All The Other Bloggers got to go!!

Who does a blogger got to back to get invited to the convention? I mean. I have political content, I link to the DNC! I mean, what's the deal?

What would I do there anyway? I'm sure they wouldn't let me bring Dogger with me and about half my content is Dogger specific and I know that Kitty would be considered a WMD and he certainly wouldn't be allowed past security and with out Dogger and Kitty what could I possibly fill the time with? I guess I could post endless reports of the condition of the ladies rooms or pieces comparing and contrasting the various delegations choice of funny hats or I could interview the official democratic donkey.

A couple of phone calls later, I still wasn't invited but - it turned out they did need some one to interview the   Official Democratic Donkey and no blogger alive has interviewed as many domestic animals as I have. They caved! They fedexed me my credentials, which turned out to be a map of the Zoo and told me where he was staying - all the delegates should have it so well. All those other bloggers may have the juice to get invited to the floor, only I was invited to the zoo.

Me - So, Swifty. May I call you Swifty?

Swifty- Whatever. Misquote me and I'll kick you hard.

Me - Verbatim buddy. It's all about you. Have you seen Shrek

Swifty - The first one or the second? I liked Murphy's portrayal, but I think it made it a little broad. I think it also would have been nice to see the character as more then just the donkey side kick.

Me - you thought he made too much of an ass of himself? 

Swifty - Ha. Yeah, a little. I mean there are so few portrayals of Donkeys in the media, as much as we all love Eddie Murphy, it would have served the community better to have the character voiced by Denzel, or Billy Murray

Me - Bill Murray did Garfeild.

Swifty - Really?

Me - So what brings you to the convention?

Swifty - A Horse Trailer? What do you think brings me here?

Me - Artists rendition of a Donkey, I'd say. You look great.

Swifty - I was on Atkins but I missed my chow too much. I lost the weight by will power.

Me - Wow.

Swifty - The last thing I wanted to give the partisan press was a Fat Ass to laugh at.

Me - Aw.

Swifty - After we got here, I thought I was going to have to kick the door down. I can do that, you know. Kick down doors.

Me - I read the story, it was very moving.

Swifty - Moved me right into a Zoo.

Me - It's nice here. You should see where the press is staying.

Swifty - I bet the press isn't inhaling monkey shit.

Me - Ya wanna bet?

Swifty - I can't get enough of the lions roaring. Makes me want to flee. I've never wanted to flee before.

Me - But think of the stories you can tell the grandkids!

Swifty - I'm sterile.

Me - Anyway! Have you got to meet any interesting people?

Swifty - I talked to a zebra. That was exciting.

Me - Wow. Did you have a lot in common?

Swifty - They aren't really horses either.

Me - I didn't know that. Hey, you live in Arkansas? Was it cool when Paris Hilton came through?

Swifty - I didn't meet her but I heard that the live stock where they were spent a lot of time tranqed.

Me - I thought that was just the girls.

Swifty - Look, I have a date with a gazelle. I'm going to have to end this.

We ended the interview and I came back home. It was very exciting. I'll be blogging the rest of the convention from the comfort of my couch.

Speaking of the convention. Wasn't Jimmy Carters speech terriffic? Carter is one of the few pols who doesn't have to ask WWJD? he all ready knows.  He knows that God would house the the homeless, feed the hungry and minister to the sick. He also knows that after he had house, fed and ministered to the people he would set his sights on the protecting the people from explotation and torment. Shrub wouldn't even ask much less do it.