Dust Mites and Dead Wasps and Bare Floors Oh My!
(the freaky code? it's Blogger.Com's fault, not mine)

It's time again for me to make lists. There are the things I would like to do before the holiday and my family they get here, the stuff that I want to look as though they have been done and the stuff that I’m just going to have to shove under a bed. I want the house and Dogger and the Kitty to look their best. Some of the things I can do, some I want to do and some I haveto do. Most of them, if I could afford to pay someone else to do for me, and probably do better, I would. I can’t afford to pay anyone to do these and frankly, I don’t think I want strangers to know how big a slob I am, I would have to clean up before I would allow any maid to come here – and even if dealing with slobs is what these people do for a living, I don’t want to end up on some kind of end of year Slob List in Maids Quarterly or How To Clean Up, while Cleaning Up Journal.

I write on the top of a piece of typing paper:

Things to Do

It looked sloppy, so I wrote it again. Still bad, gawd I have bad hand writing. I can’t do it on the machine because my printer doesn’t work anymore. I think about not doing it at all and just watching TV. A few hours later I start again.

Things To Do

1. Clean The House
-The Kitchen
-The Bathrooms
-The Bedrooms
-The Hallway.
2. Clean The Back Yard
- Rake
- Pick up the dog bombs
- Sweep the steps
- Remove the tree limbs

The Clean The House entry is probably the easiest. I would rather wrangle dust bunnies then dog bombs.

I start with the kitchen. I mop. Well, first I sweep, then I vacuum then I mop. Yuck. The mop isn’t even clean. The mop is actually blue and gray instead of brown and black. Wow, It looks nice! after I clean the mop, the floor instead being tan with a matt finish as it has had, is actually an off white with a satin finish. It looks nice. The rest of it is just a matter of spritzing the counters with glass cleaner and using a little elbow grease. I even launder the curtains. Which are not gray after all. The sink is kind of rough, but a little cleanser and another hour in front of the TV makes it all better.

Then on to the bathroom. I have been using the downstairs bathroom as a make up mirror since the toilet got sick and I turned off the water to it. Brosky fixed it for me and I now have two working bathrooms. The bathtub is an odd color. I can’t remember what color it is supposed to be. This makes me watch more TV. An hour later, a little toilet bowl cleaner splashed around the tub reminds me.

The bedrooms get vacuumed and tidied. What I can’t throw into the laundry I put in a drawer. What I can’t wash or put back I hide under the bed. The hallway gets vacuumed and I cage up the largest of the dust gerbils and take them to the Flea Market to sell as pets for apartment dwellers.

The Back Yard. I decided not to rake it as the only thing under the leaves is mud. Mud is not pretty to look at out the windows, the tree limbs I fight Dogger over, but ultimately stack against the fence. The dog bombs, also not pretty, stay under the leaves. I do rake the steps.

Now all I have to do to keep the house clean is check myself into a hotel for the next two days and put the animals into storage for the next few years.