The Joys of Pet Ownership


I took Kitty back to the vet on Saturday because he had started to throw up again and I haven’t seen any signs that the three pills a day I had been forcing down his throat for the last eight days had shown any benefits. It was like I hadn’t been forcing pills down his throat three times a day eight days at all. After eight days of pill forcing I wanted to see him healed.

Kitty cringes when he sees me.

Me - Hi! Sweetie! How is my baby!
Kitty - Keep your hands where I can see them.
Me - Oh, honey! Don’t think that way! Let me pick you up.
Kitty - Why? What are going to do to me?
Me - I’m hurt! I just wanted some kitty snuggles.
Kitty - Right. In the kitchen? I don’t think so.
Me - Want some kitty snacks? Mmmmmm!
Kitty - Screw you. The trust is gone.

True, I have about seven more days of three times a day pill forcing a head of me, but anybody getting antibiotics forced down their throat three times a day for eight days, should have some change in their symptoms. There has been no change and he was throwing up again. Cat barf is not a fun substance, cleaning it up does not make me happy and Kitty does not like to diet and this purging thing is not his style. Kitty prefers his food to stay where it is supposed to until he is finished with it. I think he is very disappointed his body . I think he’s ready to send his entire GI track to its room with out its dessert. I know I’m ready to beat its little GI track ass.

Before I took Kitty back to the doctor and spent even mroe money, I decided to cheap out and see if I could find a more mellow food for him. I found a nice lamb and rice that the makers claim is gentle, mellow, happy cat food. What it is a much lighter colored cat food so when he throws it up on the carpet it doesn’t leave an orange stain, it leaves a cream colored stain that matches the carpet. Its more expensive then his regualr food, he still throws up but it doesn’t stain as badly . I think the cat food company should use that as a marketing devise. I know if a cat food could promise me that when my cat threw it up that the food wouldn’t stain my carpets, I would be all over it. I mean its super that the food is all nutritionally balanced and vet approved and all those healthy, pet positive things, but the most important aspect of any cat food is its non staining dimension and whether or not it matches my decorating. I don’t think I’m alone in that opinion. I love my cat but I also am fond of my carpets and I am a lazy house keeper and I keep the lights down in the house and I can’t see - so there have been times when stains have had the chance to set and, and... decorator colored cat food would not be a bad direction for the cat food manufacturers to study.

Stains or no stains. Kitty wasn’t getting better and it was back to the vet.

The first appointment I could find was Saturday morning at 9 a.m. In Saturday time that’s like 3 am. Its very early. It’s painfully early. I don’t like setting the alarm for me to go places Saturday morning and you can bet I don’t take myself places at 9 am on a Saturday morning unless I’m going there to pick up a check, a large check. Needless to say, I don’t go out much Saturday mornings.

So, now post vet instead of pissing off The Kitty three times a day by shoving pills down his throat, I can now piss him off four times a day. Whoopie. And even better? Now I can piss him off my shoving a syringe into his mouth and shooting nasty orange sherbert colored yuck down his throat. He loves it and even better? He’s still throwing up.



Edited to add, Hunter S. Thompson has died. He shared an obit page with Sandra Dee, who also died this weekend. I think he would have enjoyed the absurdity of the two of them sharing anything. RIP.