Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I kept up my pursuit of the  chaise by dipping a toe into Craigslist. Overstock. Com did not have the selection that I had hoped. I decided that CL was an option when I looked at the prices and saw that if I only had to fork over $100 for the piece that I could afford to have it recovered to make it suit. I mean I could still end up paying  big dollars for it but at least it would be exactly what I want and isn't that why we pay the big bucks for custom anyway? Besides buying used is much better for the world at large than buying yet another new thing.

I still cling to a fantasy if finding the perfect chaise and having it be part of some sort of dream living room set that is in the right color the right style and the right size  and getting rid of everything in my living room and starting fresh-  all for $400. New.

Speaking of size and style. When did "contemporary and modern" start to mean "As seen on Miami Vice? I walked through to several different showrooms (completely unmolested by salesmen) and they were all  full of enormous pieces of furniture shaped like gigantic upholstered pancreas's! (pancrei?) So Miami Vice, I mean it may be because its a bastardization of the  same style they were ripping off twenty years ago on the show but everything was just sooo round. Good thing I didn't like anything because no one would have wanted the sale anyway. I was practically invisible everywhere I went. I think its because the furniture was all too big for me.

The same thing happened to me at both Lowes and Home Depot when I was buying appliances. I was there with my checkbook in hand and I had to beg a clerk to sell me something. I should have brought a penis to the showrooms, it might have gotten attention. There is a handy dandy Adam and Eve right down the street. I could bring in at least a pseudo penis and see how long it took for someone to wait on me. I'll just wag my penis around and wait for someone to ask if they could help me find what I'm looking for. No asshole. I think I just want to walk around your 10,000 square foot showroom with my penis.Without your help. I did it the other day with just my vagina and you ignored me just fine.

Everything I saw was designed for our 6500 square foot mini mansions and our equally huge asses. I saw a story online about how furniture designers are designing chairs larger to better suite our increasing size of our asses - Well, they are! And from what I can tell, the average buyer of new furniture is a huge, gigantic fat person living in a huge gigantic fat house. I mean really! I saw chairs that you could back an aircraft carrier up to. Tacky, tacky, tacky. If you're that big you don't need a chair you need a stall.

And woe to you trying to furnish something more modest - I saw some smaller pieces at the cheap joe's place I went to earlier but if you actually had money to spend and taste you would have to learn to embrace minimalism because the places I went to did not think small, even the kids furniture had roid rage.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Garden 2010 Update 4

Furniture shopping is  soul sucking and not even remotely fun. You would think shopping for a big ticket item would be by definition at the very least fun but it is not and I can't get waited on! WTF!. So soul sucking not even remotely fun and bad for my self esteem. I have however decided that I want a chaise lounge.  So, soul sucking and esteem destroying and not fun but not a complete waste of time.

Onto what is fun.

Yay for the baby garden. Progress had been made!

Clearly, I need to move some of these guys to bigger pots, that's my project for the week. Chaise shopping and bean re-planting.

I'm excited about these because I was starting to worry if they were going to sprout at all. I don't know what they are but they seem a lot more hardy that the other flowers, which have shown no change in condition. They are still there but they aren't developing further, it may be time for some large scale thinning.

My other sprouty flowers are doing very well and hopefully I'll have a couple of lovely flower pots at the very least.

This coming weekend I move my attention from the baby garden to the Big Garden. I'm going to get nice dirt from the city, spread more Wally World manure, turn the garden again, get my hoses out and lay down franken hose.  It's going to be a busy weekend. Hopefully.

Monday, March 29, 2010


I gave my self a very ambitious to-do list for the weekend.

- The kitchen is filthy
- The"club chair"   will not buy itself
-The upstairs bathroom is a shameful mess.
-The dog needs more cookies
- The laundry needs to be done
- The yard is hideous
-The beans could be replanted into bigger quarters
- The Hangover needs to be watched and returned
- The garden needs to be turned again
-The garden needs to be enriched
-The garden needs a plan
-The psudoplanters need to have drainage holes drilled

And I really tried. But Friday night I tried to go chair shopping only to discover that you can't go chair shopping in the evening! You can't. I was bummed. I had to watch The Hangover instead that was funny was not as pants pissingly hi-larious as I had been promised. I did however, get it off my list. Yay.

Saturday I went chair shopping. I haven't gone furniture shopping since 1997. My problem then was having more taste than money. I have the same problem in 2010 except that the furniture is now even more expensive than it was in 1997 and my taste has not change and now I have even less money. I still want what I can't have. I have corinthian leather tastes on a genuine man made leather budget.

If I like it, I can't afford it. If I think its crap its right in my price range. Do you have any idea how depressing it is to go into a discount, wholesale, clearance house,  factory blow-out, total liquidation  outlet and still not be able to afford anything? I saw a chair I liked strictly on its looks and discovered it was like sitting on a concrete bench, too bad it would have looked great with my couch.

I took a step back and thought about other options. Consignment! I've seen things I've really wanted at such stores and always said that the minute I actually needed anything that I would come right back and buy something. When I was not in the market they had the perfect chair! I remember it. Now when I am in the market? Almost nothing and the one possible was in worse shape than the chair I want to replace.


So Saturday I drove a lot and didn't really get anything off my list. I paid the guy to mow my lawn. Saturday night I made dog cookies with the cutest cookie cutters evah

Cute no? Well, in reality they proved to much cuter than their cookies. The bunny is passable but the ducky. ..

The ducky looks like a penguin, which would be fine, except that penguins are not seasonally appropriate! Its very confusing to the dog.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

HAPPY    SUNDAY    !!!!!!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

HAPPY     SATURDAY     !!!!!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Friday Cat Blogging

Best Laid Plains

I am very proud of me. I survived the first day of The Plan.

And I puff, puff am in puff such bad shape. I mean really, gasp, choke. I was in better shape but then it got cold and I wore layers. Today I did my first full day of The Plan. I walked Dogger in the AM, ate a protean bar for lunch, walked Dogger after work and ate a relatively not entirely
unhealthy dinner, but I will do better - and then rode my bike around the neighborhood and then walked Dogger again in the PM.

The walking I was find with. The bike rides nearly killed me.

Enter the puffing and the gasping. I even had to cross train! I haven't crossed trained on a bike ride since this time last year. So I shouldn't be entirely surprised but still, the gasping and puffing and hacking were really embarrassing. I'm riding, I'm riding , I'm riding and I was feeling great and then out of nowhere is this  heavily camouflaged hill  appeared and I had to cross train my way up it or along it as it was. I was very disappointed in me.

I did ride my bike the rest of the way home, so there is hope for me.

Speaking of other things that are disappointing me. This week I collected about a quarter of my usual haul of recyclables, I'm a little embarrassed to put it out the curb. The guys are going to think I got my life together or something, in my mind they make up stories about us to explain our weekly output and they  they made up an interesting story to explain my suddenly over flowing cans and bottles bin .

I mean, its interesting to just decide to pick of cans and bottles but its more interesting to sup-posit that I suddenly started binging because of some hugely interesting personal drama. My sudden lack of output might be because I was unable to gather Friday through Sunday but that should have translated into really big hauls early in the week but it didn't. I also noticed that someone mowed my best picking grounds. The nerve. It does look much more tidy now. Maybe I also collected all the available recyclables too. It could happen, some of what I harvested had been there for quite some time, I mean, I found some genuine antiques and maybe I just hit the recycling wall.

The good news is that we are looking down a three day weekend and a religious, family centered holiday. The winos will be miserable and I will have a full bin.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I am a bad garden Mommy.

Have you ever heard of broccaflowers? I have achieved broccoli flowers. Once you flower, you are officially done. I pulled off the other brocs thgat had formed and vowed to next time to do better.

However, from a strictly I Like Flowers because They are Pretty standpoint, my broc is now a very pretty little plant, one that I welcome.

Pretty, No? I have to say I was very disappointed in  myself  for letting it get to this point , but the plant will grow a new head at some point and frankly, I'm not as close to this plant as I was. To be honest, I really didn't bond with these plants the way I bonded with the plants last spring and summer. I think in a few weeks I'm going to pull these out anyway to properly get the garden dredged up for the 2010 planting.

Shock and amazement, my little garden has changed even in the last few days. My green beans are going at it like gangbusters and every day I have a new sprout working its way up to join its much taller brothers. I planted them at the same time and yet there are days of difference in the timing of their initial earth breaking. I had not thought about this.  I think this weekend I am going to repot quite a few of the green beans into larger homes. The luffas have not yet put in an appearance yet. Hmm.

My flowers are getting taller and slightly stronger every day as well. They haven't gotten to the point that they need to be re-potted yet but they will need to be thinned before too long and there is starting to be difference in the varieties of the plants. It's kind of neat. It would be even neater if I had identified them when I planted them or if the seed packages had better pictures of the plants' leaf structure.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Leave only foot prints

Does anyone know where I can get juvenile but yet some what mature honeysuckle plants? And before you make the knee jerk suggestion that I just go dig it up because I have tried the digging-it-up method and it  was not easy and then the little bit I did get up did not survive . I  failed there, its  bloody weed and from what my meager online research, I should not have been able to kill it.

And no, they don't sell it at the Wally World or at  actual reputable  nurseries. The garden glitterati does not see honeysuckle as a plant you intentionally grow, it is seen as a plant they can tell you how you get rid of so you can replace it with a "real" plant, one they will happily sell you.

So, you either have honeysuckle naturally occurring where you are or you do not and I do not.  Which means, I am going to  have  to miraculously come across  a nice big patch of it and dig it up. And then not kill it.  This time I'm going to stay prepared and carry a shovel and supplies to deal with a great big clump of it and transport it.

 The polite, take-a-cutting method of  weenie, delicate, takes-more-skill- than-it-looks method of propagating did not work for me. Its tough plant and you have to show it you aren't afraid of digging its ass up. It respects shows of strength. I just need to find a source where I can just dig it up without worrying about getting busted for trespassing - which I have avoided in the past by either A) Waving my camera or in tougher situations, say those with  posted signs or B) claiming ignorant touristophila while waving my camera.

It is however, difficult to wave your camera around while digging up a fibrous, root-y plant on some ones back forty.  You walk around with a camera on not-your-property and you have an excuse to be there and you can say It is so beautiful,  I take only pictures! you walk around with a shovel and it send a potentially more felonious message.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tuesday, the gateway to Wednesday

Dogger has run out of cookies and I saw this coming and I said to myself "I need to make Dog Cookies Monday night".  So I had it in my mind all day that I would eat dinner and then get started on the cookies but then I was still hungry after dinner and I thought about all the apples I ate over the weekend and I thought to myself that what would  be good would be another apple and since apples don't grow on trees around here, I had to go to the store to get some. I went to the store and bought pre-packaged dog treats! I feel so dirty.

I also bought raisins and cereal and for .50. two pieces of only slightly dried out chocolate cake. I ate one of the cakes and two of the little packages of raisins. I could bought two slices of coconut cake, but that's much higher in calories than cake without coconut. I wind up feeling virtuous in the end because I bought the chocolate cake instead.

I felt so bad about the cake, I bought Dogger the bacon treats. I was looking through my coupon envelope that I so wisely carry with me now and I discovered another dog treat coupon that featured the word FREE. I like free and I think Dogger will too. Gawd knows its the only way she would ever have access to munchies that cost $3.89 for two treats. I think they are some sort of chewy treat/toy thing that she will probably enjoy.

Dogger just realized that House is a rerun and I since I am not otherwise occupied, I should be out walking her. Life sucks for her. I all ready took her on  a car trip this evening so what does she want? And, it got cold again after a gorgeous weekend and now I feel like pouting and I don't want to go for another walk.

I thought after my little break that I would come back to a huge mess but there was some good news on the  cans and bottles front - after three days away, there were very, very few cans and bottles out there for me to gather! I went out twice today thinking it was going to be like shooting fish in a barrel but there turned out to be almost nothing out there, which I guess is good but at the same time, where is all the crap? Did someone do something to the great winos of Southeast Raleigh? Did they all get saved over the weekend and swear of demon rum? Did they switch to IV drugs?  If not, are they doing their drinking elsewhere? Inquiring minds want to know.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Garden 2010 Update 3

yes boys and girls its time for another exciting update! And this week? The paint has dried! I repeat, the paint has dried We have an exciting new development : Watching Grass Grow!

Moving them into more direct light seems to have been a good idea. I  also spent the weekend away from them, which was provision of the TRO that the judge granted the plants. Apparently they don't like me peering at them with a flashlight for hours on end! Who knew? I thought they would appreciate the attention as well as the benefits of all the added CO2 my visits provided.   They claimed that I creeped them out. Whatever.

You know, I don't care really, I mean one day very soon they are going to wish they had me standing over them all the time protecting them from danger. I'll get my revenge though, I know who called the law on me and when it comes time to cull the herd I know who's going first. Count on it.

Despite our difference of oppion, the flowers are doing exceptionally well for things less than an inch tall. I'm really pleased with how well they are coming up and that they are coming up at all is a lovely surprise in itself.  The poppies are doing really, really well.

Week 2

Orange poppies, red flower vine, tall white flower

Various flowers

Pink and orange poppies

Look at those sexy, sexy little sprouts! Aren't they gorgeous? They are all gorgeous but they will clearly have to be thinned at some point along the way. I thought about just saying "let nature take its course" but I'm afraid that might mean "they all suffocate and starve" instead of two or three thrive and four or five  go on to their planty reward. I think you're supposed to wait until there is real leaf growth and I don't think those things count as leafs. Leaflets maybe but I'm not going to get rid of any yet, I'm going to see who which ones are the strongest first before I start pulling things out.

I also planted a few veggies as well.  I'm hoping for a good show here but so far they aren't doing as nearly as well as the flowers. I had thought I would have more sprout than I have, and that I would have acres of green beans but its not looking like that. I may have to plant more, but it is early yet and I want to give them a chance to rebound. The beans are doing  better than the luffas.

Greenbeans and unsprouted luffas

Sunday, March 21, 2010

-- House passes health care reform, the most sweeping social legislation in more than four decades.

HAPPY    SUNDAY    !!!!!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

HAPPY    SATURDAY     !!!!!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Friday Cat Blogging


I had two things piss me off today. My mail didn't arrive. Again.

This time I pulled out the phone book and called the postal service to rattle some chains and find out where exactly where my mail is being held and what I have to do to get it back. FYI Chain rattling can be accomplished between 8:30-5pm M-F.   I didn't get home until 5:30, at which time you can huff  at some operator who will inform you that your post office delivery schedule is 8:30-2pm, and that I am correct, today is not a federal holiday. Tomorrow though I call the post office and huff at someone there. Fat lot of good it will do me.

 I'm  just glad its getting warmer and bike riding season because  over the summer I can  ride my bike to the post office every day whether I had mail to drop off or not. I look forward to not having to rely on the postal service to  be responsible for my outgoing mail.

The other thing that pissed me off was my DVR! I know! I was shocked too. I've had my DVR for a while now and its never let me down, its a very responsible toy. Tonight though, it thought Community was a rerun! It wasn't. The schedule said "Originally aired 3-18-10", which would be today but not in whatever world my DVR's head was. It knows what day it is,  the clock works and it knows the year it did not however know that Community was a first run episode and as such  I missed the first eight minutes! I have no idea why they were taking all these weird electives and what it all meant. And? Chevy Chase said  something deep and meaningful and really, really thoughtful. Yes, I said it : Chevy Chase said something deep and meaning and  really thoughtful and I won't be able to watch it again and wonder why it was in this show - which was all together not a deep and meaningful episode, except for the couple of times when it was - and when oddly,  Chevy was on screen .

See? Chevy Chase was deep and charming! Chevy "I Have No Soul" Chase! It was clearly some sort of bend in the space time continuum and I don't have it saved. I don't have my mail and I don't have Beginners Pottery.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Garden 2010 Update 2

Day four has seen some progress! We have sprouts.

I don't know what that feathery growth is but I saw it on other sprouts as well. I don't know if its some sort of fungus or if its a normal part of seed development. I'm going for the idea that its like a tiny plant sweater or maybe I have actually planted baby birds - which would be an easy mistake to make, I guess and if it was a mistake it took place at the factory. I would also welcome chicks, if that is the ultimate outcome. Baby birds are at least as pretty and more useful than flowers.

 I would love to be able identify the above plants or baby birds, as the case may be but I can not. I do know they are all flowers - which ones, I can only guess. It would have been nice if I had IDed them at the time of planting but I didn't. I figured that eventually they would look different enough to tell them apart. Some will be tall some will be short and one will be vining. They aren't going to be mistaken for each other.

 How could you not know the difference between a pink poppy and a vine with red flowers? I mean come on. The  top picture is I think, of the vining plant, the second is one of the poppie varieties the third is maybe a white flower that looks like a Queen Annes Lace but isn't. I know the poppies because they have tiny little seeds and the other flowers had larger seeds.

The beans and the luffas are showing no signs of signs. Nothing. In the spirit of experimentation, I moved that tray from its space in the nursery to a more direct sunlight location in another room. These seeds both suggested direct planting, so maybe they would benefit from more sunlight and warmth from the window.

Oh, and then there are the plants that are all ready in the ground.

They are doing okay but I've decided that I'm going to let the farmers market fill my broccoli needs in the future. The plants are just too high maintenance and don't produce enough volume to make them worth my gardening time.  I'm hoping that my green beans will be much more prolific and the reason that they haven't sprouted yet is because they are a larger more complex plant and they need more time to mature and a larger and hardy than the flowers that are small and weak and have much less of a shelf life and thus need to get started earlier and faster because their life span is shorter and they need a running start.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hell is for children ('s sizes)

I was at Wally World the other day ,  and while I was there I noticed a selection of discounted UNC/NCSU merch. Tiny E and Neffy do not need or want NC themed merch but my cousins two girls in Michigan do.

I didn't get anything that day because I didn't know their sizes and there seemed to be so much merch that  I could call their mother later and find out their sizes and school preferences and it wouldn't hurt my selection. I didn't look too closely at the available sizes because there was just so much merch that I didn't have time or desire to paw through it.    I called and got sizes and preference and I could have mentioned that  I live in town with one but the other has a national reputation but I don't really think it makes a difference. She wanted whichever  school had the prettier colors and a she prefers a zipper vs a pull over style.

My only right move before I left for Wallyworld, was that I had just eaten dinner so I wasn't  going starved, which was good, Wally World is full of bad convenience food and it all cheap and looks designed to be eaten while you are wandering around - We have gone past food appropriate for eating on the run to food appropriate to eating while looking at socks. Sad. Anyway, after much looking around and being teased by Mexican  pastries, it turns out that Wally World thinks my college merch needed to be with the plastic flowers and yarn . This time I took time to study the sizes and while I remembered correctly that they were sized from Preemie to Defensive Lineman - It was not part of my memorie that everything was either very tiny or very huge and very little in between.

 My cousins children are not tiny or very huge so I had to spend a lot of time molesting the merch. I also of course, didn't bring the slip of paper I wrote their sizes on, because  why would I want to do that? It might have made my life easier and the other People of Walmart would not have spent so much time looking at me - You don't want People of Walmart looking at you. Its not that I didn't understand, I spent a lot of time touching the merch and holding things up to better ascertain what children's sizes really mean. I mean a lot of time. I think there was a shift change while I was stressing over what size 4 really means and is a mythical size 10 that I couldn't find, really  that much larger than a 6x that I could find. I finally settled on the biggest size four and the smallest size 10 I found on a different rack that was not nearly as on sale as the size 4. Of course.

Wally is a bastard. and Wally World is hell.

I came home and checked my slip of paper, conveniently located next to the sink and found the kids wear a size four and a size 8-10. Score.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Monday, March 15, 2010


You can tell its spring because the kids from across the street are allowed outside. I haven't seen them since the first frost. You wouldn't even know there are people living there much less four children. I don't see them leave from school I don't see them come back. I can't say for sure that they even live there during the winter. It was the same last year. I can't also say for sure that there is electricity there over the winter either, you will never see a light on or a glow from a TV through the window. But its spring now and my tree is blooming and the older boy is outside throwing a football with his sister.

Speaking of spring. it is planting season. I planted my flower seeds! Have you ever seen a flower seed? Grains of sand are easier to manipulate. The instructions on my little seed starting kits directed me to put three seeds per tiny  pot. When I opened the first envelope and found a second smaller envelope inside that I discovered that you would need a magnifying glass and very expensive tweezers to achieve this. Poppy seeds are especially unmanageable. I bought a lot of poppy seeds. I bought a lot of seeds period.

For the time being they don't look like much

And doesn't my entry way make a lovely plant nursery? Warm, out of direct sunlight and if that floor gets a little damp? Well, no harm no foul. I could have used my basement but I decided it was a little too out of direct sunlight and it would be harder for me to keep an eye on them Those seeds are going to start sprouting in a couple of weeks and they are going to look around and notice that there are hundreds of them and only one of me. But I'll be ready, I went to Poverty Barn and loaded up on ice buckets slash planters.

 I'll be able to say You think you're all that uh? Well come and get me! I have pots on top of pots waiting for you! You're all bad ass right now but wait until I separate you from your little friends and get you settled into your permanent address. We'll see who the bad ass is then won't we? And speaking of bad ass? I got those planters for a song, I bought two more of the larger size I had last year and six of the smaller ones for my stairs. $3 a pop for the little ones and $5 for the larger. Buying store bought planters is for suckers - if you have a drill you have a planter and they are guaranteed to be much cuter and to your taste than what you can find in the stores. What I want now is a drill bit suitable for drilling drainage holes in ceramic - because that would be awesome and open a whole world of  decorative planters for me.

The vegetable seeds were much easier to deal with because they are bigger and if even a quarter of my green beans sprout, I'm going to have a lot of green beans and most likely more luffas that I may need for personal use. I do hope my friends and extended family enjoy getting personal grooming tools as gifts. And green beans, are frozen vegetables suitable for gift giving? Merry Christmas! Its green beans! or maybe they can be Thanksgiving gifts? Housewarming gifts, wedding gifts...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

HAPPY    SUNDAY    !!!!!!!

Saturday, March 13, 2010


Friday, March 12, 2010

Friday Cat Blogging

The Thinker
40's of fulfillment

If you walked past my house right now you would think I either had the best week ever or absolutely the worst in living memory.  My  recycling bin is full, normally I recycle a coke can here and water bottle there  and some weeks I don't manage to put out a plastics/can/bottle bin at all, but not this week.

Earlier than I am out walking Dogger, the 40oz Bunny is out leaving me many, many "eggs" to hunt for. Beer bottles, water bottles, beer and soda cans,  random  juice containers... and they just sit there forever. I walk Dogger every day on the same route and every day I see these bottles and cans just sitting there piling up and they never got picked up and I started to think I could pick them up! I should pick them up! but it took  me a while to get it together - Remembering to bring a big enough plastic bag to carry all my loot was a toughie.

The first day I got a huge haul . I get a huge all every day.I thought I  would have over fished my particular pond but thus far that is not the case.  I was very naive. I did see a little bit of a dent my the fourth day and by day five I did need to hunt a little.  A little. Hardly at all and I don't pick up broken glass and I don't take your beer bottles off your front yard no matter how many days in a row I see them there twinkling and teasing me and I don't go fishing in the storm drains, although it would be an easy kill, I prefer to keep my hands clean.

So there are recyclables I don't  pick up and yet I do not run out. But, it does look better. The field behind the pirates gas station does look a little less trashy, there is less broken glass on the sidewalks,  and there are fewer cans in the street.

 I don't know how long I'm going to continue my Neighborhood Beautification project but  its so freaking easy and such a no brainer I don't see any reason to not keep it up. What would be great, would be  if the winos, assorted junkies and street scum that frequent my neighborhood would stop being such lousy citizens, lazy sob's and enemies of the planet or we could start punish littering with the death penalty. Ask me how I feel about that in a few months.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Scooby Snack

Its raining. Bummer. Dogger needs to walk in the evening, it calms her down and its good for us both. And I look like a bad ass walking my giant dog in the dark. Ruff.

The other night we were out for our evening walk and met with three baby Gs out for their evening stroll and the G taking up the rear looked a little fearful at Dogger and the lead G said "It's just a dawg!". Dogger I swear to Gawd, stopped and looked back at the Gs as if to say "Just" a dog? How about I just bite through your femur? How 'bout that junior? Girl dog talks trash. She shouldn't really run anyone to ground anymore, but she can lunge like a son of a bitch. Don't mess with my dawg.

We were out for our five pm walk the other day and we were walking on the sidewalk and we passed this guy.

Guy - Hiya
Me - Hi
Guy - Out for a walk?
Me - Uh. Yeah.
Guy - That's good.

The last couple of days its been warmer and I've seen a lot of people out walking their dogs, which is great, I love to see that because its good to see people doing that for their dogs and its good exercise for the walker as well. Also? it makes me look less like a dog walking freak , I would really like it if more of them would walk their dogs at 5:45 am because when I see other people out  at that hour I imagine that they are dangerous crazy people  coming back from some pre-dawn slaughtering . If they had their dog with them, it would make them look less homicidal.

 All these new dog walkers and I am the only person who picks up after their dog! I swear! I'm seeing lots and lots of  dog bombs all over and it's making me crazy. Its so not hard to pick up after your dog! I do it over and over and not once has it been a hardship. do you know what a hardship is? Dog shit on your shoes! That is a huge hardship.

Speaking of people and their dogs, today we saw the happiest puppy ever. There is a house on our five pm route that is the home of three little girls and now their leetle black lab puppy! All puppy tummy and puppy feet. It looked like a toy and the little girls were so proud of it. I just wanted to cross the street and eat it up.

I would have but as afraid that Dogger may also eat it up so we stayed on our side of the street. I shouldn't say that, Dogger has always been very respectfully of small dogs but I thought she would get over excited by the little girls who strike me as squeally.

She has long been a fan  little girls, but lately, when I've stopped to visit with people along the way, she has felt obligated to climb her leash and generally show her ass and I don't want her to do that in front of children. What I really wanted to do was to to rush her home and come back by myself to fondle/eat the puppy. I had to settle for left over pizza.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Playing with my food

I decided that I needed to go out for dinner and I that as long as  I was out, I needed Chinese food. I should have known there had been a change to my friendly neighborhood Chinese restaurant when I walked in and saw no Asians. No Asians is a bad sign when you walk into a Chinese restaurant, instead I walked in and saw Hispanics! Good if you're looking for decent carne asada, bad if you're in the market for General Tso's chicken. My first big hint should have been the GRAND OPENING signs they had posted and as the place has been there for years, I should have seen those as signs as what they truly were: signs of foreboding.

Uninspiring Chinese food is such a let down, and I start out with very low standards as to what counts as inspirational Chinese food anyway; In my world if you cut it in small enough pieces and drown it in  salt and brown sauce I am going to walk away inspired.

I really like that Chinese place too. Now I'm going to have to go to the buffet place by Wally World. I don't like it because it is a carbon copy of another Chinese place by another Wally World. I don't mind my McDonald's all being the same but if I'm paying $6.60 a plate for tiny pieces of brown meat in salt, I like to have it seasoned with less copy toner

After dinner, I was forced to drown my disappointment by going to a near by low end department store to recover among the very lovely smocked children's clothes. Tiny E , post a  phone call  to her Mommy and Daddy,sadly, did not end up any new dresses but she did come thisclose to getting a deeply discounted rain suit - just about the only thing in the little girls department that was not hand smocked and even it was embroidered.

The dresses were adorable though. You could die from the smocking on those dresses! $31 is not too much to ask for something that probably caused a Chinese political dissident to become blind and arthritic.

 Too bad they were all dressy dresses and no play wear - which is a drag, Tiny E likes to wear dresses and while there is no little girl more princess positive than her,  even she does not need to wear crinolines to daycare. Every day.

In a perfect world, post Easter though, I would make sure that child had a wardrobe that would make Suri Cruise pout.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

And the Oscar (tm) Went to...

And again, I stay up so you don't have to. I am all about the self sacrifice.

Damn. This thing isn't even scheduled to leave the ground until 8:30! Shit. I'll be up all night, I may have to reevaulate my dedication to self sacrifice.

8:30 - Finally underway. Lame-ly, but underway.

 But wait! NPH? Wow, this is going to be better than I thought. Can he stay? He's so cute and so good at this. He should be on broadway not wasting his talent on a sitcom. Love him. Love Busby Berkley too. Enough with the love...Can we just hand out the damn awards? Please? I'll go order one of his books new from Amazon and everything. Are we really going to introduce everyone in the damn audience? We all ready trotted out all the  acting nominees, wasn't that enough.

Get on with it. Clooney is going to send a nasty email in the morning.

8:48 - Best Supporting Actor:  Christoph Waltz, Inglorious Basterds
8:59 - Best Animated Feature - Up

Miley Sirus? Really? Ew. Can't even read. Gawd. And? Looks like whore on her wedding day.

9:04 - Best Orginal Song - "The Weary Kind",  Crazy Heart
9:15- Best Orginal Screen Play -  The Heart Locker

Okay. I loved John Hughes too.

Two more young people I don't recognize. I am so old. The explanation of the short films lasted longer than most of the shorts. They could have just shown us the winner in its entireety,

9: 32- Best Animated Short - Logorama
9: 34-  Best Documentory Short - Music By Prudence (African girl in wheel chair)
9:37-  Best Live Action Short Film - The New Tenents
9:41-  Best Make Up - Star Trek
9:50- Best Adapted Screen Play - Precious

9:58   Best Suporting Actress - Monique,  Precious
10:07 - Best Art Direction - Avatar
10:10- Best Costumes - The Young Victoria

Oh, look two more young people I don't recognize. The girl is slouching at the Oscars! Even I could stand up straight for the Oscars!

I do not care for horror films.

Gods. Yet more young people I don't know.

10:25-  Best Sound Editing - The Hurt Locker
10:27-  Best Sound Mixing - The Hurt Locker

I follow Elizabeth Banks on Twitter. What is it exactly that she does.

10:36  Best Cinematography - Avatar

Demi Moore and the RIP tribute. Now We Dance! You know what would waste less time? Just announcing the damn winner. I know the people in the audience need time to go pee, but I have to be at work tomorrow.

10:53-  Best Score - Up
10:55-  Best Visual Effects - Avatar
11:04- Best Documentory Feature - The Cove (Dead Dolphins)
11: 07 - Best Film Editing - The Hurt Locker
11: 16- Best Foreign Language Film -  Argentina,  El Secreto De Sus Ojos

I am never going to get to bed. Please bask in my self- sacrifice.

Oh. Goody. Group Presentation. Nummy. JUST HAND OUT THE DAMN AWARDS. We know what great people they all are, we all ready like them. Just do it. I have to go to bed, because I assume this is all about me, I am the only person this is putting out, no one else also needs to go to work tomorrow. This late night nonsense is the dark side of the Equity Monday rule. Long drown out speeches from people who barely know them from projects they can barely remember  doing going on about what great people they barely remember them to be. We. Get. It. Total supermen and superwomen all totally deserving of this award.

11:33-   Best Actor - Jeff Bridges,  Crazy Heart
11: 47 - Best Actress - Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side (for real. Meryl Streep and Gabourney Sidibe lost to Sandra Bullock)
11:55 -  Best Director - Kathryn Bigalow,  The Hurt Locker (The forst woman to win this award in  82 years)

11:59 - Best Picture,  The Hurt Locker
HAPPY     SUNDAY   !!!!!!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

HAPPY   SATURDAY    !!!!!!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Doing Our Part

Tell me what Democracy looks like?! This is what Democracy looks like!

 My precinct made quorum! On The First Try!

In years past we've had to go to lame  make up meetings on a Saturday at the party head quarters and those are no fun. These meetings aren't fun either but at least you get a feeling of community and  all that. True out of 1500 voters we pulled a total of five, but that's approximately four more than we had last time, so its a big deal. I am again the vice chair and a delegate to the conventions and a member of the executive committee. Woo! I rawk hard.

We talked a lot about how much we hate the rethuglicans and how they are ruining the Wake County schools, because they are hateful and they are ruining the Wake County schools. But its good to have a consensus.

Of course, once again our large, predominantly black precinct was poor attended and Lily white. We got a little round table while the other precincts got banquet tables set out because they pull in 25 people every time. My precinct "doesn't like the big meetings and prefers to meet at the rec center, like they always have" Bull shit. The meetings aren't being held like that anymore and its time to make the change. Spoiled children. If Precinct 50 can pull in huge numbers of folks why can't we? Why are they different? And I don't want to hear about poor, elderly people not being able to make the meetings, half the people there tonight were poor and elderly and they  made the meeting and some of them in their wheel chairs damn it. No excuses, no spoiled children these.

There were several candidates running for various positions and they were all very good, or at least  they looked very good, the acoustics in the High School cafeteria sucked and we really could only hear about every other thing they said but they all wore nice suits and apparently everyone of them is running against a 12 year old Rethuglican WASP that graduated Law School two weeks ago. Not a lot of WASPs in our congressional district.  But the rethuglicans will be there, if they don't hit  all of our doors, they'll hit everywhere else and the Democrats won't be because  these low on the ballot races aren't all that important. The 12 year olds will win because no one bothered to hit our doors and tell us why we need to go vote and where on the ballot these races are.

The school board went red because the party didn't care about the bottom of the ballot races. Guess what? Thanks to our complacency the schools are going to hell and our school children will spend their days in 1957. The rethuglicans have mastered fear mongering and keeping their base angry and frightened, its time for the Democrats to get out there and terrify us.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Lift that bail tote that barge

I have given myself a homework assignment for this evening: I must watch Four Christmas's.

Its been sitting there gathering dust in its little envelope since, oh, I don't know, a long time ago. I keep saying I'm going to watch it and then something comes us, first it was a run of really good Law and Order seasons and then it was the Olympics and how could I watch some not very good Vince Vaughn movie instead of several hours of Nordic Combined? I mean really?! but now I think I should just watch the damn thing on fast forward if I have to just to get it out of my house. I hate returning a movie I haven't watched because then I paid a lot of money for it and  it didn't do anything and I wasted the charge. In this case however I wouldn't feel all that bad as the late fees would be huge by now, well more than the $9 a month I lay out for Netflix for the privilege of having their movies gather dust on top of my TV.

Keeping that in mind I could just return it and move on to not watch the next movie in my list because I think the next movie is one I do want to see, so if I just return it I can get out of my own way and see something I might enjoy but, there is nothing on TV tonight and I have no L&O's  T-Fauxed for once and I think I can watch the movie finally guilt free.

I deserve it. I washed the dog, laundered her stuff and did a load of dishes and then bathed myself  (dog washing is the art of turning yourself in to your own dirty dog. You have successfully washed your dog when you smell worse than it does.) I  made dinner  instead of rewarding myself for being a good dog mommy and frankly for eating left over sausage, I think I should reward myself.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


I just had a very ADD moment. I had settled in front of the machine and flipped through a couple or five sites I wanted to check on and then got to the business of getting an entry done. And then I decided that I really, really needed to make dog cookies! Right Now!  Green shamrock cookies to be precises and I needed to get these done right here right now because if I didn't do it right here right now Dogger might run out of cookies tomorrow or the next day! There was no time to waste!

I picked up and rushed to the kitchen and turned on the oven and gathered up my ingredients and had to decide what kind of cookies these shamrocks were going to be, and since I didn't have any bacon or cheese  in the house and Dogger can't have peanut butter or molasses, which I do have in the house,  I went with my new little friend beef bouillon. The valentines were beef flavored and I kind of wanted to mix it up a bit and give her something new to taste. I know it totally matters to her but I have my cookie making pride to maintain.

The valentines were red and I added the coloring too late and I thought it was going to be a problem but then it wasn't and so this time I added the color at the right time and it was a problem. I ended up with marbling and I hate that. I should have just added it when I did the last time, but the last time I wasn't so ADD and I had more patience with the dough. Today I was not patient  and sadly and I ended up with streaky cookies. I recognize that Dogger doesn't care about what the cookies look like but it matters to me and I like to maintain a certain level of  cookie quality here.

The shamrocks are larger too so I got fewer but if I get it together it won't matter because it will bunny and chick cookie time! Yay bunnys and chicks!  What color should they be? Yellow certainly for the chicks but what color should the bunnies be? Do they make white food coloring?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Snow Bunny

I was at the grocery on Saturday and  as I passed by the card section I asked myself if I needed any cards and I said "Nope. I'm good". So forty-eight hours later, I find out I need a card and I'm suddenly rethinking my scorn for those people who keep file boxes of cards so they can pull them as needed - SO they aren't running back to the store every two days to go buy more  and I thought what geeks they were, what sad slaves to Hallmark they must be. I'm suddenly jealous of those  sad, slavish people. I then had to physically stop myself from buying a St. Patrick's Day card for a friend.

It also occurred to me that I needed some butter and sugar and flour because couldn't remember that sort of thing while I was wandering around a grocery store. I  also  "needed" a package of 60 calorie pudding confection that tasted like pudding mixed with a liberal amount of air, Nummyish in a low cal, oddly staining kind of way, although I can't say I remember touching it at anytime I of course could not remember the dust or butter or any of the other things I needed, say on Saturday because I need to go to the market or in this case Wally World every damn day. The  world economy would collapse if I didn't spend at least part of each day having my environment polluted with  low, low every day prices.

But now I have enough cat dust to get through an ice age which,  oddly is what they are forecasting for us this  coming week. Yay. I didn't move here for all this snow. I was promised four distinct seasons, a Chick Fil La on every corner and a beach within driving distance. No mention of multiple instances of snow. I want a refund.

Liars. I'm really hoping that the NOAA site was hacked by some school kids who are looking for more time off from school or that the forecast is just some sort of baseless internet rumor. I can only hope.

Monday, March 1, 2010

And another weekend bites the dust.

I bought new jeans. I know you've all been standing by with baited breath about that. I would have replaced them earlier but I wasn't sure what the official mourning period was and I didn't want to be seen as being thoughtless or not caring about them.

As the other jeans died at Christmas and  now we're looking down Easter, I think I waited a fair amount of time. They weren't nice jeans anyway,  they were Sam's Club brand so if I had run to Sam's that afternoon and picked up a new pair I think would have been safe, I believe that the mourning period  for really nice, high end jeans like 7 for All Man Kind jeans is something like 27 months. I should have gone back in December because when I went back to Sam's in February they no longer carried them in my size.


Old Navy was having a sale and so I  decided I had mourned an appropriate period and I went to get new ones. Do you know how many kinds of jeans Old Navy carries? About 267 and none of them are called "I Fit Diana" and that doesn't count the "boyfriend jeans" that look like your boyfriend ran over them with his truck and then used them to paint his bathroom. When  my jeans start to look like them, I buy new ones. I would have liked the style if they had carried any that didn't have paint splotches and rips included as I prefer to customize them myself. They were sold as "weekend jeans",  so I guess we aren't  supposed to wear our boyfriend jeans on casual Fridays.

 It was exhausted trying on  multiple pairs of jeans, Note to self, perhaps 41 is too old, too tall, and too heavy to shop at Old Navy. I don't think I fall within their target demographic of   a  4 foot 11, 13 year old size 2 girl. I was shopping in the "women's" section but I think it refers to very young women, perhaps women who just that morning became a woman and now needs to buy some new jeans.

I didn't make more cookies for Dogger. I was going to but then I  ended up babysitting Nephy and I wasn't around the house much. I have never baby sat for him before and before this weekend I had never changed his diaper or fed him. His sister is three and I've never baby sat her either and I never changed any of her diapers.  Apparently my reputation as a  baby hating scum bag is pretty well entrenched.

I was glad to see that diapers and diapering haven't changed much since I worked daycare, I was relived to see that everything is still in the same place and there hasn't been any upgrades in the years since I was last in the business.  I did thoroughly  mess up their diaper genie and I'm pretty sure I put the last diaper on backwards - but  I think it was a defective diaper because I tried it both ways and it was backward both times. I managed to not diaper his head so I still count it as a win.

Is Sotchi another word for Soviet? Some of those CGI ice sculptures in their film  smacked of  5 Year Plans and looked torn from  Soviet propaganda posters.