Monday

I was going to Live!Blog!the!Oscars(tm)! , but then I started to think about all the other bloggers out there all ready Live!Blogging!the!Oscars(tm)!, something they started at approximately 5am last Friday morning and I decided to let them do the hard work. But for all of you Live Blogging afficionados, here is me Pre!Live!Blogging!Sunday!Afternoon!Before!The!Oscars(tm)!

Sunday 11:15am - Bill Conti is on Wait, Wait Don’t Tell me! or some other Sunday panel show on NPR or PRI or whatever. He is funny and he assures us, the Oscar Audience that it is not up to him to play a long winded Oscar(tm) winners off the stage, he just works there, he does as he is told. So leave him the fuck alone when Jamie Foxx loses his shit and goes on about his dead grandmama for four minutes, its not Conti’s gig to make the final decision about playing Foxx off and bringing on the next award presenters. I do want to point out that Don Cheadle is an actor who would not lose his shit, ever, under any circumstances.

1:00 - I put together my special, Oscar(tm) meat loaf. Yumm.

I spend the rest of the afternoon and into the evening playing hide and seek with orphan socks I should have washed yesterday when I was immersed in laundry. I also find dirty glasses that should have gone into the dishwasher this morning.

As this is pre!Oscar!Live!Blogging! Here is the obligatory list of who I think should win and who will win. As always, I am right and they are wrong.

Best Picture

I didn’t actually see any of the nominated films this year so I didn’t do the heard compare and contrast work that needs to be done for this, but, I heard on the somewhere that on some airplane that was showing Sideways, they cleaned up Asshole and substituted “Ashcroft” and that made me laugh, so

I think Sideways should win.

Will Win - The Aviator, it’s made the big dollars at the theaters and it stars whatshisface and was directed by Scorsese. ( I was wrong, Million Dollar Baby)

Best Director

Again, didn’t see any of the movies.

I think Scorsese should win.

Will Win - Taylor Hackford, because its going to split the difference between the Eastwood and Scorsese voters.
( I was wrong)

Best Actor

I think Don Cheadle should win because he is an ACTOR. It is what he does. He didn’t wake up on day and say , “hey, I could do that, why the hell not?” he is always good, he makes good choices with scripts and he played a real man, he didn’t impersonate a real man.

Will Win - Jaime Foxx, unless voters didn’t think his Golden Globe speech was as cute as he did. ( I was right!)

Best Actress

No opinion at all. Swank all ready has one, “Maria Full Of Grace” is too unknown and nobody saw the movie, Benning? Long shot, English lady? Again, no one saw the movie, If I had to, I would say Kate Winslet should win.

Will Win - Annette Benning. ( I was wrong, Hillary Swank

Best Supporting Actor

I think Hawkeye should win.

Will Win -Morgan Freeman for having the patience to play this same part 4,567,972 times until he finally got nominated for it. ( I was right!)

Best Supporting Actress

I don’t even care. But I am noticing that this is the year of the impersonation! Blanchette, Linney and Okonedo are all portraying real people as are Foxx, Cheadle, Dicaprio, Hawkeye, and Depp. So, in the interest if Art, I think Virginia Madson should win.

Will Win - Blanchette wins the coin toss.( I was right!)

I’m also noticing that its about how well you played a real person but also how well you played a real person in a movie that eleven people saw. “Finding Neverland” and “The Aviator”, and “Ray” made it to my town but I didn’t see ads for the others. I don’t think the ratings are going to be huge for this unless a lot of people are planning to tune in to see how long it takes for Chris Rock to implode or to count how many times they cut to see what Jamie Foxx thinks about each, individual joke/award/comment all night long and how long will the night be? 4 hours 35 minutes.

Rock did not implode, but he is a sexist asshole. The show was dull as dishwater and it ran just about 3 hours