Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Shake it off

All this with Bushco and AI and everything is really bumming me out. Alphagal somehow knew I was stressing and she sent me this Kittenlicious link! I got to meet these babies in person and they the Sweetest. Kitties. Evah. Follow the link and improve your mood.
Sign this petion.

But first read this and then go and sign it.

lifted from Blondsense
Bush, Cheney tell Amnesty to Cheny themselves

Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday he was offended by Amnesty internationals condemnation of the United States for what it called "serious human rights violations" at Guantanamo Bay.

deeply offended that any one dare question Bushcos will, how dare they! don't they know that Freedom Is On The March?! until at least 2009?

"For Amnesty International to suggest that somehow the United States is a violator of human rights, I frankly just don't take them seriously," he said in an interview that aired Monday night on CNN's "Larry King Live."

And we're sending people tp jail because why? Yeah. Its so hard to take them seriously when it's your behaiver in question. Let some other tin pot dicatator sitting on some of "our"oil, abuse his people, then we are all about Amnesty Internationls reports

Amensty International - "We have documented that the U.S. government is a leading purveyor and practitioner of the odious human rights violation," William Schulz, executive director of Amnesty International USA, said Wednesday

"Guantanamo's been operated, I think, in a very sane and sound fashion by the U.S. military. ... I think these people have been well treated, treated humanely and decently," Cheney said. "Occasionally there are allegations of mistreatment."

We told the troops there to not do those things any more. We don't even issue dog leashes anymore, for instance...

"But if you trace those back, in nearly every case, it turns out to come from somebody who has been inside and been released ... to their home country and now are peddling lies about how they were treated."

Whiners! how dare they go back and tell tales out of school. We didn't even cut out the toungues! We will now...

From CNN.com

Bush also fired bak at those nasty people and their disaproval of him

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush called a human rights report "absurd" for criticizing the United States' detention of terrorist suspects at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and said Tuesday the allegations were made by "people who hate America."

Because only people who support you blindly "love" you, because people who are in the business of keeping track of human rights violantions that occure all over the world must hate us specifially or they wouldn't be doing all that at all AI? totally new group, didn't exsist before Bushco took office...

also from CNN.com

You know who else got a negitive report from AI? EVERYONE. If you are a country on this planet, you got a negitive report. The UK? has one, Japan? right there, Germany? in line with the rest... I notice that only "we" are complaining and drawing attention to ourselves. EVERYONE else is just saying "Phht. Hippies. What can you do?" or "Fuck You AI! Those are our people and we'll torture them if we want to! and you can't stop us!Nanny, Nanny Boo-Boo!" even the folks who embrace their torture of their countrymen aren't saying "WAHhhhhhhh! You hate us! Wahhhhhh! Nobody understands me!!".

Good Morning! Happy to back at work? Kind of? Maybe a little? Thinking that maybe what you really need is another day off to recover from your day off? Yeah. I feel you.

The good thing about having a Monday off is that you get to start the week on Tuesday but now you have all the first day of the week issues and your Tuesday issues as well. On The Same Day. Its just wrong. In my case, I was gone from work on Friday so I also have Friday issues to make up too, and calls to return because it doesn’t matter how universal the holiday is, there will always been some yutz who calls on the day off and is really offended that his call did not get returned in a timely manner. I have news for that guy, I never return messages in a timely manner! I’m a state employee, if you want to talk to me, you’re really going to have to keep trying back. If I don’t return your call inside the first hour after you called? I’m not going to call back and if you are calling about a patently dumb ass question, expect me to Sigh at you. I mean, its what I’m paid for. I am paid to make you feel stupid. Actually, I’m not paid much, so the fact I even answer my phone while I’m ast my desk says a lot about my awesome work ethic. Actually, it says more about how annoying and loud my phone ringer is, I’ll do anything including talk to an actual member of the public to make it stop ringing.

What else? I found out that cats can get the 24 hour flu and that it has about the same symptoms as a 24 flu in people. Kitty spent most of the weekend and barfing his guts out - but not at the same time, he didn’t barf under any deck chairs. He waited until he had carpet or wooden floors under foot to barf and barf he did, a lot. He woke me up from a sound sleep with his maniacal barfing. It was like The Exorcist meets ... I don’t know. It was gross and I don’t know where Kitty got that pea soup but I hope he got a bulk rate for it.

As for Dogger. Dogger decided that she was afraid of low flying plans and jet trails again. She also was afraid of boat motors and the sound of her own heart beat. Dogger was fun. There is nothing like forcing a 100 pound dog to do something it doesn’t want to. Have you ever tried to drag a hundred pound dog across a parking lot when it was bound and determined to go the other way? I would have had more luck trying to pull a car with the parking brake engaged across the parking lot - a least the car has wheels that roll, no parking brake as the force of 16 claws dug into the pavement plus a hundred pounds of pure doggy angst added in. I think Dogger should think about a second career as a protester. She needs top find a cause to champion because when she says HELL NO I WON’T GO! - girl dog means it .

Monday, May 30, 2005

Lest We Forget

The Honor Roll

And as a remninder, Nightline will again be reading the names of the fallen this evening. George Bush will not be watching, we should be.

Sunday, May 29, 2005


Saturday, May 28, 2005


Friday, May 27, 2005

Tomato/Tomahto? part Duh

What is it with these dictatorial types and word play? did North Korea hire Bushco's PR firm?

...Unlike sugar-packed and chocolate-covered sweets, The North Koreans are hoping that children in the reclusive state will enjoy munching on their nutritional candy made of seaweed, beans, carrots and sesame seeds, the newspaper said...

...The candy report comes on the same day a top U.N. agency official said the food shortage crisis in North Korea is growing more severe by the day and the communist state is dispensing "starvation rations" to its population.

Full story here

From CNN.com
Friday Cat Blogging

There are no casual Fridays. Posted by Hello


Thursday, May 26, 2005

Ewwwwww. I wanna clean my email out with bleach

Why Frist could not let go of his crazed, malevolent, Khristian Taliban partisan bull shit - Because he SUCKS.

Dear Friend,

As a supporter of the National Republican Senatorial Committee I wanted to send you a judicial update... ( I find out who put me on this list...)

On Monday, an arrangement was reached by fourteen of my colleagues. I was not a party to it, and here's why... (Because I suck? because I was afraid of my rabid Khristian taliban over lords?

I do not agree with it because it does not get the job done of ensuring fair, up or down votes on all judicial nominees sent to the Senate by the President. (the Republican president, don't ya mean, Bill, you asshole)

It is my firm belief that--on principle--all judicial nominees deserve an up or down vote on the floor of the United States Senate. (as long as they are Republican)

The new understanding, if followed in good faith, affirms my principle to some extent. It marks some break in the partisan obstruction of the past two years, and ensures that seven outstanding jurists--including Priscilla Owen, Janice Rogers Brown and William Pryor--will get the fair up or down votes they have long deserved.(Assssshhhhooolllllllls)

But it does not grant fairness to all other jurists. It still allows mindless filibusters to be triggered at the whim of a minority more interested in obstruction than progress. (Phhhhhttttttttt)

And that is a shame. (No, it really isn't)

So make no mistake, the Constitutional Option remains on the table. If the minority again acts in bad faith--if they resume their campaign of mindless judicial obstruction--I will NOT hesitate to call it to a vote.

Not for a second. (Screw You)

For too long on judicial nominees, the filibuster was abused to facilitate partisanship, and subvert principle. (By the REPUBLICANS you jack ass!)

We have exposed the injustice of judicial obstruction in the last Congress, and advanced the core Constitutional principle that all judicial nominees deserve a fair up or down vote on the floor of the U.S. Senate. (How about the Democratics judge choices? they don't get the same thing?)

So the Senate will begin to execute this arrangement, with a vote up or down on Priscilla Owen. Giving up their minority-party led obstructionism, the Senate invoked cloture on her yesterday by a vote of 81-18. (You say "obstructionisnm", I say 200 plus years of history?)

Priscilla Owen--after four years, two weeks and two days--finally received the fair, up or down vote she deserved. (She deserved?!! She should never had been appointed in the first place!)

And, mark my words, more judges like her will follow in the days ahead.(Insane? Right wing judge-bots? neocon foot soldiers? I hope the minority will respect the will of the majority(just you wait, be nice on the way up Fristy, the fall down is going to hurt) and give judges the courtesy, the respect, of a fair, up or down vote.


Bill Frist, M.D.
Helen Thomas Loves America

Thomas:"Invaded or Invited": Scotty McClellen "Tomato, Tahmato... they should have just lay there and enjoyed it. Freedom is on the move, damn it!"

from Adventus
Don't forgive them Father, for they know exactly what they did

Cross burnings investigated in North Carolina Durham actually.

Top Stories on CNN.com

Carrie beats Bo for 'American Idol' title | Video

• Sources: Bush to offer millions to Palestinians | Video

• Tucker: I warned Jackson about accuser | Video

• Suspect in Florida death climbs crane in Atlanta

• Police: Three crosses burned in North Carolina

• SI.com: Colin Powell joins group looking to buy Nationals

• Garth Brooks proposes to Yearwood -- onstage | Video

Don't forgive CNN either, for they know exactly what they are doing too...

How does American Idiot, Michael Jackson, Garth Brooks, sports non-news, and local news rate top of the page above the fold coverage? American Idiot is more important then the Palestinians? Cross Burnings aren't as newsworthy as Michael Jackson?

Bust a Move

The filibuster thing is old news now, I know. But it’s one of those gifts that keeps on giving, like a unpotty trained puppy, Some kind soul out there put me on Liddy Doles mailing list and the RNC senatorial campaign list - Again, a gift kind of like herpes – you hope it won’t come back, you treat it, you are out break free, but it just keeps coming back, like sexually transmitted cock roaches. Ya got to love the RNC and their little minions. Anyway, due to my little friends diligence I got a copy of Liddy Doles press release about the compromise, in the same mail came the DNC press release from Nancy Pelosi.

Cat Fight!!

"Although I am pleased that some of the President's qualified judicial nominees are finally getting the fair up or down vote they deserve, I am disappointed that not all nominees will be afforded that same courtesy. Damn it! World domination was with in our reach and now its gone!.The understanding made by the group of fourteen made clear that judicial philosophy is not a legitimate reason to filibuster qualified judges It's all about our philosophy. John McCain is an asshole! He is so off the Dole Family Christmas card list! We can’t just have these judges reading the law! It’s not about the law it’s about Our Will! . If Democrats should choose to continue their unprecedented use of the filibuster, Suborning our claim for world domination, how dare they question Our will? How dare they think that the laws of this land have anything to do with Us! We’re the GOP! Gods Own Party! we should immediately move to the constitutional option You call it Nuclear, we call it Constitutional Tee hee! Although I believe a vote on the constitutional option was certainly justified today That’s what I’ve been told, I don’t have a clue what’s going on here. I mean sleeping with a Senator did a lot for me at the Garden Club, but it didn’t it easier to follow what all the men are talking about! It’s so confusing! I was all set to be a surrendered wife and all of a sudden I’m a Senator Wife, I am glad that it has not been taken off the table for future confirmation debates. We’re going to find some half wit traffic judge in Podunk who still believes the earth is flat and won’t let his wife vote! he will be on the Federal Bench! You think you have us? You think giving us Prissy Owen, Janis Rogers and William Pryor is going to be good enough? Think Supreme Court Judge Zell Miller! oh, we aren’t done.

Senator Elizabeth Dole

“Last night, Democracy held fast against an onslaught by Republican extremists Just barely, John McCain is a God In a victory for the American people the Democratic people, the republican people can kiss my ass a handful of reasonable Republicans Yoo Hoo! John McCain!! rejected the demands of their Leadership Used their own minds, who would have thought that republicans could still do that?! We are still freaking out! and worked to take the "nuclear option" off the table. The checks and balances in the Senate were preserved For the time being.. Republican Leadership has been pandering to their extreme special interests; how does poor white trash raise all that money? We don’t get it! They have fourth grade educations and they send in thousands of dollars! We have PhDs and they send us pennies! oblivious to what is best for the American people The Americans in the Blue States, but I commend these few Republicans for putting our democracy ahead of partisanship, Again, Hi! John McCain!!

Nancy Pelosi

Wednesday, May 25, 2005


First Bushco said that if you bought street drugs you were helping spread terra, now they are claiming that if you buy that "Helo Kidy" backpack you are giving aid and comfort to the terra-sts. Eventually,if Bushco keeps up in this vein, not wanting to buy retail is going to be an unmurican act.
Another year older and deeper in debt

HONOR ROLL: ABC's Nightline planning a Memorial Day broadcast honoring the more than 900 U.S. soldiers who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan since last year by reading their names and showing photos of the dead. A similar broadcast last year ignited serious controversy.
No More "freedom" fries

It was a culinary rebuke that echoed around the world, heightening the sense of tension between Washington and Paris in the run-up to the invasion of Iraq. But now the US politician who led the campaign to change the name of french fries to "freedom fries" has turned against the war...

from The Guardian

fuller story here
The more things change the more they stay the same…


Scopes Is Indicted in Tennessee for Teaching Evolution
Nashville, Tenn., May 25 -- John T. Scopes, young Dayton (Tenn.) high school teacher, tonight stands indicted for having taught the theory of evolution to students attending his science classes in violation of a law passed by the Tennessee Legislature and signed by the Governor on March 21, 1925.



Evolution theory stickers taken off textbooks

The evolution disclaimers read: “This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered.”

“It’s a sad day in Cobb County,” said Larry Taylor, a parent who favors including alternatives to evolution in science classes. “I hate to see the stickers go. I thought they were a fair compromise.”


from Fark and New York Times
Being There

Weather or Not

Its pretending that its’ going to rain. I know its just pretending because I have a dog to walk and lawn to possibly mow and I can’t do those if it’s raining. So this over cast darkness business is obviously just an attention getting device. It’s the weathers version of pink hair and a pierced eyebrow and dating a drummer.

See? Now it’s all sunny again. Passive aggressive weather bitch. It’s going to keep doing this until I’m just about ready to either walk dog or mow lawn and then it’s going to pour rain. I mean, I know that in theory I can both mow lawn and walk dog in the rain but I have to really, really, really want to do those things in the rain and frankly, I don’t want to mow the lawn and walk the dog in the rain! and after having walked the dog many times in the rain, I have decided that I don’t really like walking the dog in the rain and I know I don’t want to mow the lawn in the rain or for that matter, mow the lawn in the just finished raining either. It’s not worth it. I think I have plenty of good neighbor points racked up so that if my lawn doesn’t get mowed this weekend I don’t think I’m going to find any nasty notes in my door when I get back on Monday.

Oh, by the way? I’m going out of town, no entry on Monday. Sorry. If I don’t have to go to the office, I don’t have to post an entry either. It’s a thing.

But today is not Monday and I must soldier on with this entry.

Cleanliness is next to…

I think tonight is going to be spent on part two of the big spring/summer cleaning. I washed Dogger last night and so the coast is clear for a bit of bathroom tidying up and then I’m going to move on to the kitchen… maybe I’ll start in the kitchen instead, its awful and tonight is the House season finale and according to the spoilers, I really need to be camped out in front of the screen for every minute of the show to “be there” for it and not running back and forth with Windex dripping down my arms or preoccupied with wringing out the mop or trying to keep the kitty from leaving little paw prints all over and even though I will be taping it too, it’s just not the same as watching it "live". I could, really, mop the floor Wednesday morning or after work even, its not something that has to be tonight or else, its kind of just has to be done. I think the next floor I put down in there is going to be dark. Maybe brown or red or something that the dirt will be less dirty and more pattern-y.

Happy Meal Toy

Lunch Buddy got a brand new 6 week old kitten and she hasn’t brought it to work yet! I’ve told her I would be happy to cat sit for her during the day. The kitty could play with my Happy Meal Toys and be its very own Eden Alternative! Nursing Homes get to have little animals why can’t we? and if any of the animal haters around the office bitch about the kitten being in the office and spreading cat fur in their air space, I could just claim Eden Alternative or that it is a very realistic brooch not actually a real, live kitten or even better, a really neat Happy Meal toy. I have dozens and one more small furry shape on my desk isn’t going to ruffle any feathers. I told LB that I would even stuff my pockets with kitty litter for the baby and it could ride around in my pocket after it got tired of entertaining me. She didn’t buy it; she won’t bring it to work. LB is mean.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


I am older and wiser this year. I will not blindly inflict the misogynistic whims of the fashion industry on myself or let them defeat my fragile sense of self, and I will not spend too much for an ego enhancing bathing suit that, if past history is any indication, will only see the light of day once or twice all summer.

I should have made a rule that if I was going to go out to the store at all that I had to wear sandals because it has been proven in laboratory studies that wearing socks while trying on swim wear can cause an extra twenty pounds to form out of spite; It doesn’t matter how flattering the suit is, if you’re wearing knee socks while you are wearing it, you're going to look chubby - a lot of that extra weight comes from your brain turning to mush and dribbling down to your thighs after you have flipped through racks and racks of spandex bandanas in sizes 0-2 and after you begin to wonder that maybe you took a wrong turn and ended up in the toddler suit section by mistake and once you know the truth that your figure is more like that of an 18 month old then an 18 year old you will find yourself drawn to the nearby Hagen Daz display. Do not shop for swim suits in a store that also stocks ice cream!

Wal-Mart. Bathing Suits. If you were wondering what they did with all the burkas we “liberated” the Afghan women from – this is where they ended up. Even I do not want to go to the beach in a burka! I have some pride and a good rack so it’s not like I want to hide all of me, just most of me... maybe a bikini style burka would be the right choice? I wonder if I could go to the beach in a floor length skirt and a bikini top? I could use it as a cover up and a beach umbrella? but, nothing says “I’m Fat!” like a huge cover-up. So. Moving on. I was going to have to do this stealth style.

Me and my inner voice go to Wal-Mart to gas up Minnie. I hate Wal-Mart but I love their cheap gas. I like to think that they are holding a bunch of orphan Saudi princes at a Days Inn in Dubui, forcing them to produce cheap crude oil 18 hours a day for $23 a barrel.

Inner Voice – Go inside!

Me – Why? I hate Wal-Mart. I want to go home.

Inner Voice – Look! over there! new Weekly World News”?

Me – Ohhhh! “Worlds Fattest Cat meets Bat Boy!” Wait! Why is this magazine rack in with the...

Inner Voice - Cackle

Me - Bathing Suits!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Inner Voice – Oh! Look Bathing Suits! Don't you need a new bathing suit?

Me – No. I don’t. I found my last year’s suit. I’m good suit wise.

Inner Voice – Look stumpy, I didn’t want to do this but (shows photo of self in last year’s suit)

Me – My eyes!

Inner Voice – Boy leg style shorts aren’t for everyone. More specifically, not for you. Think knee length skirt! Think wet suit! Think spandex burka!

Shopping for bathing suits at Wal-Mart is an exercise in pain. Oddly, even with the fun house mirrors in the changing rooms, the unflattering lighting and the less then empowering atmosphere? its possible to actually find a suit that may look decent in real life - because if it can try it in that environment and not reflexively burst into tears? buy it! If all else fails they also sell Hagen Daz.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Clean Sweep

I waited to do my spring cleaning. Call it my Summer Sweep.

I have family coming and I thought that since they were actually going to see my house I might want to lose some of that winter weight, get rid of the tracked in snow and ice and make room for the tracked in sand and pool water. I like slurries, in their way they act as a cleaning agent and kind of, more or less, a little bit sort of keep the kitchen floor from getting too filthy. No, not really, the floor is filthy and I think that there is some sort of invisable tree that is still dropping leaves because I can not keep ahead of the piles of leaves on my floor. I’m also pretty sure that Dogger is working on a garden in my entry way because that is the only way to explain the amount of soil that makes its way in there.

Once you start cleaning its hard to stop. I decided that I was going to do this in an organized manner. I wasn’t going to flit from scene of horror to scene of horror; I was going to finish one scene of horror time and I was not going to let myself just move the mess from one room to another - I was going to throw things away and not just repackage the mess for some later clean out.

I had to let go of my idea to see if dust bunnies could be spun into useable thread, I was also going to see if I could score my own evil troll. I needed my own evil troll to "force" me to spin my dust bunnies into thread and then have the troll somehow turn the dust bunny thread into gold. News Flash : Dust Bunnies Are Not Useful - FAUX News could not spin dust bunnies into anything useful. This made me sad. I had been hoping for a second career as a dust bunny artist, really it came down to the fact I don’t own a spinning wheel, have access to an evil troll, or much to my shock, possess enough dust bunnies to make it profitable even if I did have access to the needed spinning wheel and evil troll. It turned out I am too good a housekeeper. Right.

I was not going to let the scope of the job get in my way. I said “Okay. I’m going to start on the upstairs and move my stuff to the downstairs bedroom and then I’m going to turn Camp Knotty Pine back into my guest room!”. I then clapped my hands together and said “BREAK” as the day wore on I could have used cheer leaders. It’s a very unfun activity, I don’t care how many people talk about how housework is fun or a “treasure hunt” or a great opportunity to exercise - in practice, it sucks.

What I really hate about it is it’s a lot like any other home improvement project. Once you get started and finished one little part , everything else suddenly looks like ass so you have to something to it and it just leads to even more work and you end up taking on much more work then you had originally planned. I was just hoping to achieve what passes for “Before” on my home improvement shows and ended up with “Surgical Suite #3" and I’m not even finished yet! I have a bathroom, a hallway and the whole kitchen to go! Work is yucky and unless whatever you cleaning is really, really, really dirty - you aren’t going to be able to tell you did anything to it! I mean, it’s not that I would consciously let my house my get so bad that it would make it so that when I did finally clean it that I could tell... but it doesn’t hurt. I like instant gratification.

Sunday, May 22, 2005


Saturday, May 21, 2005


Friday, May 20, 2005

Friday Cat Blogging

Tanning Cat. Posted by Hello
Time of Death

You are pronounced dead, which for some reason I always see as “So and thus was pronounced at 13:48, De.Ed. Dead d-e-a-d.” . Military time is used, if you die at 12:23am it would be posted as 00:23. Actually, you don’t “die” you expire and then it’s not as though they were always with you when you died. ToD is a rough estimate and sometimes you are declared whenever the Doc or Nurse gets to you to pronounce you dead – so if you really died at 5:36, it doesn’t matter because no one knew you were dead until 7:12, at which time they screamed for a nurse and she came to the room and said “Oh, Time of Death, lets see, Um. 7:16am”.

Back when I had to call nurses stations to ask questions or get the time of death or which funeral home at come for the body, I would ask “When did Mrs. So and So pass?” because the nurses were close to the residents and if it just happened I wouldn’t call up there and say “Hey, hire yew, what was Mrs. So and So time of death?”, that wouldn’t be very sensitive of me. I would make those calls if I had saw a gurney and a cheap black suit pass by my office – I often had to escort said cheap suit and gurney to go pick up the resident. In years past at that nursing home if a resident died the practice was to move the other residents up and out and put them in their rooms and close their doors so they wouldn’t have to see the gurney and the cheap black suit.

That works to a point. I mean if the resident died 11-7 chances are they wouldn’t show up until 7-3 with the gurney and the cheap black suit and that gurney and cheap black suit was going to be in the hall way while everyone was awake and moving around and they are going to want to go for breakfast not get locked up in their rooms until the coast was clear. Those cheap black suits glow in the dark and their gurneys make noise and it just wasn’t worth the trouble after a while… we stopped it. The facility didn’t use gurneys ourselves, and if you saw or heard a gurney it meant that someone was coming back from the hospital after going out 911 or were being admitted from the hospital or they were going out 911 to the hospital or they were dead - and any or all of these broke up the tedium and gave everyone something to talk about. To be honest, when Mrs. So and So died, chances are she had been dieing for a while and the fact that she had died would not come as a huge surprise to any of her neighbors, unless she just up and died out of nowhere - usually of a “massive” stroke or “massive” heart attack. It’s called a “massive” if it kills you. Those come as a surprise and everyone would say “Well, she seemed okay…”

I did hate those guys in the cheap suits though. Cheap, shiny polyester suits. The guys seemed kind of cheap and shiny too, walking petrochemical spills in bad shoes. One of them talked to me one day. I got roped into taking him upstairs and he broke all kinds of laws of convention by speaking to me in the elevator. I had taken a lot of these guys on their way and not one of them had spoken to me. I took them where they were going and then took off to make sure my office door was closed for his trip back. I did not want to see him again. This one time though, I don’t know if it took him longer or I was too fast to run an errand out in the building but I ran into him with his full gurney. He talked to me again. I nodded and tried to get away and he started singing “On The Road Again, I can’t wait to get on the road again!”. Ew. So freaking traumatic I remember it to this day.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The “No More Jennifer Lynch’s” Rule

WASHINGTON - The military would need congressional approval before putting women in new direct combat roles under a bill approved by a House committee, its Republican sponsors say.

…But Democrats said it was unclear whom the provision would affect and argued it could drastically impact the way the services operate, especially in wartime. …
…President Bush requested $442 billion for defense for the budget year that begins Oct. 1, excluding money to pay for wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. ..
…The House bill, like the Senate's version, envisions creating a $50 billion fund for the conflicts for next year -- but provides no money for it. ..
…The measure also calls for increasing the military by 10,000 Army soldiers and 1,000 Marines, boosting pay grades for uniformed personnel by 3.1 percent and permanently providing all Reserve and Guard members’ access to military health care services…
…Those units provide infantry, armor and artillery units with equipment, ammunition, maintenance and other supplies in combat zones. The Army started allowing women to staff such support posts last year and says it is complying with the 1994 policy…

from The Dallas Morning News

I suppose that telling service minded girls and women to just stay home and roll bandages and dance with the Men at the USO makes sense to some people… Okay, it doesn’t. It doesn’t make sense, it’s stupid and exclusionary and backwards. In this day of the armed services suffering continued fatalities and being unable to meet their quotas and no end to our military involvement overseas , is this really the right time to tell half the population that they are not needed to go to the aid of their country? Who will fill those slots? Where are all these extra men going to come from?

One of the women I work with died this morning. Yesterday she was at a mangers retreat meeting and was fine and this morning she didn't show up. The people at the meeting called the cops because it was so out of character for her not to show up or even to be late. The cops at first wouldn't do it because she's an adult and it had been such a short time, but they did end up going and a neighbor let them in and they found her. The woman's mother is still living and the cops called her and gave her the office number so that someone here could tell her that her daughter had died. Her Mom just called.

Twenty minutes ago they went to our offices and gave us the news one by one. I knew before her mother did.

edited to correct time of death. She died this morning not last night. I can't help it! I kept up the daily census at the nursing home and correct ToD was important to me.
TMI Theatre

Through sheer force of will, I moved past the old mosquito bite and onto a new mosquito bite – thoughtfully located so that I can itch it to my little hearts content out in public and look like I need to be treated for scabies and not like I need to be treated for some unspeakable girly parts issue.

Now, if the mosquito had gone exploring under my bra – there are many housebound virginal 41 year old male internet freaks users who would be willing to pay bug bucks through Paypal(tm) to download grainy streaming video of a chick rooting around in her bra, but even I am not that big of a hit whore and also I don’t have a web cam. If I’m going to make money off my misery I’ll have to do it old school style: By standing in front of an open window scratching myself for the passersbys. What? It’s been working for Britney Spears for the last year or so why can’t it work for me?

Protecting me from myself is my hated enemy The Band Aid. It was put one of those sticky bastards over the bite or end up with some sort of cheap blue slacks borne virus and in real life I can’t go to Princeton –Plainsboro Teaching Hospital to have House to find out the cause but only after he and his associates torment me with painful and invasive procedures to find out a little Bactrim™ was all I really needed. So, in real life, now entering Band Aid City not far from Boogie Town located at the Electric Avenue exit. Now that I can’t get to the bite, I can play with the band aid. Which is almost better. But I also have to work and be useful.

I can only be useful for so much time. Eventually I am going to slack off and begin to obsess over something – usually my split ends or checking to see if there is anything new in the last four minutes at Atrios, but today it was the band aids’ turn to torment me. It took several hours for me to get properly worked up over it, helped along no doubt by the fact I forgot the band aid was there.

When it comes to foreign objects on my body and how long it will take me to complete a search and destroy mission for them - it’s always been an out of sight out of mind thing - for example band aid on my foot? Most likely going to stay, band aid I can get to with out removing clothing or figuring out how to get my stockings off at my desk? Living on borrowed time. I totally respect what they are supposed to do and why I put it there in the first place- you know, protect from bacteria, irritants such as my clothing, me,whatever. But they must go.

I’m also thinking that if you pick at a band aid all day it is not really allowed to protect whatever it is it is there to protect – but I don’t care! I want that foreign thing gone and then I want to see what damage that foreign thing did to me while it was there. Did it leave the hated stickum? That I then feel compelled to pick at as well? did it make the skin underneath it all red? did it leave a mark?! Ahhhhhh!

It doesn’t help that all band aids are not created the same. Cheap band aids have the widest variations in quality : They either have almost no adhesive at all and thus fall off even if I’m not playing with it or they have such strong adhesive that they could be used by NASA to keep heat shields on during re-entry. In either case they are going to irritate me and as soon as I remember the band aid is there, I start jonesing to get the band aid off. Lather, rinse, repeat. All damn day.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Maxi-Dogs, Mini-Van Posted by Hello
Stem Cells getting a chance?

Where there's a GOP sponsored bill there's way . "Respect for life" must also include respect for the living. Wouldn't it be nice if we could improve the lives of actual living people?

from CNN.com
Bitches with wings

It turned into summer. It’s not all that warm, it’s not dry, the TV season isn’t completely finished yet – But. It is summer.

You know why I can say that with any degree or certainty? I have mosquito bites. I don’t even have a tan yet and I am all ready itching. I’m not enjoying summer at all so far.

And even worse one of the bites it located in such a place that I really can’t itch it in public. I could but I’m afraid that the public would get the wrong idea about what kind of itch I was scratching. So.

I just think it’s too early for those flying menaces to be out and about. Its May, we haven’t been assaulted by June bugs yet so I think that the mosquitoes have jumped the gun here a little. I want some sort of flying insect tribunal set up and the mosquitoes called to the carpet about this. I don’t think I should be suffering from mosquitoes until at least the locusts have set up shop. I blame the absent neighbors for this. If I was willing to put on a bio-hazard suit and go explore around their former back yard/bomb site I’m sure I would find the guilty standing water in question.

I have these little arguments with myself.

Me – An Itch. must scratch it! Die itch, Die!

Voice of Reason – No.

Me – Too late! Ahhhhhhh!

VoR – if you scratch it, it’s just going to continue to itch. Ignore it and it will go away.

Me – If I scratch it, it will stop itching. If I ignore it, it will itch more.

VoR – if you ignore it, you will stop irritating it and it will stop itching.

Me – I am bigger then it is. I am more irritated by it than it is irritated by me.

VoR – If you continue to scratch it, it will get infected and it will scar and you could end up getting septic.

Me – Okay. 1) Only if I break the surface, which I have not – look I’m reasonably old now and I pay attention to stuff like that. You don’t get to be this old by habitually infecting your mosquito bites, and 2) a tiny mosquito bite sized scar doesn’t faze me and 3) Septic? Only if I was immuno suppressed, which I am not. My immune system works just fine, Thank you very much.

VoR – Are you sure? Have you washed your hands recently? Do you know what is living in the fabric of your clothing? Hmmmm? You spend a lot of time with Dogger – who arguably is cleaner then a lot of dogs...

Me – Due to my diligence! Thank You Very Much!

VoR - But she is still a Dog. Dogs are walking bacteria farms. Do you know what she has planted? Hmmm? Should we even talk about The Kitty?

Me – Shut up. Besides. I have very strong will power. I can stop whenever I want to.

VoR– Okay. Stop.

Me - scratchscratchscratch

VoR – Your will power is very strong.

Me – I’m not using my will power right now. Right now I’m using my… I’m using something else.

VoR – You’re using your nails! You’re making it worse. You’re just spreading the poison…

Me – It’s not poison. It’s the substance that they insect uses as an anesthetic while it’s stabbing me and sucking my blood. Humans and things in general are allergic to that substance and thus it itches.

VoR – Septicemia, Toxic Shock. Disfigurement…

Me – Gawd! You make it sound like I’m caring the flesh eating bacteria virus around in my pockets! It’s a mosquito bite! Or maybe a spider bite or even conceivably, an ants bite. It itches now. It will go away.

VoR – It’s up to you. If you never want to be able to wear a mini skirt again…

Me – I’m 30—grumble years old! I don’t even own any mini skirts! I haven’t worn one in years! Leave me alone! Let me itch in peace!

VoR – Don’t come crying to me when they amputate your leg.

Me - !@#$%^&*() scratchscratchscratch.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Break out the funny hats

Did you know what yesterday was? I knew something was up so I went and checked out On This Day and learned that it was the anniversary of:

On May 16, 1868, the United States Senate failed by one vote to convict President Andrew Johnson as it took its first ballot on one of 11 articles of impeachment against him. (Johnson was acquitted of all charges.) Good.

On May 16, 1882, Anne O'Hare McCormick, the American journalist who became the first woman on the editorial board of The New York Times, was born. And now they have Judith Miller. I bet Ms. McCormick is rolling in her grave.

On May 16, 1990, both Sammy Davis Jr. , and Jim Henson died. Sigh

That in 1770 Marie Antoinette age 14 married the future King Louis the XVI, age 15. Which explains a lot of the bad furniture choices and impulse control issues they both shared as well as the peoples desire to chop their heads off.

That in 1920 Joan of Arc was canonized several hound rend years after her death. No fast track for her!

That in 1966 both Pet Sounds and Blonde on Blonde were released. And what year was it that Britney Spears or any other current “artist” released anything worth remembering for more then 15 minutes?

And May 16 was Pierce Brosnans’ 52nd Birthday. He’s still Remington Steele to me!

What else?

On May 16, 2001 I started on this job. On May 13th, I arrived in North Carolina.

I have worked at this job longer then I have worked at any other job I have ever held and that includes the movie theatre where it seemed I worked forever and I kept my my uniform so should I ever be asked to come to the aid of my Cinema in a national movie theatre emergency or they release another Jurassic Park which ever comes first – I will be prepaired to concess my little heart out for the cause or Jurassic Park whatever comes first and it also counts the Jack in The Box where I worked for too long for too little for morons who then they fired me because I had been there too long ( absolutely not kidding, I got fired because I was too good an employee! Or I got lazy and let someone else do drive through because I didn’t want to. YMMV) so I didn’t get to keep the uniform. In another year I will be fully vested in the state retirement fund and be able to draw funds at age 60, whether or not I still (!) (Gawd Forbid!) still work for the state. If I leave prior to that and really make the jump to the private sector I have to roll over the money and that sounds really mathy and complicated and beyond me and almost would make it worth it to stick around another year just to avoid all that complicated mathy, pensiony related stress.

So. Here I am. Four years later. I went from a 600 square foot rental beige apartment with cheapy cable to a 1462 square foot house where every single room is painted a different color and I have very groovy satellite TV; I scored the best girl dog ever, and I gave up my truck for a mini van. My cat is still the same and I’ve had three different glasses frames. Before I left Dallas, my best friends’ daughter had just celebrated her first birthday. She starts kindergarten in August.

But as I remind myself on a daily bases, Change Is Good! Long Distance phone service was invented for a reason and renting is a thousand times better then owning. Time marches on, get with the flow or be part of the pavement. Happy Thoughts, Damn it.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Where are my batteries again?

Forecasters predict active hurricane season

from CNN.com
Working Hard or Hardly Working

On Saturday I mowed both yards and discovered that the back yard looked better before I mowed it because at least wildly over grown it was green instead of brown. Dirt is not an adequate substitute for weeds, no matter how weedy and over grown the weeds may be. Ask around, weeds trump dirt in most aesthetics polls.

Later on I bathed Nephdog in the front yard. Nephdog has proven to be a popular addition to the dog line up in the neighborhood. Especially with the hard to reach 2-6 year old demographic. He has acquired during his brief run a well organized fanbase as well as an impressive online presence. He has four yahoo groups: Nephdog_Rocks, Nephdog! Nephdog is cool! And the newest Nephdog Fanfiction . He has also picked up a number of LJ groups dedicated to his worship The Church of Nephdog Community, Nephdog Lurve Community and yet another fanfiction group The Nephdog Slash Community, where I belive he is slashed with the dogs from “Dogs With Jobs”.

Since I’ve had Nephdog staying with me I have turned into the fiercest dog walker in the neighborhood. Nobody is going to bother a chick with 170 pounds of dog attached to her wrist - Its just not a good idea. I was made so brave by this discovery that I took the dogs for a long walk that included walking the dreaded Edenton. Today I was not bothered by pan handlers, meth whores or any of the other random freaks that routinely think I look like a good mark.

I had both dogs and I was really hoping that someone would ask me for money, tell me their life story or try to make me believe that they need a quarter because They Are Not On Drugs. The one time I’m all “Bother me just a little, try to intimidate me...” The street people went into hiding and the bangers are scared of dogs anyway. I was all ready to be Dirty Harriet and no dice. I was all by myself.

That was a big drag. How often am I going to be out there armed with two enormous dogs just waiting to be bothered? Of course the other day, sans dogs I got bothered at the burger place because the dim bulb at the window didn’t know that “The Guy Is Panhandling! Tell him to go away” meant that there was a guy outside his store begging and bothering his patron and I wanted him to tell the guy to step off before I was forced to give him my change. I then wished the panhandler hadn’t launched in to his spiel about how he just need a few cents because had been sleeping in the park for three nights because the shelter kicked him out because they found out he had Hep C. - while I had cash in hand. I wished I wore my hair differently so the panhandler couldn’t see SUCKER tatooed to my forehead.

See, if I had both dogs with me the pan handler would have never even started his spiel. With the dogs I could have said, if he was brave enough to not run at the sight of the dogs in the first place and still wanted money “Well, one word from me and one or the other of the dogs could be on you. If’n I were you, I think I would want the boy dog to hold me down and the girl dog to tear my throat out. This one here is the boy dog and that one here is the girl dog. The boy dog is older and has smaller teeth and he isn’t as big a dog, but he’s a lot stronger than her and he likes to play with his food. The girl dog is a bigger animal and has bigger, longer teeth and a harder jaw and she would probably kill you faster - the bad news is that neither dog likes to share or waiting their turn and the resulting dog fight would just end up tearing you up anyway. Do you need something from me?”. I’m thinking I would still have my dollar - but the guy would still have Hep C and would still be sleeping outside and, and... it’s probably better for my karma I didn’t have the dogs with me.

Sunday, May 15, 2005


Saturday, May 14, 2005


Friday, May 13, 2005

Friday Cat Blogging

Kitty gets comfortable. Posted by Hello

So. Tired.

Kitty woke me up very, very early this morning. So early I didn’t mind at first because I assumed after I looked at the clock and it was all of 4:18am, that I would just go back to sleep. Right.

So. Tired.

I didn’t. Kitty followed his original wake up call a few minutes later by smashing a frame and shattering its glass and really waking me up and the neighbors and the dogs down the street – and he’s lucky he didn’t also alert the dogs downstairs.

Dogs? You say plural dog? Yes.

Did I mention being really, really, tired?

Nephdog is staying with me for the weekend. And Thursday and Friday andMonday. Fortunately, the dogs downstairs were not as woken up as I was and the neighbors and the dogs down the street. How would you react to having to tip toe around searching for broken glass at 5:15 am? Yeah, I thought so. Anyway. I would have liked it if at least the resident dog had made any effort to bark at the sound, growel a little. Nothing. Not a growl not a whimper. I doubt if Dogger even rolled over. It’s her house damn it! She could have at least pretended to care if things are getting smashed in it..

Zzzzzzzz.I am awake damn it!

This is the first time that I’ve had Nephdog in the house for an extended time that he didn’t stay in Camp Knotty Pine. His session there hasn’t started yet and I’m not a big enough person to share. Also? I didn’t want to have the time or the inclination to get Camp Knotty Pine all cleaned up and dog proofed. If it works out with the dogs sharing the office room, I may not have to send Nephdog to camp at all , Dogger seems to like having him room with her and Nephdog so far, seems to be dealing with Dogger pretty well too. I think it helps that Dogger is in her crate and Nephdog is out of her reach most of the time. My computer lives there too and a VCR and a TV and I don’t want to see them turned into dog toys. So, Dogger remains crated and I get to keep my consumer electronics.

Zzzzzzzz. Uh? What? Oh!

One of the dogs to smells. I’m pretty sure it is the dog that does not live there full time. Nephdog is getting a bath tonight whether he wants one or not, he will learn the adage that Dogger learned early – that Cleanliness is Next to Godliness and if we can not achieve Godliness, we can at definitely achieve cleanliness or at least we can smell clean.

I’m hoping that the dogs can give each other a little support while they are together, Nephdog is still reeling from his brother dogs’ death and Dogger is freaking out since the bird harassed her. I think they both need a little peer to peer counseling right now. Brosky said Nephdog has been crying every night and is losing fur – but I didn’t hear any dog crying last night and he seemed as furry this morning as he did last night and from past experience, when Nephdog wants to get your attention in the middle of the night, he gets it and carries it around in his mouth. He does not give up and he does not like being ignored – all Three Tenors doing vocal warm ups to with accompaniment of the USC marching band wouldn’t be as loud as Nephdog at 2:30am. The only time he made noise so far was when he wanted to go back outside and pee after he had all ready been outside to pee this morning or he just wanted another to get chance to chase the feral cats away from their breakfast. He got a chance to pee but the cats had all ready moved on the next stop of their movable feast.

Kitty and Nephdog got nose to nose this morning. Kitty won.

So. Tired.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Dogger needs a licensed professional

Dogger has now exhibited fear of:

Pine Trees
Large Shrubs
Overhead power lines
Audible bird noise
Low flying planes
Vaper trails
The sky.
Being touched by children, it makes her shimmy like a back up dancer.

We went for our walk yesterday and it became clear just after we left the house that I am going to have to get her a tread mill. Girl friend dog is not making it easy. She had been doing so well. I mean she had been doing better then before we visited my parents but not as well as she had been doing the prior two years when she appeared to be afraid of nothing and a friend of everyone.

Now? Now she tried to dig a hole to China while we were in the middle of the street because she was going to have to walk past a house with a large shrub and even worse, there were over head power lines! And the sound of birds and a crowd of children! Dogger was in a bad place. I finally got her to get up off the street and up on her feet and drag her past the shrubbery and the children when she noticed that those over head power lines were not going away and were indeed going to follow us for the entire time we were outside.

After she was thoroughly adored by the kids she seemed a little better or at least less acutely in the midst of a full blown freak out. Maybe it was good for her know that she to be outside and not be at the mercy of the winged demons that haunt her waking hours. Everything seemed okay. Almost normal. We kept going. She was mildly hurried at the rec center but she might have needed to use the grass and was in a hurry to find the right space. This is okay. She stayed pretty intense about leaving the park while we were there but she was at least not trying to hide under the turf – I took this as an improvement over the melt down she had earlier in the walk when she was being tormented by the evil door blocking shrub and the nasty over head power lines.

We went through the newer neighborhood where there are no over head lines. She looked for them though and switched her anxiety over to the pine trees. Damn them for being so tall and giving comfort to the winged demons!

She did even better as we headed up the home stretch. The power lines were back but they were hidden from view in the trees - not pine trees and she was okayer. She still picked up the pace as we got closer to the house but she may have just been hungry.

We got home and I fed her. After dinner I thought that I would take her into the back yard so she could run around. Yeah. Run around in the back yard. I put her in the yard and she ran behind the shed. I made her get out and put a tomato brace in to block her entry to the behind the shed area – so she just sat by the gate. The whole time she was out there.

I went online. I would think that somewhere on the internets there I would be some explanation of her sudden fall into Lake Sybil - but there was nothing. I did find a forum dedicated to the Victims of Paranormal Rape – odd, since I was searching for “signs of mental illness in dogs”. Maybe dogs are the primary victims of paranormal rape, I didn't stick around long enough to find out. I didn’t want to spend any more time there then I needed to. I spend enough time on forums dedicated to TV shows, I do not need to spend even more time with crazy people.

I guess its time to call the Vet. That’ll be a fun phone call…

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Big Brother says "Show me your papers!"

And you thought that government ID was just a communist thing! No! Not. Any. More. The Proto-fascists in the Bush regime like them too!

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The Senate unanimously approved an $82 billion spending package Tuesday evening to pay for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and other projects, including border control and tsunami relief.

full story here

Included in the "border control and tsunami relief" portion of the funds are a few bucks for a new program called REAL ID - a fun new federal program to help track you through your drivers licence! while making identity theft faster and easier! Yay rethuglicans!! Boo Democrats for being snively, backboneless losers for voting for this. Shame on them. Go here to read about it.

from CNN.com and Schneier.com
Army to order 1-day break from recruiting

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The U.S. Army plans to stop recruiting activities for one day this month to review procedures that its 7,500 recruiters use, an Army official said.
The procedure is highly unusual for the Recruiting Command, but "safety stand-downs" are routinely ordered in military aviation following a series of accidents that appear to have a common thread.

From CNN.com
Today he would be called an "Activist Judge

Los Angeles, May 11 -- Citing what he called "improper Government conduct shielded so long from public view," the judge in the Pentagon papers trial dismissed today all charges against Dr. Daniel Ellsberg and Anthony J. Russo Jr.

Imagine, calling out the Admin for lieing to the people about something? what has happened to our press?

from On This Day
Blah, Blah, Blah

The Governor wrote us state employees a letter in honor of “State Employee Recognition Week”. We’re all honored he took a break from his busy schedule of NASCAR pandering to say a few words to the troops – not those troops, he panders to them too, but to the Droopiest Troops of them all – The State Employees. I think this is going to be another year that we get time in stead of pay raises. I can dig that, really, I like being able to blow off Friday afternoons – of course, I’m blowing off those Friday afternoons so I can go sit at the corner and wash windshields, but still, Bonus Time! It’s not the same as an actual bonus but its better then no raise and no time at all.

Let’s see, there was some national fallout after that Babist Church up in the western part of the state kicked out its democrats last week. It even made the local paper here. I’m surprised we haven’t heard more cases like this, after all, Shrub requires loyalty oaths everywhere he goes, it’s not at all surprising that The Base is picking up that habit. I mean if Shrub can do it and get away with it why can’t the suckers who sign them get away with it too? Nothing is going to come of it. Nobody cares and the libruls aren’t smart enough or motivated enough to make it a real issue or punish the Babists for doing it... We’re gutless and way too Free To Be You and Me about rethugs thuggy way of doing things like this. We don’t want to hurt their feelings or make them mad or do anything to cause them to rethink their behaviors. No, we just want them to know we are disappointed with them. Maybe if we get really unhappy we may stomp our little feet and tell them they hurt our feelings – at which the rethugs throw at rock at Hillary Clinton and we rush off to administer group hugs and then sit around and munch on macrobiotic vegetarian ice cream and talk about the problem. We treat the rethuglicans like day care ladies treat recalcitrant two year olds and wonder why they aren’t more afraid of pissing us off.

We have no “wraith”. Wraith is so wraithy and judgmental it doesn’t make for a caring and sharing environment of mutual respect and understanding. We aren’t into judgmental behaviors or casting blame or handing out punishment. We’re into love and kindness and acceptance. Group hugs and spiritual retreats to get in touch with our inner child so we can buy him hand made wooden toys from Finland and non gender specific onesies from Tibet. We think the rethugs are capable of feeling guilt about what they do. You have to have a conscience and a soul to properly feel “guilt”. The rethugs have neither and the sooner we accept that and accept the fact that no amount of group therapy or anger management classes or any other lovey dovey touchy feely punishment alternative is going to change that and begin to treat them like the soulless creatures that they are the better off we will be. You don’t try to be friends with the rabid dawg, you don’t try to understand the rabid dog, you don’t waste time getting in touch with the rabid dawgs feelings about being a rabid dawg - You destroy it before it destroys you.

We have accepted too much its time for our leadership to get out of the nursery and into the ring and start handing out corporal punishment for rethuglican bullshit. We’re been spanked so many times and changed our behaviors so many times at rethuglican request, why can’t we learn from any of it and get into the ass kicking business ourselves?

Jon Stewart can’t be the only one to bitch publicly and don’t even mention Air “No One Is Listening” America. Bitching to each other doesn’t get it done we have to bitch at Them

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

I never learn. When you see a co-worker first thing in the morning and they reply to your “Good Morning!” with a deep sigh, do not go on to ask them how their weekend was; nod and smile and pretend you didn’t hear and just keep moving! because they will tell you about their awful weekend and they will assume that because you asked about their awful weekend ( even if you really only said it in passing and out of habit and were just trying to be polite and did not expect or desire to hear anything past “Good, it was good!” even if it wasn’t, or even a quick, “I’m so glad to be back at work!” if it was really bad, or a rushed “It Was Busy!” if it really blew ) that you must be actually curious about their awful weekend and they will tell you in painful detail just exactly how many ways and for what reasons their weekend was awful. Sharing the news that your suspect that your dog as PTSD really becomes rather anti-climatic and they won’t care! and will open you to their derision because you dared to have a weekend that didn’t suck as much as theirs did and you risk them getting mad at you because you didn’t also spend the weekend under the bed in a fetal position whimpering. And P.S? no one cares about your dogs emotional state and might actually start laughing when you tell them. I hate people.

In closing, keep the morning greetings to co-workers to curt nods – these tend to keep your co-workers from giving you too much exposition about their lives outside work.

Do Ask, Do Tell

This tells me that once you drink the GOP kool aid that the brain damage is sure to follow. We all know that Kim Jong-Il is a crazy person, but now he’s an armed crazy person. What to do, what to do? The crazy person has his very own WoMD and he’s mad at us! He is, not to beat a dead horse here, crazy! And he has Nukes! True, Shrub is also crazy and armed, but so far the only Nuklure option he’s raised lately is about nuking the filibuster. What to do, what to do. We don’t have the troops to go an invade another country right now or to go to the aid of one of our allies or even to protect the mothership and the Pentagon has even admitted it that we don’t have the forces on hand that we would need if something really bad happened, like a crazy person nuking one of his neighbors for playing their music too loud or for being South Korea - and the armed forces recruiters are not making their monthly enlistment goals…

Dear Diana,

I appreciate your interest in becoming Local Board Member with the United States Selective Service System (SSS). In order to proceed with this process please complete the SSS Potential Board Member Information Form. On the Oath of Office and Waiver of Pay page please complete just the top half.

Upon receipt of the completed forms, I will contact you by telephone to conduct and informal interview… I appreciate your patriotism and interest in serving your community and your nation by serving with the Selective Service System.


The SSS for us folks, whose gender precluded them from having to register on our 18th birthday, is the government acronym for The Draft Board. I filled out something online months ago and then forgot about it. It arrived in the mail last Thursday and I looked at the envelope and said “Selective Service?! The Hell? I’m too old ! and I’m skill-less and too old! WTF is this about”. Then I remembered. I mailed my application back today. That breeze you feel? is the draft.

Monday, May 9, 2005

anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley was a guest on The Alan Colmes Show, a FOX News radio program.

AC: "You had sex with animals?"
NH: "Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule."
AC: "I'm not so sure that that is so."
NH: "You didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?"
AC: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"
NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality... Welcome to domestic life on the farm..."

transcript from News Hounds

or you could go to FOX and hear the audio file

lifted from Fark
Dogger Little

I thought Dogger had done lost her mind. She couldn’t say where she left , I don’t know what she did with it and it had been gone long enough that I’m not sure when she first lost it. It was hard to tell she had lost her mind, she doesn’t use it all that often so when it turned up missing I was a little surprised. Its not as though we watch Jeopardy together and she’s never been able to pick out the bad guy on Law and Order . Now? she’s wearing a little tin foil hat and watching the sky.

Dogger used to like going for walks and being outside, Now - not so much.

Me - Okay Dogger! Time for walky!

Dogger - We all ready went. I all ready went for a walk. Don’t you remember?

Me - You haven’t been out since this morning. I took you out to pee this morning...

Dogger - And I walked in the yard. See? Walk accomplished!

Me - Lets go for a walk. ( expectantly) Walkies! Go for walk? Ahhhh! Wanna go for a WALK?

Dogger - ( deep sigh) I’m fine! I don’t need to pee. I have a huge bladder. Don’t you really want to stay inside and watch TV together? We could watch Animal Planet...

Me - No. No TV time until after you have exercised! I need a walk. You need a walk. We are going on a walk.

Dogger -FINE I hope you are wearing track shoes.

So we go. Dogger is fine for a while. We could be on a Purina commercial. She sits, she stays, she heels, we visit with the neighbor kids. Dogger gets adored. Dogger is fine - right up until we get to the rec center. Dogger now wants to run. She wants to get to the grassy area and pee and then she wants to leave right now if I don’t want to leave the rec center she will make like one of Nanooks’ sled dogs and just drag my non-cooperative ass behind her for as long as she needs to until we have cleared the evil rec center. Or maybe it isn’t the rec center. She may be trying to escape the shadow of the radio tower that she just seemed to notice. Its been there the whole time she’s been here and she never noticed it. Whatever is scaring her though, comes from above. She never looked up in her life and now she’s like Mulder scanning the heavens for The Truth!

Its not much better at home . Dogger has taken to hiding under my azalia bush in the front yard. I put her out there so she can watch the neighbors and see the cars go by and generally just kind of hang out. She did well out there, did being the operative word She used to spend her time in the yard napping under the tree, snoozing on the side walk, sleeping in the sun and now she’ curls herself into a ball under the azalia bush. I noticed that she was a little uncomfortable in the back yard, but I chalked that up to the Tree Branch of Doom hanging over the back yard. I’m uncomfortable out there too.

Is this what is scaring her? is it some deep, ancient Dog Knowledge creeping to the surface? Is she remembering some long ago dog grandmother that got crushed by a falling limb? Posted by Hello

We went to my parents house over the weekend, far away from the rec center and the radio tower and the Limb of Doom and Dogger went into a fugue state every time we tried to take her outside. My parents don’t think she’s scanning the sky for the radio tower or falling tree limbs, they think she’s looking for birds. They think a Mockingbird abused her and that is why she’s all freaked out. Dogger isn’t crazy, Dogger has PTSD!

Sunday, May 8, 2005



Saturday, May 7, 2005

New Boat!! Posted by Hello

Friday, May 6, 2005

Friday Cat Blogging

Kitty being Kitty Posted by Hello
I want a detailed invoice and I want it now...

U.S Defence Budget will equel The Rest Of the Worlds, COMBINED within 12 months and yet out troops are still with out proper armor? WTF.

from Janes.Com and The Raw Story
Oh, the humanity

Today is the anniversery of The Hindenburg Disaster

I am a disaster fangirl.
Is this how "it" starts?

In a speech earlier this week Dick Cheney describes democrats as "The Other Faith" and a Babist Church in North Carolina (!!!) kicked out its Democrats. Fellow NCers, damn! it happened in Waynesville?! why wasn't this in the paper? on the news? go here to see what we can do about this travesty.

What "other faith"? is he trying to say all democrats "play for the other team"? or that we don't "go to the same church"? I've heard those phrases before and I know what they mean.

He could not possibly mean that Democrats are the people who don't worship George W. Bush or at the alter of the RNC? I remember this thing about "thou shalt not worship false idols" and "thou shalt have no other Gods before me", what happened to those? do they not count any more?

Did Cheney start up some new faith and not tell the rest of us? I am so confused. If so, I would like to ask those people to please call themselves "Bush Khristians" to better delineate them from the rest of us just plain Christians.

from Atrios and The Daily Kos
Good. Morning.

With the new glasses came the need for new clip on sunglasses. Two weeks ago when I started my frame search I went to Frame Store Number 1 and looked at their selection of clip on’s and I was shocked. $30 for clip on sunglasses? They were not even kind of ashamed of themselves. It’s not as though their clip on frames they were selling were made by blind Tibetan Monks or are in any way Fair Trade clip on sunglasses. I could tell because they weren’t playing “world music” and I didn’t notice any guilt inducing hand woven wall hangings or genuwine hand made pottery made by third world children with no hands or any depressing poster made from recycled paper informing us of third world poverty and how much better The Third world would be if if only the current crooked Junta didn’t have to worry about paying the World Bank debts piled up from the last crooked Junta.

The current crooked Junta isn’t going to and can’t pay the debts, it’s just the idea that they owe so much money! It makes them feel bad, it effects their little bitty crooked Junta self esteem! Because if the WTO would just forgive those debts - Boy Howdy! Would they have a higher standard of living! They wouldn’t be a third world nation at all they would be Belgium! - So I think Frame Store Number 1 clip on sunglasses were just over priced. Wal-Marts clip on sunglasses are also made by blind Tibetan Monks but they aren’t at all Fair Trade clip on sunglasses, they are Unfair Slavery clip on sunglasses – but I can afford Unfair Slavery product and I can’t afford Free Trade. Poor people get just get screwed and end up screwing each other.

Anyway, on the home front.

Kitty is a morning person. He wakes up and takes Dogger out and picks up the paper and then makes us all breakfast. Not really. He shreds paper and knocks things off shelves until I finally get up. If he’s cold he sits on my head while he knocks things off my bedside table until I wake up. I search around in the dark to find where he put the clock and mentally boot him down the stairs.

This morning, post clock finding, I finished my morning twalet and tried to get dressed, Kitty sleeps on my clothes all night so they are always warm and fuzzy with cat hair when I put them on. In January it’s nice, in August its insult to injury. This morning, they were a little dampish. “This is different” I said to myself. “Kitty did you pee on Mommy’s clothes? You know I’ll have to kill you?” a quick sniff exonerated him from the peeing charges. I pulled my slacks over and it looked like there was a sock on them. “Where did that sock come from?” I looked at Kitty who was now curled up on the pillow. “Kitty? Did you weave Mommy a sock?” Kitty yawned at me and left. It wasn’t a sock. Kitty barfed on my slacks.

Kitty doesn’t barf. Kitty’s’ GI problems are lower not upper! Ew! Ew! What was I going to do now? I don’t want getting dressed in the morning to morph into A Ready To Wear pick your own adventure book! I lay out what I’m going to wear the night before and that is what I wear the next day. I kept a stiff upper lip and continued on getting dressed and went downstairs to my dresser to find another pair of slacks. The replacement slacks did not go well with the pre existing outfit choice. I told myself the fashion police don’t have a substation in Raleigh and it’s not as though I was going to have to face the paparazzi when I take out the dog and pick up the paper. I needed to snap out of it and deal. I can deal. I did deal. I changed clothes three times and mentally figured out how much postage it would cost to send Kitty to the moon or a third world nation, but I dealt.

By the time I got to work I thought I really deserved a cookie.

Thursday, May 5, 2005


Its 5-5-5!! Okay, so its just me. Happy Cinco De Mayo then.
The Right Idea

"New Group Opposing Government Control of TV Launched today; TV Watch to promote use of 'Parental Controls'".

Guaranteed to piss of fundy parents who want to be able to use hours of unsupervised TV watching as a easy child care alternative to actually having to provided that supervision themselves - the segment of society to cheap to hire a nanny, prefers to live in Nanny State .

To learn more go to Television Watch.Org.
ABC Bends over for Right Wring Hate Group

Boycott ABC! Go here. Remember when the UCC wanted to run an ad and ABC said it didn't run ads from religious groups? follow the link and read what America Blog says. Become angry. Email ABC at netaudr@abc.com and use the word BOYCOTT frequently. If you are a part of an attractive demographic, share that. Talk about their advertisers. Talk about not buying those products.

Looking At the World Through New Colored Glasses

Wow. Everything looks so new and shiny. It doesn’t matter how careful I am with my glasses, how anal I am about using only the “right” things to wash them - only clear water, no soap, no windex no questionable towels - they always end up scratched, dinged, and cloudy. New glasses are a revelation.

The new frames are smaller then the older ones that were larger then the ones before them and considerably larger then the frames I got during the big Tiny, Tiny Frame Revolution of the late nineties where in the glasses frame industry attempted make all of us buy contacts whether we wanted them or not, they just stuck ear peices on them and called them "glasses". Mine looked a lot like the tiny specs that Teacher wore in that Helen Keller movie. I saw the style as they started coming into stores as reading glasses and I thought they were some new collectable miniatures or glasses for preemies. Then, I wanted them. Badly.

So, I got some. Paid way too much. I’ve been over this here before. Paid too much, got too little. Blah, Blah Stand Up For Yourselfcakes.

But, I looked so cool (after I could finally see through them) I could swallow the price. It's hard enough wearing glasses in this Lasix crazy world - you aren’t going to get cool - you know what they say about girls who wear glasses and boys? That’s bull shit, by the way, but still coolness with coke bottle lenses is difficult to achieve. You really have to work on your attitude,cool maybe, "cute", the most you may be able to achieve some sort of ironic cuteness when you’re wearing glasses. Frame styles change so infrequently in frame fashin world, that unless you need new glasses , if you are lucky enough you can catch a change in frames so you can at least look like you’ve being paying attention to what is in. This from a woman who once wore bright red frames. They worked for Sally Jesse... Now, I’m aiming higher - Tiny Fey!


New glasses. I put them on and the tech told me they looked very nice. She asked

Tech - What do for a living?
Me - I file
Tech - I mean, do you work with other people?
Me - Yeah.
Tech - They’re going to notice a difference.
Me - Okay...

I looked at myself in the mirror and admired myself. Then I noticed that I had some how ended up with Groucho glasses. I looked a lot like Brook Shields circa 1999. I was taken aback. Brookie circa 1999 is not a look I wanted. I needed to do something about this. I went looking for a map of the mall. I thought there had been some sort of Ye Olde Eyebrow Waxery wagon thing one other time when I had been there. I lucked out they were on the map and they had achieve storehood.

They were open and still taking reservations. I was a little worried, I mean if I had been comfortable being Brooke Shields circa 1999 , I most likley would not be comfortable being Nicole Kidman circa 2005. I worried but I signed in, and they called my name; By the time the woman finished (my brows were so out of control, I was a “reconstruction”) I looked cute even at a distance! I don’t look as though you suddenly grew another head or anything! I looked great. Go Me.

Wednesday, May 4, 2005

On This Day...

On May 4, 1970 Kent State made the news. These children were killed, Allison Krause age 19, William Schoeder age 19, Sandra Scheuer age 20, Jeffery Miller age 20. Who was shooting at you when you were 19 or 20 years old? Never let anyone tell you Nixon wasn't all that bad. He should be rotting in hell.


lyrics by Neil Young

Tin soldiers and Nixon coming,
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drumming,
Four dead in Ohio.

Gotta get down to it
Soldiers are gunning us down
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her
And found her dead on the ground
How can you run when you know?

Gotta get down to it
Soldiers are gunning us down
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her
And found her dead on the ground
How can you run when you know?

Tin soldiers and Nixon coming,
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drumming,
Four dead in Ohio.

It really happened. It is more then just a song on the oldies station.

From Thrashers Wheat

(idea lifted from Blondesense)
Victory over the forces of Evil

Or, it’s so nice when your own body finally decided that co-operation is a good thing. I had another appointment to give blood yesterday and I really needed the body and I to be on the same page health-wise. I needed it to have enough iron floating around to sink in the solution at the Red Cross. Last week I got kicked to the curb by the lab tech after my traitorous blood floated around like a balloon. It was really embarrassing to go in there, read the literature, wait around, get called in and then have to slink out only minutes after walking in.

I worked hard to make sure it didn’t happen again, or really I ate hard to make sure it didn’t happen again. Cows were not safe with me. I ate so much red meat over the course of the week I began to fear daylight and wooden stakes, I also consumed enough of my daily vitamin to cause me to live in the future. I am blogging from 2105!

As I was sitting there in the chair thing all hooked up, the machine kept making really rude noises. The techs that were standing around preventing me from reading my book and zooming out (thank you Techs!) kept messing the tomato spike they had in my arm and making these comments how I was “not bleeding”. I said “I am bleeding. There is a spike in my arm and a red tubey thing, trust me, I’m bleeding”. No. Not enough. They kept touching the spike and I was not enjoying it, I do not want my veins toyed with. I’m fine with the needle but once its there; I don’t want it messed with. They finally decided that they needle was touching the “wall of the vein” and that’s why it wasn’t getting enough blood to keep the machine happy. I really didn’t want to know that. I don’t want to visualize my veins. I’m thin and pale; I visualize my veins just fine thank you very much. After much spike shifting they decided that what I needed to do was roll the gripper thing in my hand instead of gripping it. Problem solved. I filled the bag up, they unhooked me and I got my orange juice and I went home.

Dogger even got her walk. Dogger didn’t know what to do. She hasn’t had a proper walk since Tuesday of last week and she had given up hope of ever walking again. Okay, she’s a drama queen – but she did have a point. I walked her despite the fact I was now down a pint of blood and had to work all day. I pitied me too.

I was feeling better later and Dogger even got her weekly bath. She did not get her monthly flea med preventive, thank you very much online pet med place. She sat in he crate post bath and itched herself at me. I know it was on purpose because she put on her Mournful Dog face. I told you, total drama queen. I was able to get her delivered from heart Worms though and that was nice.

I’m supposed the pick up my new frames this week. It’s been two weeks now and I’m really getting excited about them. I’m trying to work through my buyers’ remorse issues. I mean, what if they look really stupid? And by extension, I look stupid with them on? I always want a change when I buy new frames but what if this time I changed too much?! Dogger is not the only drama queen in the house.

Tuesday, May 3, 2005

So. You moved south...

A lot of people have done it. You escaped the rust belt for the bible belt and you're starting to fit in. Its scary but its true.

However, you still a little scared of the "people" you see at the flea market, buying money orders from the post office or milling around the E.R waiting for their cousin to get his head stiched up. Missouri Mule explains us all to you.

lifted from Blondesense
Ask! The Answer! Dogs!

Hey dogs, who's your vet? Vet's always guilt you into
lots of extra charges. Just tell me it is not XXXX in Raleigh. That is where my cat goes.

The True King of Argentina

Dear Nicholas - TTKOA,

No, Dogger and The Kitty go to a Banfeild at a Petsmart while Winston goes to an "un-named" vet in North Raleigh( not "XXX"). Dogger and The Kitty are the ones getting reamed by our vet. We thought it was a nice, inexpensive vet but that was just a smoke screen. Mama all ready is naughty and buys Doggers flea meds online, now she's going to buy the Heart Worm stuff there too. Mama also needs to learn to be more forceful with the Vet. Thank you for writing in! Mama says FYI "Gental Care" in Cary as they are very, very, very pushy and very, very, very, expensive. So pushy and expensive they pushed us right away into the arms of the Banfeild who as expensive and pushy as they can be , still do not hold a candle to the pushy expensiveness of GC.


The Answer Dogs
”Inspirational” is a synonym for “desperate”

Dear State Employees,

I send greetings to all State Employees and Public Servants of this state.

On behave of all of us, I send a request for a real raise and better working conditions and better insurance coverage. I also would like new carpet in my office and fewer wasps.

As we celebrate State Employee Recognition Week/Public Service Recognition Week, I am reminded of the many vital services you provide the citizens of this state.

I will celebrate by continuing to “accidentally” hang up on the public and pretending I can’t forward calls from my outdated phone, thus forcing them to call back. I will also continue to provide the vital service of lying to them in a very professional, yet courteous manner. I will also continue to serve “the public” by removing “snake pit” and “hell hole” from my vocabulary and replacing them both with “All Nursing Homes Are Different!” and “All Nursing Homes Receive Complaint, It’s just a part Of Doing Business!”. These best serves “the public” that owns the snake pits and hell holes in question. If a caller tells me that they are searching for a new facility because the last one “smelled like a hospital”, I will hang up on them out guilt.

Your commitment and dedication to your profession are evident. You have “stepped up to the plate” in recent years

No Raises.

adjusting to major workforce reductions

“Adjusting” to a crippling Hiring freeze and the contiuned hemorrhaging of dissatisfied employees into the private sector.

and limited resources because of the national economic crisis.

911? Dear gawd Almighty! I can’t order paper clips because of 911! If Shrub hadn’t sent us to war with Iraq I could have a new stapler?! but on the other hand, if this is a thinly veiled reference to the ongoing fiscal failure of our republican over lords? then preach on!

In good times and bad, you have recognized and demonstrated that the work of state government continues, and the quality of that work is always a priority. Thank you for your dedication, and for being an inspiration to others who also face turbulent times.

Those of us who remain in serve to the state are too lazy or inept to get better jobs. We are “inspirational!” we’ve got second jobs at Wal-Mart and pester those around us to buy our crappy “home based business’ ” decorative items/kitchen utensils/cosmetics.

When I read the newspaper or listen to the news, the number of state employees who contribute so much to their communities impress me. You coach athletic teams, volunteer with special programs, work on community projects, serve as leaders in your communities, and continually touch lives in positive ways. Your call to public service continues.

When ever he watches the news and it does not lead off with “State Employees use State Finds To Buy Motor Boats and Use State Vehicles to Drive to Adult Book Stores to Buy Porn with State Funds”, he is happy. He is very happy that it is Wake County Schools employees who are currently in the hot seat for Motor Boats and Porn. He is over joyed that the DOT is not making headlines with their noose collection again.

While the contributions you make both in your community, and in your workplace often seem to go unnoticed, I want you to know that you are recognized and appreciated for the good work you do for the State of North Carolina. Thank you for your many contributions toward building the One North Carolina that we all want and need.

The public doesn’t care about us, except to not want to give us more money or supplies or better working conditions. The Governor doesn’t care about us. Nobody cares about us. Deal With it. I didn’t know we had more then one North Carolina? Does he mean the poor part and the rich part? Does he want Charlotte to step up and buy Rockingham? I’m confused.

With Regards,