Good Morning!

You know that your day started off badly when going to work only improves your day so far.

The other day I was being a big baby about having to deal with a rat. What a whiner! One rat! One rat I can deal with in my sleep! One rat is nothing! And that rat was a freshly dead rat. That rat didn't smell, it wasn't nourishing a thriving colony of anything and it was easy to pluck from where it was lying in state. Easy.

Yeah. Those were the days! The good old days. Sigh.

This morning. This morning I picked up no fewer then Three dead rats! Two of mine and one of my neighbors. One of my rats had been there for a while. I was smelling this rat yesterday afternoon but couldn't find the source. One of the cats must have dragged it from where ever it was and brought it for a cat covered dish dinner or something.

I have a rat plague on my hands! I am plagued by dead rats! They are falling from the sky. Dead rat here, dead rat there, even deader rat over there! I don't know where they are coming from or for how much longer to expect this to be going on. I'm going through little rat-sized body bags like it's going out of style. On the cop shows make dealing with and bagging up the dead seems so… romantic. I think if those shows were done in Smello-Vison, that whole genre would pretty much fade away... yeah, watching them deal with a body that has been locked in a trunk out at the airport for three weeks might look all interesting, but having to smell that three weeks dead in a trunk body? I think shows about florists and GAP stores would suddenly become very popular.

And you know what's really pissing me off? These are poisoned rats. Someone has a rat problem and instead of having to deal with the dead rat problem they are sending them out for other people to deal with. I am dealing with their dead rat problem. This should not be my issue. It's not the good neighbors rat problem, and they aren't coming from the drug dealers' side of my yard. They seem to be coming from one of the houses behind us. I wonder how mad they would get if I just started to drop the bagged up dead rats on their porch?

Me - Oh, Hi! I'm just dropping this off. I found this in my yard and I think it belongs to you!

Neighbor - BANG

Somehow I don't think they want their rats back.

Another fun thing that happened this morning, prior even to the Great Rat Bag Up. Dogger thought that she really, really, really needed to go chase one of the feral cats that live around us. Dogger and I, had been experimenting with not using her metal pinch collar as her default collar. We were trying to use her cute collar most of the time. The cute collar much like lounging pajamas turns out to be an inside outfit. I had to chase her butt all up and down the street and in and out of back yards. I'm sure the neighborhood loved that. She didn't come back to me until she went into the wrong back yard and got chased out by the dog that lives there. Suddenly, Dogger can't wait to get back to me! she was all "Where have youbeen, I've been running around looking for you all this time." Bitch.

So yeah. If you have to go to work to see a marked improvement in your morning? Go back to bed.