Ding, Dong Merrily while High

Tired of endless repetitions of Jingle Bells and Santa Clause is Coming To Town? It could be worse, much, much worse… Imagine the following, over and over and over. It will make you long for such Christmas classics like Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer or Jingle Bell Rock.


I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian

There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage
I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too!


Nuttin' For Christmas

I broke my bat on Johnny's head;
Somebody snitched on me.
I hid a frog in sister's bed;
Somebody snitched on me.
I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug;
I made Tommy eat a bug;
Bought some gum with a penny slug;
Somebody snitched on me.

Chorus
Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I put a tack on teacher's chair
somebody snitched on me.
I tied a knot in Susie's hair
somebody snitched on me.
I did a dance on Mommy's plants
climbed a tree and tore my pants
Filled the sugar bowl with ants
somebody snitched on me.

Chorus
So, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I won't be seeing Santa Claus;
Somebody snitched on me.
He won't come visit me because
Somebody snitched on me.
Next year I'll be going straight;
Next year I'll be good, just wait
I'd start now, but it's too late;
Somebody snitched on me.

So you better be good whatever you do
'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas.
-S. Tepper, R. Bennett

And where there is nuts there is the:

The Chipmunk Song

Dave:all right you Chipmunks! Ready to sing your song?
-I'll say we are!
-Yeah!
-Let's sing it now!
Dave: Okay, Simon?
-Okay!
Dave: Okay, Theodore?
-Okay!
Dave: Okay, Alvin? Alvin? ALVIN!
-OKAY!!!)

Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for toys and time for cheer
We've been good, but we can't last
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast
Want a plane that loops the loop
Me, I want a hula hoop
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Dave: Okay fellas get ready.
That was very good, Simon.
-Naturally.
Dave: Very good Theodore.
-Ahhh.
Dave: Ah, Alvin, you were a little flat, watch it.
Dave: Ah, Alvin. Alvin. ALVIN!
-OKAY.)

Want a plane that loops the loop
I still want a hula hoop
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Dave: Very good, boys
-Lets sing it again! Yeah, lets sing it again!
Dave: No, That's enough, lets not overdo it
-What do you mean overdo it?
-We want to sing it again!
Dave: Now wait a minute, boys
-Why can't we sing it again?
-[chipmunk chatter]
Dave: Alvin, cut that out..Theodore, just a minute.
Simon will you cut that out? Boys...


All courtesy of The Christmas Carol Lyric Page