Boxes Day

I got my Christmas cards up and out. Yay. I even went to the post office and mailed them last night so they would go out this morning. Did you know that Christmas is seventeen days away?! I was going to order something online yesterday and it said they could only guarantee delivery would be win in two weeks. I said “Okay” and was about to press “buy” when it occurred to me to check the calendar to see when two weeks was – and I looked at it wrong and got very freaked out but then took the time to count the days and than I felt better and pressed “buy”. But for a minute there I was highly concerned.

Speaking of online shopping. It has made it kind of like Christmas around my house. Every few days there is a mysterious package at my door and it is up to me to remember who I bought this for and why. Yesterday for example I came home to find a huge box at my door. I was like “What the hell is that? What did I order?”. I looked at the label and it was something I had ordered for myself – an advent calendar! I’m not buying myself toys. Gawd.

It has always been my experience with advent calendars that they are smallish, flattish things. The box they sent could have held a very tall very fat toddler. I went to open the box and ripped out the paper work to see what exactly these monkeys had sent me in this huge box, I was ready to get all huffy and my hand was all ready on the phone. The paper work reflected my order: One Advent Calendar, Kitties and Mittens and about a cubic yard of crumpled paper.

Shut up about the Kitties and Mittens. I needed an advent calendar and the local calendar places I tried had no clue what I was talking about and when I googled advent calendars,I got a lot of big German jobs made of wood and stuffed with chocolate – which is great but these big German jobs are sehr kostspielig and not what I was used to advent calenderwise. I just wanted something with little numbered cardboard windows. I don’t need candy prizes, I mean, I would like candy prizes, but I am unwilling to pay for them – Enter Kitties and Mittens. It was the Kitties which at least includes snowmen or I swear to Gawd, things even less seasonal, like a Sarah Michelle Geller themed advent calendar! scroll down, read the ad. This is not the one I saw while I was in the market, the one I saw was a BTVS advent calendar that one was gone when I last looked The Geller one replaced it and is even scarier and makes the Kittens down right seasonal in comparison.

If you forced me at stake point to pick a non-religious, non-Santa advent calendar and I all the choices you presented to me to pick from were advent calendars derived from long canceled Sci-Fi shows that ran on WB, I would have preferred an Angel The Series advent calendar if I was forced at stake point to pick an advent calendar from that pool of choices. Angel felt very bad about killing all those nuns back in the day and while Buffy did dress as a Nun once, her heart wasn’t in it. So, I would choose ATS for my canciled Sci-Fi show themed advent calender needs. If I had a need, which I don't. Thank you Kitties!

The kittens are not perfect. I didn’t know they made secular advent calendars, I mean they are used to count down to Christmas are there other uses for calendars that start December 1 and run through December 25? Am I missing something?

In a perfect world the kittens would at be wearing Santa hats and there would be glitter – but for glitter and Santa hats, you pay more than $1.95 and have to schlep all over and probably have to deal with nosy people asking you about the children you are no doubt buying the advent calendar for… In the ether the only thing they ask you about is your credit card number.