Good. Morning.


With the new glasses came the need for new clip on sunglasses. Two weeks ago when I started my frame search I went to Frame Store Number 1 and looked at their selection of clip on’s and I was shocked. $30 for clip on sunglasses? They were not even kind of ashamed of themselves. It’s not as though their clip on frames they were selling were made by blind Tibetan Monks or are in any way Fair Trade clip on sunglasses. I could tell because they weren’t playing “world music” and I didn’t notice any guilt inducing hand woven wall hangings or genuwine hand made pottery made by third world children with no hands or any depressing poster made from recycled paper informing us of third world poverty and how much better The Third world would be if if only the current crooked Junta didn’t have to worry about paying the World Bank debts piled up from the last crooked Junta.

The current crooked Junta isn’t going to and can’t pay the debts, it’s just the idea that they owe so much money! It makes them feel bad, it effects their little bitty crooked Junta self esteem! Because if the WTO would just forgive those debts - Boy Howdy! Would they have a higher standard of living! They wouldn’t be a third world nation at all they would be Belgium! - So I think Frame Store Number 1 clip on sunglasses were just over priced. Wal-Marts clip on sunglasses are also made by blind Tibetan Monks but they aren’t at all Fair Trade clip on sunglasses, they are Unfair Slavery clip on sunglasses – but I can afford Unfair Slavery product and I can’t afford Free Trade. Poor people get just get screwed and end up screwing each other.

Anyway, on the home front.

Kitty is a morning person. He wakes up and takes Dogger out and picks up the paper and then makes us all breakfast. Not really. He shreds paper and knocks things off shelves until I finally get up. If he’s cold he sits on my head while he knocks things off my bedside table until I wake up. I search around in the dark to find where he put the clock and mentally boot him down the stairs.

This morning, post clock finding, I finished my morning twalet and tried to get dressed, Kitty sleeps on my clothes all night so they are always warm and fuzzy with cat hair when I put them on. In January it’s nice, in August its insult to injury. This morning, they were a little dampish. “This is different” I said to myself. “Kitty did you pee on Mommy’s clothes? You know I’ll have to kill you?” a quick sniff exonerated him from the peeing charges. I pulled my slacks over and it looked like there was a sock on them. “Where did that sock come from?” I looked at Kitty who was now curled up on the pillow. “Kitty? Did you weave Mommy a sock?” Kitty yawned at me and left. It wasn’t a sock. Kitty barfed on my slacks.

Kitty doesn’t barf. Kitty’s’ GI problems are lower not upper! Ew! Ew! What was I going to do now? I don’t want getting dressed in the morning to morph into A Ready To Wear pick your own adventure book! I lay out what I’m going to wear the night before and that is what I wear the next day. I kept a stiff upper lip and continued on getting dressed and went downstairs to my dresser to find another pair of slacks. The replacement slacks did not go well with the pre existing outfit choice. I told myself the fashion police don’t have a substation in Raleigh and it’s not as though I was going to have to face the paparazzi when I take out the dog and pick up the paper. I needed to snap out of it and deal. I can deal. I did deal. I changed clothes three times and mentally figured out how much postage it would cost to send Kitty to the moon or a third world nation, but I dealt.

By the time I got to work I thought I really deserved a cookie.