Food for thought

The Kitty keeps doing walks by’s while I'm sitting at the desk. He walks behind my chair, leaps up on to the table next to my desk, crosses the scanner Rubicon and ambles across the strip of desk between the key board and the edge of the desk. Sometimes he punctuates his little journey by knocking the mouse off the desk. He can just walk on by because it is not that time yet.

Does Cheney know about the Cat Tail Up Nose? After he stuck the tip of his tail up my nose a few times I was ready to feed him early. I asked him if he was hungry.

Dumb question.

Of course he was hungry. He’s always hungry. I might have well as asked him if he was breathing. I went to the other room and checked his bowl. There was food in it; not a lot but it was far from empty.

Me - What’s your problem, there’s food here.

Kitty - I forgot.

Me - You just assumed since you felt hungry that you had no food? You didn’t check? You got a little worried and you thought you would harass me? Are you even hungry?

Kitty - I want new food, that is old food. I want fresh kibble.

Me - Has this stuff been through the wars? I put it out this morning

Kitty - and it’s been there all day!...

Me - It’s kibble, it’s not potato salad.

Kitty - It’s best fresh.

Me - Kibble has the shelf life of amber.

Kitty - Old kibble tastes like coal!

Me - Hm-mm. So if it sits out long enough...I could burn your scat for heat.

Kitty - I’m cold.

Me - So am I

Kitty - Not my problem. Feed me?

Me - What if pick you up? You are very fuzzy.

Kitty - Must you?

Me - I must. Ohhhhh! Squishy kitty! Mmmmmmm, This is nice! Aw www. I'm warmer all ready, You’re just a tiny little electric blanket!

Kitty - Okay. I Am So Cute. Warm and Fuzzy. Oh. Yeah. Mm. Squishy Kitty. Yeah. Okay. I’m done.

Me - Noooo! More squishy. Fuzzy kitty!

Kitty - I said I was done! Let me go!

Me - No! Fuzzy Baby Kitty-Witty

Kitty - Let. Me. Go.

Me - Does the kitty want down?

Kitty - Yes. Let Me Go.

Me - What a cute a kitty. Awwwwww, you’re the cutest kitty eveh!

Kitty - LETMEGO Mrrrrrrrrrrrroar!

Me - Ow! Gawd Damn it! That Hurt! You put a hole in my shirt! You punctured my hand! Nasty Beastie!

Kitty - ( from kitchen) Feed me!


I would bet that if I had fed him kibble while I was holding him it would have ended differently. No, I think I would lose that bet. I think Along with the blood shed and torn clothes I would have had to contend with scattered kibble as well.

Other Things

I learned that if Nephdog and Dogger are of a mind to co-operate, say, they thought they were going home for dinner and they decided that getting their faster would mean that they would eat sooner - They are perfectly able to drag a full grown woman for some distance down the street - on her knees. Up side being, the homeys hanging around outside the drug dealers house now know that white girl can cuss to make a DJ blush. Just sayin', I got skilz.

I also learned that jeans made for grown ups are not made to withstand such treatment. When I went shopping to replace the now torn up jeans, I learned that jeans manufactured for adults are made form very thin denim. $29 and all you have to do is apply a little friction to the knees and they tear like paper. If I was willing to drop $45, I could get new jeans even more torn up than the old pair I was replacing.

I also learned that the reason you buy two spot light light bulbs when you are pretty sure the project will only require one light is so that when you drop and shatter the first one minutes into the project, you have a back up.