Diss-carded again


I was going to finally read my Cosmo. I didn't get a real chance yesterday so I thought I would try again.

I go to lunch, by myself, natch. I head for my neighborhood Wendy's because it's the closest and it takes plastic and I don’t hate their fries. On the way there I get stopped by a red light. Fine. There is left turn lane and it goes right by the Wendy's lot, I think maybe I'll see if it is any faster then going straight and making a U-turn to get o the restaurant. Okay.

The light changes for everyone else. And by everyone else I mean for the entire eastern seaboard. Everyone going in every direction except mine gets to go through the intersection. I'm still there.

I decided that this route is not faster and next time I'll just do it the other way and it isn't even one of those six of one things… It's a definite several dozen of one v. I don't know of another, I can't think of an appropriate metaphor to use. I haven't taken the SATs in a long time.

Finally into the parking lot. I open my purse and take out my wallet so I will be all ready to go. I have my magazine I have my card and I'm going to eat lunch! My plastic isn't in there. It's not lose in my purse either. I find a small forest of paper in there but no credit card. I know where it is. It's by the phone where I left it after explaining a second time to the VISA people that my card and I are very happy together, no one is being held hostage and as far as I know the card isn't doing anything with out me.

VISA -…but there is a charge at a Burger King -

Me - Yes. Me. I did that

VISA - For $4.55?

Me - Yes, that was me.

VISA - This card has a hold on it.

Me - I know. I found out at Burger King. Then I called you. Then you unheld the card.

VISA - There was suspicious activity on the card. The Pet Shed?

Me - Yes. flea meds, I buy them every three months. I have a cat and a dog. I couldn’t go to my usual site because it was down so I did a search… why am I explaining this. My card is fine I am fine. Buh-By

VISA - There was a charge at, deep breath…Domestications? (said in a tone of voice that made it sound like it supplies sheets and towels for terrorists or kiddy pornographers)

Me - Yes. I bought a bed spread. A Blue one.

VISA - Yes…. It didn't go through.

Me - I found that out. We all ready talked about this. I talked to Domestications we all talked!

VISA - we try to keep an eye on accounts to make sure there isn't any suspicious activities.

Me - Last month I bought a computer.

VISA - We can't check all accounts all the time. The $48 looked suspicious.

Me - Can I go now?

VISA - We're keeping an eye on you…


Yes. $48 whole dollars all on one day. And then later on, $30! The Humanity! They truly are a point of light, good work on the $4 at the Burger King they should go to the Police Academy, really take advantage of their advanced fraud spotting skills. Next time you might bust me for using my own card for something really nefarious like Canadian drugs!

I mean good lord! if they are keeping that close an eye on my purchaces I'm going to have to start playing Mother May I every time I fill my tank., $17-$18 all in one place….

So. I didn't get lunch again and I still haven't read my Cosmo.