And the Oscar (tm) Went to...

And again, I stay up so you don't have to. I am all about the self sacrifice.

Damn. This thing isn't even scheduled to leave the ground until 8:30! Shit. I'll be up all night, I may have to reevaulate my dedication to self sacrifice.

8:30 - Finally underway. Lame-ly, but underway.

 But wait! NPH? Wow, this is going to be better than I thought. Can he stay? He's so cute and so good at this. He should be on broadway not wasting his talent on a sitcom. Love him. Love Busby Berkley too. Enough with the love...Can we just hand out the damn awards? Please? I'll go order one of his books new from Amazon and everything. Are we really going to introduce everyone in the damn audience? We all ready trotted out all the  acting nominees, wasn't that enough.

Get on with it. Clooney is going to send a nasty email in the morning.

8:48 - Best Supporting Actor:  Christoph Waltz, Inglorious Basterds
8:59 - Best Animated Feature - Up

Miley Sirus? Really? Ew. Can't even read. Gawd. And? Looks like whore on her wedding day.

9:04 - Best Orginal Song - "The Weary Kind",  Crazy Heart
9:15- Best Orginal Screen Play -  The Heart Locker

Okay. I loved John Hughes too.

Two more young people I don't recognize. I am so old. The explanation of the short films lasted longer than most of the shorts. They could have just shown us the winner in its entireety,

9: 32- Best Animated Short - Logorama
9: 34-  Best Documentory Short - Music By Prudence (African girl in wheel chair)
9:37-  Best Live Action Short Film - The New Tenents
9:41-  Best Make Up - Star Trek
9:50- Best Adapted Screen Play - Precious

9:58   Best Suporting Actress - Monique,  Precious
10:07 - Best Art Direction - Avatar
10:10- Best Costumes - The Young Victoria

Oh, look two more young people I don't recognize. The girl is slouching at the Oscars! Even I could stand up straight for the Oscars!

I do not care for horror films.

Gods. Yet more young people I don't know.

10:25-  Best Sound Editing - The Hurt Locker
10:27-  Best Sound Mixing - The Hurt Locker

I follow Elizabeth Banks on Twitter. What is it exactly that she does.

10:36  Best Cinematography - Avatar

Demi Moore and the RIP tribute. Now We Dance! You know what would waste less time? Just announcing the damn winner. I know the people in the audience need time to go pee, but I have to be at work tomorrow.

10:53-  Best Score - Up
10:55-  Best Visual Effects - Avatar
11:04- Best Documentory Feature - The Cove (Dead Dolphins)
11: 07 - Best Film Editing - The Hurt Locker
11: 16- Best Foreign Language Film -  Argentina,  El Secreto De Sus Ojos

I am never going to get to bed. Please bask in my self- sacrifice.

Oh. Goody. Group Presentation. Nummy. JUST HAND OUT THE DAMN AWARDS. We know what great people they all are, we all ready like them. Just do it. I have to go to bed, because I assume this is all about me, I am the only person this is putting out, no one else also needs to go to work tomorrow. This late night nonsense is the dark side of the Equity Monday rule. Long drown out speeches from people who barely know them from projects they can barely remember  doing going on about what great people they barely remember them to be. We. Get. It. Total supermen and superwomen all totally deserving of this award.

11:33-   Best Actor - Jeff Bridges,  Crazy Heart
11: 47 - Best Actress - Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side (for real. Meryl Streep and Gabourney Sidibe lost to Sandra Bullock)
11:55 -  Best Director - Kathryn Bigalow,  The Hurt Locker (The forst woman to win this award in  82 years)

11:59 - Best Picture,  The Hurt Locker