More Joys of Home Ownership


So what were you doing Friday night at about 11:30 till about oh, say 1 am? If you were tucked into your little bed I don’t want to hear about it.

If you were down in your basement in jammies and rubber boots up to your ankles in muddy rain water trying to hold back a deluge with a broom, we should talk.

I had thought that since I had the new wet dry vac that I had any potential flooded basement problems handled. In that it wasn’t going to flood any more. I thought the drain, if cleared on a regular basis, would drain. No, it won’t. It will drain what it can , and the other water will wait in line to get drained; no it won’t. Water doesn’t wait in line, a lot of the water will want to go inside and use the drain there.

So, Friday night. I’m getting ready to go to bed. I had a long week and I was looking foreword to going to bed and staying there for a long time. It was raining and the rain makes a nice sound on the roof and I as thinking how relaxing and soothing it was, how nice it would be to fall asleep to. And then there was this not at all soothing sound, the pump was going on.

So I got up and looked for my shoes and went to the basement. I turn around and go back upstairs and argue with myself about what I need to do first. I decided that better footwear was Job 1 and I went in search of rubber boots – I couldn’t find them. This makes me hope they are with my TV remote which I also can’t find and that makes me look behind couch pillows.

I find the rubber boots but not the remote and try to think about what I should be doing. The pump is still pumping and the water is still flowing and there really isn’t a job for me. I find a job. I move the now sodden area rug ( yes, I have an area rug in my basement. Shut Up), tugging and pulling on the sodden and filthy thing makes me sodden and filthy too.

My new job was to help direct the water flow by sweeping it in the right direction and keeping it from going on side trips.

I decide I should open the door and look to see how much water has collected out there - I see a lot of it coming in the open door. I do this stupid thing twice. The water is coming down the steps like a water fall. I make a note to myself that I can claim this on my wet lands designation paperwork. Eventually the rain slows and the drain catches up and I go back to bed.

Saturday Morning. Its warm, its dry and the basement is merely damp.

The rug is still sodden and heavy. I put on work clothes and roll the nasty thing up and re-flood the basement. I drag it up the former water fall stairs and through the back yard and lay it out flat to dry in the dryish front yard.

I call Brosky to whine about my night and tell him about the flood and how I heroically moved the heavy, sodden rug. He says that no, the rug should not be out flat in the yard it should be up over something.

I heroically, heft, move and rearrange the rug again . After my second shower and second change of clothes for the day. I make another note to myself, No matter how sunny it is outside, sunny doesn’t make heavy, sodden and filthy any less heavy, sodden and filthy.