Revenge of the Twooth


It has occurred to me that dentistry is becoming the new chiropractics. I broke my tooth, I called around found a dentist and made an appointment. Dr. Teeth confirmed my initial diagnosis and put the equivalent to a band-aid on it. Which promptly fell off. I made another appointment to get the permnent temporary crown, a Tierra if you will, installed. So be it. I made yet another appointment to get the permanent crown.

Three separate office visits in less then a month. I also was coached into making another appointment for a cleaning in another month. It’s some kind of Dentistry-Chiropractic cabal – if everyone makes patients pay for multiple appointments, it won’t look as questionable as it is.

I can see them now; a Golf/Marketing Seminar at an over priced resort near a beach…

Q - How can I make my patients believe that I need to see them every forty-eight hours for six months?

A - Explain to them that it is a process and they must conform to the proscribed plan of treatment if they ever want to be able to perform as they did before they began to see you. Make it their responsibility to make the commitment. It isn’t to you, but the treatment! If they balk at the multiple visits, hammer home that it is only themselves they are hurting – and make sure you highlight the painful and disfiguring results of making fewer appointment over less time.

Q - How can I best draw out the commitment? Some of these are minor procedures?

A - There are no minor procedures! Make procedures into events! . Get creative! Involve as many of your staff as you can. Your patients shouldn’t know that your receptionist isn’t actually a trained medical technician, have her hold a instrument or make some sort of important action just barely out of the sight lines of the patient – she could be making an appliance or running up some sort of bonding agent or just using an old drill to polish her nails! Have a brain storming session with your staff to come up with exciting ideas of your own. If you come up with some really workable options, tell us all! We have a forum online just for that!

Q - How many appointments are too many?

A - Good Question! “Too Many” is not really applicable in most cases. The patient needs to keep coming back as often as the Doctor tells them too. If they do complain, gently explain that it is their health that is at stake. You took an official oath to Do No Harm. It’s your license if something goes wrong at any stage of treatment. Legally, and ethically, you need to see them for as long as you need to see them. Explain that while there are other treatment avenues that could be explored for this particular condition, those avenues could lead to their deaths! .

Q - Help! I’m a podiatrist! How can I make my patients think they are going to die!

A Repeat After me “If This is left untreated, it could lead to amputation”. No one wants to use a peg leg! Most patients have no idea why they are seeing you in the first place! As you know, there are some conditions under the rightconditions that if left untreated could, ultimately, in enough time, lead to amputation. You are not being an alarmist, you are being honest. Another helpful possible side effect of not sticking with treatment can be Sepsis! Even a hangnail can lead to death! One condition leads to another, and all untreated conditions lead to infection!


Q - I’m an optometrist. I didn’t actually go to medical school, how can I put the fear of death into my patients?

A - High Blood Pressure, Brain Tumors! Diabetes! Just because they are so signs of it today, does not mean that they may not be about to show up! You can tell your patients that multiple visits to you to follow these conditions, is much, much more affordable then a visit to a real Doctor.


Q - I’m a dermatologist. My patients aren’t going to die of pimples, what about me?

A - Disfigurement! In your line of work this is a powerful treatment weapon. Just tell your patients if the area is left untreated or worse treated with inexpensive over the counter skin creams, that they will, not can, they will be terminally disfigured. They will never land the job in the career that they want, never marry and end up ugly and probably will end their own lives violently! So, really you can just have them connect the dots! or if they have really watched too much TV, talk to them about Sepsis! They can die of untreated pimples!


Doubt it? I Don’t.