Wednesday, November 21, 2007

HAPPY DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING!!

Aren’t ya glad you had to go to work this morning? Isn’t it nice getting into the office so fast? No traffic no congestion no lines. Of course, if you work at the airport your life must suck. I think just working nearish to an airport would suck today, but I suppose a smart guy could rent his parking spot out as Long Term parking.

I’m excited, I finally have at least one of my Christmas cards figured out... “One of?” you say “How many different cards are you going to send?”, and to that I say Well, it’s complicated., see I took all the Christmas decorations with me on vacation, not enough as it turned out, although at the time as I stood there along the road side in July or had to drag them with me through the wilderness, they seemed like a lot of baubles and balls and garland... Stand next to the road and decorate random fir trees and don’t feel like a weirdo - You can’t, you are weird. You are standing there in your shorts putting Christmas decorations on strangers tree in July. It wasn’t quite so bad out in the wilderness but then I was still lugging around a box in the middle of nowhere.

You know what would have been really cool though. If I had fully decorated the trees and then just left them like that. That would have been awesome. Can you imagine walking through the woods and encountering a fully decorated tree? Out in the middle of nowhere? Or you’re driving along the road and out of the corner of your eye you spot a Christmas tree? In July?! and then you’re somewhere else a while later and you see another one. That would be art.. I felt weird when people saw me doing it, it didn’t make me stop and in fact, I was really surprised that so few people actually asked me what I was doing. I was like Where have you been? IS everyone blind? Or do they assume there is something wrong with me?. One and I almost think the only person to catch me mid-deco was my cousin, who has so not been on my Christmas card list for years because she was a bitch this one time... I haven’t actually had her address in a long time, so it was kind of a silent boycott, but I knew I wasn’t sending her a card, even if she didn’t know. This year, she gets a card.

I just had this thought. What if you put one of those battery operated Rudolph noses on a road kill deer? That would be cool. A little cruel too, and I know that Reindeer and the local deer aren’t even kind of the same, but a dead deer with a red nose would certainly attract attention.

Lights Up:

Driver - Oh another roadkill. Why don’t they clean those up?

Passenger - Some places use them to feed the homeless.

Drive - Ew?

Time passes, miles pass. Maybe they make it a game of picking out what the remains once were.

Driver - Possum

Passenger - No, that was a beaver.

Driver- Too big, wrong color.

Passenger - Decay. It’s swollen up. It’s been there for a while. Gawd there is a lot of them out here. They need signs.

Driver - Oh, someones pet. I hate seeing that.

Passenger - Me too. Rudolph!

Driver - Bambi! Cinematic deer for $200 Alex!

Passenger - No! It had a red nose! OMG



And scene!

And then I also have this whole series of photos of my fake tree and those turned out very cool. So, yeah, I have a lot of designs. If you want a card from me, I bet I have a card for you.

2 comments:

Cat said...

The one I saw this weekend that I liked should win some kind of a fabulous Christmas card picture prize. If there is such a contest, you should enter.

Unknown said...

Awe... blushing, Thank you!