That guy from Nirvana…



I guess by the time Cobain killed himself I had given up my subscription to Rolling Stone and taken up with back issues of, Pretentous Theatre Weekly that I found in the Big Time Professional Theatres recycle bin. I had moved on.

When I heard on the radio this afternoon it had been 10 years, I said "Damn! was college 10 years ago all ready?" actually, college was eleven years ago all ready and it probably explains my initial lack of reaction at the guy's suicide. I remember the band; I remember the music. It was the sound tract of most of the parties I went to. I could hear it pouring out of dorm windows.It got played in the dining halls. A lot of the guys I knew of all ready dressed like that and listened to Seattle garage bands; Of course, those that were wearing flannel and not washing their hair before it got trendy to do so, promptly shaved their heads and threw out their skateboards. What do you do when you have all ready stopped bathing? Homeless chic was all ready so late 80s by that time.

I do remember the news about it. I was working a lot and didn't watch much TV, but I saw clips of kids in flannel clusters lighting candles and mourning in the street outside the mansion where the poor little rich boy killed himself. I never got it. I never got the Cult of Kurt. I guess I was too old by then.

It was a surprise that the rock star used a gun. Isn't ODing or death my small plane more Rock and Roll? there some sort of cosmic crapshoot for them. Do they have any other choice? "oh wait. You want to die? well, lets see? when do you go on tour? will you be using any small plans? do you use drugs? Goooood" Drugs and plane crashes kill those people. Suicide by gun seemed so messy and mean spirited. So un Teen Spirit-ed

The flannel drenched mobs outside the house thought their John Lennon had died. Kurt Cobain was no John Lennon. Gifted, yes, over hyped? Yes. He killed himself before ever got to distinguish himself the way Lennon did. He may have, had he not taken the way of the gun. Lennon didn't want to die. Lennon was killed, Cobain killed himself. He could have really built a legacy, been a force, done something, he could have been a father to his child. Maybe that was the real reason those mobs were mourning, the death of his promise, what he could have been, what he never let himself have the chance to do.

I haven't heard Nirvana on the radio very much, or really, at all in along time. I heard it this morning and I'm sure by the end of the week I will be tired of Teen Spirit again, as I was the first time it was in rotation.

I did like the band; I remember the chatter about the baby on the cover of one of the albums, because of some bitching about his penis being visible or something. It was a big deal. . The music always reminds me of school and parties and good times. I remember the sound tract to Singles being played a lot but that no one saw the movie.

Poor Kurt Cobain, he didn't want to keep watching the movie.