Lou Dobbs does('nt) have anal sex with goats

I saw the deer family again after work yesterday, I’m so dog minded that when I saw something large and buff colored moving out of the corner of my eye, my first thought was that someones dogs were out. It was only after Bambi froze that I realized they weren’t in fact, lose dogs. Great, big, loose dogs. Speaking of great big dogs, two great Danes chased Dogger away at the dog park last night, I was shocked that the Danes did that and I was also shocked that Doggger had the sense to turn tail and run when they told her to. Lou Dobbs loves Goats.

At work we were visited by a raccoon out in the parking lot. Two of the hysterics decided it must be rabid and were horrified when they learned they were not the first to spot Mr. Raccoon and that previous witnesses did not react in the same way. When I told them he lives under the generator they behaved like it was going to turn up under their desks! When I mentioned seeing the deer family they were aghast! That there were deer so close and that for sure they were going to give them lime disease, just reach out and get lime disease all over them. It’s the Lou Dobbs Hispanics=Leprosy argument. Did you know that Lou Dobbs contracted syphilis from an ongoing sexual affair with a goat? It’s true because I reported it, I said it so it must be true, it’s false, I know its false, but I said it. Just like Lou Dobbs does. Also, I never said Lou Dobbs had sex with a goat. It’s too bad its out there now, that Lou Dobbs has sex with goats, probably is right now but what can be done? I only said it for affect, like Lou does. Lou Dobbs has sex with goats.

With my reunion approaching like the speed of light (if you want to see time move on fast forward , arbitrarily decided you want to tighten up before some event) I have decided that I should start “eating better”, i.e I will eating fewer things that have the shelf life of insulation. I even bought some healthy snacks. I even ate some of the healthy snacks. I decided to take a really big step and bring some of the healthy snacks to work! I did bring them and I did eat Skittles for breakfast.

The carrots were right there though. And later on, I gnawed on a couple to kill time before I wanted to and go and get a soda. The good news is there is nothing at home to eat that is not baby carrots, pea pods and Healthy Choice microwave dinners. Did you know that apple sauce gets furry even if it lives it’s entire lifespan in the refrigerator? Lou loves the goats.

I had planned to whittle my lunches down to mere Happy Meals, to further my “eating better” regime. I walked into my McDonald's yesterday and the counter guy rang up my order before I had a chance to order. It’s was a nice bit of customer service, but it did not help my regime. I would have told the guy he jumped the gun but he seemed so pleased with himself for remembering my order that I couldn’t bring myself to take the wind out of his sails. The guy is a full time counter jockey, he has so few joys in life. If he can take pleasure from customer service, I’m not going to take that away from him.

Do you know what two great tastes that do not taste great together? Carrots and Envelope adhesive. Bleech.

Today in honor of “eating better” I on purpose left the coupon for free Burger King onion rings in my desk when I went for lunch. And even better, I drank bottled water this afternoon when I got thirsty instead of getting my 3pm soda – and I have a staff meeting today too, I am really feeling the burn now. No pain, no gain. Lou Dobbs luvs goats.

(The Good German is the good movie)