Finders keepers pt. 2
I finally got tired of worrying about fessing up to the library that I lost their book. So I fessed up that I lost their book.
I went in their armed with my checkbook and a penitent attitude. I walked up the desk and prepared my tale of woe. I greeted the Library Lady and took out my checkbook, she checked her computer and told me I had a .10 fine and I could put away the checkbook. I smiled and told her that I did actually need the checkbook and I owe then more then .10.
Me - I lost your book.
Library Lady - Oh no! Have you looked for it?
Me - Yes. That's why I'm here. It's gone (deep breath) and I want to pay for it.
LL - You know you can have fines up to $15 and still check out books from us?
Me - No, I didn't but…
LL - Why don't you keep looking.
Me. I've been looking for three weeks and I can't find it. It ain't there to find. Lemme write you a check. I'm tired of looking! I want to stop looking! Put me out of my misery damn it.
LL - It's really hard to get your money back if…
Me - It's not in my house.
LL-(garbled) - list as lost?
Me - Okay.
LL - I don't want to do that because… hard to get your money back. Before I worked for the library… hard
Me - Okay. Can I pay my fine?
LL - Keep your money.
Me - Okay. I just wanted to let y'all know. I feel I should explain or something? I had it and then it disappeared. Magic or something, you know? I've thought of everything and I think it has to do with over head power lines…I had a whole story about evil wizards and literate drug dealers plotting together?
LL - You've thought about this!
Me - I've had three weeks.
So. $15 plus whatever the book costs.
The Dogger new clothes
I still haven't received her new stuff and I know that Mourn'n Ronnie Day isn't going to speed up delivery either. I want her new stuff!! She's fixing to get a new ride and I want her to be stylin' when she's in it. Girlfriend Dog wants to be able to represent when she's out and about and she can't do that in what she has now, a woman needs nice things, for Dogger, nice things mean things that say Hi, I'm A Girl! . I like it to be clear to passers by that she is not a boy dog. I would think that if she was a boy dog it would be obvious. She has taken on a boy dog habit of peeing every three feet when we walk though. So I could see how someone might think… She doesn't even use the grass, or find a shrub; she just drops trou where ever. Concrete? No problem! bricks no problem! No shame at all. So that pink collar can't get here to fast enough. She's tacky, but she's a she, damn it.
Little Red Mini-Van
Doggers new ride. I am now a mini-van driver. I'm going to need to make it less mini-vanny and more … something, I don't know. I'm thinking of getting one of those stick on soccer balls on the rear door with Doggers name on it and maybe something to represent Kitty. Do they make little stick on pentagrams? I don't want to get to into denial though. I don't want to be one of those sad people trying to pretend they don't drive a mini-van. I don't want to tart it up too much but I will need to do something. Does anyone have any suggestions?