Round and Round


I don’t know why the other cars are rushing around when I'm on the way home but I’m rushing home in order to be able to change clothes and walk Dogger while its still light. When she doesn’t get a walk, she’ll look around until she finds something to chew on, then she makes sure she gets my attention and then leads me a chase around and around the dining room table. To try to make this a less enjoyable form of exercise for her, I make it as unpleasant for her as possible. I do this by banging on the table and bellowing operatically at her to stop. This is supposed to make the whole thing so loud and unattractive to her that she will remember that the next time she wants to do this. Who knew she was an opera fan?

We didn’t walk today. Instead of walking my dog I got rerouted around Robin Hoods barn. The radio didn’t feel it was necessary to take a break from their breathless Michael Jackson frenzy to tell the locals that they might want to take an alternative route home. They could have, in passing, “Oh, by the way? going Downtown? Find another route. Okay”. The cops could have blocked off the entry into downtown and rerouted us from there instead of forcing us on the non - grand non – tour of the city. When I first got rerouted I thought that they were doing this for a Christmas Show thing they have booked at the convention center. I thought that they were doing all this so it would be easier for the people to park so they could go to the Christmas Show and buy sequined incrusted crèche sets with bonus Red White and Blue™ glitter Uncle Sam ™ Santa, now!with! singing I’m Proud to Be An American™ (Holiday Mix) action. I don’t think people who would want to buy sequin incrusted crèche sets with bonus Red White and Blue™ glitter Uncle Sam™ Santa, now!with! singing I’m Proud To Be An American™ (Holiday Mix) action need things to be easier for them. I think they should suffer for their glitter incrusted crèche sets with bonus Red White and Blue™ glitter Uncle Sam™ Santa, now!with! singing I’m Proud to be An American™ (Holiday Mix) action.

So needless to say by the time I did finally get home it was too late to walk Dogger. Before I went inside I went out front and saw a Random Beyotch outside the Drug Dealers House and asked Random Beyotch outside the Drug Dealers house what was going on downtown; because I figured if anyone would know what a horde of cops was doing within shouting distance of the house, it would be them, taking at least a professional interest in what was causing the cop convention. Random Beyotch looked up from her BBQing ( was I invited? No.) to tell me she didn’t know and I should go on inside and watch the news if I wanted to know what was going on downtown. I guess it wasn’t in Random Beyotchs’ job description to be aware of such things, she must be an intern. Random Beyotch was busy grilling crack or whatever and couldn’t be bothered with The White Girl Next Door. The words “lots” “cops” and “everywhere” did to make her look up towards the house as if to see if the “lots, of cops, everywhere” might be advancing on her and her BBQ from somewhere behind the Drug Dealers house.

I went inside and did what Random Beyotch suggested - Gas Leak an Underground Gas Leak. I Drove around Robin Hoods Barn and got dangerously close to booths of sequin incrusted crèche sets with bonus Red White and Blue™ glitter Uncle Sam™ Santa, now!with! singing I’m Proud to be An American™ (Holiday Mix) action, for an underground gas leak, for all that something could have at least exploded or sang or been covered with glitter.