Lets Join The CIA! Part 1


I’m looking for a job. I all ready work for the state, so I figure, working for the Big State, should be a snap.

Okay. Greeted by Jennifer Garner. Does this mean if the CIA hires me I too will get to wear a raspberry colored wig and a cat suit to work everyday? Okay!

Jennifer says

“I'm Jennifer Garner. I play a CIA officer on the ABC TV series Alias. In the real world, the CIA serves as our county's first line of defense in the ongoing war against international terrorism. CIA's mission is clear and direct: safeguard America and its people. And it takes smart people with wide-ranging talents and diverse backgrounds to carry out this mission...people with integrity, common sense, patriotism and courage. The kind of people who have always worked for the agency. But since the tragic events of 9/11, the CIA has an even stronger need for creative, innovative, flexible men and women from diverse backgrounds and a broad range of perspective. Right now, the CIA has important, exciting jobs for US citizens...especially those with foreign language skills. Today, the collection of foreign intelligence has never been more vital for national security. If you're an American citizen and seek a challenging, rewarding career where you can make a difference in the world and here at home, contact the agency at www.cia.gov. Thank you.”

I am not a smart person. I do not have wide reaching interests. That could be a problem. But they are looking for people from divergent backgrounds! They are looking for dumb people with no interests! I’m In!

There is a quiz to see how CIAalisious you are. Lets go!

Okay. First Question:

Team Orientation

I prefer to work independently, on my own.

I prefer to work independently, but will work in a group if required.

I can work independently or as part of a team; I have no real preference.

I can work on my own, but prefer the opportunity to be part of a team effort.

I prefer to work as a member or part of a team.

If I am left by myself too much I play solitaire. I don’t want to be seen as anti-social so lets go with
“ I can work on my own, but prefer the opportunity to be part of a team effort”.

I don’t want to make it look like I’m not smart enough to see that other people get the opportunity to take the blame. I can work on my own, but prefer the opportunity to be part of a team effort. Being a “team player” is a good thing. It’s all about plausible deniability. Always make sure you have someone close by to point the finger at.


Decision Making

I would prefer to work in a support role, helping the people who make the decisions.

I prefer to study and analyze a problem before I make any decisions.

I am able to make quick and accurate decisions.

I am very comfortable making important decisions, even in new and unfamiliar situations.

I am very comfortable in relying on my good "gut" instincts in making decisions.

Since the job I want out of is all about choice A, and I think “studying and analyzing” are code words for “Hiding under my desk and not answering my phone” and that can’t be CIAlisious, My quick decisions tend to be wrong decisions, I’m not comfortable making decisions even in old and familiar situations, so I’m going to go with

I am very comfortable in relying on my good "gut" instincts in making decisions.
Because my “gut” instincts usually tell me I’m doomed and “doomed” could be translated as “Nothing To Lose!” Very CIAalsious.