Spinning

I kept up my pursuit of the  chaise by dipping a toe into Craigslist. Overstock. Com did not have the selection that I had hoped. I decided that CL was an option when I looked at the prices and saw that if I only had to fork over $100 for the piece that I could afford to have it recovered to make it suit. I mean I could still end up paying  big dollars for it but at least it would be exactly what I want and isn't that why we pay the big bucks for custom anyway? Besides buying used is much better for the world at large than buying yet another new thing.

I still cling to a fantasy if finding the perfect chaise and having it be part of some sort of dream living room set that is in the right color the right style and the right size  and getting rid of everything in my living room and starting fresh-  all for $400. New.

Speaking of size and style. When did "contemporary and modern" start to mean "As seen on Miami Vice? I walked through to several different showrooms (completely unmolested by salesmen) and they were all  full of enormous pieces of furniture shaped like gigantic upholstered pancreas's! (pancrei?) So Miami Vice, I mean it may be because its a bastardization of the  same style they were ripping off twenty years ago on the show but everything was just sooo round. Good thing I didn't like anything because no one would have wanted the sale anyway. I was practically invisible everywhere I went. I think its because the furniture was all too big for me.

The same thing happened to me at both Lowes and Home Depot when I was buying appliances. I was there with my checkbook in hand and I had to beg a clerk to sell me something. I should have brought a penis to the showrooms, it might have gotten attention. There is a handy dandy Adam and Eve right down the street. I could bring in at least a pseudo penis and see how long it took for someone to wait on me. I'll just wag my penis around and wait for someone to ask if they could help me find what I'm looking for. No asshole. I think I just want to walk around your 10,000 square foot showroom with my penis.Without your help. I did it the other day with just my vagina and you ignored me just fine.

Everything I saw was designed for our 6500 square foot mini mansions and our equally huge asses. I saw a story online about how furniture designers are designing chairs larger to better suite our increasing size of our asses - Well, they are! And from what I can tell, the average buyer of new furniture is a huge, gigantic fat person living in a huge gigantic fat house. I mean really! I saw chairs that you could back an aircraft carrier up to. Tacky, tacky, tacky. If you're that big you don't need a chair you need a stall.

And woe to you trying to furnish something more modest - I saw some smaller pieces at the cheap joe's place I went to earlier but if you actually had money to spend and taste you would have to learn to embrace minimalism because the places I went to did not think small, even the kids furniture had roid rage.