Clean Sweep

I waited to do my spring cleaning. Call it my Summer Sweep.

I have family coming and I thought that since they were actually going to see my house I might want to lose some of that winter weight, get rid of the tracked in snow and ice and make room for the tracked in sand and pool water. I like slurries, in their way they act as a cleaning agent and kind of, more or less, a little bit sort of keep the kitchen floor from getting too filthy. No, not really, the floor is filthy and I think that there is some sort of invisable tree that is still dropping leaves because I can not keep ahead of the piles of leaves on my floor. I’m also pretty sure that Dogger is working on a garden in my entry way because that is the only way to explain the amount of soil that makes its way in there.

Once you start cleaning its hard to stop. I decided that I was going to do this in an organized manner. I wasn’t going to flit from scene of horror to scene of horror; I was going to finish one scene of horror time and I was not going to let myself just move the mess from one room to another - I was going to throw things away and not just repackage the mess for some later clean out.

I had to let go of my idea to see if dust bunnies could be spun into useable thread, I was also going to see if I could score my own evil troll. I needed my own evil troll to "force" me to spin my dust bunnies into thread and then have the troll somehow turn the dust bunny thread into gold. News Flash : Dust Bunnies Are Not Useful - FAUX News could not spin dust bunnies into anything useful. This made me sad. I had been hoping for a second career as a dust bunny artist, really it came down to the fact I don’t own a spinning wheel, have access to an evil troll, or much to my shock, possess enough dust bunnies to make it profitable even if I did have access to the needed spinning wheel and evil troll. It turned out I am too good a housekeeper. Right.

I was not going to let the scope of the job get in my way. I said “Okay. I’m going to start on the upstairs and move my stuff to the downstairs bedroom and then I’m going to turn Camp Knotty Pine back into my guest room!”. I then clapped my hands together and said “BREAK” as the day wore on I could have used cheer leaders. It’s a very unfun activity, I don’t care how many people talk about how housework is fun or a “treasure hunt” or a great opportunity to exercise - in practice, it sucks.

What I really hate about it is it’s a lot like any other home improvement project. Once you get started and finished one little part , everything else suddenly looks like ass so you have to something to it and it just leads to even more work and you end up taking on much more work then you had originally planned. I was just hoping to achieve what passes for “Before” on my home improvement shows and ended up with “Surgical Suite #3" and I’m not even finished yet! I have a bathroom, a hallway and the whole kitchen to go! Work is yucky and unless whatever you cleaning is really, really, really dirty - you aren’t going to be able to tell you did anything to it! I mean, it’s not that I would consciously let my house my get so bad that it would make it so that when I did finally clean it that I could tell... but it doesn’t hurt. I like instant gratification.