs that don't stop growing when they reach an adequate size? Some dogs just keep going. I was shocked, because look, seriously, this is me
and do you have any idea how big she is? Have we discussed how small I am? The cat that lives here is bigger than I am! I was seriously thinking about booking a change purse for Hawaii.
We talked. It turns out we have a lot in common. We both like naps! We are both into spontaneous naps! Both of us can nap at anytime! And we both love to chase tennis balls! And we both love taking walks! Can you imagine? its like we were separated at birth!
I think I'm going to be okay. In fact, I'm pretty sure.
Have a great time in Hawii, bring me back a coconut flavored tennis ball!, better yet, bring two.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
I had noticed that my purse had an autumnal vibe - which was why I bought it last autumn. It is now not autumn, it is now spring and carrying my purse while wearing sandals was a bit like wearing a parka to the beach - really, a great way to protect yourself from the suns harming rays but you can get the same protection with sunscreen. I needed to get the purse equivalent of sunscreen. Also, just looking at it was beginning to make me hot. I've been living without A/C at work for a month, I don't need my purse adding to my discomfort. I can't fix the buildings A/C but I could fix my purse.
Did you know that the sound of someone innocently rinsing out a cooler can sound eerily like the sound of screaming? I just thought I heard someone screaming and I poked my head out the door to see who was screaming and if I should, say, be hiding under my bed. The next time I hear the drug dealers' sister out in her front yard screaming, I will go to a happy place, where she is really just hosing out a cooler.
My purse. A heavy pleather jacket when a tee shirt would suffice.
I had been thinking about it idly. I looked at Target, I checked out DSW, but nothing was following me out of the store. I was waiting for a sign - you know the sign, The sky opens up the angels sing and there glittering in a shaft of light is the One True Purse or sling backs or navy blue slacks. I was waiting to hear the angels or at least The Shirelles and I wasn't hearing anything.
And then. I went to Mass and there in a shaft of light was The Purse. Okay, it was hanging on the fence but I heard angels singing and I was at the noon Mass and gawd knows, the angels don't sing at that Mass and yet, I heard angels... I got The Purse and I helped fund the digging of wells for Indians in Mexico. Yay.
...And then I went home and unpacked the parka into the tee shirt and the Angels were still singing and everything was wonderful and then the Angels started to whistle and check their nails and I noticed that the tee shirt was kind of full and the parka was also still kind of full and maybe what I heard singing before was not angels but the Episcipalians across the street.
But. I had the tee shirt and I could learn to travel lighter.
Have I mentioned that my family has a long history of traveling like the Beverly Hillbillies? I can not travel light. I removed one pen and I was getting the shakes, I removed the lip gloss I carry but never use and I became short of breath, I took out the paperback that lives in my purse I became faint. If I forced myself to travel much lighter I would most likely not survive it. Clearly, I was going to need a bigger purse.
So. I hit Ebay.
I found a purse. Did you know that there are purse brands? I've been a girl for a long time and somehow this escaped me. I was raised label unconscious, actually I was raised to believe that if it was important to you possess a brand named item it meant you were pathetic and sad and simply NOKD. Our kind of people also wore polo shirts but instead of little polo players on our shirts, ours were adorned with polo ponies. My parents taught me that labels were for losers and for other people whose parents really didn't love them.
I found a really cute purse.
It's a Coach Bag. La te Da. Which means that when I put a $10 bid on it and thought I had any chance in hell of it going cheap, I was fooling myself (it ultimately went for over $100). In my world an expensive purse is like $35 and for that much it damn well better be able carry everything you need and answer the door while it's at it.
But. There is an interesting world out there called "Designer Knock Off". A world I was also not familiar with because one must be know what designer is being knocked off to really appreciate the knock off. I learned quickly.
I found another bag. This one had a really great personality.
And I got for $5. My pony doesn't have a rider but as they say it's close enough for government work. $5!!
Monday, May 7, 2007
At work last week:
Co-worker - Diana! Look out your window! Look at that bird
Me - I'm Busy! Let me finish this one thing!
Co-worker - Diana! Look at that bird! What is it?
And I'm sitting there typing my last letter of the day and I'm thinking, what kind of bird can this be? Am I going to be looking at a flamingo? a bald eagle? an emu? What could be freaking the other girl out like this. She was ready to stroke out about this exotic bird.
I finish what I am doing and I pull the blind down to see this amazing bird and walking across the yard are three Canada geese.
Co-worker - Diana! What are those?
Me - Canada Geese.
Co-worker - You know what they are? You've seen them before?
Me - Yesss. They are everywhere.
Co-worker - Where do they come from?
Me - Canada.
Co-worker - Why are they here?
Me - They're lazy. Flying is hard, stopping and eating is easy. They stop places and end up staying.
Co-worker - What are they doing out there?!
Me - Eating.
Co-worker - Like bugs and worms?
Me - I would imagine.
Co-worker - And there are a lot of them around?
Me - Campus? Some. I've seen them here and there. They can be a real problem, they eat everything and they leave their droppings all over.
Co-worker - Are they mean like regular geese?
Me - I don't think they are going to mug you on your way to your car.
Co-worker - So they aren't mean like regular geese?
Me - I think they pretty much concentrate on eating. I don't think I have ever heard of them attacking anyone, but try not to carry geese chow with you. Who knows, it could get ugly.
I think about mentioning their effects on golf courses but I would be forced to revel I grew up golf course adjacent and I am trying to keep that to myself.
In the month that we have been with out A/C at work we have learned ways to keep the temperature down inside. One of these is to turn the over head lights off. Last week the guy who replaces light bulbs came into the office, registered the lights were off and said "Oh. I can't fix all of these! Oh, nah uh, y'all should have said something about this!". We would have laughed harder, but it was really hot, and we were running low on Popsicles. A few days later a guy came to service the candy machines and he too noticed the lights were off. He walked right past his humming, lit up machine and asked us "Is ya'lls power off? Why is it so hot in here?".
The A/C was supposed to be working by Friday, but it rained, so they couldn't work on it.
Saturday was raining and ugly, but Sunday was beautiful. Dogger and I walked around Boylan Heights, across from Dix and it was lovely, I did think it was a little down market from Oakwood as historical nabs go, until I found a place for sale - $310,000 for three bedrooms, 1 bath, STREET PARKING, 416 square feet smaller than my place and I'm not next door to Central Prison or across from the loony bin. It's still as nice place to wander around though. Dogger and I then went and walked around Dix for a while too. A good time was had by all.
On May 7, 1945, Germany signed an unconditional surrender at Allied headquarters in Rheims, France, to take effect the following day, ending the European conflict of World War II
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Friday, May 4, 2007
This is the first time in days I haven’t been hot at work. I’m not as cool as I am supposed to be, damn you weathermen – if it was really 72 degrees out side it wouldn’t be 78 in here. Bastards.
I even dressed for the weather. I wore pants! And stockings and shoes! Hard shoes. I’ve been wearing sandals for weeks and now. I really am not loving the sensation of all these extra layers and confining nature - it’s not that anything is is expessally tight, it’s just there and it bugs me now. I didn’t love having to shave all the time but I could learn to love it if it meant not wearing stockings. I also think I’m getting a blister, something my new sandals didn’t feel it necessary to do to me. I think my shoes are just getting even with me for having to live under the bed all this time while the new kids got to go out on “adventures”. Now I’m sitting here thinking how nice it would be to not be wearing shoes, and I’m trapped in shoes and stocking hell. It’s going to suck to go home and put on socks and shoes again to go to the park. I would wear sandals there, but it’s not a good idea. I’ve been there and done that and hanging out at the dog park is really kind of a shoes and socks required situation.
Minnie Kitty returned to the Mothership, she was elated, I didn’t notice until after she left that she had been scratching little Xs into the bed frame to mark off time. I had no idea she had a concept of time or had watched that many prison movies. Kitty celebrated by spending the evening draped over me. This was cute while I was watching TV but less fun when I tried to take a shower. He didn’t enjoy the dog park at all.
What neither cat knows is that Minnie is going to back for a return engagement in about a week.
Some of the other dog people at the park and I were talking last week and of them noted that the more comfortable it is for us out side the less comfortable it is for the dogs. All winter they ran around with abandon while we huddled in the cold and suffered. Now that it is warm, they do a couple of wind sprints and then spend the rest of the time lying in the dirt panting. One dog came up to one of the water bucks after doing his sprints and I swear to God, sighed deeply, and fell face first into the bucket. He just lay down with his paws around it and slurped away. He would drink for a while and lift his head up as to say Whew! and then face plant back into the bucket. He did this for a while and then he got up and wandered away.
The bigger dogs, sans Digger, spend their time cavorting in a baby pool. It’s real fun to watch them from a distance, walk up to the chairs where people are seated near the baby pool, and then shake all over them. Double points when they get showered by one of the long haired big dogs.
Someone commented to one of the baby pool regulars “dad’s that he should get his dog his own baby pool. He said his has his own baby pool but he doesn’t like it because he associates it with baths. The yellow labs treat the baby pool like their own personal bird bath. It beats the hell out of their previous water sport of digging in the water buckets until they either emptied the bucket or tipped it over. Everyone likes the water until it turns into mud.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
White House threatens to veto hate crimes law
Won't stop the war, not interested in stopping hate crimes... George Bush is all about basking in hate.
WASHINGTON - Just hours after the White House issued a veto threat Thursday, the House voted to add gender and sexual orientation to the categories covered by federal hate crimes law.
The House legislation, passed 237-180, also makes it easier for federal law enforcement to take part in or assist local prosecutions involving bias-motivated attacks. Similar legislation is also moving through the Senate, setting the stage for another veto showdown with President Bush.
The Judiciary Committee cited FBI figures that there have been more than 113,000 hate crimes since 1991, including 7,163 in 1995. It said that racially motivated bias accounted for 55 percent of those incidents, religious bias for 17 percent, sexual orientation bias for 14 percent and ethnicity bias for 14 percent.
But Dr. James C. Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, warned that the true intent of the bill was “to muzzle people of faith who dare to express their moral and biblical concerns about homosexuality.” If you read the Bible in a certain way, he told his broadcast listeners, “you may be guilty of committing a ’thought crime.”’
It's funny. They use Animal Farm like a how to manual and all of a sudden they get all precious about "thought crimes", the very people who invented "thought crimes".
"A certain way", could that be the way that certain extreme clerics misread and misrepresent the bible? These jack asses don't need hate crime legislation, they need to spend some time with The Jesuits.
It’s so hoooooottttttt. And not in a skeevy Paris Hilton “hott” way either. I did have a conversation with a co-worker about the importance of “washing out your under drawers” in heat like this. I can’t tell you how much I did not want to think about this person washing out her anything much less her “drawers”. Ew. I especially didn’t want to hear about this at seven in the morning. I thought this was suited much more for a twenty after nine conversation or even better a quarter after never. I do not know this woman well enough to have conversations with her in which we discuss her underwear laundering schedule. I was like Yes. When it’s hot like this, you really should change your underwear. I, of course, only schedule my under wear changing and washing for months with R’s in them, but you do what feel the most comfortable with. Gah. I liked it better when our conversations were limited to saying Good Morning every day. But we can't go back now, not after discussing her underwear. I love my job.
If its not underwear with these people it’s hot flashes and their cycles and their daughters cycles and bras and don’t even get me started on the “It’s so hot I want to take my bra off” conversation that becomes the “Oh, nobody would notice!” or the “Oh Don’t do that! Keep those girls locked up! We might get another memo!! It might mean a change in the dress code!” or the ever popular “Oh here comes So and So, she’s got her B-52s on today!! and then explaining what B-52s are and arguing over whether they were jets or prop planes and what they have to do with bras or So and So’s appearance because So and So doesn’t know what they mean. I don’t want to know any of this. I would love to introduce them to THO - I’ve never heard them mention it, but I’m sure they would just love to obsess over it - there own, other peoples, great THO episodes from the past. They may never get any work done again.
When I walk in the morning the building is a sauna. We can’t leave the windows open all night or prop the doors open, so the building early in the morning is just awful. You walk in and walk face first into a huge wet towel and then that huge wet towel follows you around all day.
Today was really bad. I had my first Popsicle at 7:20am.
Did you know that nobody likes pineapple flavored Popsicle's? No one. It gets down to the pineapple Popsicles and people start sucking on ice cubes. I knew I didn’t like them and have the freezer full of year old pineapple Popsicles to prove it but I had no idea they were universally reviled.
Relief is in sight though. The weather people and the National Weather Service both promise it will be cooler over the next few days. They don’t agree on how much - the local guys predicting a return to the ice age, while the NWS went with a more conservative forecast of highs in the 70s. The A/C people at work are also promising to have the new chiller up and running by the end of the week, so instead of inside temperatures hovering in the low eighties, we should be expecting the chiller to have the inside of the building down around it’s usual 62 degrees by Friday morning. Right in time for the ice age.
Did you go to your anti-veto rally? I did, I was late, who scheduled this thing for 4pm?! and I forgot my camera, but I was there. Were you?
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
President Bush vetoes a war spending bill which includes a timetable for withdrawing troops from Iraq, the White House announces.
If you were surprised by this, I have some ocean front property in Arizona I would like to show you.
If you were expecting this,here is something you can do, you most likely have all ready recieved emails about this, here it is again. It's a sign, it means you should do this. You wanted to do it the last time but you wussed out at the last minute or something came up. This time, make it. Shrub doesn't care, but the people driving past the group will. The more people there, the more people register in the mids of the public as being againts the war. Even if only fifty people show up, it's fifty people standing there at the corner or where ever being againts the war. Not in Washing ton, not far away, but in their town, right there, Fifty people, people who could live next door to them, work with them - It's an important difference. It's not thousands of anti-war strangers, its' anti-war folks in from their town, being anti-war in their town .
You know we are everywhere, I know we are everywhere, everyone else has no idea or think it's just other people in other places. Let the people know it isn't just dirty hippies and Sean Penn againts the war.
Don’t limit your bitching to your friends - that is chicken shit. Take your friends and go bitch about it with people you don’t know. Go, bitch in public. If you are going to talk the talk, you eventually need to walk the walk. This is the one in Raleigh, there are others in the triangle area as well. Go here to find one in your community.
When - May 2 - 4:00 PM
Address: Moore Square, downtown Raleigh (Blount and Hargett)
Location: Raleigh, NC 27601
Host: Robert Thurston-Lighty
Status: Public, open for RSVP
You aren't too old, too "straight" too geeky, too shy, too Republican or too scared to do this. You can do it. It'll be over fast and afterward you can say you did it, you went to a protest. It doesn't make you a protestor, it makes you a patriot.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!!!
I have or had, approximately 189 of those pint sized 100 page photo albums. Really, I could build a fort. I decided that it would be easier to do something about them , then to actually clean the house – or I could just open a dust bunny petting zoo! My idea is to pack the little beasties up and cart them to Japan, once there I would just tell them that the dust bunnies were a new dwarf rabbit breed that sleeps a lot.
It could work, there are people who bought lambs because they were told they were poodles, really Thousands of Japanese conned into thinking lambs are poodles - I think I have a shot, and who can blame them, who among us have not seen a lamb and not said “OMG! It’s the cutest thing I ever saw ever! It’s so cute! I want one!!, of course, you knew it was a cute little lamby that would at some point morph into a less cute, big sheepy, but I mean, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, I mean once bitten twice shy and everything, but I think as long as I don’t market directly to the people who bought the sheep, I might be okay.
Thousands … Sheep for Poodles, talk about being “fleeced”.
Okay, back to my photo album house keeping and away from how I could take advantage of other people. I had been thinking about doing something with the photo albums that were cluttering up my bookcase and threatening to take over my living room, but hadn’t really done anything concrete about it. I just kept adding to the stacks. I was holding out for the day I would reconfigure the bookcase where the stacks lived, move some things around, get rid of things – And I decided , that wasn’t going to happen. I also thought getting a book case cozy to make the whole problem go away – Hey, I have done it before and it worked, I totally forgot I even had 10,00 tacky video tapes.
But, I needed to grow, move on past simply covering up the problem, I needed to fix the problem.
I was a Poverty Barn and I saw my solution. two hounded page photo albums!, four of them, identical! I would have been happier if they could have been, say, black or brown - you know, a more professional looking album, and then I said “Why, What am I going to do “professionally” with these?” I decided that while they were loud as hell, and modeled after T-Shirts they were uniform and they were the right sized and shape, and they were cheap, and that should be enough.
It would have been really wonderful if there had been more of them, say four or five more of them but I figured (incorrectly) that if I went at some point in my travels, to a different Poverty Barn, that I might find the same product.
I came home, pulled out the albums and decided to actually put some mind to how plan this new organization. I decided to go by theme since at no point in the past has it ever occurred to me to date any of the albums – that I should just arrange the albums by theme. I chose “Marquette” as my first set and did them as chronologically as I could. I also forced myself to not cull, even if I really didn’t like the picture, even if it seemed to be of nothing, and a few were. Such was life before digital. I also re-discovered the non-joy of double prints. Gah.
It took a long time and two different sessions of sitting there going back and forth and I did discover that while the new albums are indeed cool, and a great space saver - they favor horizontal pictures and I clearly do not. But. I also decided that these are being used for long term storage and not as a means of display, so it doesn’t matter. I say these through gritted teeth because it matters to me, but, now at least my Marquette pictures are all together, arranged chronologically and the book case looks nicer, which was what I wanted in the first place.