Housing Authority

I’m fully expecting the guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy to come bounding in and to tell me to stand aside and bring out the guy who really lives here, as only the home of a straight man could be this big of a pig sty. They wouldn’t believe that it belongs to a straight woman even as I point out the florals and cat figurines. I need to clean this place up.

It doesn’t help that both Cat and Dogger think that tearing up paper is a good way to pass the time. I have tried to remind both of them that they both have many expensive, especially designed cat and dog toys to choose from – that they do not need to shred my TV guide every week.

This falls on deaf ears. Dog would be happy to eat all of kitties toys and kitty would be pleased if all he had to do through time was to tear bits off my magazines and do sick things to his lovey. Dogger would also like to do sick things to the kitties lovey, and this is a constant battle over a singularly nasty stuffed cat.

I did mow the lawn and many loads of laundry and put away several weeks worth of clothes that I should have been hanging up or at least hung up weeks ago. I even went as far as to change the sheets on the guest bed. Go Me.

All that laundry didn’t get the floors swept or the carpets vacuumed or the leaves racked in the backyard or the kitchen curtains laundered and ironed. It really sucks when the “Honey Do” list is all you.

What to do first? The lawns need mowing and people can actually see that, so mow first? Or think inside the house and do the housekeeping stuff first. But, you can vacuum the rugs when ever and the lawn can’t be mowed in the dark. It could but not by me. Then there are the floors, hardwoods are really nice but they get really dusty. Carpet gets dusty too, but it sinks into the carpety parts and you don’t really see it the same way.

Or how about the kitchen. Or how about not.

The bathroom needs some attention, or I could just bath the Dogger. That has a lot of attendant water drippage and it kind of cleans the bathroom… it doesn’t clean the toilet but it keeps the floor looking not entirely filthy. Maybe I could use the kitchen curtains to scrub the Dogger? Two birds one stone.

Mr. Kitty is the author of the dirty curtains. He likes to look out those windows and he leaves his furry calling cards all over them. Maybe I should have just bought gray instead of tasteful off white. I don’t think this was an eventuality that Martha Stewart thought of when her minions were designing her kitchen line.

Martha should get to work on designing a cat with fur that does not shed.

I still also need to get the entry ways taken care of. I’ve almost decided that the entry that I and the Dogger use the most, may need to get painted whatever Sherman Williams has that is the closest to Dirt color. It won’t be look very pretty, but it won’t look very dirty either.

The good thing is, my glasses prescription is ageing and that helps to mute my horror at the state of my housekeeping. I really do not see the dust bunnies. They have to grow into dust buffalo before they begin to register with me. I think they would make great toys for kitty, but he insists on not using things I want him to as toys. He won’t play with the stuff I buy and he ignores the stuff that is just laying around. Bastard.



I took time away from my not doing my housekeeping this weekend to see a movie. Go See Lost in Translation. You may have heard that it is a good movie, it is a good movie. I kind of think it is a great movie. I’m not sure that some one not named Coppola could have gotten this movie greenlighted or been able to attract the caliber of talent both in front of and behind the camera that she was able to, but it is still a terrific movie. Go see it. Tell me what you thought of it.