Baby You Can Drive My Car

More From My Friends at The Friday Five


Ahnuld is the Governor of California. A moment of silence please.

1. What vehicle do you drive?

1993 Nissan Light Truck. My first new car. I paid for it with all my own money despite the fact that for most of its wonder years I was only occasionally employed. These are great trucks, they run like iron and will keep running as long as you take care of them. You don’t even have to take good care of them. They are very well behaved little vehicles. Mine has been a very good little friend. It took me to my first real job and from Texas. I bought it because a lot of my friends had trucks and they seemed to like them. I think it was one of my better decisions got a reasonably good deal on it and still got the color I wanted. I must have looked at every light truck made in 1993. They kept trying to show me these really fancy trucks despite the ongoing problem that I didn’t actually have a job. I really feel in love with one. It was like a rolling Lazy Boy ™. Very nice - Not for me, but very nice. There was also the problem of the dealerships. My Mother and I went to one and they insisted on speaking to my father about the trucks. He wasn’t even there. Another turned me off his trucks my reveling that the trucks he sold were really for high school boys and the trucks were little better then toys. I don’t see many of those trucks on the road any more. I see my truck everywhere. When I finally found my truck the dealer was suffering from selective hearing. I kept giving him one number and he kept hearing another. It was a lot of back and forth. I won.


2. How long have you had it?

September of 93. I can’t believe I’ve had that truck for 10 years. It is still a nice looking little truck. It got it’s first scratch not a month after I got it when I lent it to a girl I worked with so she and her boyfriend could move. That was the last time the truck moved any one with out me. Have truck will help move. I got to where I dreaded seeing people walk up to me smiling. It always meant they wanted to ask me something. It was always “Hey! Whacha doing this weekend? Are you busy? Hey, could you do me a big favor?”. I had to look at that scratch for a good year until I discovered touch up paint. I got rear ended not long after that. Hit and run. Fortunately for the Asshat that nailed me, the truck has a real bumper so he just bounced away. It wasn’t until last year that someone hit me and didn’t bounce away. A low life rammed my truck in the parking lot of my apartments. I heard it happen and promptly jumped into the Nile. It wasn’t my car. It wasn’t what it sounded like any way. A neighbor came to my door and told me to get out of the water. I called the cops. And waited. And waited. And went inside. And went outside . And waited some more. Finally Doogie Howser shows up and tells me about this cool liquor store robbery he was taking care of instead of me. After I told him my new best friend neighbor had told me about what he and his friends saw and pointed out the crap left over, he filled out his little report and went to talk to them. I gathered up the evidence. I got a nice big check from my insurance company and the low life got a warrant for his troubles. The girl whose car he was driving got spanked by her insurance company and scored a ticket. Both are going to hell.



3. What is the coolest feature on your vehicle?

It came with a kewl stripe effect down the side. It also has the Chrome Package and it’s an automatic. I drive a girl truck thank you very much. It is also Red. A good red, not one of those ketchupy reds that fade and get pink.



4. What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle?

The radio is failing and that is a major bummer. The tape player died a year ago. The radio more or less works, the volume has some sort of short in it. I am not enjoying this. I went to a used car site to see what my truck is worth now? I’m going to keep it until it’s a classic. Right now it’s worth more as recycling then as a vehicle. Makes me sad. I love this truck. It has been very, very good to me and I am forever grateful for it.




5. If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now?

I don’t know much about cars. There is a very useful looking car-truck thing that I would like. I also think a station wagon would be nice or a minivan. Red.